I hope discussion will continue, but this seems like a good time to
take a deep breath and collect what has already been said. It is an
amazing record!
I'm extremely grateful to the women for taking the time and effort
to make their feelings known. You are not just helping each other,
but also raising the consciousness of the men in Sri Chinmoy Centre,
and providing valuable primary source material about the daily lives
of spiritual seekers.
All gratitude,
Assistant Moderator
-------------------
Question For The Women - Digest Version 2 - Part B - Message List
#3032
From: srichinmoyinspiration
Date: Fri Mar 19, 2004 2:28 am
Subject: Question For The Women
March 8th was International Women's Day. We failed to mark the
event, but I'm thinking maybe we should have. I would like to ask
the women how their experience as students of Sri Chinmoy has shaped
their lives.
We see that in the outer world, there are so many problems with
rape, abuse, and harassment. I get the feeling that many women stick
close to Sri Chinmoy Centre because they feel protected there.
Sometimes in the outer world, people make fun of women who choose
the spiritual life, saying they are "repressed" and other unkind
things. But I once heard an interview with a woman who said she felt
empowered by living the spiritual life, and that the role of women
in mainstream society has become vulgarized.
Sometimes in life, those who are most virtuous are taunted by those
who are most wicked, and those who are most innocent are victimized
by those who are most guilty of wrongdoing. Recently, Johnji posted
a poem by Sri Chinmoy called A Life of Innocence. At the time, it
struck me that one reason people are often moved to tears when they
meditate with Sri Chinmoy is that the consciousness he brings down
is one which is completely pure and innocent - so much so that it
brings forth what is pure and innocent in us, and cleans away all
our impurities, like a mother bathing her children.
A painful reality of life is that what is most pure and innocent is
often what is attacked by people who have become troubled. I do not
fully understand it - except that maybe spiritual sickness leads to
mental sickness.
Sometimes it seems that in the outer world, people have many strange
ideas. They think that because someone prays and meditates and joins
in the life of a spiritual community, that means they are "abused."
Also, it seems that if someone leaves a spiritual group and later
enters into therapy, there is tremendous pressure on them to conform
to negative stereotypes about "cults." In some cases, they seem to
make up ridiculous stories designed to please their therapist. Maybe
this is one reason there is so much confusion about spiritual
groups.
I would love to gain some enlightenment from the women on these
issues. Let me play devil's advocate: Is Sri Chinmoy Centre a safe
place for women?
I Think I Love You
God, I think I love You.
"Daughter, what is the proof?"
God, this is the proof:
You know, God,
I do not live with ignorance
Anymore;
I do not play with doubt
Anymore;
I do not cry with fear
Anymore;
I do not eat with jealousy
Anymore;
I do not dance with despair
Anymore.
"Daughter, enough.
You love Me
And
I love you.
Be happy. Remain happy."
#3276
From: anami2708
Date: Thu Mar 25, 2004 12:25 pm
Subject: Question for the women
All of you expressed yourself in an outstanding and unique way. It
would be worth making a book out of it.
For me, the question if I am feeling safe in the Sri Chinmoy Centres
never arose, because I totally felt like I was coming back home to
my real inner family when I became a student of Sri Chinmoy 16 years
ago.
I grew up in an tiny village in the Bavarian Alps, with skiing and
climbing in the high mountains which I knew very well - very often I
was sitting on the mountaintops watching the silent sunset. At these
precious moments I often cried out inwardly: "Where are you, who are
living (not just preaching) this kind of pure, spiritual, honest
life with the high ethical values I am looking for? Where are you O
brothers and sisters of this beautiful world, who really want to
leave this world better than you found it, who really want to grow
and mature in the inner life? Where are you....striving for the
impossible, to reach the highest of your capacities and
possibilities and consciously raise the human standard of life by
your living example?...where are you?"
For a long time there was no answer (I was about 15-16 years old).
Then in 1987 I met miraculously with Sri Chinmoy at a delightful,
heart-opening concert in Freiburg - and so my journey finally began.
It was like coming home. Meeting Sri Chinmoy and his students made
me feel really comfortable and at ease - at your real home you
always feel safe - not one thought was squandered about safety. It
is also said that you will recognize a real Master by his "fruits" -
by what he brings to the fore in his words and deeds, and of course
by the character of his students. Naturally we are all far from
being perfect - but there is an immense hunger for progress, and
loving respect for all beings on earth. And in the meantime, I know
quite a few human jewels of brothers and sisters on our path.
I am truly proud of each one of you - my brothers and sisters all
over the world - for you are taking the challenge day by day as the
real inner heroes of life, and I feel honoured and heartfully happy
to share this unique life-road with you. ...
With joyfully beaming gratitude
Anami
------------------------------------------------------------
#3290
From: Hladini
Date: Fri Mar 26, 2004 6:13 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
I would like to respond to the question about safety. Having had the
incredible privilege of being in the Sri Chinmoy Centre for three
decades, I can confirm that the Centre is indeed a safe place for
women. This path gives full respect and responsibility to both
genders. Good qualities such as gentleness, courtesy, strength and
purity are encouraged among all Centre members, so the women do not
have to suffer from the patronization and base macho behaviour so
prevalent among Western males. Nor do we have to play coy games of
flirtation and manipulation to gain position or prestige. Far from
being 'repressed', the women in our Centre feel very free to be
themselves, to steadily transcend their own limitations and to
develop their individual capacities.
Meditating and following the teachings of Sri Chinmoy has enabled me
to grow far beyond the tremendous fear, frustration, helplessness
and confusion that governed my early years, and to reach a joyful
understanding of life as a vast field for making personal progress
and for serving God and humanity.
Quite simply, being in the Sri Chinmoy Centre makes me increasingly
happy and poised. I cannot now imagine being confined to the
'normal' life of most other women, who follow the status quo and
look for satisfaction only in relationships, careers and material
possessions. I love my life of prayer and meditation, and I thank
God for the blessing of having an enlightened Master and a worldwide
family of aspiring brothers and sisters.
#3291
From: Paramita
Date: Fri Mar 26, 2004 5:55 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
As a member of the Sri Chinmoy Centre for almost 30 years, I feel
and have always felt completely and totally safe. I am accepted and
respected as a whole person--including my intellectual self and my
emotional self, but most importantly my spiritual self.
Here we are a very large international family of spiritual brothers
and sisters. This is a family striving for the ideal in inter-
relationships based on respect for the very best, the highest in
each individual. The essential goodness, the genuine love of God and
the service to God in humanity is what is valued in each person,
whether they are male or female. Every person receives tremendous
support and encouragement in their own journey to becoming the best
possible citizen of this world that they can be.
There is no discrimination based on gender, race, religion or
nationality. Abuse of anyone--male or female--is out of the
question.
#3297
From: devakigroulx
Date: Fri Mar 26, 2004 10:58 am
Subject: gratitude for so much inspiration
To all the posters worldwide--thanks so much for sharing your ideas,
poems, projects and writings of Sri Chinmoy.
Normally my readings are full of boring work-related
(stress-inducing) information. It's such a joy to read all your
inspiring ideas. I feel like I'm getting my 'reading' done online
with so many excerpts of Sri Chinmoy's writings being posted.
As I said before, all the womens' offerings have been a joy to read,
and I agree with someone who said it would make a great book!
I am going to encourage other members of my Centre to join the group
and hopefully post some of their own thoughts, feelings and
inspirations.
A note to our sisters and brothers in NZ and Australia: We admire
your oneness and dedication! You are so far away physically, but
spiritually, so connected and in tune with Sri Chinmoy and his hopes
for all of us to realize the Eternal Truths. Every time I see any of
you in N.Y. (having taken that long gruelling trip myself), I admire
you so much. You are always ready to serve, and always seem so
cheerful in spite of the jet lag!!.
Love and oneness,
Devaki
------------------------------------------------------------
#3300
From: Sugandha
Date: Fri Mar 26, 2004 3:59 pm
Subject: response to the question on women
When I first encountered Sri Chinmoy's writing, I found his words
both inspiring and comforting. Not only was his vision for the
individual seeker, but for the whole world. If these truths were
lived, then there was truly hope for beauty and justice, peace,
love, compassion and freedom for all.
Many years later, I find that my moments of true happiness and
clarity come during meditation. I wish that everyone were able to
avail him or herself of this.
On this path, every individual--man or woman--is encouraged and
inspired to reach his or her own goals, and in doing so contributes
to the joy and inspiration of all his or her fellow seekers. There
is a feeling of family, with the protection and support that goes
with it. It is also very interesting to meet people from so many
different countries that have so much in common.
All that being said, being in the Sri Chinmoy Centre is no escape.
It is a chance to discover the real, to face one's own weaknesses,
and to grow into a way of living which is both inwardly fulfilling
and outwardly creative. It is a tremendous blessing.
#3310
From: nishtha_nyc
Date: Sat Mar 27, 2004 7:03 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
A few thoughts in response to your question about women's experience
in the Sri Chinmoy Centre:
I personally came to the Centre at the age of 20 years. Now 32 years
later, I can answer with the strongest affirmation that the Sri
Chinmoy Centre is a very, very safe place for women--and men! (My
sister also joined Sri Chinmoy's path 32 years ago, some months
after I did.)
I was trying to read between the lines, trying to understand what
you were referring to when you asked if women are safe in the
Centre. Were you referring to the rape, abuse and harassment of
women that you mentioned? These issues just have absolutely nothing
to do with life in the Centre--thank God!--so much so that I am
still trying to be sure that was part of your question to us female
Centre members. The Sri Chinmoy Centre is a spiritual place where
men and women come to pray and meditate. It is not a place for
social life or sexual relationships. The people who join the Centre
know that from the time they join, and they have happily chosen this
modest lifestyle.
Maybe there are other meanings to your question about being safe?
Might I say that women members of the Centre are not only safe, but
also happy. I do not think there is a single female student of Sri
Chinmoy who came to his spiritual path just to be "safe" as you are
suggesting. Those who came to Sri Chinmoy to study did so because
they feel a need to improve their lives and progress as individuals
towards their own highest potential. This aspiration is not a
gender-related issue; it is a common spiritual pursuit. This is a
path of self-discovery and self-transformation. The Sri Chinmoy
Centre provides a very positive atmosphere for individuals to evolve
into the very best they can become. The Centre is like a warm family
where people treat one another appreciatively and respectfully like
brothers and sisters. Women play leadership roles in the worldwide
Centres, as do men. Many of us have established our own private
businesses (my sister and I, for example, have operated a vegetarian
restaurant since 1974). We women participate in sports events, art
and music events and community events on an equal basis with the
male members of the Centre. The truth is that we do not particularly
need to celebrate International Women's Day. Why? Because it is
already an integral part of our daily Centre lives. Women are
encouraged and appreciated in the Sri Chinmoy Centre on a daily
basis. They must also bear responsibilities and face all the same
challenges of a busy, modern-day life that the male members do.
I wonder if there is some confusion about spirituality itself. The
spiritual life is not intended to be an escape from practical,
responsible life or from society. On the contrary, men and women
alike in the Sri Chinmoy Centre are encouraged to be active,
responsible adults.
I do believe that in some countries where Women's Day is a more
popular holiday, such as the former Soviet Union, Serbia and
Montenegro, it is observed in the Centres. Where I am located in
the U.S.A., Women's Day is not such a widely popular holiday.
Women are by nature--their highest nature--sweet, soft, tender and
self-giving, but that does not mean they have to be in a position of
being taken advantage of. Women also have fortitude, strength and
patience. The time has come for women to bravely and sincerely
accept the spiritual life--the life of prayer, meditation and
selfless service--so we can transform our weaknesses and strengthen
our positive qualities. I have never met anyone who encourages women
to do so more than Sri Chinmoy.
- Nishtha
Jamaica, New York
------------------------------------------------------------
#3311
From: srichinmoyinspiration
Date: Sat Mar 27, 2004 11:30 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Thank you to all the women who are sharing their feelings and
experiences. There seems to be quite a bit of interest in this
topic.
I realize now that some women couldn't even believe I was asking the
question about safety in the Centre. They could not imagine I was
asking about rape, abuse and harassment of women, since--judging by
their responses--these things simply do not occur in the Centre.
By way of apology, I can only say that sometimes there's a
disconnect between the pure life led by spiritual seekers, and the
way they are depicted outside their own communities. One of the
reasons I started this topic is that I was asking myself: "Who has
the right to define spiritual seekers? Do they get to define
themselves? Or do they get defined and labeled by others?"
I think sometimes there are others who try and usurp the right of
spiritual seekers to define themselves. I am glad that the women of
Sri Chinmoy Centre are speaking out with their own voices, claiming
the right to have their own lives and own stories speak for
themselves. In my opening question I wrote:
"Sometimes it seems that in the outer world, people have many
strange ideas. They think that because someone prays and meditates
and joins in the life of a spiritual community, that means they are
"abused." Also, it seems that if someone leaves a spiritual group
and later enters into therapy, there is tremendous pressure on them
to conform to negative stereotypes about "cults." In some cases,
they seem to make up ridiculous stories designed to please their
therapist. Maybe this is one reason there is so much confusion about
spiritual groups."
I would like to follow up on some issues raised by Sushmitam in
connection with her years of experience as a psychotherapist. She
implied that there is such a thing as "good therapy" and "bad
therapy." I believe this to be very true.
In therapy, patients are often concerned with creating a narrative
truth for past events--one they can live with. A narrative truth is
not a literal truth, it is a retelling of the story of one's life.
The patient and the therapist reach an agreement about how the story
should be told, and the emphasis is not always on what is literally
true, but on what will make the patient "feel better"--or in some
cases, what will satisfy the therapist's psychological theories or
ideological convictions.
Gifted therapists don't allow their patients to adopt a narrative
which is a mere stereotype, which drastically alters reality, or
which unfairly demonizes third parties. Unfortunately, many bad
therapists will encourage precisely that, particularly those with an
ideological bias (such as anti-cultism).
People who have the misfortune of hooking up with an anti-cult
therapist may be told that they adopted spiritual practice due to
psychological frailties, bad parenting, an unhappy love affair, or
"cult mind control." Yet, social scientists who have studied the
data have concluded that people who join religious movements tend to
do so in response to deeply felt spiritual needs--often after a
period in which they were dissatisfied with the quality of their
spiritual life. This is certainly borne out by the women's stories
in this thread.
Sushmitam, you were talking about how people following a spiritual
path eventually have to confront their personal issues, and how
sometimes that's the point at which they leave. Maybe they received
abundant light and love which touched them to the very core of their
being, but something in their nature wanted to cling to their old
life. So they leave. Then, what is their experience? I have been
studying this issue, and I would like to share some observations.
At first they may promise themselves that they will remain faithful
"in their hearts" to the gifts they received. But when they are away
from spiritual practice, gradually they may lose that sense of
connectedness. They may feel a bit lost in the secular world, and
also guilty about having abandoned their faith. In some cases, they
may turn to drugs and alcohol. Eventually, they may seek the help of
a therapist.
This is a pivotal point. Such a person does not have a "cult
problem," they have an adjustment problem. A really good therapist
would see this. But if they get a bad therapist, especially one
allied with the anti-cult movement, then they will be told they are
"victims of cult abuse."
The patient may argue, "No, no, I was never abused. In fact, I was
shown tremendous love and kindness. If anything, I feel really
guilty about having let down my teacher and my friends, and having
failed to achieve my personal goals." But the therapist may say:
"All 'cults' and 'cult leaders' are the same. They are all abusers.
You must have been abused, I know you were. I want you to read these
books about 'cult' abuse. Then I want you to think about all the
ways you were abused and write them down in a journal. Remember, I
can't help you until you admit you were abused. Then you have to get
angry at the 'cult leader.' Once you start showing signs of
'progress,' I can gradually reduce your medication. I can also
introduce you to a little group where people like you help each
other 'recover' from 'cult abuse' by sharing their 'testimonials'
with the public. The final test of whether you're really 'cured' is
if you're willing to 'rescue' other 'cult victims' by telling them
the 'new information' you've learned about the 'cult.'"
Exposure to hate material in a group setting, plus complete
isolation from the spiritual group, can produce a radical inversion
of views. This is much like what is done to prisoners of war. They
are shown writing samples which vilify a person or group, and
pressured to write "confessions" or "testimonials" which will bring
their own accounts into conformity. They are constantly urged to
"imagine" a person doing horrible things which that person has NEVER
done in real life. Such false accounts gradually become real to them
through vicarious experience. (Psychologists call this "imagination
inflation.") Gradually, the image of a beloved mentor is replaced
with the stereotype of a hated "cult leader."
In my opinion, this kind of "treatment" by anti-cult therapists is
itself a form of abuse, and often leads to cases of False Memory
Syndrome (FMS). In the 1995 Sydney Morning Herald series "Therapy In
Turmoil: The Memory Controversy," Richard Guilliatt writes:
"Dr Jerome Gelb, a Melbourne psychiatrist who has recently treated
nine women for satanic abuse, says he now believes the stories are
false beliefs."
"'I have had three patients who have openly stated that their
"memories" were induced by the therapists they were seeing,' said Dr
Gelb. 'They were pressured into accusing family members of incest,
pressured into saying they were satanically abused, and in one case
pressured into leaving home.'"
"Dr Gelb argues that 'a significant cadre of poorly trained,
overzealous or ideologically driven psychotherapists have pursued a
series of pseudo-scientific notions that have ultimately damaged the
patients who have come to them for help.' He says that three of his
patients have now acknowledged that their recovered 'memories' of
abuse were actually confabulations produced by suggestive therapy."
"Dr Gelb has since become one of the most outspoken critics of
recovered memory in Australia, arguing in the pages of Australiasian
Psychiatry that therapists have done untold damage by using highly
suggestive techniques to induce false beliefs in their patients."
Malcolm Stern of the British False Memory Society writes:
"FMS involves not just recovering supposed memories but making them
the central feature in one's life, the basis of a new identity. The
rewards can be substantial: attention and sympathy; status as a
survivor (very fashionable in some circles); the companionship of
fellow-sufferers; above all, the comfort of knowing that, whatever
one's past or present problems, somebody else was to blame."
"We have seen [sufferers] reject anyone who doubts their
allegations, rush to join support groups, pore over the self-help
literature--in short, turn themselves into full-blown, single-minded
victims[.] ... We, for our part, regard them as victims of
irresponsible therapy, often allied to a dubious ideology." [BFMS
Newsletter, Vol 7. No 1 August 1999]
Charlotte Vale Allen, a genuine abuse survivor and the author of
Daddy's Girl writes:
"A woman I've known for over thirty years who's always been
searching for her 'gift,' for the career move that will finally
bring her happiness has now got memories that fill her with purpose.
After falling out of touch for a decade, she telephoned to say, in
essence, 'Guess what? Me, too!' But in the very new tones of
tremendous self-importance. This woman who'd never been able to find
something to do in life that would bring her any satisfaction was
now positively brimming with it. With the help of her therapist,
she'd at last found her calling--as a victim! She had ludicrous,
unbelievable tales to tell of satanic abuse--in the heart of one of
Toronto's oldest, wealthiest areas. Right! ... What is going on?
It's as if some sort of collective lunacy has taken hold of
people--the patients and therapists, both lockstepped in a march
toward finding a past history of abuse at all costs. Victimhood as a
desirable status is anathema to me[.]" [From the website of
Charlotte Vale Allen]
I apologize for bringing in a number of ideas which may seem strange
to members of a spiritual organization which has no history of
abuse. I guess my reason for doing so is to try and explain the
disconnect between the reality of Sri Chinmoy Centre--which has an
unblemished reputation--and the type of hate material which is
sometimes used to discourage people from choosing spiritual
alternatives.
In closing, I would like to say that there is good therapy and bad
therapy--and then there is downright abusive therapy. When former
spiritual seekers go to a therapist with a simple adjustment
problem, and end up being subjected to a program of psychological
manipulation which leaves them believing in ridiculous tales of
abuse for which there is no objective evidence, that is downright
abusive therapy.
One might even call such therapy a form of "social engineering."
After all, personal information about the patient is being used to
advance the therapist's hidden agenda. In such cases, the therapist
seems less concerned with helping the patient become a happy, well-
adjusted person, and more concerned with turning them into an
anti-cult activist willing to spread hate material about their
former religion.
In fairness, I would guess that most therapists are compassionate
healers who do want to help their patients. However, a therapist's
world view can strongly influence his or her sense of what it truly
means to "help." A gifted therapist might recognize that spiritual
seekers will not be helped by a programme designed to turn them into
secular conformists. But a "hack" may try and convince spiritual
seekers to abandon their faith and lead an ultra-pragmatic life
rooted in career, family and creature comforts. Therapy is, after
all, a mentoring tradition. Patients are most likely to be
pronounced "cured" if they end up mirroring the therapist's world
view, and adopting a retelling of their life story approved by the
therapist. Where we see former spiritual seekers turned psychiatric
patients telling highly scripted accounts of how they were "abused
by the cult," and where there is absolutely no evidence of such
abuse--where the real world data in fact indicates quite the
opposite--then we are right to conclude that these stories are
coming from the therapist, not the patient.
I recently had a chance to review some correspondence on these
issues. I was struck by the fact that in the thirty-five year
history of Sri Chinmoy Centre, no one has ever filed any complaint
of sexual abuse, child abuse, or anything of the sort. I guess that
laudable record would come as no surprise to the women participating
in this discussion. What is surprising is that there are people who
make their living advertising to parents that for a few thousand
dollars, they will perform a "cult intervention" which will "rescue"
their child from "abuse by the cult." It seems clear to me that
false tales of abuse serve as a marketing tool to sell such
"services." I consider this practice highly unethical, if not
downright illegal.
I hope this makes clear my reason for having asked the question "Is
Sri Chinmoy Centre a safe place for women?" And because women have
such strong nurturing and protective instincts toward children, I
would also like to expand my original question to the women: Is the
Sri Chinmoy Centre a safe place for children?
------------------------------------------------------------
#3312
From: nilima_silver
Date: Sat Mar 27, 2004 7:56 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
In answering the question about how my experiences as a student of
Sri Chinmoy have shaped my life, I am thinking back to the sixties
when I stumbled on Yoga and meditation before they were as
mainstream as they are today. I was desperately looking for
something to help me concentrate on my studies and cope with tension
in my senior year in high school. Yoga not only helped with stress
management, but opened doors to so much more, including the concept
of becoming closer to God--something previously foreign to me in my
atheistic upbringing.
One recurring theme in Sri Chinmoy's writings is that the spiritual
life is extremely practical. Indeed, I feel so fortunate to have
discovered the practical tools of faith, meditation and prayer as a
teenager, and they have helped me ever since to get through each day
with a little more poise, energy and joy. Needless to say, I am
extremely grateful for Sri Chinmoy's inner and outer teachings,
which have guided me and inspired me for over three decades in
efforts to better myself and, in my own small way, to make the world
a better place. And I am also grateful to have had the support of my
spiritual brothers and sisters, who have always been there for me,
whether it be in addressing day to day concerns, or in times of
crisis, such as the recent death of my father or my own
hospitalization from pneumonia a few months ago.
Which brings me to the last question--is the Sri Chinmoy Centre a
safe place for women? First, I think that this modern form of
spirituality offers a healthy and safe balance between our spiritual
and secular lives, with all of us living in our own homes or
apartments, having different jobs and activities, and maintaining
our financial independence. And in terms of receiving encouragement
and security from what has become my extended family, and benefiting
from the guidance of a very wise and compassionate Spiritual
Teacher, I would answer yes, a definite yes, a resounding yes!
------------------------------------------------------------
#3313
From: nayak_ltp
Date: Sat Mar 27, 2004 10:05 am
Subject: Nishtha's reply to "Question For The Women"
Dear Nishtha,
This reply was very inspiring to me. The replies themselves--yours,
plus those of the many other women who have replied--show the
independence, confidence, enthusiasm, spiritual commitment and self-
giving nature of the women in the Sri Chinmoy Centre. In addition to
the substantial content of the replies, the tone of each reply is
the best answer in itself.
#3320
From: tanima_ny
Date: Sat Mar 27, 2004 3:22 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
This is in response to the "Question for the Women," which caught my
eye and raised some issues on which I would like to share my views.
Perhaps it is best to first tell a little about myself. My name is
Tanima, and I have been a student of Sri Chinmoy for 36 years, since
February 1968, when I joined at the age of 20, in my last year of
college. Actually, my mom first joined Sri Chinmoy Centre and then
inspired me. She had heard about Sri Chinmoy from the publicist for
the Off-Broadway show she was performing in, and she joined in 1967.
I am fortunate to have been an integral member of Sri Chinmoy Centre
from the beginning, and have been deeply involved in the activities
of Sri Chinmoy and his students, mainly as a leader of singing
groups, teaching and performing his devotional songs. Since 1970, I
have lived in Jamaica, Queens, New York, which is the central
location of the Centre.
Now, to get to the question. The writer refers to the many abuses
women are subjected to in the outer world, and asks: "Is Sri Chinmoy
Centre a safe place for women?" The answer, of course, is an
unconditional "Yes."
Obviously, I can speak only from my own experience; however, that
experience has been long, extensive and comprehensive. It would be
impossible to be closely associated on an almost daily basis for 36
years with an organization and its leader, and not know the truest
nature of both on every level. I can unequivocally say that Sri
Chinmoy, his path and his disciples embody only the absolute highest
standards, not only of purity, but also of spirituality, morality
and integrity. I have never, ever once, in my thousands upon
thousands of interactions with either Sri Chinmoy or his male
disciples, personally been the recipient of, or witnessed, or even
heard of any abusively untoward, undivine or impure actions. (Let me
also say that even on a subtle plane, we women have a special inner
"antenna" when it comes to this. There is not a woman in the world
who wouldn't recognize a man's "vibe", look, innuendos or actions
that indicate his impure intentions.)
Sri Chinmoy is a spiritual Master of the highest principles, the
highest purity, and the deepest goodness, and his students reflect
this high standard in all that they do. The way both he and his male
students relate to the female students is always, under all
circumstances, on the purest level, following the ancient Eastern
spiritual traditions. To give a few examples: at all meditations and
functions, the women and men sit completely separately; women and
men do not ride together in a car, except perhaps for couples and
relatives; even when we perform spiritual plays, the women and men
rehearse in completely separate groups.
As far as the writer getting "the feeling that many women stick
close to Sri Chinmoy Centre because they feel protected there," for
myself--and I think for many of my longtime friends on the path--I
would not say that we stay in the Centre solely for this reason,
though the protection of our pure lifestyle is certainly an added
"plus." We stay because our lives have been transformed and continue
to be transformed for the better. We stay because Sri Chinmoy is
such a remarkable, elevated, and illumined spiritual Master who
teaches us how to bring forward and strengthen our very best
qualities, how to transcend our limitations and weaknesses, how to
aspire, pray and meditate, and become better citizens of the world.
The writer also speaks of people saying that women who choose the
spiritual life are "repressed." For myself, it is exactly the
opposite. Nothing could be more liberating than not to have to rely
on or answer to a male partner, or to be bound to the full-time,
almost lifelong responsibility of raising children. Don't
misunderstand me: many women are happy and fulfilled with such a
life. We need them in the world, and I do not look down upon them.
However, I could not be happier with the choice I have made--to lead
a dedicated spiritual life, a life which, thanks to my spiritual
Master, Sri Chinmoy, is fulfilled in unceasing self-transcendence.
I thank the author of the question, and thank all those who might
read this for the opportunity to share my views.
#3321
From: nemi_fredner
Date: Sat Mar 27, 2004 4:19 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
I am extremely fortunate to have been a student of Sri Chinmoy since
the age of 18. I am now 54. For 36 years I have been privileged to
receive Sri Chinmoy's illumined spiritual guidance and encouragement
in every aspect of my life.
As a woman on this path, I am able to cultivate my capacities and my
feminine qualities in a powerfully nurturing environment together
with my fellow students. I feel safe; I feel strong. In the Sri
Chinmoy Centre, I meditate, I sing, I write, I run, I organise
projects, I perform in plays, I travel and meet people from many
different cultures with remarkably similar aspirations. In the job I
have held in the so-called "outer world" for 27 years, I work hard
and interact cheerfully and harmoniously with my colleagues. Thanks
to Sri Chinmoy, the inner life and the outer life, for me, have
become seamless. There is no difference. The spiritual life is
everything, and everything in life is spiritual.
I know my goal, be it ever so far, and I know my way. Along the way,
opportunities reach out to me constantly, thanks to my spiritual
teacher. Every aspect of my life is tended to with utmost care and
concern. Sri Chinmoy has given me the most beautiful name--which
means sanctity, purity, sacredness--and he has given me the constant
encouragement to grow into these divine qualities. What more could I
ask from life? For all the blessings I have received, I am
profoundly grateful.
#3322
From: balarka_sa
Date: Sat Mar 27, 2004 11:46 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Dear Eta,
Reading your post brought to life a memory from a Joy weekend in
Wellington in November 1996 (not sure about the date). A few of us
had driven down from Auckland and quite a few people (including you)
had driven up from Christchurch and taken the ferry from Picton.
After the weekend was over, I distinctly remember how you went
around to every single person and thanked each one of us
individually. You were so incredibly grateful for the whole
experience. I remember thinking that it was as if you couldn't
really believe that what you had experienced was really true it
was as though the whole thing seemed like a dream and you fully
expected to wake up at any moment. It was a truly moving experience
to witness. Ever since then I have always had the utmost respect for
you the fact that you joined the Centre at the age of 53, and with
such enthusiasm and determination has always profoundly inspired me.
#3326
From: sundari_one
Date: Sat Mar 27, 2004 11:50 pm
Subject: Equality in the Sri Chinmoy Centres
I have been so inspired by every single one of the posts in answer
to the Question for the Women, including the last one from the
moderator. It was long, but I read every word! Thank you for your
eloquence.
I just wanted to mention another thing that I find interesting about
our Sri Chinmoy Centres and that is the lack of bias based on age.
We are a large family and many of us have known each other for
decades. Many other members are relatively recent additions to our
family. Yet each person is appreciated for his or her own good
qualities, regardless of age. Within our group we relate to each
other equally whether male or female, old or young. It makes no
difference. We seem to have an ageless feeling. We see each other as
just people, brothers and sisters, without the stereotypes of age
and gender that are so prevalent in the outer world.
Perhaps this is because many of us who are single don't have the
responsibilities of people in society to "grow up" and take on the
"adult" responsibilities of raising a family, etc. We still have a
childlike feeling of trust and faith in God and in our spiritual
father, Sri Chinmoy. It is such a precious gift to be able to keep
that childlike quality all our lives.
We are only as old as we feel!
In oneness,
--Sundari
------------------------------------------------------------
#3343
From: sunchia_nz
Date: Sun Mar 28, 2004 5:03 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Is the Sri Chinmoy Centre a safe place for women? Yes, since I
became a student of Sri Chinmoy this is the safest I have been in my
entire life. Here I find a spiritual freedom and a secure
environment to be who I truly am. The Sri Chinmoy Centre enables me
to be very much an individual, to strive for my inner life, and also
to be part of a wonderful, caring family.
The support and friendship shared with me is overwhelming, and as
the mother of a small child, I feel so much care and warmth. There
is a pureness here and simplicity that strengthens the soul, mind,
body and entire being. This is "living" safe. There are many
opportunities to embrace a healthy and balanced lifestyle.
Since being part of the Sri Chinmoy Centre, my life has changed
within and without, allowing me to let go of fear, to wake up, stand
tall and walk forward.
Sunchia Raphael
New Zealand
------------------------------------------------------------
#3344
From: stacey_auckland
Date: Sun Mar 28, 2004 5:43 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Without a doubt, being a student of Sri Chinmoy has positively
enhanced and enriched my life. With all the outer world problems
that we face, it is a relief to find a place where we are valued for
the beauty of our hearts. Race, religion and gender are, you could
say, 'left at the door'. Sri Chinmoy has created and inspired in his
Centres all around the world, a feeling of purity and a haven where
we as individuals can develop spiritually.
In my years in the Centre, I feel I have gained inner poise and
confidence that has assisted me in coping with the worldly problems
often faced in day-to-day life. I feel I am now seeing the world in
a new light, with more compassion, a feeling of oneness, a sense of
gratitude for what I have and what I am, and the passion to live
every day to its fullest. This process has not been one of adopting
somebody else's beliefs and attitudes, but one of self-discovery
through meditation, and being surrounded with positive people and a
positive environment in which to grow inwardly. This in turn has
flowed over into the attainment of a more harmonious and successful
outer life.
Most people I encounter are very positive about my choice of a
spiritual lifestyle. I find it reassuring that an increasing number
of people are gaining insight into the benefits of spirituality. It
seems that this understanding is becoming more mainstream, and that
people are realising that adding spirituality to the physical and
mental "diet" creates a life of purity, balance and harmony.
We as individual seekers may often fall short of the ideal as we
strive towards transforming and perfecting our nature. I personally
may not always be a perfect representative of the spiritual life,
but having spent time with Sri Chinmoy, I have never seen him fall
short in any area. He stands as a radiant example of pure and living
spirituality.
Sri Chinmoy came to the West 40 years ago, bringing with him a solid
foundation of 20 years of spiritual discipline in India. During his
youthful ashram years he lived a life of meditation and service,
enriched with sports and cultural activities.
Since that time, he has devoted himself to sharing his spiritual
experiences with Westerners. His life of complete dedication to
serving a higher cause must inevitably be valued by seekers far and
wide in the fullness of time. For those who do not personally know
Sri Chinmoy, his spiritual realisation and personal integrity are
crystal clear from his writings, which can be read at http://www.srichinmoy.org/ .
Yes, the Sri Chinmoy Centre is a safe place for women and children.
Unfortunately the world around us is not always safe. I live in hope
that one day the purity and beauty in the hearts of all the truth-
seekers and God-lovers of the world, no matter which spiritual path
they choose to follow, will spread and create a pure and safe world
for all of us to live in--a world where humanity can freely express
pure love and compassion, and live in oneness and harmony with each
other.
Stacey Marsh
New Zealand
------------------------------------------------------------
#3345
From: sudhirahay
Date: Sun Mar 28, 2004 6:21 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
This question about safety is one that I have never asked myself in
all the years I have been a student of Sri Chinmoy!
My mother joined Sri Chinmoy Centre when I was four years old.
Meditation and having a spiritual teacher have been utterly normal
things to me for as long as I can remember. Growing up in Sri
Chinmoy Centre does not mean you do not know the world, or are
separated from the world. I went to school, had friends, etc. In
fact, I was lucky in that the school I went to was rooted in another
spiritual tradition--so they understood and taught meditation to
every student who was interested. They let me meditate in the way I
was used to.
Since Sri Chinmoy's path advocates, among other things, a celibate
lifestyle, I would say that the only difference between myself and
my friends was my lack of interest in partying.
Seeing my friends go through some heavy-duty teenage stuff
(sometimes extending into their adult lives), I have always been
grateful that I did not have to follow that route to "feel alive".
The path offers enough challenges to keep me more than adequately
occupied, whether it is something relatively simple, like physical
fitness or learning songs, or something harder, like trying to face
and transform one's own undivine qualities. Sri Chinmoy's path, with
its clear criteria for leading a pure life, offers students the
ultimate safe environment for the world's hardest task: the
transformation of our human failings into positive strengths.
Recently, Sri chinmoy made an off-the-cuff comment that goes
something like this (I paraphrase): "The time will come when men
will sincerely appreciate the divine qualities of women, and women
will sincerely appreciate the divine qualities of men. At that time,
both will be able to make the fastest progress."
------------------------------------------------------------
#3349
From: nayak_ltp
Date: Mon Mar 29, 2004 1:13 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Dear Moderator,
Your new question is another good one. "Is the Sri Chinmoy Centre a
safe place for children?" I hope that some of the members of our
Centre who grew up with Sri Chinmoy will answer this--as well as the
women who raised them.
I would also say that all of us who have been in the Centre have
pretty rapidly become children in spirit, even at age 64; and while
safety is always there, joy is a much more lively presence.
#3376
From: sarada1007
Date: Tue Mar 30, 2004 6:44 am
Subject: The whole safety thing
I didn't respond to this question originally because I didn't really
feel that the issue of safety had much to do with my spiritual life
(I read the original post and just thought, 'huh?'). I actually
doubted it had much to do with anyone's spiritual life, although
subsequently the concept of safety has been interpreted in many
different ways. I can also see now that the reason I was not
interested in the question of safety is that it 'goes without
saying' that women (and also children and men) are completely safe
in the Sri Chinmoy Centres. It is such a non-issue that my brain
couldn't even really engage with the question.
Having said that, I cannot imagine that anybody would join a
spiritual group or stay within it primarily for that reason. There
are many other, much easier ways to stay safe in those terms and (if
you happen to be female) then, let's face it, getting married is
probably one of them! We all know that a lone female is less likely
to be hassled with a wedding ring on her finger, and so in some ways
being single makes you more vulnerable to the 'outside' world. The
real point here, however, is not to do with physical or even
emotional safety (which can easily be found elsewhere) but rather
the safety of the 'highest self'. Within the Sri Chinmoy Centres,
that part of us which seeks satisfaction in the highest and
absolutely most profound sense is provided with the ultimate safe
haven. This is surely one of the reasons why so many people (of both
sexes) choose to stay within it indefinitely.
------------------------------------------------------------
#3404
From: Kriyavati
Date: Wed Mar 31, 2004 11:28 am
Subject: gratitude to everyone
My heart and my soul just want to express my profound gratitude to
everyone for all the inspiration I am getting from reading all these
messages from all over the world. Every post has a new and different
inspiration-flavour. Thank you so much.
As a woman, I would like to say that being a student of Sri Chinmoy
brings more happiness into my life. It is a very safe environment
and every day brings new opportunities to become a better, stronger,
more confident and more independent person. This path has inspired
me to do things that keep me healthy through sports, arts and
specially through meditation and prayers. I find my life so
interesting with new goals, new challenges all the time, and very
often with solutions unpredicted and unexpected. (That makes it very
interesting!)
Sri Chinmoy is a real inspiration with his vivid examples of
transcendence. All my gratitude goes specially to him and to
everyone in our dearest familly who is trying to create a better
world to live in. I would add that it is a real privilege to be on
this path.
Love and gratitude to all,
Kriyavati, Montreal
------------------------------------------------------------
#3405
From: molingmonika
Date: Wed Mar 31, 2004 5:10 am
Subject: Re: Question for the women
Thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to express myself
on this important matter.
First of all, I would like to say that people (women and men) join
Sri Chinmoy's path because they feel an inner urge for spirituality
and the inner life. Many are not satisfied living the ordinary
material life because inside them are questions like "Who am I?",
"Where do I come from?", "What is the meaning of life?" or "Where
will I be after death?".
Since I was a child, I myself always liked to pray and speak to God.
I wondered why there is no school for the inner values in a world
where there are so many schools of different kinds. So finally
finding Sri Chinmoy's meditation school was like finding the school
I always wanted. Sri Chinmoy himself is the head of this school
because he has gone through all the lessons of the inner and outer
life, and so he knows how to teach others. I wish many more could
have the beautiful experience of his harmonious and loving
teachings. It is our own experience which is the real proof of the
God-consciousness Sri Chinmoy brings down.
Yes, it is true: in the centre we feel protected, for diverse
reasons both spiritual and practical. When we lead a spiritual life,
we pray to God and we meditate on God. We feel God's presence and
guidance, and we know He never abandons us. He protects us from
wrong forces. Leading a spiritual life, we dress in a modest way so
as not to cause wrong thoughts in others. Also, if women travel the
streets at night, Sri Chinmoy himself recommends that they travel in
a group of at least two or three (never alone). This is a
commonsense protection.
Sri Chinmoy's path offers an integral approach. With his method we
are working on all the five levels of ourselves: body, vital, mind,
heart and soul. We try to transform our limited nature into a more
fulfilling and liberating consciousness. Anything that disturbs us
we gradually tranform into its opposite positive quality. For
example, the lethargy of the body becomes action, the aggression of
the vital becomes dynamism, the doubt of the mind becomes faith, the
insecurity of the heart becomes certainty and the hidden soul
becomes our true experience.
So also, the lower vital forces (or sexual instincts) are not
"repressed," but rather transformed through meditation on the heart,
which brings us abundant purity. Through our love for God, we
transform our lower impulses into a higher energy we can use to
serve God in humanity. Of course, nothing is immediate. The
transformation of our nature takes time, so that is why we go to
school and have a teacher. We are all learning, and our goal is
constant progress.
#3415
From: anna_canberra
Date: Wed Mar 31, 2004 9:48 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Here is my response to your "Question For The Women".
International Women's Day fell close to a special day on our Centre
calendar, the anniversary of Sri Chinmoy's first marathon. Many
members of the Centre celebrated it by running a marathon on the
weekend of March 6/7. Especially with my 10th anniversary in the
Centre approaching, this gave me the opportunity to reflect on my
experience.
I joined the Sri Chinmoy Centre at 28 years of age in Sydney, not
with any particular problems in my outer life, but with a strong
sense that there must be more to life, and with an inner urge to
make more progress with meditation, which I had already begun to
practise.
The word "spirituality" was then a new word in my everyday
vocabulary; but as I continued to attend the sessions run by the
Centre, I embraced the spiritual life as it is lived by students of
Sri Chinmoy with the knowledge that there was no turning back for
me.
Why did I do this? I found that the Centre members had in common an
underlying sense of joy, peace, sincerity and purity. The group
meetings became the highlight of my week, a spiritual oasis in a
busy, modern, city life. Sri Chinmoy's teachings rang 100% true in
every atom of my being, and I found that all the questions I had
ever asked were being answered.
I must admit that when people started talking about running
marathons, I was of the belief that this was probably not for me. My
physical constitution has always been a little tempermental. But I
felt an inner urge to start running, so I gradually did. I would
never have imagined that not only would I go on to run marathons,
but also ultra- marathons. I was a member of the relay teams for the
Sri Chinmoy Oneness-Home Peace Run in three countries: Norway,
Australia, and the US.
While running to celebrate Sri Chinmoy's running career, the joy of
my own running memories--which is only one aspect of my life in the
Centre--revisited me. I was filled with gratitude for the tremendous
opportunities presented to me as a student of Sri Chinmoy. Anybody
who has been to a marathon can verify that women are badly
outnumbered on the field. Yet in the Centre, I have never felt like
a "minority", intimidated, or limited in what I can achieve. To the
contrary, I feel that limitations are to be challenged and
transcended.
So to say that the spiritual life is empowering is true. We live in
times where women have increased freedom to express themselves in
all facets of life, and I believe this relates to their spiritual
expression as well.
While it is true that I feel protected in the Centre, this is not
why I remain a member. It is the love, joy and peace that I feel
that keeps me close, and the protection comes part and parcel with
it.
In history, many virtuous people have been victims of ignorant and
undivine attitudes. Does this mean they should not be virtuous? Of
course not. If people misunderstand or criticise my spirituality,
then let them. It does not change who I am.
Returning to your question: I cannot comment on the cause of mental
sickness, but someone who has this pre-disposition would find solace
in spirituality because of the peace and joy that it brings, without
which destructive forces can surface in a more aggressive way.
So yes, Sri Chinmoy Centre is a safe place for women. As we devote
our lives to God, the Divine Grace protects and expands our lives.
------------------------------------------------------------
#3486
From: sushmitam_r
Date: Sat Apr 3, 2004 2:45 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Re: Qn For Women - therapy, Freud, false memory - reply to 3311
--Dear Moderator, thank you for your very detailed analysis of the
psychological factors at play in this whole issue of therapy and the
potential for false accusations towards spiritual groups. It is a
fascinating issue (to me as a psychologist anyway!) but also a
rather distasteful one to contemplate. Whenever I read in the papers
of this type of abuse supposedly occurring in a spiritual group, I
always keep an open mind about where the truth really lies. At any
rate, since you have expanded on some of the things I wrote in my
previous posting, I've decided to add a few comments.
I believe that the scenario you describe whereby a patient may come
to say that she has been abused by a spiritual group definitely
occurs. The process you describe is at the more gross end of
therapeutic irresponsibility, and readers may be shocked to realise
that this can happen. I have two main comments relating to this
issue. The first involves an elaboration of some of the more subtle
ways in which false accusations may arise. The second is an
explanation for how there can be such incredibly abusive therapy.
1.You elaborated on the psychological processes which may occur when
someone leaves a spiritual path - a path which they found positive,
but which challenged aspects of their nature which they chose not to
transform. I think in my original posting I emphasised the grief
involved in leaving, and you have quite rightly identified guilt as
another factor. You emphasised guilt in relation to the spiritual
teacher and friends on the path. I would also add that I think there
is enormous guilt in relation to the self in such cases. A person
who has found great love and light through a spiritual path, but
cannot bear to give up old ways, is at some level aware that they
are betraying their own highest self or soul. How could such a
person possibly bear the knowledge of this self-betrayal? One way is
to make the group or the Guru 'bad' in their mind. I think this
helps us to understand the process you describe (which might
otherwise seem an unlikely scenario) whereby a patient ends up
agreeing with what are basically lies put forward by the therapist.
The therapist's suggestion of abuse helps the patient to resolve the
internal conflict of leaving something which has been positive, so
she is willing to take these lies onboard.
Importantly though, in my opinion, false memories and accusations of
abuse can also arise directly from the patient, without therapist
suggestion. How could it be that a patient comes up with her own
lies - and believes them?? Surely just needing to find a way of
dealing with the inner conflict arising from leaving a spiritual
group would not be enough to produce such lies! To understand this
phenomenon, we can obtain a little help from an old friend of mine,
Sigmund Freud! (Yes I know Freud is out of date, and overemphasised
the role of the sexual impulse in everything, but some of his ideas
are still very relevant. Bear with me!)
Freud discovered, to his absolute amazement, that some of his female
patients were falling in love with him and expecting or believing
that he too would love them! What on earth was going on?? He
eventually came to the understanding that patients project onto
their therapist many unresolved desires and impulses, and that they
do this completely unconsciously. This process of projection (or
transference, as it is called in the therapy context) can be
observed in all sorts of relationships. It is accentuated in the
type of therapy Freud advocated, where the therapist does not give
much away about himself personally, so the patient, in the absence
of any clues to the contrary, projects onto the 'blank slate' of the
therapist all sorts of issues, which are then used by the therapist
as information about the patient. (A simplistic example: someone who
grew up with parents who were constantly angry with her, easily
expects anger, and so will come to believe her therapist is angry
with her even when he is not.)
Interestingly, this phenomenon is common in the spiritual life,
particularly when there is a Guru involved. A spiritual seeker,
hoping for transformation, will project on the Guru all sorts of
emotions, hopes and desires, some consciously and some
unconsciously. To use the example I gave above, a seeker who has
unresolved problems with anger, may feel that her Guru is angry with
her, even when he is not.
A Guru like Sri Chinmoy offers inner guidance to thousands of
seekers, and helps them in their meditation; but he cannot possibly
become personally involved in all the details of each person's life.
If a seeker projects her desires on the Guru, there may be little
opportunity to "talk it out." The seeker is responsible for
maintaining the right attitude. Hopefully, through meditation and
perhaps some reality checking with others, she will come to see how
she expects anger much of the time, and because of this she is blind
to the spiritual love that her Guru is inwardly expressing. I have
frequently observed this phenomenon at play amongst Sri Chinmoy's
students, and usually it is all part of the transformation process
and has a positive outcome.
Now if this process of projection by the seeker includes sexual or
aggressive impulses, as it did with Freud, and the seeker leaves
before these are transformed, the misperceiving of the Guru can lead
to accusations of abuse of various sorts. In this case, the person
actually sees and experiences her own impulses as being those of the
Guru. It then requires a much smaller slip in perception of reality
for such a person to believe that a Guru has behaved in an abusive
manner. Unfortunately, the line between sanity and madness is not as
clear as most people believe - as anyone working in the
psychological field will affirm!
2. Now to the issue of how on earth there can be such irresponsible
and abusive therapists! This is truly an appalling state of affairs,
and is largely due to the training or lack thereof in the therapy
profession. I'm not sure how therapy training and legislation works
in the USA, but the problem is very clear in Australia. For
starters, anyone at all, without one day of training, or any
psychological insight, can hang up a shingle outside an office and
describe themselves as "counsellor", "therapist" or
"psychotherapist". These titles have no legal requirements attached
to them!
Then there are psychiatrists. In Australia, their training is first
a medical degree, then postgraduate specialisation in psychiatry,
which is largely training on the use of psychiatric medication. They
get almost no training in the talking side of things. This is fine
if they stick to prescribing and adjusting medication, which many of
them do. However others dabble in counselling or therapy with no
extra training - as do ordinary doctors here.
Now to psychologists! I am one of these. I can confidently say that
in a basic psychology degree here in Australia, one can gain high
marks solely on the basis of investigating animal behaviour (e.g.,
pigeons). After this, one is let loose to practice on people - at
first under supervision, and then on one's own. This is another
recipe for therapeutic disaster!
Many people in the helping professions choose to get extra training
(thank God!), but it is not required by their professional body, and
is of varying quality. In my opinion, to be effective, any training
in this area MUST require the trainee to undergo therapy him or
herself. Otherwise, aspects of the therapist's own personality,
which are unrecognised, will be projected onto the patients. The
best therapists that I have come across have all had this type of
training. Certainly some therapists are more gifted than others, but
the worst case scenarios you describe occur due to a lack of proper
training.
As I said in my previous posting, I was very fortunate myself to
have a therapist who was full of integrity and understanding and was
very well trained. He freely admitted to me that he had no firsthand
experience in the area of spirituality, but he was very respectful
of my experience and had no agenda of his own in relation to the
lifestyle and beliefs I came to adopt.
Well! Never did I imagine that I would find myself posting on such a
psychologically convoluted topic on this site! The spiritual life is
always full of surprises!
With gratitude
Sushmitam
------------------------------------------------------------
#3575
From: Sara in Italy
Date: Wed Apr 7, 2004 2:24 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Being a Sri Chinmoy student means, for me, such a beautiful
experience that cannot be described by words. If I only think about
it, my heart becomes full of pure joy. I feel I finally arrived to
my "safe part" in order to start my fruitful path in pure safety and
trust, together with many beautiful people.
I didn't even think such beautiful people could exist, and being in
constant contact with them brought so much joy and inspiration in my
life. I live in Italy and I started on Sri Chinmoy's path only three
years ago, but my life has totally changed for the better Already
after the first year I saw so many changes in myself. I feel I am
changing and constantly bettering myself.
There is nothing strange or "mysterious" in following a spiritual
path under the guidance of a Master. We are not extraterrestrials or
people who need psychiatric help. We are just ordinary people who
somehow received an "inner call" or an inspiration to look after
something inside ourselves, because the outer life alone could not
satisfy our needs. Or, simply, someone met some students of Sri
Chinmoy: they are optimistic, joyful and full of peace, sweetness,
balance, determination, eagerness, sincerity, purity and other
beautiful qualities that cannot often be observed in the majority of
people. I was one of those average people. Absolutely not better.
Nobody would even think that I could one day receive such joy in
practising the spiritual life.
Spiritual life is not the punishing life that everybody expects.
When we sincerely pray and meditate and we try to do what our heart
tells us, we look at life, people, trees and the world in a
different way. We experience true joy inside and the people around
feel it, because our eyes are beaming, smiling at the world and the
world feels something beautiful and gets inspiration, even if
unconsciously. I can see in my everyday life that the small
vibration of peace and happiness I offer touches the hearts of
others. I work in a shop and often speak with people who do not
practice any spiritual life. They could seem impolite and stressed
out--but every one of them can reveal his or her own best qualities
with a little care, politeness and happiness. I do not make any
effort, I am just happy at last, and people just feel it and smile.
I can get so much peace and joy on this path. I deeply feel Sri
Chinmoy's protection, guidance, help and presence.
Our soul can guide our life. We are used to hearing messages from
our mind, but we consciously make mistakes and have negative
experiences. Not so when following the dictates of our soul.
Everybody has a soul, but very rarely can people catch it's
messages. A spiritual Master, who has already discovered the power
of his own soul by completing his own journey, can help us feel what
is best to do in our lives according to our soul's needs. Behaving
in the proper way and also following our "good sense," we can
overcome many obstacles.
I feel very happy and safe in the Sri Chinmoy Centre. These are not
words coming from blind trust to someone or something, but from a
clear and sure inner feeling, and from personal experiences I have
had which gave answers to my inner doubts.
On this path we learn to listen to our heart and soul, which we can
begin to understand in small measure as intuition. Intuition is not
mental information, it is certainty of the truth. We get a flash of
intuition, and we discover it was really true. The heart knows this
truth in an instant because it identifies with the truth. But the
mind puts us through many trials and doubts, and at times can act
like an enemy if we give it too much power in the wrong way.
As for the moderator's idea that spiritual sickness leads to mental
sickness... I think that spirituality and mental illness go in
opposite directions. Real spirituality goes through the heart. By
meditating on the heart we get peace, understanding, love and a
feeling of oneness with the rest of the world. The mind separates
us, makes us feel ourselves as better than others, and makes us
behave as egoists, to get more power over others.
The wrong way to understand or conceive of a certain religion is to
fail to follow feelings of oneness, brotherhood and love for each
other. This way uses the mind for its power goals. This explains the
fears of some parents and relatives who do not know how different
Sri Chinmoy Centre is from what they imagine. Our path is based on
love, care, understanding and the transformation of many negative
qualities (egoism, aggressivity, etc.).
We follow the path of the heart because the joy of the heart is not
defeated by these negative qualities. Of course, this does not mean
that Sri Chinmoy's students do not use the mind. If the mind can be
guided by the spiritual heart, then it acts in the correct way. The
heart always knows what is right and how to get to it. We are all
equal before God, and all of us have this wonderful opportunity to
progress, because each of us has the spiritual heart, and the
beautiful soul within.
Sri Chinmoy's path has been and is for me a wonderful opportunity to
evolve and better myself, to listen to my inner voice. I faced and
overcame without particular efforts many experiences which three
years ago I would have considered as impossible for me. My
determination and willingness increased--and most important, I am
learning to listen to my inner voice.
I am so certain about that, I feel it so strongly, that I simply do
not care about what others think or say. I am sure that if they only
could feel what I am feeling, they would never doubt my new way of
life. I like so much Sri Chinmoy's path. I rightly feel I am the
most fortunate person on Earth.
#3603
From: prachar_1
Date: Fri Apr 9, 2004 8:56 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Dear Moderator,
You have tackled a complex and difficult subject, and shone a
searchlight of pure understanding into what is at best a dense
forest, and at worst a putrid quagmire that has engulfed the lives
of many. That you stride confidently where many fear to tread is a
testament to your courage and the powerful conviction that impels
you.
I am astonished that you are familiar with the writing of Richard
Guilliatt, an authority whose work was also cited in a court case in
Canberra, Australia--a case where the insidious nature of so-called
'recovered memory' was fully exposed, and the devastating
consequences of false tales of abuse on the lives of innocent people
was amply demonstrated.
I am grateful also that you have quoted from Sushmitam's incisive
posting on this subject. I found particular resonance in her
comments about the need to turn all one's good memories into bad in
order to deal with the grief of leaving a spiritual community:
"I remember an experience I had when I was quite new on the path a
year or two perhaps. I was overwhelmed by the love, the peace and
the experiences of God that I had gained on the path, but at the
same time was struggling with some of the lifestyle aspects of the
path. I realised at this time that my positive experiences far
outweighed my struggles and that I definitely did not want to leave
the path. However in dealing with this struggle, I came to the
realisation that if anything ever pulled me away from the path, the
only way I would be able to bear to leave, would be to destroy in my
mind all the positive experiences I had gained otherwise the grief
of leaving would be completely overwhelming. Everything good would
have to be made bad, everything pure made impure, in order to
justify to myself such an action."
Sushmitam's testimony is the fruit of deep and sincere inner
reflection. (Some truths cannot be counterfeited.) Interestingly and
eerily, her words bear a close resemblance to some spoken to me
twenty years ago by a former mentor on this path, one who was later
to enact, puppet-like, the truth of his own prescient words.
So to return to the original writer: Your contribution in this field
is truly invaluable. You are literally helping to save lives.
#3611
From: ckgaparajita
Date: Sat Apr 10, 2004 10:14 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
The moderator wrote:
"Yet, social scientists who have studied the data have concluded
that people who join religious movements tend to do so in response
to deeply felt spiritual needs--often after a period in which they
were dissatisfied with the quality of their spiritual life. This is
certainly borne out by the women's stories in this thread."
It is also borne out by my own experience. When I first became a
student of Sri Chinmoy, my parents -- as many do -- thought I had
fallen into a dangerous trap, that there must have been something
"wrong" with me that compelled me to join this "group."
So, figuring I was a poor 18-year-old who had lost his way, they
sent me to a well-known psychologist who specialized in teenage
problems. He was a very nice man. I showed him some of Guru's books,
which he read. I told him what our path was about (or at least what
I understood of it after a few months) and what our spiritual
practice was.
After a few visits, he had made his analysis and met with me and my
parents. I shall never, ever forget that meeting; it is forever
etched in my consciousness! It went something like this:
Psychologist: First of all, Mr. and Mrs. X, I want to start by
saying that your son is a perfectly normal, well-adjusted boy of 18.
I give him a completely clean bill of health.
Parents: We don't doubt that, Doctor, but what we want to know is
why he felt the need to join this group?
Psychologist: Instead of answering that question, why don't we
answer this question: why did you feel the need to send him to me,
just because he decided to join a spiritual group? All of us seek
the Truth in our own way. Some people seek the Truth more
vociferously than others. [I remember so vividly he used the word
"vociferously".] Your son happens to be one of those people. I see
absolutely no harm either in his search for the Truth or in the path
he has chosen to follow.
God bless that psychologist! He really saved me. More than that, he
proved that there are good psychologists out there who really
understand human nature from a broad point of view.
#3730
From: srichinmoyinspiration
Date: Thu Apr 22, 2004 2:18 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
I will soon post the digest of the discussion topic "Question For
The Women" from the Sri Chinmoy Inspiration Group, March/April 2004.
This will be Version 2 of the digest, containing all the messages
published so far (through April 21). The URL will be:
I was deeply moved by the outpouring of responses to the question.
The women are being very gracious in taking time out from their busy
schedules. I hope I will not be accused of keeping them from their
prayers, meditations, careers and families if I say that I have
further comments and questions.
I hope to follow up soon. For now, I would just like to express my
gratitude to all who are posting. You are providing a rich source of
information about Sri Chinmoy Centre which was hitherto unavailable.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I hope also that in speaking up honestly about their lives, none of
the women have experienced undue hardship. Where anti-cult groups
email the women links to pornographic material, I really feel this
is a crime, and deserves to be treated as a crime. Even if the
person doing it is mentally ill, still you would think he would show
some conscience. But perhaps for some people, that's what mental
illness is--a loss of conscience, and a loss of empathy for those
whom they once loved, and who once tried to help them overcome their
lifelong problems.
Sometimes a spiritual teacher has to be part psychologist, part
social worker--even music therapist! It is well known that those in
the helping professions run the greatest risk of being cyberstalked.
Over the years, Sri Chinmoy has done much outreach work with
troubled youth. He has helped many people turn their lives around;
but I think for some people it's still a daily battle to live a
decent life. Sometimes, even after twenty years or more of fighting
the good fight, a person relapses into solipsistic behavior, such as
problems with drugs and alcohol (or just plain brute selfishness).
Then they may lash out at someone they once loved--someone who
honestly tried to help them. They try to hang on to a former mentor
in a troubled way, by stalking him on the Internet. It seems that
anti-cult groups encourage this kind of felonious activity.
According to information found at:
some of the methods used by cyberstalkers to harass their victims
include:
- Creating websites about the victim to attack or harass them
- Posting in a newsgroup or on an online discussion forum or
discussion board to attack the victim
- Accusing the victim of paedophilia to incite harassment of the
victim
Cyber-stalking.net is a resource you can use to learn more about
online safety. Where an online service turns a blind eye to
harassment and stalking behavior, as a last resort it may be
necessary to file a police report.
There is something noble in the sacrifices made by the women telling
their personal stories; for in doing so, they are joining in the
same outreach work which has earned Sri Chinmoy a reputation as a
saint among thousands of people who were crying for a better life,
but who did not feel they had the tools to change their lives until
they learned meditation under his silent gaze.
Those who have received inner awakening and have begun their
spiritual journey sometimes find that the world is ready to devour
them with its suspicion. In following the age-old spiritual counsel
to be pure of heart and childlike in spirit, they may find that they
are mocked and set upon, and that they must be as lambs among
wolves.
I applaud the women for their courage, and hope they will continue
to speak out on issues of concern. Their innocence and purity speaks
volumes about their character, and the character of their teacher.
When people read their stories, I think that a process of slow,
careful reflection will begin, and this will help lead many people
to a deeper understanding.
I believe that in leading a pure life, the women bring forth a
special inner beauty which is unparalleled, and which inspires
everyone whose hearts they touch. This beauty is on the inner plane,
and therefore is eternal and immortal. There is so much beauty on
Sri Chinmoy's path, and this beauty is born of purity and
innocence--qualities which the women have demonstrated in ample
measure, in addition to their strength and courage. I thank them
once again.
Assistant Moderator
------------------------------------------------------------
Below is Part B of the discussion topic "Question For The Women"
from the Sri Chinmoy Inspiration Group, March/April 2004.
In message #3731, I tried to post the complete Version 2 digest, but
it appears to be too large for a single posting. So, the two parts
are:
Part A (54 messages from #3032 to #3273)
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration/message/3731
Part B (26 messages from #3276 to #3730)
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration/message/3732
I hope discussion will continue, but this seems like a good time to
take a deep breath and collect what has already been said. It is an
amazing record!
I'm extremely grateful to the women for taking the time and effort
to make their feelings known. You are not just helping each other,
but also raising the consciousness of the men in Sri Chinmoy Centre,
and providing valuable primary source material about the daily lives
of spiritual seekers.
All gratitude,
Assistant Moderator
-------------------
Question For The Women - Digest Version 2 - Part B - Message List
(#3032 - Moderator Question)
#3276 - Anami
#3290 - Hladini
#3291 - Paramita
#3297 - Devaki
#3300 - Sugandha
#3310 - Nishtha
#3311 - Moderator Comment
#3312 - Nilima
#3313 - Nayak
#3320 - Tanima
#3321 - Nemi
#3322 - Balarka
#3326 - Sundari
#3343 - Sunchia
#3344 - Stacey
#3345 - Sudhira
#3349 - Nayak
#3376 - Sarada
#3404 - Kriyavati
#3405 - Monika
#3415 - Anna
#3486 - Sushmitam
#3575 - Sara in Italy
#3603 - Prachar
#3611 - Aparajita
#3730 - Moderator Comment
MESSAGES
#3032
From: srichinmoyinspiration
Date: Fri Mar 19, 2004 2:28 am
Subject: Question For The Women
March 8th was International Women's Day. We failed to mark the
event, but I'm thinking maybe we should have. I would like to ask
the women how their experience as students of Sri Chinmoy has shaped
their lives.
We see that in the outer world, there are so many problems with
rape, abuse, and harassment. I get the feeling that many women stick
close to Sri Chinmoy Centre because they feel protected there.
Sometimes in the outer world, people make fun of women who choose
the spiritual life, saying they are "repressed" and other unkind
things. But I once heard an interview with a woman who said she felt
empowered by living the spiritual life, and that the role of women
in mainstream society has become vulgarized.
Sometimes in life, those who are most virtuous are taunted by those
who are most wicked, and those who are most innocent are victimized
by those who are most guilty of wrongdoing. Recently, Johnji posted
a poem by Sri Chinmoy called A Life of Innocence. At the time, it
struck me that one reason people are often moved to tears when they
meditate with Sri Chinmoy is that the consciousness he brings down
is one which is completely pure and innocent - so much so that it
brings forth what is pure and innocent in us, and cleans away all
our impurities, like a mother bathing her children.
A painful reality of life is that what is most pure and innocent is
often what is attacked by people who have become troubled. I do not
fully understand it - except that maybe spiritual sickness leads to
mental sickness.
Sometimes it seems that in the outer world, people have many strange
ideas. They think that because someone prays and meditates and joins
in the life of a spiritual community, that means they are "abused."
Also, it seems that if someone leaves a spiritual group and later
enters into therapy, there is tremendous pressure on them to conform
to negative stereotypes about "cults." In some cases, they seem to
make up ridiculous stories designed to please their therapist. Maybe
this is one reason there is so much confusion about spiritual
groups.
I would love to gain some enlightenment from the women on these
issues. Let me play devil's advocate: Is Sri Chinmoy Centre a safe
place for women?
I Think I Love You
God, I think I love You.
"Daughter, what is the proof?"
God, this is the proof:
You know, God,
I do not live with ignorance
Anymore;
I do not play with doubt
Anymore;
I do not cry with fear
Anymore;
I do not eat with jealousy
Anymore;
I do not dance with despair
Anymore.
"Daughter, enough.
You love Me
And
I love you.
Be happy. Remain happy."
-Sri Chinmoy
------------------------------------------------------------
#3276
From: anami2708
Date: Thu Mar 25, 2004 12:25 pm
Subject: Question for the women
All of you expressed yourself in an outstanding and unique way. It
would be worth making a book out of it.
For me, the question if I am feeling safe in the Sri Chinmoy Centres
never arose, because I totally felt like I was coming back home to
my real inner family when I became a student of Sri Chinmoy 16 years
ago.
I grew up in an tiny village in the Bavarian Alps, with skiing and
climbing in the high mountains which I knew very well - very often I
was sitting on the mountaintops watching the silent sunset. At these
precious moments I often cried out inwardly: "Where are you, who are
living (not just preaching) this kind of pure, spiritual, honest
life with the high ethical values I am looking for? Where are you O
brothers and sisters of this beautiful world, who really want to
leave this world better than you found it, who really want to grow
and mature in the inner life? Where are you....striving for the
impossible, to reach the highest of your capacities and
possibilities and consciously raise the human standard of life by
your living example?...where are you?"
For a long time there was no answer (I was about 15-16 years old).
Then in 1987 I met miraculously with Sri Chinmoy at a delightful,
heart-opening concert in Freiburg - and so my journey finally began.
It was like coming home. Meeting Sri Chinmoy and his students made
me feel really comfortable and at ease - at your real home you
always feel safe - not one thought was squandered about safety. It
is also said that you will recognize a real Master by his "fruits" -
by what he brings to the fore in his words and deeds, and of course
by the character of his students. Naturally we are all far from
being perfect - but there is an immense hunger for progress, and
loving respect for all beings on earth. And in the meantime, I know
quite a few human jewels of brothers and sisters on our path.
I am truly proud of each one of you - my brothers and sisters all
over the world - for you are taking the challenge day by day as the
real inner heroes of life, and I feel honoured and heartfully happy
to share this unique life-road with you. ...
With joyfully beaming gratitude
Anami
------------------------------------------------------------
#3290
From: Hladini
Date: Fri Mar 26, 2004 6:13 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
I would like to respond to the question about safety. Having had the
incredible privilege of being in the Sri Chinmoy Centre for three
decades, I can confirm that the Centre is indeed a safe place for
women. This path gives full respect and responsibility to both
genders. Good qualities such as gentleness, courtesy, strength and
purity are encouraged among all Centre members, so the women do not
have to suffer from the patronization and base macho behaviour so
prevalent among Western males. Nor do we have to play coy games of
flirtation and manipulation to gain position or prestige. Far from
being 'repressed', the women in our Centre feel very free to be
themselves, to steadily transcend their own limitations and to
develop their individual capacities.
Meditating and following the teachings of Sri Chinmoy has enabled me
to grow far beyond the tremendous fear, frustration, helplessness
and confusion that governed my early years, and to reach a joyful
understanding of life as a vast field for making personal progress
and for serving God and humanity.
Quite simply, being in the Sri Chinmoy Centre makes me increasingly
happy and poised. I cannot now imagine being confined to the
'normal' life of most other women, who follow the status quo and
look for satisfaction only in relationships, careers and material
possessions. I love my life of prayer and meditation, and I thank
God for the blessing of having an enlightened Master and a worldwide
family of aspiring brothers and sisters.
Hladini
Kingston, Canada
------------------------------------------------------------
#3291
From: Paramita
Date: Fri Mar 26, 2004 5:55 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
As a member of the Sri Chinmoy Centre for almost 30 years, I feel
and have always felt completely and totally safe. I am accepted and
respected as a whole person--including my intellectual self and my
emotional self, but most importantly my spiritual self.
Here we are a very large international family of spiritual brothers
and sisters. This is a family striving for the ideal in inter-
relationships based on respect for the very best, the highest in
each individual. The essential goodness, the genuine love of God and
the service to God in humanity is what is valued in each person,
whether they are male or female. Every person receives tremendous
support and encouragement in their own journey to becoming the best
possible citizen of this world that they can be.
There is no discrimination based on gender, race, religion or
nationality. Abuse of anyone--male or female--is out of the
question.
Paramita
Kingston, Canada
------------------------------------------------------------
#3297
From: devakigroulx
Date: Fri Mar 26, 2004 10:58 am
Subject: gratitude for so much inspiration
To all the posters worldwide--thanks so much for sharing your ideas,
poems, projects and writings of Sri Chinmoy.
Normally my readings are full of boring work-related
(stress-inducing) information. It's such a joy to read all your
inspiring ideas. I feel like I'm getting my 'reading' done online
with so many excerpts of Sri Chinmoy's writings being posted.
As I said before, all the womens' offerings have been a joy to read,
and I agree with someone who said it would make a great book!
I am going to encourage other members of my Centre to join the group
and hopefully post some of their own thoughts, feelings and
inspirations.
A note to our sisters and brothers in NZ and Australia: We admire
your oneness and dedication! You are so far away physically, but
spiritually, so connected and in tune with Sri Chinmoy and his hopes
for all of us to realize the Eternal Truths. Every time I see any of
you in N.Y. (having taken that long gruelling trip myself), I admire
you so much. You are always ready to serve, and always seem so
cheerful in spite of the jet lag!!.
Love and oneness,
Devaki
------------------------------------------------------------
#3300
From: Sugandha
Date: Fri Mar 26, 2004 3:59 pm
Subject: response to the question on women
When I first encountered Sri Chinmoy's writing, I found his words
both inspiring and comforting. Not only was his vision for the
individual seeker, but for the whole world. If these truths were
lived, then there was truly hope for beauty and justice, peace,
love, compassion and freedom for all.
Many years later, I find that my moments of true happiness and
clarity come during meditation. I wish that everyone were able to
avail him or herself of this.
On this path, every individual--man or woman--is encouraged and
inspired to reach his or her own goals, and in doing so contributes
to the joy and inspiration of all his or her fellow seekers. There
is a feeling of family, with the protection and support that goes
with it. It is also very interesting to meet people from so many
different countries that have so much in common.
All that being said, being in the Sri Chinmoy Centre is no escape.
It is a chance to discover the real, to face one's own weaknesses,
and to grow into a way of living which is both inwardly fulfilling
and outwardly creative. It is a tremendous blessing.
Sugandha,
Montreal, Canada
------------------------------------------------------------
#3310
From: nishtha_nyc
Date: Sat Mar 27, 2004 7:03 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
A few thoughts in response to your question about women's experience
in the Sri Chinmoy Centre:
I personally came to the Centre at the age of 20 years. Now 32 years
later, I can answer with the strongest affirmation that the Sri
Chinmoy Centre is a very, very safe place for women--and men! (My
sister also joined Sri Chinmoy's path 32 years ago, some months
after I did.)
I was trying to read between the lines, trying to understand what
you were referring to when you asked if women are safe in the
Centre. Were you referring to the rape, abuse and harassment of
women that you mentioned? These issues just have absolutely nothing
to do with life in the Centre--thank God!--so much so that I am
still trying to be sure that was part of your question to us female
Centre members. The Sri Chinmoy Centre is a spiritual place where
men and women come to pray and meditate. It is not a place for
social life or sexual relationships. The people who join the Centre
know that from the time they join, and they have happily chosen this
modest lifestyle.
Maybe there are other meanings to your question about being safe?
Might I say that women members of the Centre are not only safe, but
also happy. I do not think there is a single female student of Sri
Chinmoy who came to his spiritual path just to be "safe" as you are
suggesting. Those who came to Sri Chinmoy to study did so because
they feel a need to improve their lives and progress as individuals
towards their own highest potential. This aspiration is not a
gender-related issue; it is a common spiritual pursuit. This is a
path of self-discovery and self-transformation. The Sri Chinmoy
Centre provides a very positive atmosphere for individuals to evolve
into the very best they can become. The Centre is like a warm family
where people treat one another appreciatively and respectfully like
brothers and sisters. Women play leadership roles in the worldwide
Centres, as do men. Many of us have established our own private
businesses (my sister and I, for example, have operated a vegetarian
restaurant since 1974). We women participate in sports events, art
and music events and community events on an equal basis with the
male members of the Centre. The truth is that we do not particularly
need to celebrate International Women's Day. Why? Because it is
already an integral part of our daily Centre lives. Women are
encouraged and appreciated in the Sri Chinmoy Centre on a daily
basis. They must also bear responsibilities and face all the same
challenges of a busy, modern-day life that the male members do.
I wonder if there is some confusion about spirituality itself. The
spiritual life is not intended to be an escape from practical,
responsible life or from society. On the contrary, men and women
alike in the Sri Chinmoy Centre are encouraged to be active,
responsible adults.
I do believe that in some countries where Women's Day is a more
popular holiday, such as the former Soviet Union, Serbia and
Montenegro, it is observed in the Centres. Where I am located in
the U.S.A., Women's Day is not such a widely popular holiday.
Women are by nature--their highest nature--sweet, soft, tender and
self-giving, but that does not mean they have to be in a position of
being taken advantage of. Women also have fortitude, strength and
patience. The time has come for women to bravely and sincerely
accept the spiritual life--the life of prayer, meditation and
selfless service--so we can transform our weaknesses and strengthen
our positive qualities. I have never met anyone who encourages women
to do so more than Sri Chinmoy.
- Nishtha
Jamaica, New York
------------------------------------------------------------
#3311
From: srichinmoyinspiration
Date: Sat Mar 27, 2004 11:30 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Thank you to all the women who are sharing their feelings and
experiences. There seems to be quite a bit of interest in this
topic.
I realize now that some women couldn't even believe I was asking the
question about safety in the Centre. They could not imagine I was
asking about rape, abuse and harassment of women, since--judging by
their responses--these things simply do not occur in the Centre.
By way of apology, I can only say that sometimes there's a
disconnect between the pure life led by spiritual seekers, and the
way they are depicted outside their own communities. One of the
reasons I started this topic is that I was asking myself: "Who has
the right to define spiritual seekers? Do they get to define
themselves? Or do they get defined and labeled by others?"
I think sometimes there are others who try and usurp the right of
spiritual seekers to define themselves. I am glad that the women of
Sri Chinmoy Centre are speaking out with their own voices, claiming
the right to have their own lives and own stories speak for
themselves. In my opening question I wrote:
"Sometimes it seems that in the outer world, people have many
strange ideas. They think that because someone prays and meditates
and joins in the life of a spiritual community, that means they are
"abused." Also, it seems that if someone leaves a spiritual group
and later enters into therapy, there is tremendous pressure on them
to conform to negative stereotypes about "cults." In some cases,
they seem to make up ridiculous stories designed to please their
therapist. Maybe this is one reason there is so much confusion about
spiritual groups."
I would like to follow up on some issues raised by Sushmitam in
connection with her years of experience as a psychotherapist. She
implied that there is such a thing as "good therapy" and "bad
therapy." I believe this to be very true.
In therapy, patients are often concerned with creating a narrative
truth for past events--one they can live with. A narrative truth is
not a literal truth, it is a retelling of the story of one's life.
The patient and the therapist reach an agreement about how the story
should be told, and the emphasis is not always on what is literally
true, but on what will make the patient "feel better"--or in some
cases, what will satisfy the therapist's psychological theories or
ideological convictions.
Gifted therapists don't allow their patients to adopt a narrative
which is a mere stereotype, which drastically alters reality, or
which unfairly demonizes third parties. Unfortunately, many bad
therapists will encourage precisely that, particularly those with an
ideological bias (such as anti-cultism).
People who have the misfortune of hooking up with an anti-cult
therapist may be told that they adopted spiritual practice due to
psychological frailties, bad parenting, an unhappy love affair, or
"cult mind control." Yet, social scientists who have studied the
data have concluded that people who join religious movements tend to
do so in response to deeply felt spiritual needs--often after a
period in which they were dissatisfied with the quality of their
spiritual life. This is certainly borne out by the women's stories
in this thread.
Sushmitam, you were talking about how people following a spiritual
path eventually have to confront their personal issues, and how
sometimes that's the point at which they leave. Maybe they received
abundant light and love which touched them to the very core of their
being, but something in their nature wanted to cling to their old
life. So they leave. Then, what is their experience? I have been
studying this issue, and I would like to share some observations.
At first they may promise themselves that they will remain faithful
"in their hearts" to the gifts they received. But when they are away
from spiritual practice, gradually they may lose that sense of
connectedness. They may feel a bit lost in the secular world, and
also guilty about having abandoned their faith. In some cases, they
may turn to drugs and alcohol. Eventually, they may seek the help of
a therapist.
This is a pivotal point. Such a person does not have a "cult
problem," they have an adjustment problem. A really good therapist
would see this. But if they get a bad therapist, especially one
allied with the anti-cult movement, then they will be told they are
"victims of cult abuse."
The patient may argue, "No, no, I was never abused. In fact, I was
shown tremendous love and kindness. If anything, I feel really
guilty about having let down my teacher and my friends, and having
failed to achieve my personal goals." But the therapist may say:
"All 'cults' and 'cult leaders' are the same. They are all abusers.
You must have been abused, I know you were. I want you to read these
books about 'cult' abuse. Then I want you to think about all the
ways you were abused and write them down in a journal. Remember, I
can't help you until you admit you were abused. Then you have to get
angry at the 'cult leader.' Once you start showing signs of
'progress,' I can gradually reduce your medication. I can also
introduce you to a little group where people like you help each
other 'recover' from 'cult abuse' by sharing their 'testimonials'
with the public. The final test of whether you're really 'cured' is
if you're willing to 'rescue' other 'cult victims' by telling them
the 'new information' you've learned about the 'cult.'"
Exposure to hate material in a group setting, plus complete
isolation from the spiritual group, can produce a radical inversion
of views. This is much like what is done to prisoners of war. They
are shown writing samples which vilify a person or group, and
pressured to write "confessions" or "testimonials" which will bring
their own accounts into conformity. They are constantly urged to
"imagine" a person doing horrible things which that person has NEVER
done in real life. Such false accounts gradually become real to them
through vicarious experience. (Psychologists call this "imagination
inflation.") Gradually, the image of a beloved mentor is replaced
with the stereotype of a hated "cult leader."
In my opinion, this kind of "treatment" by anti-cult therapists is
itself a form of abuse, and often leads to cases of False Memory
Syndrome (FMS). In the 1995 Sydney Morning Herald series "Therapy In
Turmoil: The Memory Controversy," Richard Guilliatt writes:
"Dr Jerome Gelb, a Melbourne psychiatrist who has recently treated
nine women for satanic abuse, says he now believes the stories are
false beliefs."
"'I have had three patients who have openly stated that their
"memories" were induced by the therapists they were seeing,' said Dr
Gelb. 'They were pressured into accusing family members of incest,
pressured into saying they were satanically abused, and in one case
pressured into leaving home.'"
"Dr Gelb argues that 'a significant cadre of poorly trained,
overzealous or ideologically driven psychotherapists have pursued a
series of pseudo-scientific notions that have ultimately damaged the
patients who have come to them for help.' He says that three of his
patients have now acknowledged that their recovered 'memories' of
abuse were actually confabulations produced by suggestive therapy."
"Dr Gelb has since become one of the most outspoken critics of
recovered memory in Australia, arguing in the pages of Australiasian
Psychiatry that therapists have done untold damage by using highly
suggestive techniques to induce false beliefs in their patients."
Malcolm Stern of the British False Memory Society writes:
"FMS involves not just recovering supposed memories but making them
the central feature in one's life, the basis of a new identity. The
rewards can be substantial: attention and sympathy; status as a
survivor (very fashionable in some circles); the companionship of
fellow-sufferers; above all, the comfort of knowing that, whatever
one's past or present problems, somebody else was to blame."
"We have seen [sufferers] reject anyone who doubts their
allegations, rush to join support groups, pore over the self-help
literature--in short, turn themselves into full-blown, single-minded
victims[.] ... We, for our part, regard them as victims of
irresponsible therapy, often allied to a dubious ideology." [BFMS
Newsletter, Vol 7. No 1 August 1999]
Charlotte Vale Allen, a genuine abuse survivor and the author of
Daddy's Girl writes:
"A woman I've known for over thirty years who's always been
searching for her 'gift,' for the career move that will finally
bring her happiness has now got memories that fill her with purpose.
After falling out of touch for a decade, she telephoned to say, in
essence, 'Guess what? Me, too!' But in the very new tones of
tremendous self-importance. This woman who'd never been able to find
something to do in life that would bring her any satisfaction was
now positively brimming with it. With the help of her therapist,
she'd at last found her calling--as a victim! She had ludicrous,
unbelievable tales to tell of satanic abuse--in the heart of one of
Toronto's oldest, wealthiest areas. Right! ... What is going on?
It's as if some sort of collective lunacy has taken hold of
people--the patients and therapists, both lockstepped in a march
toward finding a past history of abuse at all costs. Victimhood as a
desirable status is anathema to me[.]" [From the website of
Charlotte Vale Allen]
I apologize for bringing in a number of ideas which may seem strange
to members of a spiritual organization which has no history of
abuse. I guess my reason for doing so is to try and explain the
disconnect between the reality of Sri Chinmoy Centre--which has an
unblemished reputation--and the type of hate material which is
sometimes used to discourage people from choosing spiritual
alternatives.
In closing, I would like to say that there is good therapy and bad
therapy--and then there is downright abusive therapy. When former
spiritual seekers go to a therapist with a simple adjustment
problem, and end up being subjected to a program of psychological
manipulation which leaves them believing in ridiculous tales of
abuse for which there is no objective evidence, that is downright
abusive therapy.
One might even call such therapy a form of "social engineering."
After all, personal information about the patient is being used to
advance the therapist's hidden agenda. In such cases, the therapist
seems less concerned with helping the patient become a happy, well-
adjusted person, and more concerned with turning them into an
anti-cult activist willing to spread hate material about their
former religion.
In fairness, I would guess that most therapists are compassionate
healers who do want to help their patients. However, a therapist's
world view can strongly influence his or her sense of what it truly
means to "help." A gifted therapist might recognize that spiritual
seekers will not be helped by a programme designed to turn them into
secular conformists. But a "hack" may try and convince spiritual
seekers to abandon their faith and lead an ultra-pragmatic life
rooted in career, family and creature comforts. Therapy is, after
all, a mentoring tradition. Patients are most likely to be
pronounced "cured" if they end up mirroring the therapist's world
view, and adopting a retelling of their life story approved by the
therapist. Where we see former spiritual seekers turned psychiatric
patients telling highly scripted accounts of how they were "abused
by the cult," and where there is absolutely no evidence of such
abuse--where the real world data in fact indicates quite the
opposite--then we are right to conclude that these stories are
coming from the therapist, not the patient.
I recently had a chance to review some correspondence on these
issues. I was struck by the fact that in the thirty-five year
history of Sri Chinmoy Centre, no one has ever filed any complaint
of sexual abuse, child abuse, or anything of the sort. I guess that
laudable record would come as no surprise to the women participating
in this discussion. What is surprising is that there are people who
make their living advertising to parents that for a few thousand
dollars, they will perform a "cult intervention" which will "rescue"
their child from "abuse by the cult." It seems clear to me that
false tales of abuse serve as a marketing tool to sell such
"services." I consider this practice highly unethical, if not
downright illegal.
I hope this makes clear my reason for having asked the question "Is
Sri Chinmoy Centre a safe place for women?" And because women have
such strong nurturing and protective instincts toward children, I
would also like to expand my original question to the women: Is the
Sri Chinmoy Centre a safe place for children?
------------------------------------------------------------
#3312
From: nilima_silver
Date: Sat Mar 27, 2004 7:56 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
In answering the question about how my experiences as a student of
Sri Chinmoy have shaped my life, I am thinking back to the sixties
when I stumbled on Yoga and meditation before they were as
mainstream as they are today. I was desperately looking for
something to help me concentrate on my studies and cope with tension
in my senior year in high school. Yoga not only helped with stress
management, but opened doors to so much more, including the concept
of becoming closer to God--something previously foreign to me in my
atheistic upbringing.
One recurring theme in Sri Chinmoy's writings is that the spiritual
life is extremely practical. Indeed, I feel so fortunate to have
discovered the practical tools of faith, meditation and prayer as a
teenager, and they have helped me ever since to get through each day
with a little more poise, energy and joy. Needless to say, I am
extremely grateful for Sri Chinmoy's inner and outer teachings,
which have guided me and inspired me for over three decades in
efforts to better myself and, in my own small way, to make the world
a better place. And I am also grateful to have had the support of my
spiritual brothers and sisters, who have always been there for me,
whether it be in addressing day to day concerns, or in times of
crisis, such as the recent death of my father or my own
hospitalization from pneumonia a few months ago.
Which brings me to the last question--is the Sri Chinmoy Centre a
safe place for women? First, I think that this modern form of
spirituality offers a healthy and safe balance between our spiritual
and secular lives, with all of us living in our own homes or
apartments, having different jobs and activities, and maintaining
our financial independence. And in terms of receiving encouragement
and security from what has become my extended family, and benefiting
from the guidance of a very wise and compassionate Spiritual
Teacher, I would answer yes, a definite yes, a resounding yes!
------------------------------------------------------------
#3313
From: nayak_ltp
Date: Sat Mar 27, 2004 10:05 am
Subject: Nishtha's reply to "Question For The Women"
Dear Nishtha,
This reply was very inspiring to me. The replies themselves--yours,
plus those of the many other women who have replied--show the
independence, confidence, enthusiasm, spiritual commitment and self-
giving nature of the women in the Sri Chinmoy Centre. In addition to
the substantial content of the replies, the tone of each reply is
the best answer in itself.
Yours,
Nayak
------------------------------------------------------------
#3320
From: tanima_ny
Date: Sat Mar 27, 2004 3:22 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
This is in response to the "Question for the Women," which caught my
eye and raised some issues on which I would like to share my views.
Perhaps it is best to first tell a little about myself. My name is
Tanima, and I have been a student of Sri Chinmoy for 36 years, since
February 1968, when I joined at the age of 20, in my last year of
college. Actually, my mom first joined Sri Chinmoy Centre and then
inspired me. She had heard about Sri Chinmoy from the publicist for
the Off-Broadway show she was performing in, and she joined in 1967.
I am fortunate to have been an integral member of Sri Chinmoy Centre
from the beginning, and have been deeply involved in the activities
of Sri Chinmoy and his students, mainly as a leader of singing
groups, teaching and performing his devotional songs. Since 1970, I
have lived in Jamaica, Queens, New York, which is the central
location of the Centre.
Now, to get to the question. The writer refers to the many abuses
women are subjected to in the outer world, and asks: "Is Sri Chinmoy
Centre a safe place for women?" The answer, of course, is an
unconditional "Yes."
Obviously, I can speak only from my own experience; however, that
experience has been long, extensive and comprehensive. It would be
impossible to be closely associated on an almost daily basis for 36
years with an organization and its leader, and not know the truest
nature of both on every level. I can unequivocally say that Sri
Chinmoy, his path and his disciples embody only the absolute highest
standards, not only of purity, but also of spirituality, morality
and integrity. I have never, ever once, in my thousands upon
thousands of interactions with either Sri Chinmoy or his male
disciples, personally been the recipient of, or witnessed, or even
heard of any abusively untoward, undivine or impure actions. (Let me
also say that even on a subtle plane, we women have a special inner
"antenna" when it comes to this. There is not a woman in the world
who wouldn't recognize a man's "vibe", look, innuendos or actions
that indicate his impure intentions.)
Sri Chinmoy is a spiritual Master of the highest principles, the
highest purity, and the deepest goodness, and his students reflect
this high standard in all that they do. The way both he and his male
students relate to the female students is always, under all
circumstances, on the purest level, following the ancient Eastern
spiritual traditions. To give a few examples: at all meditations and
functions, the women and men sit completely separately; women and
men do not ride together in a car, except perhaps for couples and
relatives; even when we perform spiritual plays, the women and men
rehearse in completely separate groups.
As far as the writer getting "the feeling that many women stick
close to Sri Chinmoy Centre because they feel protected there," for
myself--and I think for many of my longtime friends on the path--I
would not say that we stay in the Centre solely for this reason,
though the protection of our pure lifestyle is certainly an added
"plus." We stay because our lives have been transformed and continue
to be transformed for the better. We stay because Sri Chinmoy is
such a remarkable, elevated, and illumined spiritual Master who
teaches us how to bring forward and strengthen our very best
qualities, how to transcend our limitations and weaknesses, how to
aspire, pray and meditate, and become better citizens of the world.
The writer also speaks of people saying that women who choose the
spiritual life are "repressed." For myself, it is exactly the
opposite. Nothing could be more liberating than not to have to rely
on or answer to a male partner, or to be bound to the full-time,
almost lifelong responsibility of raising children. Don't
misunderstand me: many women are happy and fulfilled with such a
life. We need them in the world, and I do not look down upon them.
However, I could not be happier with the choice I have made--to lead
a dedicated spiritual life, a life which, thanks to my spiritual
Master, Sri Chinmoy, is fulfilled in unceasing self-transcendence.
I thank the author of the question, and thank all those who might
read this for the opportunity to share my views.
Tanima
------------------------------------------------------------
#3321
From: nemi_fredner
Date: Sat Mar 27, 2004 4:19 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
I am extremely fortunate to have been a student of Sri Chinmoy since
the age of 18. I am now 54. For 36 years I have been privileged to
receive Sri Chinmoy's illumined spiritual guidance and encouragement
in every aspect of my life.
As a woman on this path, I am able to cultivate my capacities and my
feminine qualities in a powerfully nurturing environment together
with my fellow students. I feel safe; I feel strong. In the Sri
Chinmoy Centre, I meditate, I sing, I write, I run, I organise
projects, I perform in plays, I travel and meet people from many
different cultures with remarkably similar aspirations. In the job I
have held in the so-called "outer world" for 27 years, I work hard
and interact cheerfully and harmoniously with my colleagues. Thanks
to Sri Chinmoy, the inner life and the outer life, for me, have
become seamless. There is no difference. The spiritual life is
everything, and everything in life is spiritual.
I know my goal, be it ever so far, and I know my way. Along the way,
opportunities reach out to me constantly, thanks to my spiritual
teacher. Every aspect of my life is tended to with utmost care and
concern. Sri Chinmoy has given me the most beautiful name--which
means sanctity, purity, sacredness--and he has given me the constant
encouragement to grow into these divine qualities. What more could I
ask from life? For all the blessings I have received, I am
profoundly grateful.
Nemi
------------------------------------------------------------
#3322
From: balarka_sa
Date: Sat Mar 27, 2004 11:46 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Dear Eta,
Reading your post brought to life a memory from a Joy weekend in
Wellington in November 1996 (not sure about the date). A few of us
had driven down from Auckland and quite a few people (including you)
had driven up from Christchurch and taken the ferry from Picton.
After the weekend was over, I distinctly remember how you went
around to every single person and thanked each one of us
individually. You were so incredibly grateful for the whole
experience. I remember thinking that it was as if you couldn't
really believe that what you had experienced was really true it
was as though the whole thing seemed like a dream and you fully
expected to wake up at any moment. It was a truly moving experience
to witness. Ever since then I have always had the utmost respect for
you the fact that you joined the Centre at the age of 53, and with
such enthusiasm and determination has always profoundly inspired me.
Thank you!
Balarka
------------------------------------------------------------
#3326
From: sundari_one
Date: Sat Mar 27, 2004 11:50 pm
Subject: Equality in the Sri Chinmoy Centres
I have been so inspired by every single one of the posts in answer
to the Question for the Women, including the last one from the
moderator. It was long, but I read every word! Thank you for your
eloquence.
I just wanted to mention another thing that I find interesting about
our Sri Chinmoy Centres and that is the lack of bias based on age.
We are a large family and many of us have known each other for
decades. Many other members are relatively recent additions to our
family. Yet each person is appreciated for his or her own good
qualities, regardless of age. Within our group we relate to each
other equally whether male or female, old or young. It makes no
difference. We seem to have an ageless feeling. We see each other as
just people, brothers and sisters, without the stereotypes of age
and gender that are so prevalent in the outer world.
Perhaps this is because many of us who are single don't have the
responsibilities of people in society to "grow up" and take on the
"adult" responsibilities of raising a family, etc. We still have a
childlike feeling of trust and faith in God and in our spiritual
father, Sri Chinmoy. It is such a precious gift to be able to keep
that childlike quality all our lives.
We are only as old as we feel!
In oneness,
--Sundari
------------------------------------------------------------
#3343
From: sunchia_nz
Date: Sun Mar 28, 2004 5:03 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Is the Sri Chinmoy Centre a safe place for women? Yes, since I
became a student of Sri Chinmoy this is the safest I have been in my
entire life. Here I find a spiritual freedom and a secure
environment to be who I truly am. The Sri Chinmoy Centre enables me
to be very much an individual, to strive for my inner life, and also
to be part of a wonderful, caring family.
The support and friendship shared with me is overwhelming, and as
the mother of a small child, I feel so much care and warmth. There
is a pureness here and simplicity that strengthens the soul, mind,
body and entire being. This is "living" safe. There are many
opportunities to embrace a healthy and balanced lifestyle.
Since being part of the Sri Chinmoy Centre, my life has changed
within and without, allowing me to let go of fear, to wake up, stand
tall and walk forward.
Sunchia Raphael
New Zealand
------------------------------------------------------------
#3344
From: stacey_auckland
Date: Sun Mar 28, 2004 5:43 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Without a doubt, being a student of Sri Chinmoy has positively
enhanced and enriched my life. With all the outer world problems
that we face, it is a relief to find a place where we are valued for
the beauty of our hearts. Race, religion and gender are, you could
say, 'left at the door'. Sri Chinmoy has created and inspired in his
Centres all around the world, a feeling of purity and a haven where
we as individuals can develop spiritually.
In my years in the Centre, I feel I have gained inner poise and
confidence that has assisted me in coping with the worldly problems
often faced in day-to-day life. I feel I am now seeing the world in
a new light, with more compassion, a feeling of oneness, a sense of
gratitude for what I have and what I am, and the passion to live
every day to its fullest. This process has not been one of adopting
somebody else's beliefs and attitudes, but one of self-discovery
through meditation, and being surrounded with positive people and a
positive environment in which to grow inwardly. This in turn has
flowed over into the attainment of a more harmonious and successful
outer life.
Most people I encounter are very positive about my choice of a
spiritual lifestyle. I find it reassuring that an increasing number
of people are gaining insight into the benefits of spirituality. It
seems that this understanding is becoming more mainstream, and that
people are realising that adding spirituality to the physical and
mental "diet" creates a life of purity, balance and harmony.
We as individual seekers may often fall short of the ideal as we
strive towards transforming and perfecting our nature. I personally
may not always be a perfect representative of the spiritual life,
but having spent time with Sri Chinmoy, I have never seen him fall
short in any area. He stands as a radiant example of pure and living
spirituality.
Sri Chinmoy came to the West 40 years ago, bringing with him a solid
foundation of 20 years of spiritual discipline in India. During his
youthful ashram years he lived a life of meditation and service,
enriched with sports and cultural activities.
Since that time, he has devoted himself to sharing his spiritual
experiences with Westerners. His life of complete dedication to
serving a higher cause must inevitably be valued by seekers far and
wide in the fullness of time. For those who do not personally know
Sri Chinmoy, his spiritual realisation and personal integrity are
crystal clear from his writings, which can be read at
http://www.srichinmoy.org/ .
Yes, the Sri Chinmoy Centre is a safe place for women and children.
Unfortunately the world around us is not always safe. I live in hope
that one day the purity and beauty in the hearts of all the truth-
seekers and God-lovers of the world, no matter which spiritual path
they choose to follow, will spread and create a pure and safe world
for all of us to live in--a world where humanity can freely express
pure love and compassion, and live in oneness and harmony with each
other.
Stacey Marsh
New Zealand
------------------------------------------------------------
#3345
From: sudhirahay
Date: Sun Mar 28, 2004 6:21 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
This question about safety is one that I have never asked myself in
all the years I have been a student of Sri Chinmoy!
My mother joined Sri Chinmoy Centre when I was four years old.
Meditation and having a spiritual teacher have been utterly normal
things to me for as long as I can remember. Growing up in Sri
Chinmoy Centre does not mean you do not know the world, or are
separated from the world. I went to school, had friends, etc. In
fact, I was lucky in that the school I went to was rooted in another
spiritual tradition--so they understood and taught meditation to
every student who was interested. They let me meditate in the way I
was used to.
Since Sri Chinmoy's path advocates, among other things, a celibate
lifestyle, I would say that the only difference between myself and
my friends was my lack of interest in partying.
Seeing my friends go through some heavy-duty teenage stuff
(sometimes extending into their adult lives), I have always been
grateful that I did not have to follow that route to "feel alive".
The path offers enough challenges to keep me more than adequately
occupied, whether it is something relatively simple, like physical
fitness or learning songs, or something harder, like trying to face
and transform one's own undivine qualities. Sri Chinmoy's path, with
its clear criteria for leading a pure life, offers students the
ultimate safe environment for the world's hardest task: the
transformation of our human failings into positive strengths.
Recently, Sri chinmoy made an off-the-cuff comment that goes
something like this (I paraphrase): "The time will come when men
will sincerely appreciate the divine qualities of women, and women
will sincerely appreciate the divine qualities of men. At that time,
both will be able to make the fastest progress."
------------------------------------------------------------
#3349
From: nayak_ltp
Date: Mon Mar 29, 2004 1:13 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Dear Moderator,
Your new question is another good one. "Is the Sri Chinmoy Centre a
safe place for children?" I hope that some of the members of our
Centre who grew up with Sri Chinmoy will answer this--as well as the
women who raised them.
I would also say that all of us who have been in the Centre have
pretty rapidly become children in spirit, even at age 64; and while
safety is always there, joy is a much more lively presence.
Yours,
Nayak
------------------------------------------------------------
#3376
From: sarada1007
Date: Tue Mar 30, 2004 6:44 am
Subject: The whole safety thing
I didn't respond to this question originally because I didn't really
feel that the issue of safety had much to do with my spiritual life
(I read the original post and just thought, 'huh?'). I actually
doubted it had much to do with anyone's spiritual life, although
subsequently the concept of safety has been interpreted in many
different ways. I can also see now that the reason I was not
interested in the question of safety is that it 'goes without
saying' that women (and also children and men) are completely safe
in the Sri Chinmoy Centres. It is such a non-issue that my brain
couldn't even really engage with the question.
Having said that, I cannot imagine that anybody would join a
spiritual group or stay within it primarily for that reason. There
are many other, much easier ways to stay safe in those terms and (if
you happen to be female) then, let's face it, getting married is
probably one of them! We all know that a lone female is less likely
to be hassled with a wedding ring on her finger, and so in some ways
being single makes you more vulnerable to the 'outside' world. The
real point here, however, is not to do with physical or even
emotional safety (which can easily be found elsewhere) but rather
the safety of the 'highest self'. Within the Sri Chinmoy Centres,
that part of us which seeks satisfaction in the highest and
absolutely most profound sense is provided with the ultimate safe
haven. This is surely one of the reasons why so many people (of both
sexes) choose to stay within it indefinitely.
------------------------------------------------------------
#3404
From: Kriyavati
Date: Wed Mar 31, 2004 11:28 am
Subject: gratitude to everyone
My heart and my soul just want to express my profound gratitude to
everyone for all the inspiration I am getting from reading all these
messages from all over the world. Every post has a new and different
inspiration-flavour. Thank you so much.
As a woman, I would like to say that being a student of Sri Chinmoy
brings more happiness into my life. It is a very safe environment
and every day brings new opportunities to become a better, stronger,
more confident and more independent person. This path has inspired
me to do things that keep me healthy through sports, arts and
specially through meditation and prayers. I find my life so
interesting with new goals, new challenges all the time, and very
often with solutions unpredicted and unexpected. (That makes it very
interesting!)
Sri Chinmoy is a real inspiration with his vivid examples of
transcendence. All my gratitude goes specially to him and to
everyone in our dearest familly who is trying to create a better
world to live in. I would add that it is a real privilege to be on
this path.
Love and gratitude to all,
Kriyavati, Montreal
------------------------------------------------------------
#3405
From: molingmonika
Date: Wed Mar 31, 2004 5:10 am
Subject: Re: Question for the women
Thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to express myself
on this important matter.
First of all, I would like to say that people (women and men) join
Sri Chinmoy's path because they feel an inner urge for spirituality
and the inner life. Many are not satisfied living the ordinary
material life because inside them are questions like "Who am I?",
"Where do I come from?", "What is the meaning of life?" or "Where
will I be after death?".
Since I was a child, I myself always liked to pray and speak to God.
I wondered why there is no school for the inner values in a world
where there are so many schools of different kinds. So finally
finding Sri Chinmoy's meditation school was like finding the school
I always wanted. Sri Chinmoy himself is the head of this school
because he has gone through all the lessons of the inner and outer
life, and so he knows how to teach others. I wish many more could
have the beautiful experience of his harmonious and loving
teachings. It is our own experience which is the real proof of the
God-consciousness Sri Chinmoy brings down.
Yes, it is true: in the centre we feel protected, for diverse
reasons both spiritual and practical. When we lead a spiritual life,
we pray to God and we meditate on God. We feel God's presence and
guidance, and we know He never abandons us. He protects us from
wrong forces. Leading a spiritual life, we dress in a modest way so
as not to cause wrong thoughts in others. Also, if women travel the
streets at night, Sri Chinmoy himself recommends that they travel in
a group of at least two or three (never alone). This is a
commonsense protection.
Sri Chinmoy's path offers an integral approach. With his method we
are working on all the five levels of ourselves: body, vital, mind,
heart and soul. We try to transform our limited nature into a more
fulfilling and liberating consciousness. Anything that disturbs us
we gradually tranform into its opposite positive quality. For
example, the lethargy of the body becomes action, the aggression of
the vital becomes dynamism, the doubt of the mind becomes faith, the
insecurity of the heart becomes certainty and the hidden soul
becomes our true experience.
So also, the lower vital forces (or sexual instincts) are not
"repressed," but rather transformed through meditation on the heart,
which brings us abundant purity. Through our love for God, we
transform our lower impulses into a higher energy we can use to
serve God in humanity. Of course, nothing is immediate. The
transformation of our nature takes time, so that is why we go to
school and have a teacher. We are all learning, and our goal is
constant progress.
Thank you very much.
Monika. Italy.
------------------------------------------------------------
#3415
From: anna_canberra
Date: Wed Mar 31, 2004 9:48 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Here is my response to your "Question For The Women".
International Women's Day fell close to a special day on our Centre
calendar, the anniversary of Sri Chinmoy's first marathon. Many
members of the Centre celebrated it by running a marathon on the
weekend of March 6/7. Especially with my 10th anniversary in the
Centre approaching, this gave me the opportunity to reflect on my
experience.
I joined the Sri Chinmoy Centre at 28 years of age in Sydney, not
with any particular problems in my outer life, but with a strong
sense that there must be more to life, and with an inner urge to
make more progress with meditation, which I had already begun to
practise.
The word "spirituality" was then a new word in my everyday
vocabulary; but as I continued to attend the sessions run by the
Centre, I embraced the spiritual life as it is lived by students of
Sri Chinmoy with the knowledge that there was no turning back for
me.
Why did I do this? I found that the Centre members had in common an
underlying sense of joy, peace, sincerity and purity. The group
meetings became the highlight of my week, a spiritual oasis in a
busy, modern, city life. Sri Chinmoy's teachings rang 100% true in
every atom of my being, and I found that all the questions I had
ever asked were being answered.
I must admit that when people started talking about running
marathons, I was of the belief that this was probably not for me. My
physical constitution has always been a little tempermental. But I
felt an inner urge to start running, so I gradually did. I would
never have imagined that not only would I go on to run marathons,
but also ultra- marathons. I was a member of the relay teams for the
Sri Chinmoy Oneness-Home Peace Run in three countries: Norway,
Australia, and the US.
While running to celebrate Sri Chinmoy's running career, the joy of
my own running memories--which is only one aspect of my life in the
Centre--revisited me. I was filled with gratitude for the tremendous
opportunities presented to me as a student of Sri Chinmoy. Anybody
who has been to a marathon can verify that women are badly
outnumbered on the field. Yet in the Centre, I have never felt like
a "minority", intimidated, or limited in what I can achieve. To the
contrary, I feel that limitations are to be challenged and
transcended.
So to say that the spiritual life is empowering is true. We live in
times where women have increased freedom to express themselves in
all facets of life, and I believe this relates to their spiritual
expression as well.
While it is true that I feel protected in the Centre, this is not
why I remain a member. It is the love, joy and peace that I feel
that keeps me close, and the protection comes part and parcel with
it.
In history, many virtuous people have been victims of ignorant and
undivine attitudes. Does this mean they should not be virtuous? Of
course not. If people misunderstand or criticise my spirituality,
then let them. It does not change who I am.
Returning to your question: I cannot comment on the cause of mental
sickness, but someone who has this pre-disposition would find solace
in spirituality because of the peace and joy that it brings, without
which destructive forces can surface in a more aggressive way.
So yes, Sri Chinmoy Centre is a safe place for women. As we devote
our lives to God, the Divine Grace protects and expands our lives.
------------------------------------------------------------
#3486
From: sushmitam_r
Date: Sat Apr 3, 2004 2:45 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Re: Qn For Women - therapy, Freud, false memory - reply to 3311
--Dear Moderator, thank you for your very detailed analysis of the
psychological factors at play in this whole issue of therapy and the
potential for false accusations towards spiritual groups. It is a
fascinating issue (to me as a psychologist anyway!) but also a
rather distasteful one to contemplate. Whenever I read in the papers
of this type of abuse supposedly occurring in a spiritual group, I
always keep an open mind about where the truth really lies. At any
rate, since you have expanded on some of the things I wrote in my
previous posting, I've decided to add a few comments.
I believe that the scenario you describe whereby a patient may come
to say that she has been abused by a spiritual group definitely
occurs. The process you describe is at the more gross end of
therapeutic irresponsibility, and readers may be shocked to realise
that this can happen. I have two main comments relating to this
issue. The first involves an elaboration of some of the more subtle
ways in which false accusations may arise. The second is an
explanation for how there can be such incredibly abusive therapy.
1.You elaborated on the psychological processes which may occur when
someone leaves a spiritual path - a path which they found positive,
but which challenged aspects of their nature which they chose not to
transform. I think in my original posting I emphasised the grief
involved in leaving, and you have quite rightly identified guilt as
another factor. You emphasised guilt in relation to the spiritual
teacher and friends on the path. I would also add that I think there
is enormous guilt in relation to the self in such cases. A person
who has found great love and light through a spiritual path, but
cannot bear to give up old ways, is at some level aware that they
are betraying their own highest self or soul. How could such a
person possibly bear the knowledge of this self-betrayal? One way is
to make the group or the Guru 'bad' in their mind. I think this
helps us to understand the process you describe (which might
otherwise seem an unlikely scenario) whereby a patient ends up
agreeing with what are basically lies put forward by the therapist.
The therapist's suggestion of abuse helps the patient to resolve the
internal conflict of leaving something which has been positive, so
she is willing to take these lies onboard.
Importantly though, in my opinion, false memories and accusations of
abuse can also arise directly from the patient, without therapist
suggestion. How could it be that a patient comes up with her own
lies - and believes them?? Surely just needing to find a way of
dealing with the inner conflict arising from leaving a spiritual
group would not be enough to produce such lies! To understand this
phenomenon, we can obtain a little help from an old friend of mine,
Sigmund Freud! (Yes I know Freud is out of date, and overemphasised
the role of the sexual impulse in everything, but some of his ideas
are still very relevant. Bear with me!)
Freud discovered, to his absolute amazement, that some of his female
patients were falling in love with him and expecting or believing
that he too would love them! What on earth was going on?? He
eventually came to the understanding that patients project onto
their therapist many unresolved desires and impulses, and that they
do this completely unconsciously. This process of projection (or
transference, as it is called in the therapy context) can be
observed in all sorts of relationships. It is accentuated in the
type of therapy Freud advocated, where the therapist does not give
much away about himself personally, so the patient, in the absence
of any clues to the contrary, projects onto the 'blank slate' of the
therapist all sorts of issues, which are then used by the therapist
as information about the patient. (A simplistic example: someone who
grew up with parents who were constantly angry with her, easily
expects anger, and so will come to believe her therapist is angry
with her even when he is not.)
Interestingly, this phenomenon is common in the spiritual life,
particularly when there is a Guru involved. A spiritual seeker,
hoping for transformation, will project on the Guru all sorts of
emotions, hopes and desires, some consciously and some
unconsciously. To use the example I gave above, a seeker who has
unresolved problems with anger, may feel that her Guru is angry with
her, even when he is not.
A Guru like Sri Chinmoy offers inner guidance to thousands of
seekers, and helps them in their meditation; but he cannot possibly
become personally involved in all the details of each person's life.
If a seeker projects her desires on the Guru, there may be little
opportunity to "talk it out." The seeker is responsible for
maintaining the right attitude. Hopefully, through meditation and
perhaps some reality checking with others, she will come to see how
she expects anger much of the time, and because of this she is blind
to the spiritual love that her Guru is inwardly expressing. I have
frequently observed this phenomenon at play amongst Sri Chinmoy's
students, and usually it is all part of the transformation process
and has a positive outcome.
Now if this process of projection by the seeker includes sexual or
aggressive impulses, as it did with Freud, and the seeker leaves
before these are transformed, the misperceiving of the Guru can lead
to accusations of abuse of various sorts. In this case, the person
actually sees and experiences her own impulses as being those of the
Guru. It then requires a much smaller slip in perception of reality
for such a person to believe that a Guru has behaved in an abusive
manner. Unfortunately, the line between sanity and madness is not as
clear as most people believe - as anyone working in the
psychological field will affirm!
2. Now to the issue of how on earth there can be such irresponsible
and abusive therapists! This is truly an appalling state of affairs,
and is largely due to the training or lack thereof in the therapy
profession. I'm not sure how therapy training and legislation works
in the USA, but the problem is very clear in Australia. For
starters, anyone at all, without one day of training, or any
psychological insight, can hang up a shingle outside an office and
describe themselves as "counsellor", "therapist" or
"psychotherapist". These titles have no legal requirements attached
to them!
Then there are psychiatrists. In Australia, their training is first
a medical degree, then postgraduate specialisation in psychiatry,
which is largely training on the use of psychiatric medication. They
get almost no training in the talking side of things. This is fine
if they stick to prescribing and adjusting medication, which many of
them do. However others dabble in counselling or therapy with no
extra training - as do ordinary doctors here.
Now to psychologists! I am one of these. I can confidently say that
in a basic psychology degree here in Australia, one can gain high
marks solely on the basis of investigating animal behaviour (e.g.,
pigeons). After this, one is let loose to practice on people - at
first under supervision, and then on one's own. This is another
recipe for therapeutic disaster!
Many people in the helping professions choose to get extra training
(thank God!), but it is not required by their professional body, and
is of varying quality. In my opinion, to be effective, any training
in this area MUST require the trainee to undergo therapy him or
herself. Otherwise, aspects of the therapist's own personality,
which are unrecognised, will be projected onto the patients. The
best therapists that I have come across have all had this type of
training. Certainly some therapists are more gifted than others, but
the worst case scenarios you describe occur due to a lack of proper
training.
As I said in my previous posting, I was very fortunate myself to
have a therapist who was full of integrity and understanding and was
very well trained. He freely admitted to me that he had no firsthand
experience in the area of spirituality, but he was very respectful
of my experience and had no agenda of his own in relation to the
lifestyle and beliefs I came to adopt.
Well! Never did I imagine that I would find myself posting on such a
psychologically convoluted topic on this site! The spiritual life is
always full of surprises!
With gratitude
Sushmitam
------------------------------------------------------------
#3575
From: Sara in Italy
Date: Wed Apr 7, 2004 2:24 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Being a Sri Chinmoy student means, for me, such a beautiful
experience that cannot be described by words. If I only think about
it, my heart becomes full of pure joy. I feel I finally arrived to
my "safe part" in order to start my fruitful path in pure safety and
trust, together with many beautiful people.
I didn't even think such beautiful people could exist, and being in
constant contact with them brought so much joy and inspiration in my
life. I live in Italy and I started on Sri Chinmoy's path only three
years ago, but my life has totally changed for the better Already
after the first year I saw so many changes in myself. I feel I am
changing and constantly bettering myself.
There is nothing strange or "mysterious" in following a spiritual
path under the guidance of a Master. We are not extraterrestrials or
people who need psychiatric help. We are just ordinary people who
somehow received an "inner call" or an inspiration to look after
something inside ourselves, because the outer life alone could not
satisfy our needs. Or, simply, someone met some students of Sri
Chinmoy: they are optimistic, joyful and full of peace, sweetness,
balance, determination, eagerness, sincerity, purity and other
beautiful qualities that cannot often be observed in the majority of
people. I was one of those average people. Absolutely not better.
Nobody would even think that I could one day receive such joy in
practising the spiritual life.
Spiritual life is not the punishing life that everybody expects.
When we sincerely pray and meditate and we try to do what our heart
tells us, we look at life, people, trees and the world in a
different way. We experience true joy inside and the people around
feel it, because our eyes are beaming, smiling at the world and the
world feels something beautiful and gets inspiration, even if
unconsciously. I can see in my everyday life that the small
vibration of peace and happiness I offer touches the hearts of
others. I work in a shop and often speak with people who do not
practice any spiritual life. They could seem impolite and stressed
out--but every one of them can reveal his or her own best qualities
with a little care, politeness and happiness. I do not make any
effort, I am just happy at last, and people just feel it and smile.
I can get so much peace and joy on this path. I deeply feel Sri
Chinmoy's protection, guidance, help and presence.
Our soul can guide our life. We are used to hearing messages from
our mind, but we consciously make mistakes and have negative
experiences. Not so when following the dictates of our soul.
Everybody has a soul, but very rarely can people catch it's
messages. A spiritual Master, who has already discovered the power
of his own soul by completing his own journey, can help us feel what
is best to do in our lives according to our soul's needs. Behaving
in the proper way and also following our "good sense," we can
overcome many obstacles.
I feel very happy and safe in the Sri Chinmoy Centre. These are not
words coming from blind trust to someone or something, but from a
clear and sure inner feeling, and from personal experiences I have
had which gave answers to my inner doubts.
On this path we learn to listen to our heart and soul, which we can
begin to understand in small measure as intuition. Intuition is not
mental information, it is certainty of the truth. We get a flash of
intuition, and we discover it was really true. The heart knows this
truth in an instant because it identifies with the truth. But the
mind puts us through many trials and doubts, and at times can act
like an enemy if we give it too much power in the wrong way.
As for the moderator's idea that spiritual sickness leads to mental
sickness... I think that spirituality and mental illness go in
opposite directions. Real spirituality goes through the heart. By
meditating on the heart we get peace, understanding, love and a
feeling of oneness with the rest of the world. The mind separates
us, makes us feel ourselves as better than others, and makes us
behave as egoists, to get more power over others.
The wrong way to understand or conceive of a certain religion is to
fail to follow feelings of oneness, brotherhood and love for each
other. This way uses the mind for its power goals. This explains the
fears of some parents and relatives who do not know how different
Sri Chinmoy Centre is from what they imagine. Our path is based on
love, care, understanding and the transformation of many negative
qualities (egoism, aggressivity, etc.).
We follow the path of the heart because the joy of the heart is not
defeated by these negative qualities. Of course, this does not mean
that Sri Chinmoy's students do not use the mind. If the mind can be
guided by the spiritual heart, then it acts in the correct way. The
heart always knows what is right and how to get to it. We are all
equal before God, and all of us have this wonderful opportunity to
progress, because each of us has the spiritual heart, and the
beautiful soul within.
Sri Chinmoy's path has been and is for me a wonderful opportunity to
evolve and better myself, to listen to my inner voice. I faced and
overcame without particular efforts many experiences which three
years ago I would have considered as impossible for me. My
determination and willingness increased--and most important, I am
learning to listen to my inner voice.
I am so certain about that, I feel it so strongly, that I simply do
not care about what others think or say. I am sure that if they only
could feel what I am feeling, they would never doubt my new way of
life. I like so much Sri Chinmoy's path. I rightly feel I am the
most fortunate person on Earth.
Sara. (Italy)
------------------------------------------------------------
#3603
From: prachar_1
Date: Fri Apr 9, 2004 8:56 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Dear Moderator,
You have tackled a complex and difficult subject, and shone a
searchlight of pure understanding into what is at best a dense
forest, and at worst a putrid quagmire that has engulfed the lives
of many. That you stride confidently where many fear to tread is a
testament to your courage and the powerful conviction that impels
you.
I am astonished that you are familiar with the writing of Richard
Guilliatt, an authority whose work was also cited in a court case in
Canberra, Australia--a case where the insidious nature of so-called
'recovered memory' was fully exposed, and the devastating
consequences of false tales of abuse on the lives of innocent people
was amply demonstrated.
I am grateful also that you have quoted from Sushmitam's incisive
posting on this subject. I found particular resonance in her
comments about the need to turn all one's good memories into bad in
order to deal with the grief of leaving a spiritual community:
"I remember an experience I had when I was quite new on the path a
year or two perhaps. I was overwhelmed by the love, the peace and
the experiences of God that I had gained on the path, but at the
same time was struggling with some of the lifestyle aspects of the
path. I realised at this time that my positive experiences far
outweighed my struggles and that I definitely did not want to leave
the path. However in dealing with this struggle, I came to the
realisation that if anything ever pulled me away from the path, the
only way I would be able to bear to leave, would be to destroy in my
mind all the positive experiences I had gained otherwise the grief
of leaving would be completely overwhelming. Everything good would
have to be made bad, everything pure made impure, in order to
justify to myself such an action."
Sushmitam's testimony is the fruit of deep and sincere inner
reflection. (Some truths cannot be counterfeited.) Interestingly and
eerily, her words bear a close resemblance to some spoken to me
twenty years ago by a former mentor on this path, one who was later
to enact, puppet-like, the truth of his own prescient words.
So to return to the original writer: Your contribution in this field
is truly invaluable. You are literally helping to save lives.
Prachar
------------------------------------------------------------
#3611
From: ckgaparajita
Date: Sat Apr 10, 2004 10:14 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
The moderator wrote:
"Yet, social scientists who have studied the data have concluded
that people who join religious movements tend to do so in response
to deeply felt spiritual needs--often after a period in which they
were dissatisfied with the quality of their spiritual life. This is
certainly borne out by the women's stories in this thread."
It is also borne out by my own experience. When I first became a
student of Sri Chinmoy, my parents -- as many do -- thought I had
fallen into a dangerous trap, that there must have been something
"wrong" with me that compelled me to join this "group."
So, figuring I was a poor 18-year-old who had lost his way, they
sent me to a well-known psychologist who specialized in teenage
problems. He was a very nice man. I showed him some of Guru's books,
which he read. I told him what our path was about (or at least what
I understood of it after a few months) and what our spiritual
practice was.
After a few visits, he had made his analysis and met with me and my
parents. I shall never, ever forget that meeting; it is forever
etched in my consciousness! It went something like this:
Psychologist: First of all, Mr. and Mrs. X, I want to start by
saying that your son is a perfectly normal, well-adjusted boy of 18.
I give him a completely clean bill of health.
Parents: We don't doubt that, Doctor, but what we want to know is
why he felt the need to join this group?
Psychologist: Instead of answering that question, why don't we
answer this question: why did you feel the need to send him to me,
just because he decided to join a spiritual group? All of us seek
the Truth in our own way. Some people seek the Truth more
vociferously than others. [I remember so vividly he used the word
"vociferously".] Your son happens to be one of those people. I see
absolutely no harm either in his search for the Truth or in the path
he has chosen to follow.
God bless that psychologist! He really saved me. More than that, he
proved that there are good psychologists out there who really
understand human nature from a broad point of view.
- Aparajita
------------------------------------------------------------
#3730
From: srichinmoyinspiration
Date: Thu Apr 22, 2004 2:18 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
I will soon post the digest of the discussion topic "Question For
The Women" from the Sri Chinmoy Inspiration Group, March/April 2004.
This will be Version 2 of the digest, containing all the messages
published so far (through April 21). The URL will be:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration/message/3731
I was deeply moved by the outpouring of responses to the question.
The women are being very gracious in taking time out from their busy
schedules. I hope I will not be accused of keeping them from their
prayers, meditations, careers and families if I say that I have
further comments and questions.
I hope to follow up soon. For now, I would just like to express my
gratitude to all who are posting. You are providing a rich source of
information about Sri Chinmoy Centre which was hitherto unavailable.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I hope also that in speaking up honestly about their lives, none of
the women have experienced undue hardship. Where anti-cult groups
email the women links to pornographic material, I really feel this
is a crime, and deserves to be treated as a crime. Even if the
person doing it is mentally ill, still you would think he would show
some conscience. But perhaps for some people, that's what mental
illness is--a loss of conscience, and a loss of empathy for those
whom they once loved, and who once tried to help them overcome their
lifelong problems.
Sometimes a spiritual teacher has to be part psychologist, part
social worker--even music therapist! It is well known that those in
the helping professions run the greatest risk of being cyberstalked.
Over the years, Sri Chinmoy has done much outreach work with
troubled youth. He has helped many people turn their lives around;
but I think for some people it's still a daily battle to live a
decent life. Sometimes, even after twenty years or more of fighting
the good fight, a person relapses into solipsistic behavior, such as
problems with drugs and alcohol (or just plain brute selfishness).
Then they may lash out at someone they once loved--someone who
honestly tried to help them. They try to hang on to a former mentor
in a troubled way, by stalking him on the Internet. It seems that
anti-cult groups encourage this kind of felonious activity.
According to information found at:
http://www.cyber-stalking.net/
some of the methods used by cyberstalkers to harass their victims
include:
- Creating websites about the victim to attack or harass them
- Posting in a newsgroup or on an online discussion forum or
discussion board to attack the victim
- Accusing the victim of paedophilia to incite harassment of the
victim
Cyber-stalking.net is a resource you can use to learn more about
online safety. Where an online service turns a blind eye to
harassment and stalking behavior, as a last resort it may be
necessary to file a police report.
There is something noble in the sacrifices made by the women telling
their personal stories; for in doing so, they are joining in the
same outreach work which has earned Sri Chinmoy a reputation as a
saint among thousands of people who were crying for a better life,
but who did not feel they had the tools to change their lives until
they learned meditation under his silent gaze.
Those who have received inner awakening and have begun their
spiritual journey sometimes find that the world is ready to devour
them with its suspicion. In following the age-old spiritual counsel
to be pure of heart and childlike in spirit, they may find that they
are mocked and set upon, and that they must be as lambs among
wolves.
I applaud the women for their courage, and hope they will continue
to speak out on issues of concern. Their innocence and purity speaks
volumes about their character, and the character of their teacher.
When people read their stories, I think that a process of slow,
careful reflection will begin, and this will help lead many people
to a deeper understanding.
I believe that in leading a pure life, the women bring forth a
special inner beauty which is unparalleled, and which inspires
everyone whose hearts they touch. This beauty is on the inner plane,
and therefore is eternal and immortal. There is so much beauty on
Sri Chinmoy's path, and this beauty is born of purity and
innocence--qualities which the women have demonstrated in ample
measure, in addition to their strength and courage. I thank them
once again.
Assistant Moderator
------------------------------------------------------------
[end digest]