Posted April 22nd, 2004 by srichinmoyinspi...(#3731)
Here is the digest of the discussion topic "Question For The Women"
from the Sri Chinmoy Inspiration Group, March/April 2004. This is
Version 2 of the digest, containing all the messages published so
far (through April 21).
I hope discussion will continue, but this seems like a good time to
take a deep breath and collect what has already been said. It is an
amazing record!
I'm extremely grateful to the women for taking the time and effort
to make their feelings known. You are not just helping each other,
but also raising the consciousness of the men in Sri Chinmoy Centre,
and providing valuable primary source material about the daily lives
of spiritual seekers.
All gratitude,
Assistant Moderator
-------------------
Question For The Women - Digest Version 2 - Message List
#3032
From: srichinmoyinspiration
Date: Fri Mar 19, 2004 2:28 am
Subject: Question For The Women
March 8th was International Women's Day. We failed to mark the
event, but I'm thinking maybe we should have. I would like to ask
the women how their experience as students of Sri Chinmoy has shaped
their lives.
We see that in the outer world, there are so many problems with
rape, abuse, and harassment. I get the feeling that many women stick
close to Sri Chinmoy Centre because they feel protected there.
Sometimes in the outer world, people make fun of women who choose
the spiritual life, saying they are "repressed" and other unkind
things. But I once heard an interview with a woman who said she felt
empowered by living the spiritual life, and that the role of women
in mainstream society has become vulgarized.
Sometimes in life, those who are most virtuous are taunted by those
who are most wicked, and those who are most innocent are victimized
by those who are most guilty of wrongdoing. Recently, Johnji posted
a poem by Sri Chinmoy called A Life of Innocence. At the time, it
struck me that one reason people are often moved to tears when they
meditate with Sri Chinmoy is that the consciousness he brings down
is one which is completely pure and innocent - so much so that it
brings forth what is pure and innocent in us, and cleans away all
our impurities, like a mother bathing her children.
A painful reality of life is that what is most pure and innocent is
often what is attacked by people who have become troubled. I do not
fully understand it - except that maybe spiritual sickness leads to
mental sickness.
Sometimes it seems that in the outer world, people have many strange
ideas. They think that because someone prays and meditates and joins
in the life of a spiritual community, that means they are "abused."
Also, it seems that if someone leaves a spiritual group and later
enters into therapy, there is tremendous pressure on them to conform
to negative stereotypes about "cults." In some cases, they seem to
make up ridiculous stories designed to please their therapist. Maybe
this is one reason there is so much confusion about spiritual
groups.
I would love to gain some enlightenment from the women on these
issues. Let me play devil's advocate: Is Sri Chinmoy Centre a safe
place for women?
I Think I Love You
God, I think I love You.
"Daughter, what is the proof?"
God, this is the proof:
You know, God,
I do not live with ignorance
Anymore;
I do not play with doubt
Anymore;
I do not cry with fear
Anymore;
I do not eat with jealousy
Anymore;
I do not dance with despair
Anymore.
"Daughter, enough.
You love Me
And
I love you.
Be happy. Remain happy."
#3048
From: salil_wilson
Date: Fri Mar 19, 2004 12:34 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Fascinating topic.
Very interested to hear responses.
I want to congratulate the question and encourage response but, as a
male, I think it best to shut up for at least one moment and listen
to what the women have to say.
#3052
From: lotika_rus
Date: Fri Mar 19, 2004 1:37 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Hello everybody,
Happy Women's Day!
I would like to express my personal opinion concerning this
important topic. In many places around the world women are treated
as if they are second class human beings, slaves of men. Women are
supposed to be afraid of everything, to be blindly obedient to their
men, to just serve men, etc. This is very true in the place I live:
Russia.
Before I joined the Sri Chinmoy Centre, I was always looking for
freedom and I always wanted to have a different life than most women
of my country. After a while I discovered that the outer freedom
does not really mean to do whatever extraordinary things come into
your mind. By getting this kind of "freedom" I was actually
unconsciously enslaving myself more and more.
When I came to the Centre, I have finally found the equality of
people because in the Centre each person learns how to serve God in
other human beings instead of serving people's ego; therefore it
feels like being in a loving family being surrounded by loving and
supportive sisters and brothers.
Also, I feel that I have found that freedom I was looking for: the
inner freedom when one is not bound by the rules that society is
trying to impose on women and when you can freely live according to
your own inner feelings.
Speaking about people saying that women are being "abused" in the
Centre, I would like to say that this is made up by people who have
not experienced what being in the Centre really means. And even if
these people have been in the Centre on the outer plane, most
probably, they have never made an effort to open themselves and to
be sincere. Even being in the Centre, they just stayed in their
limited minds and did not experience in reality what oneness-heart
is. After all, everyone has a freedom of choice. If I feel secure
and safe in the Centre only, please respect my choice. No one can
judge others' lives without living these lives.
Lotika
O my Lord Supreme,
If You really love me,
Then take away my mind's
False freedom,
And place me at Your Feet
To enjoy real freedom.
- Sri Chinmoy
------------------------------------------------------------
#3054
From: karpani_ru
Date: Fri Mar 19, 2004 3:00 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
This is really a most interesting topic. Thank you for coming up
with it!
I came to know about Sri Chinmoy when I was 18 years old. I was a
University student, and I think generally the atmosphere in the
University is more dignified, in a way, than in most other places in
our country. But what especially impressed me right from the very
first moment I saw students of Sri Chinmoy was that higher level of
dignity, respect and good will for each other and for myself which
seemed to be quite natural for them.
I said to myself, "Oh! I did not even think that such people
existed--and here I find many of them!" I wanted to be a part of
that atmosphere so much, and it was very natural that I decided to
become a student of Sri Chinmoy.
So, just in one or two weeks after I became a student of Sri
Chinmoy, I came to know that there would be a big Joy Day--a
gathering of students of Sri Chinmoy where they share their
inspiration, aspiration and creativity. I was told that it would be
a bright, remarkable event; several hundred of Sri Chinmoy's
students were expected to come from all over the country. It was to
take place near St-Petersburg--actually, not even in the city
proper, but somewhere in the vicinity.
I was so eager to come, but in fact I had never before travelled far
from Moscow like that, on my own. At that time it was quite an
adventure for me, and I was a little worried. When I came to the
train, I found out that quite a few other students of Sri Chinmoy
travelled in the same carriage. And all of them were boys whom I
practically did not know at that time!
I think I would have felt uneasy in other circumstances--but their
behavior was so polite, dignified and respectful that I was again
very deeply impressed and did not worry at all. And when I came to
the Joy Day and could see students of Sri Chinmoy from all over the
country, I felt that this respectful, dignified and pure-hearted
attitude to others was natural for all of them.
And gradually I came to realise that it all comes from Sri Chinmoy
who is a shining example of these qualities and manifests them in
his own life in boundless measure.
So now, 11 years later, I am not afraid of travelling anymore :). I
have travelled to so many other cities, countries, even
continents--and wherever I meet students of Sri Chinmoy I can feel
this good will, politeness, respect and pure-hearted attitude which
makes me feel at home, safe and secure everywhere.
All joy,
Karpani
------------------------------------------------------------
#3060
From: nayak_ltp
Date: Fri Mar 19, 2004 11:31 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
I am also eager to see the responses. As a married man with great
respect for my spouse, I very much appreciate the distinct qualities
that men and women bring to this reality of ours. Now, it is the
turn of the women to offer their special and unique point of view. I
shall join you, Salil, in shutting up (after my long speech here)
and listen.
#3061
From: m_latinova
Date: Sat Mar 20, 2004 1:54 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Writing specially about the women in our centres put a strange for
me emphasis on the issue and not because of other reason, but
because I have always considered all students of Sri Chinmoy as
seekers, seekers of truth, seeker of your true inner self ... so
getting closer to the Master inwardly we are getting closer to our
true self and in this true self there is not fear. Also choosing a
spiritual path is not an escape, but a journey towards something
more meaningful, when nothing around you has been successful to
satisfy you. And this unknown journey without divisions in the
Higher Reality leads you towards more and more light and less and
less fear...
"Separation doesn't know
what affection and bliss are"
Sri Chinmoy
With best regards
my humble opinion on this
hot topic
------------------------------------------------------------
#3069
From: srichinmoyinspiration
Date: Sat Mar 20, 2004 5:42 am
Subject: To Women, Nayak, and Richard
Thanks to the women who replied to my question about how their
experience as students of Sri Chinmoy has shaped their lives. Those
messages were:
Gratitude to Lotika, Karpani, and m_latinova for their articulate
and enlightening comments. If anyone else would like to share on
this subject, please consider the question still open.
------------------------------------------------------------
#3078
From: sundari_one
Date: Sat Mar 20, 2004 10:44 am
Subject: Re: Question to the Women
What a wonderful and thoughtful question you have asked. I have been
in the Centre for 32 years, so in many ways I feel as though I have
"grown up" in the Centre. I have spent almost all of my adult years
as a disciple. When I joined, I was very shy and insecure. I was
really afraid of people. But right away I was given so many
opportunities in the Centre, my confidence slowly grew. One example
that comes to mind: We were on a bus trip with Guru in the early
70's. He asked me to come up to the front of the bus and sing a
certain song. I was terrified, but I came up and sang anyway. What
an unexpected and ecstatic experience I had! I felt such a powerful
force coming from Guru giving me confidence as I stood there looking
at all the shining faces of the disciples in the bus. I realized
they weren't judging me, but rooting for me to do well. It was an
amazing moment - such oneness and love. That one experience changed
me, and there have been countless others over the years. I feel now
that I am a completely different person, and it is all due to the
inspiration, encouragement and support I have received from Sri
Chinmoy and from the disciples.
For many years I worked as a secretary downtown, usually as a
temporary. In some jobs I would stay for a week or two, and in
others for several years. During that time I had the opportunity to
observe many different work environments and different types of
people. Many of the people I worked with enjoyed their work and
their family lives, but many more were dissatisfied with their lives
and work and were envious of the freedom I enjoyed. Every time I
went away to New York or on a Christmas Trip, my co-workers would be
so envious of my freedom to just go. Also, even though many were
religious, there was seldom a spiritual atmosphere in the work
environment. I would always have pictures of Guru and flowers and
would be very clear about where I stood, and they appreciated that.
And even though I was a secretary, and a temporary at that, because
of being brought up in the Centre, I never had any sense of
inferiority towards the men that I worked with. In fact, I think
being in the Centre is very empowering for women. Sri Chinmoy gives
us the same opportunities, attention, and importance as the men.
There has never been a sense that we are in any way inferior,
spiritually or otherwise. There is a feeling of real equality.
I think what Sri Chinmoy is doing for women is so important. This is
a time when our society has swung much too far in the direction of
the masculine energy, and for the future of our planet we have to
swing back toward the feminine. I think that by bringing forward the
women in our Path, Guru is helping to make that happen. I don't know
much about other religions, but I doubt that there are many where
women and men have such equal status.
#3084
From: bhuvah_nz
Date: Sat Mar 20, 2004 1:56 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Thank you for putting forth this interesting question and giving us
the opportunity to share our feelings on this subject.
In this era, women are in the vanguard of many activities that were
not available to them in former times, and the progress they have
made in most arenas is remarkable. Sri Chinmoy has selflessly and
naturally fostered and encouraged this process.
Within the Centre many women are married, while others are single.
There is no stigma attached to either approach. With married women,
the attitude is taken that they will make progress through their
soul's connection with another person, and that they can run
together in the spiritual life with four arms and four legs. For
single women, such as myself, my personal feeling is one of
liberation. Liberation from dependence on a partner. Liberation from
society's dictates that one is incomplete without a partner and the
basic idea that the meaning of life is simply to find the perfect
relationship. Liberation from the pain of attachment,
possessiveness, expectation and demand that seems to develop so
easily in a relationship. Freedom. Freedom to express my inner
qualities without absorbing or being weighed down and shackled by
the problems of another human being in a close relationship. Freedom
to expand the love in my heart to all forms of creation rather than
focusing too much energy on a single person in a one-to-one
relationship. Freedom to experience the purity of divine love, to
strive to be united with the Supreme. The fact that in the Centre it
is fine - even positive - to be single, if that is your choice and
your preference, is in itself refreshing.
Sri Chinmoy has created a unique spiritual path with equal and
abundant opportunities for both women and men to achieve personal
growth and spiritual progress. It is a lifestyle infused with
culture and creativity, with much variety and many things to do. The
Centres around the world are quite possibly unique in that they
provide a very pure environment where people can focus on their
inner progress, as free as each individual is able to be from outer
distractions. A place where men and women can respect each other
based on their inner qualities rather than their outer appearances
and personalities, where they treat each other as brothers and
sisters and offer their higher qualities of concern, compassion, and
oneness rather than binding each other with limiting desires.
Before entering into the spiritual life I did feel incomplete. At
the time, I mistakenly thought that a relationship would fill the
void, but this only created a few more problems in my life. I was
seeking spirituality and meaning in life, and so entered into the
spiritual life, and found that void was replaced with love of God -
and the expansion of this divine love has become the goal of my
life. Seeing the expression of divine love, compassion, concern in
Sri Chinmoy serves as my inspiration. If one has not experienced
divine love it may be difficult to understand how superior it is to
ordinary human love! God loves us unconditionally and we reflect
this unconditional love back to God. Humanity has forgotten that the
world can only be transformed through pure love, that love is the
greatest power in creation. Without pure love, the brightest future
will remain a dream. With love, joy will return and joy will
transform the negative thought patterns and behaviour that devours
so much of our energy and life force.
In the world, it seems that men are releasing their hierarchies of
power and dominance, and making room for feminine softness, love,
wisdom and oneness, allowing women's natural abilities of
communication, listening, sharing and compassion to come to the
fore.
If people choose to label women in the Sri Chinmoy Centre as
repressed, etc., they are sadly mistaken with their limited
viewpoint, or perhaps they only seek to stand in the way of human
progress. Fortunately, the time has come when women - each one in
her own way - are being asked to step into the light of a new
consciousness, and to realise their most significant role...we are
ready and Sri Chinmoy will encourage us every step of the way.
#3085
From: sarah_mettrick
Date: Sat Mar 20, 2004 7:28 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
In response to your question "Is Sri Chinmoy Centre a safe place for
women?" My immediate response is "absolutely and completely".
My name is Sarah and I have been meditating with the Sri Chinmoy
Centre in Christchurch for nearly 3 years, since I was 15 years old.
In three ways I have learnt to guard myself against problems. The
first is by virtue of my meditation, the second prayer, and finally
by utilising my common sense.
With meditation, peace can be invoked. When I am seated in the heart
of peace, I am kept safe from my inner enemies such as jealousy,
fear, insecurity and depression. So in this way I am able to keep
safe. I have recently observed that "like attracts like", so if I
can meditate and feel peace and happiness, then happy and positive
people will enter into my life.
With prayer, I cry for protection. Sri Chinmoy uses the analogy that
when the child cries, the mother will come. In the same way, this
can be likened to someone sincerely praying to God for protection
and God immediately coming to the aid of His child. In the outer
world every precaution can be taken to keep safe, but with so many
potential mishaps, nothing can remain certain. Nothing, except one
thing: a higher protection, which comes from the Supreme, or the
Supreme inside the spiritual Master.
Finally by utilising our common sense and intuition we can protect
our outer safety. For example, it would not be wise for a girl to be
out on the city streets alone at night thinking "well God will take
care of me". While this is true, potentially bad situations can
easily be avoided just by using common sense.
Sri Chinmoy has suggested his students pray for protection; meditate
daily; and because he also cares for our personal safety and well-
being, to be sensible and take necessary precautions in avoiding
dangerous situations. While this may appear to an onlooker as
repressive, the reasons are only for the benefit of ourselves, and
in the long run for our own liberation.
Sarah M.
------------------------------------------------------------
#3086
From: gemma_anderson_nz
Date: Sat Mar 20, 2004 8:25 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
It is true that many people have strange ideas about others joining
spiritual groups, but if the individual is experiencing happiness
and satisfaction, should they not be given the freedom to make their
own choices?
I started meditating when I was 14 years old, and received so much
support from my sisters and brothers in the New Zealand Sri Chinmoy
Centres. With their help, I have been to New York six times to spend
time with Sri Chinmoy and my other friends from all over the world -
how many other 20 year olds from New Zealand have been so fortunate?
They have encouraged and supported me constantly, and with the
loving guidance of Sri Chinmoy's teachings, I feel the blossoming of
my inner strength, willpower, courage and gratitude.
In the Sri Chinmoy Centre, I find a positive environment where I am
able to bring forward my own inner divinity, to express my true
self. While I was still in school, it was difficult with the peer
pressure not to follow the crowds and live up to others expectations
of me, but meditation gave me the strength to follow my heart and be
true to my own feelings. This in turn has helped me develop my own
self-worth and self-esteem and taught me much about myself.
I am enjoying the journey, and look forward to the complete
unfoldment of my true potential.
#3087
From: sushmitam_r
Date: Sat Mar 20, 2004 8:39 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
---Thanks for bringing up this interesting issue!! And to all those
women who have replied, I must say that I share your experience of
the love, acceptance and freedom you have found on this path. I must
apologise in advance for my lengthy reply - this issue has sparked
lots of reflection for me! There was a time in my life when I would
have considered it a crime against womanhood to let International
Women's Day slip past almost unnoticed like it has this year! For
much of my early twenties I was involved in the grass roots feminist
movement - working in refuges for women who were victims of domestic
violence and other similar jobs, and in my spare time lobbying and
attending rallies on feminist and social issues. Injustice,
inequality and powerlessness of any sort incensed me, and women
clearly experienced these issues to a disproportionate degree.
Although I was interested in spirituality, social and political
action was my forte, and it would never have occurred to me that
there was a spiritual way of approaching such social problems.
How I have changed! My distaste of oppression and injustice is still
strong, but my response, inwardly and outwardly, is very different
these days. This change began initially as a result of seeking
assistance with my turbulent emotional life through therapy (a
process that I was also required to undertake as part of my
post-graduate psychotherapy training). My transformation has then
accelerated under Sri Chinmoy's guidance for the last 13 years.
There are so many ways that being a student of Sri Chinmoy has
shaped my life that I hardly know where to start! Perhaps with the
obvious! How could a staunch feminist have a male Guru?? Here we
come to the crux of my spiritual experience with Sri Chinmoy.
Because of his identification with God, meditating with him has
given me access to direct experiences of God. Impossible to
describe, and at the time profoundly shocking to my conscious mind,
these experiences have shown me that God and the individual soul are
way, way, way beyond outer duality like male and female. Struggles
between men and women, just like wars, poverty and other social
problems are by-products of our outer nature - those crazy layers of
thoughts, emotions & impulses that cover our beautiful soul. Being
catapulted by Guru into a realm of beauty and glory far removed from
these social problems has helped me to realise that as humanity
evolves, and collectively we become more conscious of our essential
divine nature, these problems will dissolve. So these days I prefer
to spend my energy on working to transform my own imperfections, and
helping others to do so by giving meditation classes and running a
meditation centre. I'm sure there is still a place for social action
within spiritual traditions (look at Vivekananda's work) but not for
me, right now.
Another impact of meditating under Sri Chinmoy's guidance has been
the transformation in my emotional life. Concerned about, but no
longer filled with constant rage about injustice, I can now see a
self-defeating aspect of much of the social and political action in
which I used to engage. Responding to aggression and injustice with
rage is just 'more of the same' - and so acts to continue the cycle
- like an escalating children's fight. Spiritual practice has shown
me that lasting change really must come from a change in
consciousness - I cannot facilitate outer peace or wise action
before I have these qualities within. Social and political action
generated from inner calm, equilibrium and love, works - Nelson
Mandela is a great example of this.
Interestingly, meditating with Sri Chinmoy has also brought out a
much more 'feminine' side of me! On reflection, I think that
previously I was constantly reacting to men rather than simply being
myself. With Guru I have actually been able to feel the reality of
women as 'equal but different', an experience previously theorised
about but somehow elusive in practice. As Sundari has said, Guru
encourages us all, whether male or female, to expand our capacities
and become much more than we ever thought we could be, whilst at the
same feeling at home with whatever gender we happen to be. In this
way, gender stereotypes are smashed to pieces! Who ever would
imagine that an angelic, sari wearing, sweetness-flooded woman like
Suprabha would run 3100 mile races year after year?
Now for the issue you raise of women who claim to have experienced
abuse. I've worked as a psychologist and psychotherapist for many
years now, so have quite a bit of experience in this area. I agree
wholeheartedly with your comment on the innocence and purity of
Guru's consciousness, which I think results in women feeling safe in
the centre and with Guru. I know there are some women on the path
who have had difficult or traumatic experiences with men when they
were living in the world, who have taken refuge in the safety
offered by the centre. It would be easy to conclude from this that
the centre functions for such women as a way of repressing these
experiences rather than working them through. This view of the
spiritual life is quite commonly held by secular people, and arises
from a fundamental lack of understanding about the inner work and
process of transformation involved in leading a spiritual life.
Whilst in the short term a person on our path can avoid dealing with
difficult personal issues, in the longer term the profoundly
transformative experience of meditating with Sri Chinmoy usually
means that we cannot stay with our repression for too long.
In my experience, any psychological issues that need to be dealt
with rear their heads once we are spiritually strong enough to deal
with them. They can then be worked through under Sri Chinmoy's
loving inner guidance. Usually when this happens there is a period
of struggle, which manifests outwardly, and we say to each other "Oh
she's just going through Stuff" (do the guys talk like this too?).
It is actually quite similar to the process involved in good
psychotherapy, but on a vastly different level. Mostly, the person
eventually works the issue through and is able to move on to the
next challenge. Just like in therapy and in life, some people get
stuck on a certain issue for a long time, and others leave the path
because it's just too hard to deal with it, or some part of them
actually likes the problem and doesn't want to resolve it. Guru
never forces us to resolve issues, he just provides us with the
inner assistance, and the safe and loving environment to enable us
to work them through.
(By the way, for anyone interested in reading about this process at
play in another spiritual path, read the book 'Unveiled - Nuns
Talking' by Mary Loudon - a superb first person account of the lives
of nuns in various Christian orders in the UK.)
Back to innocence and purity!! Yes it does seem to be that these
qualities are misperceived, misunderstood and attacked by the world.
Unfortunately this can sometimes arise from within a spiritual group
such as ours as well as from outside, particularly when someone is
struggling with issues in the way I described above. I remember an
experience I had when I was quite new on the path - a year or two
perhaps. I was overwhelmed by the love, the peace and the
experiences of God that I had gained on the path, but at the same
time was struggling with some of the lifestyle aspects of the path.
I realised at this time that my positive experiences far outweighed
my struggles and that I definitely did not want to leave the path.
However in dealing with this struggle, I came to the realisation
that if anything ever pulled me away from the path, the only way I
would be able to bear to leave, would be to destroy in my mind all
the positive experiences I had gained - otherwise the grief of
leaving would be completely overwhelming. Everything good would have
to be made bad, everything pure made impure, in order to justify to
myself such an action.
I have seen a number of people leave the centre over the years, and
in my experience, it is those, like myself who have had tremendously
positive experiences in their spiritual life, who resort to this
destructive measure - and often they publicise their opinions, as if
to further convince themselves they have left something 'bad' not
good. On the other hand, people who never got much out of the path
in the first place, just tend to drift away.
Lastly, I would like to say a word about the place of therapy in all
this! The issue of abuse and therapy is such a complex and
controversial one. It is well known in the psychological community
that some therapists encourage patients to 'dig' for abuse that was
never there, and that some patients completely unconsciously project
their own impulses and traumas onto others who they then believe
'abused' them. On the other hand, we all know that abuse is
widespread in our society. I am extremely fortunate and grateful
that, in my own therapy, which was ending as my life on the path
began, I had the assistance of a very understanding therapist who
challenged but always respected and valued my spiritual life and
affirmed the decisions I made in relation to it. Such therapists do
exist, but I suspect they are fairly rare!
Oh dear, I'm afraid I have been overly mental and analytical in
writing all this!! Perhaps I can summarise by saying joining Sri
Chinmoy's path has been the most fulfilling, freeing, life-affirming
decision I have ever made. Of course there have been struggles -
both within myself and with others, but I know that I have more than
enough help from Sri Chinmoy to deal with all these struggles.
Whilst I was never deprived of love before, my life is more filled
with love than ever before - a purified, unconditional love of the
sort I could only have dreamed of previously.
Endless gratitude to Guru for the blessings showered upon me on this
path!
------------------------------------------------------------
#3088
From: emma_d_nz
Date: Sat Mar 20, 2004 8:46 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
When we look at things from the outside, our vision may be blurred
by our own partial understanding. This is my experience. I came to
the Sri Chinmoy Centre six years after my sister. In that six years,
I had great respect for what Sri Chinmoy was doing and was pleased
that my sister was happy. Yet I was adamant that the Centre was not
for me. From my outside world, I decided it was a nice thing but
that it somehow escaped reality.
I continued through the majority of high school unhappy and
unfulfilled. Deciding it was New Zealand that was making me
depressed, I left the country at the age of seventeen. For the next
couple of years I worked my way around quite a few countries.
Unhappiness followed me. I tried out many different lifestyles,
sincerely giving happiness a chance in the ordinary world. There was
a constant voice inside telling me that I was fooling myself, and
spirituality would be the only answer to this maze. A giant
realisation dawned that I was the one who had been escaping reality.
To feel protected is not a crime. In this uncertain world, the Sri
Chinmoy Centre has provided me with a sense of belonging and
security that I never knew existed. It is a solid environment that
nourishes the soul with the encouragement and inspiration to grow.
Obviously problems in the secular world, such as abuse and
harassment, are apparent all over the globe. Some countries are much
worse than others. Each individual woman's case will differ. I
clearly see that the main abuse and harassment I was personally
issued with, came from myself in the form of insecurity. Deep-rooted
feelings of unworthiness are a frequent problem for women, and often
a cause for being in damaging relationships and situations. With the
guidance of a sincere spiritual teacher in conjunction with
meditation, prayer and a supportive environment, insecurity can be
liberated.
In the Sri Chinmoy Centre, I see a most significant and beautifully
painted dream, where a world of equality and happiness flow, as a
shining example to the world at large. Sri Chinmoy is the artist.
When you are inside this piece of art, or look at the picture with
your heart, questions of repression and safety fade away.
I have known. I have known that
few are those who want to be free from
the snare of ignorance. Fewer are
those who are willing to pay
the price, although they want to be free
~Sri Chinmoy
With gratitude, Emma
------------------------------------------------------------
#3092
From: arpan_deangelo
Date: Sun Mar 21, 2004 12:20 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
In response to original message number 3032 on March 19, 'Question
for the Women', and the replies that followed, I have to first
relate to the men who responded--Nayak and Salil--who pledged to
remain silent and wait to see the responses by the women.
After reading them all, I have to say in all sincerity I was
speechless, in a good way. Everyone in their own unique and sincere
way has expressed some very important aspect of being a woman in the
Centre that others can learn from both within the Centre and those
outside who are trying to understand, female as well as male.
When my sister or mother or some other women may ask me a question
about this area of concern to them, I will refer them to the
firsthand experience of these eloquent and sincere spiritual sisters
of mine. I do not want to get into specific examples of all the
illumining comments offered by the women who have responded so far.
I just wish to thank them briefly for their courage and concern in
taking time to express themselves on what could be at times a touchy
and somewhat personal subject.
Being of the male gender on the path, but growing up with a sister
and having studied Child Development in college where 95% of my
classmates were women, I must say that I highly respect these
personal comments and replies from my spiritual sisters. They are
very lucid and helpful to those of us who feel that this is an
important subject to address. Certain issues about being single on
the path and not being attached to a romantic relationship for
identity or security can also be applied to the men as well.
I do not know if there is an International Men's Day as there was a
Women's Day earlier in March. But nevertheless, I am sure there are
some men who wish to express their feelings of independence and
spiritual growth which can result from the inner guidance offered on
Sri Chinmoy's path as a single person or ideally in a spiritual
relationship with the opposite gender.
I would recommend those who find this an interesting and important
subject to read the replies offered by the women. I thought that it
would not be of interest to me until I started reading them out of
curiosity, but they have all added something quite important to our
understanding of spiritual women, especially on this uniquely
beautiful path of Sri Chinmoy's.
Sri Chinmoy himself expressed it quite nicely in the poem called "I
Think Love You", that was included in the original message:
> God, I think I love You.
> "Daughter, what is the proof?"
>
> God, this is the proof:
> You know, God,
> I do not live with ignorance
> Anymore;
> I do not play with doubt
> Anymore;
> I do not cry with fear
> Anymore;
> I do not eat with jealousy
> Anymore;
> I do not dance with despair
> Anymore.
>
> "Daughter, enough.
> You love Me
> And
> I love you.
> Be happy. Remain happy."
>
> -Sri Chinmoy
It would be great if we all could only feel this way all the time,
male or female.
Gratefully,
Your brother,
Arpan
------------------------------------------------------------
#3093
From: mayuri827
Date: Sun Mar 21, 2004 1:32 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
What a great question, and what eloquent responses! Part of me wants
to say, "What more can I add?" but I do want to express my opinion
as a woman who has been practicing meditation under the guidance of
Sri Chinmoy for the past 15+ years.
I think your question brings up two separate, but linked issues:
safety, and freedom/empowerment.
Usually when women think of safety, we think of it in physical
terms: I should not walk down this dark alleyway, I should not yell
back at this man because he might hit me, etc. I think Sarah said it
very concisely when she observed that we should try to focus on the
positive, because like attracts like, but not to the detriment of
common sense. Ideally (and ultimately) we will reach the stage where
our consciousness is so evolved that we will protect ourselves
simply by virtue of our state of being. Personally, I know that I am
still *very* far away from living in that state of consciousness, so
in the meantime, I will continue to utilize my common sense, pray
for protection, and do my best to avoid dark alleyways and abusive
relationships.
Emotional safety is a much more complicated issue. When you ask if
the Sri Chinmoy Centre is a "safe" place for women, I believe this
is what you mean. After all, if your main concern is physical
safety, you need not enter a life of spiritual discipline to achieve
it--you can simply put a deadbolt on your door! Sri Chinmoy himself
has said (I paraphrase here) that if your motivation for entering
the spiritual life is one of avoiding outer unpleasantness, it will
not serve you well in terms of making spiritual progress. You need
to have aspiration, the inner yearning that urges you to seek the
Supreme, however you conceptualize Him/Her/It. If a woman was once
physically and/or emotionally abused, or fears this happening, she
may attach herself to a community like ours which gives her a
feeling of safety. In my opinion, there would be nothing wrong with
this, but her sense of support would not last long if the group's
main focus was elsewhere. The Sri Chinmoy Centre does provide a
strong sense of community for those who choose to avail themselves
of everything it has to offer in an outer sense (and this
participation varies widely from member to member), but the real
motivator for those who remain on the path over the long term is the
spiritual relationship each person develops with Sri Chinmoy and the
guidance (s)he receives from him. It is primarily an inner
experience. The outer community is very important, but it is like
the sauce poured over your food--it tastes good, but will not
sustain you for long if it is all you eat.
Then there is the issue of freedom and personal empowerment. In this
respect, I can only say that I feel more empowered as Sri Chinmoy's
student than I ever dreamed possible! I agree with everything that
everyone else has said regarding this. I have never felt stigmatized
for being a woman within the Centre--on the contrary, I have
received tremendous emotional support as a person (not as "a girl"
or "a woman"), during both happy and difficult periods of my life.
And the very, very few times (I suppose I am lucky) that I have felt
negatively judged by people who were *not* members of the Centre for
trying to lead a spiritual life, it has had nothing to do with my
gender.
As a student of Sri Chinmoy, I certainly do not live a sheltered
existence! In fact, one of the things that specifically attracted me
to his path was his philosophy of involvement in the world. (I would
make a very bad world-renouncer--there is too much in it that I
love.) One of my own personal beliefs, which has been strongly
reinforced by Sri Chinmoy, is that you cannot run away from the
world--you must actively work to transform it, beginning with
yourself. All real, lasting change comes from the inside out.
Sri Chinmoy has pushed me out of my own comfort zone many, many
times--and the result has *always* been a positive one, helping to
me to transcend my own limitations. Someone might interpret this as
lack of protection, I suppose, but if the bird is never pushed from
its nest, how will it learn to fly? I have never felt unsupported or
unguided at these times--just nervous, as we all are, when moving in
new and uncertain directions, trying to expand our own capacities.
Sri Chinmoy has said (I am paraphrasing again) that the Supreme will
never give you a problem that He has not already granted you the
capacity to handle. On Sri Chinmoy's path I have achieved many
things that I never would have otherwise, and learned a great deal
about myself in the process.
#3094
From: nz_harita
Date: Sun Mar 21, 2004 3:44 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Before I joined the Sri Chinmoy Centre I was a self-proclaimed
feminist, and proud of it. I took some feminist studies courses at
University and read many books and articles by feminists. I felt the
cause was significant and justified, and admired women who stood up
for their beliefs.
The problem was that the more I dived into the world of feminism,
the more agitated and angry I became. My struggle for an ideal of
freedom and liberation through feminist values was leaving me
feeling more and more ostracised and frustrated by the world around
me. Discrimination was everywhere!
I am not down-casting feminism as such, but only my personal
experience of being a feminist. I believe that my past experiences,
founded on trying to become a "free woman", were based within the
confines of mental perceptions and judgement. My personal values
were not from my own heart, but were founded to a great extent on
the beliefs of other people. In the struggle for equality in a
male-dominated society, it became undeniably apparent that if there
was light at the end of this tunnel, it was a very long tunnel.
I am so grateful that I found the Sri Chinmoy Centre. From a
feminist perspective, the reality of having a male spiritual teacher
was quite testing at first, however I felt a whole new reality dawn
in my life. Some of my friends tried to dissuade me, but the
spiritual values of inspiration, love and true inner freedom were
undeniably light years ahead of what I was receiving from my
feminist ideology.
Meditation and Sri Chinmoy's path has radically changed my
perception of the world around me, enabling me to connect with my
own deeper wisdom and spiritual feelings, rather than adopting a
fixed belief system. I am no longer disturbed if I am treated in a
discriminating way in the outer world, because I feel my own value
so powerfully within myself and recognise that I am responsible only
for my own behaviour and not that of others. I have a far greater
love and understanding of the world, and see the inherent good in
all people because I am able to see beyond the surface.
I give all credit for my inner development to Sri Chinmoy. If I have
learned anything about the true value of being a woman, I have to
say that it is Sri Chinmoy who has given me this awareness. I
wholeheartedly agree with the woman who said that "leading a
spiritual life has empowered her." In no way do I feel repressed -
on the contrary, I have learned the true meaning of inner freedom
and strength. I think that a large part of the world is afraid of
spirituality, so they try to discount its value rather than try to
gain any deeper understanding of it.
Qualities like purity, innocence, sweetness and humility are given
little value in our society, and yet when we see them how beautiful
they are, how powerful they are! When we feel them within ourselves
how strong we feel, how happy we feel!
Sri Chinmoy has also taught me to be proud of my feminine qualities,
and to have respect for masculine qualities. The Supreme created man
and woman. We each have a significant role to perform here on earth,
in different ways. In the past men were perhaps given more
opportunity to develop spiritually, but now we each have equal
opportunity. I never even think about comparing males and females
anymore, our qualities are so different! Sri Chinmoy in particular
has no gender-based discrimination. He shows all his students
spiritual love, and encourages us to become one with our own souls,
the God-representative within us all. I remember hearing him say
once: "Every soul is so precious".
Is the Sri Chinmoy Centre a safe place for women? How could it
possibly be unsafe? In every way we are all - regardless of whether
we are male or female - nurtured and protected. Sri Chinmoy's
concern for our inner and outer safety is unprecedented and
sleepless.
Yes, I do feel protected in the Sri Chinmoy Centre, and for this my
gratitude is boundless. I feel a sense of protection in having Sri
Chinmoy as an unconditionally loving and caring teacher and friend,
to live in such a beautiful world with dozens of wonderful,
accepting friends, and to have the knowledge of living consciously,
in union with the Universal laws of righteousness, harmony and
oneness.
With deepest gratitude,
Harita
------------------------------------------------------------
#3096
From: sipra74
Date: Sun Mar 21, 2004 4:13 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Thank you for this inspiring and thought-provoking posting for
spiritual women.
I signed up to this group last year. However, until now I have not
posted. I joined the Sri Chinmoy Centre 30 years ago when I was 31.
I came to the spiritual life after having many life experiences.
Although opportunities had been placed before me to marry and have a
family - always I found myself avoiding this step in life. When I
joined Sri Chinmoy's path, he told me it was not necessary for me to
marry. When I heard this, I experienced a tremendous sense of relief
and felt liberated from the social pressures that are put upon women
to have a partner and children.
However, although I believed I had 'done it all' when I joined Sri
Chinmoy, he was able to show me that I had not even scratched the
surface of my potential. Through his gentle encouragement and
invitation to transcend our previous achievements, I was able to
experience so many things by bringing forward my inner spiritual
strength.
A few years after I joined the spiritual life, Sri Chinmoy announced
that he would like 100 of his students to run the New York City
Marathon. I was in Australia when I heard this, and immediately an
inner thrill let me know I had to be one of these Sri Chinmoy
participants. That year, which I believe was 1978, only 10% of the
entrants in the marathon were women. However, the Sri Chinmoy
contingent was composed of 50% women. This gave me a tremendous
feeling of pride that I belonged to an organization which encouraged
women in this way.
I noticed also that Sri Chinmoy encouraged his female students to
attempt inspiring activities that normally they would not do if they
had not joined the spiritual life. Often, women in the outer world
become so involved with family, children or career. They use this as
an excuse not to develop their own spiritual potential. I believe
the spiritual life can protect you from the illusion that you do not
have the capacity to achieve your own destiny both inwardly and
outwardly.
I work in the outer world, and come into contact with many women who
do not live fulfilled lives. They so often are on a roller-coaster
of emotional turmoil and insecurity. I am so grateful to have found
Sri Chinmoy half of my lifetime ago. He has allowed me to continue
to develop both my inner and outer life. Even when I make countless
mistakes and seriously neglect certain aspects of my life, he
remains patient and encouraging, never giving up on me, or for that
matter, on any of his female or male students.
On March 8th this year, the Sri Chinmoy Adelaide Centre opened a
cafe! So that is how we celebrated International Women's Day.
However, we were so busy we did not really notice. We have four of
Sri Chinmoy's Australian female students working there, and I
usually pop in early in the morning and again after I finish my
outer job. Please come and visit us next time you are in Adelaide!
Sri Chinmoy is a perfect role model for his students. He constantly
finds new projects and new ways to transcend. Constant newness in
his art, poetry and music flow from him. We remain happy when we
enter into this flow of newness. I would like to conclude this
posting with some of Sri Chinmoy's prayers from the recent Christmas
trip.
"God's will is not my master.
God's will is my eternity's partner."
"Life is an endless God-discovery adventure."
"I make no mistake when I tell the world that I am all God's.
I make no mistake when I tell the world that God is all mine."
"May my aspiration heart river run singing towards the ocean
unknowable."
#3100
From: dharmaja
Date: Sun Mar 21, 2004 10:02 am
Subject: A Book on Women's Spirituality, authored by YOU
I have read all of the posts on the "Question for the Women."
I suggest that the women of the Sri Chinmoy Centre throughout the
world should coordinate the publishing of a book on Women's
Spirituality.
The items that have been posted so far on this subject, plus
contributions from other women in the Centres, could be part of this
book. The book should be published in several languages.
Do not keep everything to yourselves! Let the whole world benefit.
With much thankfulness for your insights,
Dharmaja
Sacramento, California
------------------------------------------------------------
#3104
From: Suchatula
Date: Sun Mar 21, 2004 10:52 am
Subject: Re: Question for the Women from Suchatula
Thank you for your question. I do not consider myself a "writer",
but I was inspired to answer your question. I have been on Sri
Chinmoy's spiritual path for over 17 years now. That is nearly half
my life. I joined when I was 18 years old in December of 1986. I was
in my first year of college and did not really have a plan for my
life just yet. When I started reading Sri Chinmoy's books I was so
moved. I felt, "This person is a real holy and very spiritual
person." His philosophy struck me in an all-new way, and yet I felt
very familiar with it. This was something that I believed in, yet
was never taught, that the world is one and we are all God's
children, all at different stages in our spiritual evolution. The
question of safety never crossed my mind. In my heart I feel the
teachings of Sri Chinmoy are the truth. Over the last 17 years I
feel I have really grown up with Sri Chinmoy as my father and at
times as my dearest friend. One poem that has always struck me is:
In the universal heart, all hearts are one,
inseparable, I know.
Yet knowing this, I hurt the hearts of others
day and night.
We are all the slaves of fate;
I dances on our foreheads.
In peace sublime is the extinction-sleep of fate.
I know this secret.
O Jewel of my eye, pour into my heart
Your golden Silence.
I feel on Sri Chinmoy's Path, all his spiritual children, my
spiritual sisters and brothers, are trying to live in the universal
heart. There the question of safety is put to rest. I remember a few
years back my mother telling me that of all her children, I am the
only one she never has to worry about.
Gratitude to the questioner and all those who have inspired me to
reply with all their inspiring replies.
In oneness, Suchatula
------------------------------------------------------------
#3105
From: ahelee_sf
Date: Sun Mar 21, 2004 11:27 am
Subject: Question For The Women
I have been a student of Sri Chinmoy for 5 years.
I was 40 years old when I came to the Centre. I do not think I had
"problems" in the world that would lead me to a spiritual path. I
had lots of friends, great family, successful career and a thriving
competitive athletic lifestyle. People and challenges never scared
me. I like to think I even had a very tiny bit of spirituality mixed
in there too. Of course there were challenges with relationships and
responsibilities, but life was really pretty good...
I was given Sri Chinmoy's book, Beyond Within. Reading it took my
breath away. I had to put it down and breathe every few pages due to
the intensity that I felt. It was a philosophy that seemed buried
deep inside me that I had no idea existed. It was bubbling up and
every word rang true. Instead of feeling spiritual by attending
occasional weekly and holiday church services, God and serving His
Mission were suddenly very real and standing right in front of me.
There seemed to be a role for me.
My reason for coming to Sri Chinmoy's path and for staying is very
simple. Sri Chinmoy reminds me that God is in my life at every
moment and He has something for me to do here.
Deep down inside, we all know that God is with us at every moment.
There is no reason for fear. But Sri Chinmoy gives us ways to deal
with these "fears" if they do arise. I feel I have the choice to
conquer the fears that fall in my way.
I do not worry that people do not understand my choice of a
spiritual life. I do not have to convince them I am ok. I know one
day they will understand.
I have never felt that men do not like or appreciate me. I just do
what "someone" needs to get done, if it is something that I can do.
I was raised with 2 brothers. I have always been proud of their
strengths and good qualities, even though they did often drive me
crazy! Now I have thousands of brothers to be proud of and brag
about... and well yes, drive me crazy! But they also look out for me
like my 2 brothers always have.
I traveled quite alot in my life before the path. Met lots of new
people very easily and accomplished some very challenging projects.
But Sri Chinmoy always has a way of giving me something new and even
more challenging in my life! Sometimes, I have reacted with a
"WHAT??!!" But now, every time I get past those first seconds and
just focus, I end up with the smile of my very soul, shining right
through. Because it is the right thing and my small role in God's
Work.
All gratitude for finding my way to Sri Chinmoy and all of you.
_
Ahelee
San Francisco
------------------------------------------------------------
#3110
From: phoolanjaya
Date: Sun Mar 21, 2004 2:28 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
I would like to share my experience of being a student of Sri
Chinmoy over the last nine years, in response to your
thought-provoking questions on women in the Sri Chinmoy Centre.
I have found my practise of meditation as a student of Sri Chinmoy
has been very empowering and liberating in many ways. As my
meditation practise has deepened over the months and years, I have
noticed that my sense of identification with who I was and what I
was changed dramatically, as my spirituality became something very
strong, central and guiding in my life.
I remember before I started meditating, as a teenager I felt
disheartened and disgusted with the way women were displayed in the
movies, advertising and media that surrounds us in the outer world.
With that, of course, came a difficult pressure to conform to an
ever changing fashion where physical beauty was and still is the
rule of acceptance.
I knew in my heart though, that the deeper more fulfilling
experiences of life could not come from the details of what we look
like, what job we do, or achieving name and fame in the outer life.
What I have loved so much about the Sri Chinmoy Centre is it is an
environment where you are respected as a spiritual person,
regardless of your gender and personal details, and is a place where
you can really be yourself, your true self. As your meditation
develops, you experience and identify more and more with the real
part of yourself, your soul, and with that comes tremendous inner
strength, confidence and an ever growing happiness, inner beauty and
fulfilment that does not depend on your outer circumstances, as it
all comes from within.
What I love about the spiritual life is that it really puts you back
in touch with what is pure and natural within you. Sri Chinmoy as a
teacher has helped me so much to feel this within myself. It is a
feeling of being set free from the many painful things we learn in
the outer world that bind us, limit us, and prevent us from
achieving our highest potential.
I would like to conclude with some inspiring quotes from Sri
Chinmoy's book 'Beyond Within':
"The spiritual life is never an escape from reality. On the
contrary, the spiritual life is the conscious and spontaneous
acceptance of reality in its totality."
"The beauty of the soul is beauty unparalleled in the physical
world. This beauty inspires the outer world and fulfils the inner
world. This beauty makes us one with God's Soul, the Light infinite."
Phoolanjaya
New Zealand
------------------------------------------------------------
#3112
From: sunamitalim
Date: Sun Mar 21, 2004 2:36 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
How beautiful to be swept up by the soul-stirring stories of my
sisters! Your heartfelt responses are immortal, enlightening, and
indelibly inspiring--and forever so.
Your superlative contributions are reflected in Sri Chinmoy's
accolade:
Be it in art or literature,
Be it in scholarship or teaching,
Be it in administration and commerce,
Be it in service to society,
Be it in wifehood and motherhood,
Be it in philosophical quest or religious aspiration,
Be it even in spiritual realization--
woman is intended by the Supreme to bring the Divine Perfection to
earth. Every sphere and aspect of earth, its grossest needs as well
as its subtlest nuances, must feel the touch of woman's radiant
emanation.
Significantly, Guru also honors the unity and oneness of both
genders in this short essay: "Man and woman are at their best when
they give to each other not only what they have but what they are".
In Oneness-Sweetness,
Sunamita
------------------------------------------------------------
#3124
From: Kapila
Date: Sun Mar 21, 2004 10:41 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
After spending 16 years of my life as a student of Sri Chinmoy, I
can sincerely say that not only is the Sri Chinmoy Centre a safe
place for a woman, but also one that allows a woman to be true to
herself.
Since I was about 13 or 14 years old, I could clearly see how so
often the women I grew up around would compromise their beliefs to
keep peace in the family. They suppressed their dreams and their
opinions to live up to family and cultural expectations.
Over the years, I watched their light and life-energy slowly fade
away and their lives become nothing more than a mechanical routine.
I remember feeling even at a young age that no matter what, I had to
be true to myself. It was not enough for me to follow someone's
limited perception of truth without question.
It was this inner cry that catapulted me onto Sri Chinmoy's path at
the age of 22.
Sri Chinmoy always encourages us, his students, to dive deep within
through the practice of meditation, to discover our own truth and
our mission in life. He gives us a commonsense set of guidelines to
live by, and encourages us to test these guidelines in our own
lives.
To me Sri Chinmoy is an expert in the game of life. His philosophy
resonates perfectly with my own. This guidance is constantly leading
me back to my true self, and more and more I am finding that I am
dropping the masks created through my external conditioning and
settling very comfortably with myself.
This feeling is truly satisfying and liberating. One that makes me
proud to be a woman.
Sincerely,
Kapila
Brisbane, Australia
------------------------------------------------------------
#3125
From: natabara7
Date: Sun Mar 21, 2004 9:45 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
I was particularly taken by Sushmitam's lucid and revealing
comments on the topic of women in the Sri Chinmoy Centre. She
posed a question pasted below (her entire message is further
down):
"...we say to each other "Oh she's just going through Stuff" (do
the guys talk like this too?)."
If any of the guys want to refute or add to my observation, please
feel free to sound in.
In my opinion, the answer is a resounding yes. Everyone has
"stuff" to go through, and that definitely includes the guys.
Anyone who has spent even a little sincere time meditating,
whether on a path or on their own, can attest to the fact that
meditation brings about clarity -- a clear and sometimes striking
awareness about one's own inner issues and "junk".
We're all human, and we all have good and bad qualities inside us
that we carry wherever we go in life, and meditation helpfully
turns on the light to show us our glowing qualities as well as
what we have to work with and clean up -- both of which we can
either embrace or run away from.
It's both a blessing and a curse, depending upon which way you
want to look at it.
It's my observation that a spiritual master is integral in helping
us deal with this junk, and serves as a powerhouse of constant
encouragement to help us "clean our own room". However, at times
the compassion of the master calls on a higher power to help clean
our room for us. I feel this is Grace, and I have seen a lot of it
flowing in both my life and the lives of my friends and family on
Sri Chinmoy's path -- both women and men alike.
>From my humble perspective, Sri Chinmoy has created a very healthy
and encouraging environment for both men and women to seek their
true spiritual and human potential in a very accelerated way.
Regardless of gender, I have personally seen countless precious
moments where Sri Chinmoy has helped and encouraged, laughed and
cried with his students, whom he treats as cherished members of
his own family. I believe anyone who has had the opportunity to
experience this compassion and concern can attest to such
inspiring warmth and affection.
#3130
From: sushmitam_r
Date: Sun Mar 21, 2004 10:53 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
--Hi everyone! Just a quick note to say I am absolutely loving
reading everyone's responses to this question!!! Keep them coming! I
find I'm rushing to my computer before I head off to work, and again
after work, just to see who has replied and what they are saying! It
is so inspiring to hear how each of us experiences the benefits of
the spiritual life. I rather like the idea of a book written by us!
in oneness, Sushmitam
------------------------------------------------------------
#3146
From: Kakali
Date: Mon Mar 22, 2004 8:22 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
As a female student of Sri Chinmoy, who lives in what is considered
the 'local area', I'd like to briefly respond to the question you
asked in this message: "Is the Sri Chinmoy Centre a safe place for
women?" My personal experience (after 25 years), is a resounding
YES!!! My Guru, Sri Chinmoy, right from the very beginning of my
spiritual life on his path, has been constantly, with utmost love
and compassion, giving me opportunity after opportunity to discover
and uncover the highest and best within myself, which I consider to
be God.
To undertake the quest for God, I feel one must be open and ready
for any and all experiences and challenges which are deemed
necessary by a spiritual Master of Sri Chinmoy's caliber. I have
always been out in the world my whole life, and I really never cared
about or was affected by what others thought about my personal
spiritual quest. For me, my decision to 'stick close to the Sri
Chinmoy Centre' is not out of any need to feel protected, although I
have to say that as Sri Chinmoy's student I have always felt totally
protected and utterly safe. Rather, I only know and care about the
fact that my Guru, in an unbelievably loving, compassionate and
patient way, has ONLY and ALWAYS been a direct conduit of the
Supreme for me, worthy of my absolute and total trust, love and
respect.
In the deepest part of my being, I know that the spirituality of Sri
Chinmoy's path is truly authentic, and that anyone, male or female,
who is truly seeking the Absolute Supreme in their lives, can safely
feel that he/she will be lovingly guided according to their
individual bent and needs. In millions of ways throughout the years,
I have seen and felt Sri Chinmoy's authenticity ring true.
I am truly grateful for this opportunity to express these feelings,
and doing so has re-inspired me and reminded me of just how
supremely fortunate I have been. I hope that I can remain so for the
rest of my life.
My love to all of you,
Kakali Atkin
------------------------------------------------------------
#3152
From: nanditajp
Date: Mon Mar 22, 2004 10:58 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Safe - free from harm, injury or risk. "Safe" comes from the Latin
word "salvus" meaning whole or healthy.
Sri Chinmoy's Path encompasses all of these meanings for women or
men. It is an environment free of harm, harassment or risk. It is a
whole and healthy environment.
I became a student of Sri Chinmoy over 30 years ago. Having had
positive experiences with other spiritual paths (Catholicism,
Judaism, Transcendental Meditation and Theravada Buddhism), my first
reaction was that Sri Chinmoy did not "need" anything from me. He
did not need me to add to his numbers of followers. He did not need
my admiration or my flattery. He did not need my money. This
impression has remained and has been reinforced in a million ways.
Here was not an ego that required feeding in any way. I felt trust
and faith--and to add the word used in your query: "safe". I have
never seen that trust, faith and safety compromised in any way by
this pure, innocent and loving consciousness that I gratefully call
my spiritual teacher. Nor have I ever seen it broken with others.
The Sri Chinmoy Centre has been a uniquely safe place for me as a
woman, for my husband and for my children.
I have seen others break faith with their own spirituality. I have
seen others veer in other directions. I have seen others drift away.
I have seen others "take a break" for a while and return. I have
seen others find something that worked better for them. But, I have
never seen Sri Chinmoy break trust with anyone whether they were his
student or not. There is real spirituality in this world, and Sri
Chinmoy is one of its representatives. Yes, people throw the "ink of
their mind" on it, but that does not diminish it in any way.
As for the many ways that Sri Chinmoy has encouraged and "empowered"
women, my sisters have replied much more eloquently. I am grateful
for your query.
#3163
srichinmoyinspiration
Date: Mon Mar 22, 2004 2:52 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
I'd like to strongly echo Sushmitam's comments. I too am absolutely
riveted by this discussion. Thanks to all the women who are making
such amazing contributions. I would like to give you all virtual
flowers for your courage!
If there are new members who would like to share their thoughts, but
are feeling a little shy, please feel welcome to contribute. Each
soul is different, and each person's experience is different. There
is always room for you to add your own unique voice.
Sometimes I think we just assume there is understanding out there in
the world that Sri Chinmoy Centre is a place where people lead a
life rooted in prayer, meditation and service, and that it's a safe
place to be--a place where people have consciously chosen to be. But
if you're a member of a spiritual minority, sometimes you may be
defined in ways that aren't all that accurate. There are media
stereotypes that people are "brainwashed" and made to do wrong
things, etc. ...
This is an opportunity not just for creative sharing, but for
setting the record straight. We don't discuss these topics every
day, but since we have begun, I agree with Sushmitam to keep the
responses coming!
I asked the original question, but if any of the women would like to
expand or refocus the discussion, I'm sure that would be most
welcome.
Since the posts are scattered among many other topics, in an
upcoming message I will post a digest of the discussion so far. I
hope this will help people gather their thoughts.
Assistant Moderator
------------------------------------------------------------
#3164
From: katec_nz
Date: Mon Mar 22, 2004 3:20 pm
Subject: RE: question for women
The spiritual life is not an escape from reality, but is rather the
embrace of life, in all it's beauty and wonder as well as it's
anguish and struggle. When you enter into the spiritual life, there
is no man, no woman. The highest reality--that is, the soul--is the
only thing that exists, it is all that matters.
As humanity evolves, it is transcending old values, barriers and
prejudices. I feel that the Sri Chinmoy Centre is leading the way in
this spiritual revolution. Whereas once women were standing up for
their basic human rights, they are now given the opportunity in the
life arena to fight not against their brothers, but against the true
enemy: human ignorance.
Sri Chinmoy has empowered and honoured me by offering me not only
the opportunity to fight in the battle against ignorance, but also
the tools needed to conquer the undivine forces which are constantly
assailing humankind. He has also given me the assurance that he will
always be there for me, to guide me and protect me and ultimately
lead me to victory.
I feel much safer now than I did when I lived in the secular world.
I understood nothing--I was constantly searching, and at the mercy
of my own insecure and fickle mind. Looking for meaning in the outer
world was like looking for a needle in a haystack. Immediately when
I joined Sri Chinmoy Centre, I felt safe, embraced, loved and
nurtured. I felt I had found my real home.
Gratefully,
Kate
------------------------------------------------------------
#3172
From: vasudha_sd
Date: Mon Mar 22, 2004 7:38 pm
Subject: Re: Question for Women
Here is my response to the question posed by the moderator, "Is the
Sri Chinmoy Centre a safe place for women?" The answer is yes! Yes
for all the reasons that my spiritual sisters have already outlined
in the previous postings, and yes for a multitude of other reasons.
Following are a few of my thoughts on the subject. (I planned on
writing a brief reply, but as you can see I was not able to do it!)
Sri Chinmoy has pioneered a path in which women can be dynamic,
active, intelligent and powerful while at the same time maintaining
a very deep and pure spiritual life. For millennia, spiritual women
have been disallowed from playing a strong role in the outer world.
Now, however, we are encouraged to bring forward the full force of
our capacities so that they can be utilized for the manifestation of
the Supreme.
Most women today define and fulfill themselves either through their
family life (husband and children) or through their careers. I do
not think that there is anything wrong (or second-rate) with either
of these roles, but I am just so grateful that there is now a third
choice. Some women simply don't want these things, and as students
of Sri Chinmoy we are able to contribute to humanity in many
meaningful ways without having to conform to mainstream roles that
feel constricting.
The Centre protects us from the superficiality and materialism that
pervades modern life in the Western world. This is not to say that
we are entirely immune to the attraction of materialism, but because
of Sri Chinmoy's presence and unparalleled manifestation, it becomes
very easy for us to choose a higher experience--one that cannot be
offered by any material achievement or mundane experience. In the
absence of this alternative, many women in the secular world make
poor choices, and as a result suffer continual unhappiness.
The strict guidelines Sri Chinmoy has put in place regarding
interaction between the men and the women of the Centre add to my
feeling of safety. The socialization that takes place in most other
groups with a high concentration of single men and women leads to
the inevitable result: They view each other as potential romantic
partners. But because Sri Chinmoy has drawn the line very clearly,
and because we have all experienced the true spiritual benefits of
this way of life, the women can have a multitude of "brothers" and
can feel safe from any unwanted advances.
The surest sense of safety that we feel is the very real experience
of a higher consciousness and a deeper understanding of what it is
to be fully alive. The highest beauty offered by the human
experience is that of feeling God, serving God, pleasing God, and,
little by little, realizing God. By living in this communion every
day (some days more than others), we experience an impenetrable
security--one that transcends mundane experience. We are constantly
reminded by the inner voice that no matter what happens in the outer
world, we are safe and secure in the heart of our Master.
One thing that may surprise the men who are following the postings
on this topic is that many women disciples, myself included, really
love wearing a sari. It is a beautiful, modest, spiritual garment
that reminds the woman wearing it that she is first and foremost a
spiritual seeker. When I put on a sari, I instantly become more
conscious of my inner life and more inspired to aspire and serve.
OK, that's enough from me (at least for now)!
In Oneness,
Vasudha
------------------------------------------------------------
#3173
From: mrinali_clarke
Date: Mon Mar 22, 2004 7:46 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
I have been a student of Sri Chinmoy for almost 18 years and would
like to reply to the question "Is the Sri Chinmoy Centre a safe
place for women?"
You have posed an interesting question and it can be answered both
yes, and no, depending on what you mean by 'safe'. If you are
talking about the old notion that women need protection yes, it is
a safe and protected community where young girls and women can learn
and safely practice the spiritual life. At the Sri Chinmoy Centre,
women can be nurtured spiritually and encouraged to live a life of
simplicity and purity without being affected by the world's often
confusing and degrading depiction of the female image. However, if
you expect that by becoming a member, a woman will remain insecure,
vulnerable and unchanged then, surprisingly no, it is not that kind
of environment 'escape' for women, nor for men. Therein lies the
conundrum: they will grow in strength, enormously.
The Sri Chinmoy Centres of the world are opening a new path for
humanity. They are teaching generations of young women to live for
their own spiritual fulfillment and actualization, unhindered by the
filtering system of age-old texts of religious dogmas, or their
ministries, who have often been known to give women a subordinate
role, or no role at all. Large numbers of girls and mature women
have independently and voluntarily decided to pursue Sri Chinmoy's
spiritual path of meditation, enlightenment and God-Realisation, in
a way that previous generations could only dream of, or arguably did
not allow in the West, nor the East.
For myself, being brought up in the 1960's, I expected to search for
truth and happiness and to live a fulfilling life, in spite of a
very troubling family background. Yet there always was something
missing in my life, a vacuum, a lack of inner satisfaction no matter
what I achieved. Society has taught us to fill this up as quickly as
possible with outer things, but I now recognize it in other people
too: it is spiritual hunger. Being a student of Sri Chinmoy has made
sense of my world, filled in the gaps and questions left by religion
and philosophy, provided spirituality not as a belief system, but as
an experience, and given deeper meaning to my life.
My chosen discipline has brought strength to my good qualities, and
diminished my faults, given me direction, and helped me to raise
another human being in a most rewarding and positive way. Given a
free choice from an early age, my son has always chosen to follow
the path of Sri Chinmoy. I feel that Sri Chinmoy's vast writings are
a gold mine waiting to be discovered by a spiritually starved world.
He has taught me that the world is in turmoil merely because of
forgetfulness of who we really are, and that to heal the world we
have to increase our love and respect for the divinity inside each
other.
There are many societies in the world that have troubling or tragic
relationships between men and women, not just in the West. Many
international cultural practices, crimes against women, as well as
media and billboard images of women that we are presented with, are
just as confusing, demeaning and dehumanising for men as for women.
They provide another barrier to finding the sacred heart in
ourselves, and each other.
In searching for new ways to be in the world, both women and men
have made many mistakes. But Sri Chinmoy's new path has taught me
how to develop a personal relationship with the soul. This changes
your view, it gives you a confidence in the spiritual basis of life,
and gives so much hope for the future. I feel that it is only
through the practice of meditation that we can begin to value each
other in the way Sri Chinmoy sees us, as entities of the divine. I
am eternally grateful to Sri Chinmoy for the privilege of being one
of his students.
God tells us repeatedly
That each individual
Is a representative
Of God Himself. ~ Sri Chinmoy
Today's hope will be
Tomorrow's realities.
Tomorrow's realities
Will surprise humankind. ~ Sri Chinmoy
#3177
From: salil_wilson
Date: Mon Mar 22, 2004 9:53 pm
Subject: Vasudha and wearing saris
Vasudha's comments
> "One thing that may surprise the men who are following the
> postings on this topic is that many women disciples, myself
> included, really love wearing a sari."
Why would that surprise the men or this man at least? You wear them
so much I would hope you would enjoy it.:)
#3180
From: Prema
Date: Mon Mar 22, 2004 10:57 pm
Subject: From PREMA - Re: Question For The Women
Interesting question.
If we consider "safe" as being free to proceed without fear of harm
in any form--be it physical, mental, emotional or psychic--then I
have never known a safer place.
As students, we are not all highly evolved spiritual beings--yet. We
come to the path as we are, with our hopes, our misconceptions, our
dreams, our egos, our aspirations, our various cultural and racial
backgrounds. Conflicts are inevitable. Though rarely intense
outwardly, internal struggle, confusion, even fears are part of
life. To face each issue as it arises--to enter the heart of the
matter, understand and transcend--is to make true spiritual
progress; to come closer to one's own soul, one's true self. The
Supreme (or whatever you choose to call the cosmic source) gives us
all equal opportunities to transcend our current limitations.
How many times--being overwhelmed by layers of confusion, anger,
physical discomfort, indignation, self-depreciation, and God knows
what else--have I been inwardly inspired to pray for guidance and
ask for help? Each and every time, within a matter of minutes, I've
been shown the core of the matter, understood, embodied the truth of
it and transcended into a deeper peace. Facing one's own ignorance
can be quite challenging. They say only the strong survive. I
believe only the truly sincere can survive and continue the journey
to the soul.
So, how did and do I find that inner courage (sincerity) to face the
truth whatever it is? From Sri Chinmoy's unceasing inspiration,
encouragement, inner guidance and yes, love. Also, from the
companionship of my brothers and sisters who provide an environment
relatively free of the harsher elements of the material world.
Having had many and various experiences (within and without) in my
twenty-three years on this path, do I feel safe? Unequivocally,
unconditionally, and confidently, I say yes.
Prema
San Francisco
------------------------------------------------------------
#3182
From: sushmitam_r
Date: Mon Mar 22, 2004 10:57 pm
Subject: Re: Question for Women for Vasudha esp!
-Hi Vasudha
I couldn't resist replying - I'm hooked on this site and especially
this topic! I would never have thought of bringing up the sari
issue, but I totally agree! I'm not sure if others are surprised or
not, but it's true - I also love wearing saris! In fact, I love
wearing saris so much I wear one every day to work in my government
job. I do it to help my consciousness at work, and also because it
totally protects me from unwanted interest from men! I noticed a
huge difference in the way my work mates treated me the first day I
wore one (probably 6 years ago now). People at work apologise if
they swear in my presence now, and warn me if they're going to talk
about something that they think I wouldn't want to hear. It's great!
#3185
From: manifestationdream (Fiona)
Date: Tue Mar 23, 2004 4:06 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Thank you for your post following International Women's Day, which
has prompted me to spend some time reflecting on how deeply Sri
Chinmoy has impacted my life over the last nearly twelve years, and
just how much I have to be grateful for.
When I turned 21, there was so much about my life that I loved--but
still my heart called for something deeper and more fulfilling. By
my 22nd Birthday I had begun meditating, and to my extreme joy had
been accepted as a student of Sri Chinmoy. Immediately my feeling of
being 'alive' catapulted to a new height. I had attended other
spiritual Centres, but for me Sri Chinmoy had the missing and most
important piece to my life's puzzle.
Twelve years ago (and every day since), Sri Chinmoy has been a
perfect, faultless example from whom I learn so much every day. He
is what I aspire to become: a perfect instrument of God. As you
know, Sri Chinmoy believes that the perfection of human nature is
not only a possibility but also an inevitability. Lovingly and with
endless concern, Sri Chinmoy constantly shows me how to expedite
this inevitability in my own life.
Before accepting the spiritual life, I forever oscillated between my
mind's confusion jungle and my heart's dreams and aspirations. Over
the years, Sri Chinmoy has taught me how to listen to and trust the
most important thing in life: my heart's aspirations. The Sri
Chinmoy Centre has provided the most beautiful and fruitful
environment for me to pursue my aspirations: I want to love and
serve God and all His children--in the form of humanity.
Sadly it is true, every day thousands and thousands of innocent
women suffer terribly. Before accepting the spiritual life, learning
of such suffering would break my heart. I would feel helpless and
wish that in some way I could help. Now when I hear tragic news, my
heart suffers perhaps more than ever--but I no longer feel helpless.
The spiritual life reveals to us the importance and the power of
prayer and meditation. So firstly, with my heart's tears, I pray and
meditate intensely knowing God is with me. Secondly, with renewed
vigor and determination I resolve myself to love and serve the world
with all my heart and a brighter smile, so I can--in my own little
but special way--bring joy into this suffering world. Sri Chinmoy
has helped me to see that I and every individual can make a
difference.
>From a personal point of view, I have also learnt the importance of
praying for protection. How many miracle stories have we all heard
of how prayers for protection have saved our friends from dire
circumstances? I myself can personally recall numerous experiences
where a call for God's protection has saved me from what clearly
could have been infinitely worse situations. And what about all the
times God's protection has been there and I have not been conscious
of it!
As we can read in many of the hundreds of volumes of Sri Chinmoy's
writings, the spiritual life can never be an escape from the world.
Sri Chinmoy constantly advocates the necessity of accepting the
world, in order to transform the suffering of the world--but first
we have to transform our own lives. The Sri Chinmoy Centre is a
worldwide spiritual family supporting one another to focus on the
brightest, most positive part of our being, so we can manifest our
hope of also inspiring others in their own way to do the same. What
could be more beautiful?
On a final note: When I think of world suffering, I wonder what
spiritual Masters like Sri Chinmoy--who are infinitely more
identified with God's children than I am--go through. In Sri Chinmoy
Answers, Part 31, he writes: "'Mind your own business' does not
apply to spiritual Masters. Why did Jesus Christ suffer? What kind
of evil did he do? He did nothing. When a spiritual Master of his
calibre takes human incarnation, his suffering starts. When you
identify yourselves with others, your suffering increases."
But then, the reward is the Supreme's Smile. If the Supreme sees
that I am identified with you, with him, with her, with everyone's
suffering, then He gives me a Smile, because I am doing His
work...It is all oneness, oneness, oneness.
#3196
From: wendymet827
Date: Tue Mar 23, 2004 1:56 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Thank you for the question to the women. You asked how the
experience of being a student of Sri Chinmoy has shaped our lives,
and you supposed that many women stick close to the Sri Chinmoy
Centre because we feel protected here.
My personal experience began 10 years ago. I came to this path as a
skeptic, on the verge of believing that happiness was an
unobtainable dream. My mind could not comprehend that attitude of
Divine love and acceptance that my heart felt emanating from Sri
Chinmoy.
Over the years my mind has begun to believe what my heart has had
the wisdom to know all along!
"Feeling protected" does not begin to explain why I am still on this
path. My experience has been one of continually discovering
storehouses of strength and love which have been hiding beneath my
many layers. These layers are being gently peeled off by spiritual
practice and guidance. I have begun to embrace those aspects of my
femininity such as intuition, empathy and compassion which are often
downplayed in the American business culture.
Although I work in a corporation and have many friends that are not
students of Sri Chinmoy, I do have a sense of protection--but the
protection isn't necessarily a quality I feel coming from without.
As I become more and more self-aware on this path, I feel
spiritually grounded and strong in my every day life. I know that at
the base of this feeling is the example of Sri Chinmoy. His purity,
combined with his acceptance and love of me as one of his students,
feeds and frees me in such a way that I am able to explore and
display more of my true self.
I love it here! To me, having Sri Chinmoy as a spiritual teacher is
as close to Paradise as I can get in the Earthly realm.
Wendy Metzler
San Diego
------------------------------------------------------------
#3197
From: Lucy
Date: Tue Mar 23, 2004 3:57 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
It is a supremely beautiful life for women on Sri Chinmoy's path. We
are freed from many of the limiting expectations of women that
prevail in the world, and encouraged to bring forward our unique and
divine qualities. I feel that our lives become increasingly simple,
pure and beautiful.
There is an affectionate family feeling in our centres which
nurtures our spiritual aspirations, but because we are all living
and working out in the world, we can hardly be said to have
retreated into 'safety'. We are often brought face to face with
ourselves and have to transcend our previous limits and attitudes to
walk forward along our chosen, sunlit path.
#3201
From: julie_pedley
Date: Tue Mar 23, 2004 1:37 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Acceptance. I believe this is something we all want. We mould
ourselves to the individual person we think we are, wanting only to
fit in and be accepted by others. To find our own kind.
I developed my own basic spiritual beliefs relatively early on in
life. I have strong moral beliefs which I have maintained through
some difficult times. These beliefs made me stand out in the crowd.
I never had very many friends - only a few sincere ones. I never
sought to be popular, just to uphold my beliefs no matter what the
cost to me in this life.
Coming from a small New Zealand town, it was very hard to find
like-minded people, so I found myself lonely for a long time.
Eventually I moved to a slightly bigger town and found much the same
- ridicule for standing up and being counted, looking different,
trying to have honest fun. Being 'myself' was not acceptable. I
adapted enough to blend in a bit more. Still lonely and searching.
Through the martial art of Tae Kwon Do, I met my husband, such a
gentle soul. My loneliness was no more but still I felt empty.
Then we moved to Christchurch. We came on a one-way ticket with a
backpack each, a little money and a campsite booked for 3 weeks. We
knew no-one. By the second week we found what was to be our little
'haven', The Lotus-Heart Cafe :) Over the next few months the
Supreme blessed us in so many ways, showing us we were doing the
right thing. Jobs and accommodation, even transport solutions fell
into our laps. We became increasingly curious about The Lotus-Heart,
more specifically about the people who worked there. The Lotus-Heart
has the most divinely peaceful feeling about it and all the people
working there are so genuinely happy (I wanted to work there too but
I knew there was something special that I did not have yet). We went
along to the first series of meditation classes held in 2003, and
have been regulars ever since.
I now feel totally accepted, by a universal family of beautiful
people with the same ideals as myself. I have never known so many
friends, all genuine, supportive and inspirational. I am slowly
shedding the shields I built up over the years to protect myself (my
'true' self) from today's world. I love to sing, so I sing with all
my heart.
I had been working in the field of engineering for about 10 years,
which is very hard for a woman. This past year, with a new company,
I was mocked for being vegetarian, for not wanting to hurt animals
and for drinking herbal tea! From being a student of Sri Chinmoy
over this time, I came to realise that I no longer need to fight the
hostilities within the industry and environment. I recently left my
engineering job which had a very promising future for me outwardly,
to follow my heart. I am now studying full-time at craft art,
something I am very passionate about and good at. It is harder work
on many levels, but I am supremely happy as I am following my heart
and listening to my true self.
The Sri Chinmoy Centres are more than just safe places for women.
They are nurseries where you are able to grow and unfold like a
blossoming lotus flower to find your true colours and true nature.
#3204
From: Devaki
Date: Tue Mar 23, 2004 4:53 pm
Subject: Women
I just joined this discussion group, having had no idea these kinds
of very deep, thought-provoking and moving dialogues were going on!
To all my sisters and brothers around the world, I am so impressed
by your eloquence, clarity and moving testaments to how Sri Chinmoy
enriches all our lives whether we are female, male, single or
married.
I am one of the rare ones who got married on the path (30 years
ago), and have seen so many changes over the years. As Guru clearly
saw the potential for women on the path to feel completely safe,
secure, and dare I say 'empowered', he changed the path's direction.
It was no longer a social club, as it had been for some, but a
serious path to inner enlightenment where all could feel directed,
motivated and supported by both men and women, without the threat of
compromising their spirituality.
On the other hand, for those who were married as I was, it was a
place where Guru supported the equality of both male and female, and
treated them as individuals and as one (whatever was necessary for
the individual's growth). I think it has always been clear in all
disciples' minds that spirituality comes first, and each individual
needs his or her own experience for spiritual progress. God and Guru
have always come first for both of us, and I am grateful for that
every day. I am also grateful to the single women for their
incredible strength and independent spirits. Whatever our status, we
are all Guru's children, and under his loving care we are able to
grow and change and hopefully realize God. Keep that inspiration
flowing!
#3207
From: prashanta_cunningham
Date: Tue Mar 23, 2004 1:46 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Hi everyone,
I have been a student of Sri Chinmoy for nearly 30 years now, and am
deeply grateful for the opportunity to express my thoughts about a
life I have been privileged to lead.
It is such a rare opportunity to experience a different way of
living where one's inner joy, happiness and sense of oneness
overflows into the outer life. As a woman, my life has taken on a
new meaning...it is a freedom that I have been given to choose a
purer, simpler way of living.
For me, this is entirely normal--aspiring, and trying to be positive
and happy in everything that I do. Meditation creates purity in the
mind and this can flow into all parts of the being, if nurtured.
Sri Chinmoy, my beloved Teacher, has always encouraged us to be
childlike in spirit and to retain the purity and joy of a child. I
cannot really express in words how grateful I am to him for showing
me that there is indeed a different way.
I always knew as a young girl, that there had to be something more
to life than what I saw around me...some goal, some true meaning,
and I have found it on this Path.
With gratitude,
Prashanta
Melbourne, Australia
------------------------------------------------------------
#3215
From: dsiegel_smiling
Date: Wed Mar 24, 2004 12:08 am
Subject: Re: Question for Women
Vasudha has offered a very well-written and engaging response. These
points add another dimension to the Sri Chinmoy Centre that many
casual observers overlook.
It is absolutely true that Sri Chinmoy's spiritual lifestyle offers
an opportunity for us, in this new century, to choose an alternative
that accepts the very best aspects of humanity and strives to
transform its weaknesses. Indeed, Sri Chinmoy has come to the West
not out of hesitation, nor disgust for our society. A spiritual
master sees and feels the strengths and limitations of our present
human condition. He offers a practical outlet where we can focus on
the positive and higher ideals that each human being strives for.
Although the spiritual life is still viewed as an "alternative", yet
it may ultimately merge into mainstream living in the near future.
One only has to look at the women's movement in the last fifty years
to subscribe to this possibility. Far more surprising and
unpredictable events we have witnessed in our lifetime.
The light of Sri Chinmoy offers a beacon of hope for many who are
pushed and pulled by forces they may not see or understand. It is a
great comfort, and a greater protection.
David Siegel
------------------------------------------------------------
#3223
From: tirtha_di
Date: Wed Mar 24, 2004 5:48 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
It took me some time to answer, because I never found myself in a
particularly difficult situation concerning women and the spiritual
life.
I count myself extremely lucky, for I have been brought up with
sprituality. My parents joined Sri Chinmoy's path when I was 8 years
old - 24 years ago.
It must have been my childlike heart that, from the very beginning,
just loved Sri Chinmoy and his entire path. I was very proud and
happy to be his disciple, and that security throughout my whole life
has continued to protect me.
Especially as a teenager, it is a challenge to not follow the
mainstream, but I believe that through my inner and outer love for -
and confidence in - my spritual life, I was respected by my peers in
every way. (I was never "preaching" or telling much about my
spiritual life, when I knew it was not well understood.) When
classmates used to say: 'You are somewhat unapproachable, yet you
are everybody's friend', I would answer with a silent smile, for I
knew it was my Master's guidance and my soul's strength that kept me
focused on what I wanted most, which was the spiritual life.
Women might join the Centre for different reasons, but my
observation is that you can find in Sri Chinmoy whatever you are
looking for - or crying for deep inside your heart. Alone, the fact
of receiving guidance from a living spiritual Master is so precious
and unique. True, without experiencing it, one is not able
understand what others describe.
Of course, you need great perseverance, patience and willingness for
transformation, but the more you dedicate yourself to your real
inner longing, the more you will be protected. With your goal
constantly before your eyes, and your full acceptance of a true
Master - in this case Sri Chinmoy - you cannot be misled on the
road, and cannot be taken away.
In gratitude for being able to contribute,
Tirtha
------------------------------------------------------------
#3234
From: Kylie
Date: Thu Mar 25, 2004 3:00 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
"When we have a Master, when we are in his boat, we are safe.
Everybody will reach the Goal sooner or later, but if we consciously
and intensely aspire, we will undoubtedly reach the Goal sooner than
those who are still asleep." -Sri Chinmoy (Realisation-Soul and
Manifestation-Goal, 1974)
How has my experience of having Sri Chinmoy as my spiritual Master
changed and shaped my life? In so many ways. I feel incredibly
grateful that 8 years ago, as a young woman who'd just turned 20, I
was one of the fortunate ones to be awakened out of the sleep-state
of ignorance by discovering the Sri Chinmoy Centre at a perfect and
much-needed time in my life.
Young women leading today's lifestyle have so much to deal with, and
I think the need to feel safe and secure has become a significant
issue, whether we are conscious of this need or not. So many women
suffer from feelings of insecurity, and this is breeding fear,
competitiveness, a lack of oneness, and many other negative
qualities which hinder the quest for happiness and spiritual
progress. All of us have the childlike qualities of purity and
innocence deep inside us, and by choosing to consciously lead a
spiritual life and meditate with a true Master who embodies these
divine qualities in immense measure, we get the opportunity and
resources to bring these hidden qualities forward and expand them.
I offer gratitude for my life in the Sri Chinmoy Centre, as I've
been able to slowly but surely witness my own personal growth and
changes within myself. The safety and security of the Sri Chinmoy
Centre allows my true self to emerge and blossom day by day, minute
by minute, and for me this is a truly precious experience. My goal
in life now is to serve and become a perfect instrument of the
Divine.
Before beginning to lead a conscious spiritual life, I would hear
about tragedies in the world or in my own backyard and be
emotionally devastated and heartbroken, feeling utterly useless and
helpless to change things. I think an easy and often popular option
these days for young, sensitive women is to give up in despair, lose
touch with the outside world, and emotionally shut down to others'
troubles and devastating world events. I know I didn't watch or
listen to the news for many years because of the emotions I'd go
through by hearing all those sad but true stories.
But now, I feel empowered through my own practice of meditation. I
can help the world and Mother Earth, tear drop by tear drop, one
tiny step at a time. The incredible and totally self- empowering
truth is that finally, by simply meditating, I can make a
difference!
I've recently left my "home" Centre of Brisbane for the first time
to live in Adelaide and work in our new cafe Enterprise here. It's
amazing that under Sri Chinmoy's constant and loving guidance, I
immediately felt so protected and safe here, in a different city and
environment, doing things I've never tried before and loving it! I
know in the past there have been many instances when I've felt the
protection-grace of being a student of Sri Chinmoy times when my
life has been spared from disaster, or those close to me have been
protected. And countless times that I'm not even conscious of, I'm
sure I've been looked after on so many different levels.
Sometimes I look around our new cafe Enterprise whilst working and
feel it's like a dream but so real. The joy that bubbles forth and
overflows towards the customers and the other selfless-servers here
is unstoppable and feels unlimited, never-ending. Whilst serving
here during our first week, my days were filled with laughter,
smiles and tears of joy. I wish everyone on Earth could experience
these feelings of such love, happiness and oneness. In our cafe, we
have a beautiful Jharna Kala painting by Sri Chinmoy - a picture
that invokes a sense of paradise to me, with lotuses, water, flowers
and a sunrise. The aphorism below the picture quotes:
"Imagine the beauty of an earth without tears."
My soulful prayer is that more and more seekers will discover the
joy of the Sri Chinmoy Centres around the world and that from now
on, the only tears expressed will be those spontaneous tears of joy
and delight. IMAGINE!
This poem by Sri Chinmoy is from "Father & Daughter" 1975, (my birth
year):
'Lord, service was my imagination,
Service is my aspiration,
Service shall be my realisation.'
"Daughter, love was My Realisation,
Love is My Manifestation,
Love shall be My Perfection."
Kylie Adelaide, Australia
------------------------------------------------------------
#3236
From: nishima_nz
Date: Wed Mar 24, 2004 1:57 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
As I look back over my first 30 years, I remember always feeling
protected, feeling safe. I'm very grateful for how much I was
protected and sheltered from many experiences others had to go
through in life--experiences that might have pulled me off the path
which has led me to where I am today.
Before I joined Sri Chinmoy Centre, I felt safe--not because I
looked at the world through rose-coloured glasses and assumed all
the world was safe, but because of God's Grace, and because I made
choices as intuitively as I could with strong guidance from good
role models. Many of my choices then were very 'safe' choices. I
avoided challenging situations; therefore I limited my own progress
by not making the most of the opportunities presented to me.
My decision to join the Centre was not based on a mental
caclculation as to whether I felt it was a safe place, nor was it
because I loved the inclusion of so many activities to help us on
our spiritual journey. At the time, I would have said my decision
was intuitive. This was the path that felt right for me. I liked
many aspects of other paths, but just knew this was the right one.
I am not used to distinguishing between whether a situation is
different for men, women or children. I'm sure all three groups
would say they feel safe in Sri Chinmoy Centre if they were asked.
When we are children, we put our complete trust in our parents and
adults around us. As we grow older, we become aware that they are
not as pure and perfect as we once believed. Their knowledge is not
as complete as we once thought, and the pedestal on which we once
placed them is gradually lowered--or in some cases completely
shattered. Part of us still searches for something we can trust
fully and love purely. It would be nice to think we could put our
trust in our own intuition, but I know that it can easily be clouded
at this early stage of our progress.
Having become aware of the limitations of our childhood mentors, we
search for a teacher who can guide us in our adult life. To find a
pure teacher whom we can fully love and trust is priceless. With
this type of trust, it is like a safety net we are given to step
outside our comfort zone, beyond self-imposed boundaries. We are
empowered to transcend our limitations because we are given the
confidence that what we are doing is the best thing for us at that
time. We do not have to analyse it, just do it.
Personally, people do not make fun of my spiritual life, either
family, friends or work-mates. They simply respect my choice but
feel it is not for them. I never feel any negativity towards me or
feel threatened by people outside the Centre.
So in answer to the question: I do feel very safe in Sri Chinmoy
Centre--safe to take advantage of opportunities as they are offered
to me, and to make the most of them.
#3237
From: gael_ballantyne
Date: Wed Mar 24, 2004 2:26 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Numerous times since joining Sri Chinmoy Centre, I have felt and
experienced a special sense of protection.
One of my experiences happened four years ago. I was sleeping when I
heard a voice. The voice was that of my Grandmother, who had passed
away about 8 years earlier. She said very simply, "You still pray
for protection, don't you?" This dream came within a couple of days
of Subarata's passing (she was a close friend of mine), and also
after someone had run into the back of my car. It was an amazing
experience, hearing her voice from the soul's world after all those
years. Needless to say, I now pray for protection.
One other time, while I was working in the Blue Bird Cafe, out of
the blue, I felt like God had entered right into my very being and
in that moment, I felt and knew I would be looked after for
eternity. I felt completely safe and felt no matter what, I would be
looked after forever.
With all my heart's love,
THANK-YOU GURU
Gael Ballantyne
(Auckland, NZ)
------------------------------------------------------------
#3239
From: sophiebutler_nz
Date: Wed Mar 24, 2004 3:03 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
I longed for modesty and purity in all aspects of my life before I
was consciously longing for a spiritual life.
Once I decided to become Sri Chinmoy's student, and the discipline
of a pure life led by the soul's wishes was established, I could
tangibly feel my soul's happiness and satisfaction.
The outer world teaches women that they should attract a partner in
order to be truly fulfilled. When this idea was replaced with the
goal of divine love, I felt an immense flood of relief and peace.
As a mother without a partner, I feel the absolute security of Sri
Chinmoy's powerful inner loving support and guidance at all times.
Also, I have the golden opportunity to offer my children a spiritual
upbringing with the detachment of allowing them to be God's children
and not my possessions. For them, living a spiritual life from the
beginning of their lives is very significant because they will be
able to retain much of their innocence as they grow up, and already
have clarity in their feelings about the purpose of life.
Married women in the Sri Chinmoy Centre are able to develop true
concern for, and oneness with their husbands. Their relationships
blossom into the closeness of brothers and sisters without
dependence on physical demands.
With Sri Chinmoy, a woman is able to cultivate all her natural
heart-felt yearning for pure love of God and the desire to offer her
life for the service of the divine in humanity.
Sophie Butler
(Auckland, NZ)
------------------------------------------------------------
#3242
From: Toshala and Wendy Elliott
Date: Wed Mar 24, 2004 2:43 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
I am so happy to have this opportunity to say how much I love being
in the Sri Chinmoy Centre.
My mother and I come from a close-knit and loving family, and had
led very sheltered lives. Up until the late 1980's, we were very
involved in family matters and had happy, full lives. All of this
was stripped away over a short time when most of the family members
close to us died from cancers, heart attacks and leukemia. Whilst
undergoing this personal holocaust, we came to the understanding
that God is all there is - everything else can be stripped away from
you, all of the trappings of life and everyone that you love,
everything can go. But always there is God. God became very real to
both of us over this time, and we were two very changed people. When
we came across the Sri Chinmoy Centre, it was just what God had been
preparing us for and to our joy and gratitude, Sri Chinmoy
accepted us into the Centre. Since then we have lived again - we
have known joy and love and the world has become radiant again.
Our lives have blossomed in the last 13 years since we joined this
beautiful path.
-I was a student when I joined the Centre. I completed my Ph.D in
science 10 years ago. I was not entirely happy doing this kind of
work, but I was good at it. Now I am successfully in business in the
food industry, with a beautiful Enterprise and a sense of
fulfillment and joy in what I am doing.
-I have seen my mother emerge from being a shy and reserved little
thing to becoming a happy, clever and self-confident woman.
So that is how being students of Sri Chinmoy has shaped our lives;
but the question we were asked is:
Is Sri Chinmoy Centre a safe place for women?
Our resounding answer is: Yes! It certainly is!
It needs to be said, though, that whilst there is a large measure of
protection afforded to us (for instance, a large prowler was once
coming for me and when I chanted a powerful mantra out loud, he
inexplicably fell over and I got away), such protection is secondary
to actually being a student of Sri Chinmoy. Our personal driving
reasons for joining the Centre had nothing to do with safety, and
may I be so bold to say that it tends to suggest that seekers are
meek, mouse-like and insipid, whereas I have noticed that most of
the women seekers I know are brave and self-assured.
We are very happy that we are in the Sri Chinmoy Centre, and the
highly tangible safety that we have been afforded is an added bonus.
Yours sincerely
Dr. Toshala Elliott, with Mrs. Wendy Elliott
(Auckland, NZ)
------------------------------------------------------------
#3257
From: sutibra
Date: Thu Mar 25, 2004 4:10 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
I am not a writer, poet, or intellectual. I am a mother who had
faith in a daily chant--a chant that asked God to lead me to a
higher and more fulfilling good, for the betterment of myself, my
family and all of humankind. I chanted this aphorism for many weeks,
and then came across a book of Sri Chinmoy's called 'Beyond Within'.
My prayers had been heard!
I had looked everywhere in my search for truth, and found all the
answers I needed here in this book--discovered in a shop amidst
probably hundreds and thousands of books. It just popped out at me.
I loved the title 'Beyond Within'. When I bought it, it was the end
of my search for answers. I would cry while reading it, grateful for
discovering such truth in such a simple way. I would use it to solve
my problems by just opening the book at a certain place. The answer
would always appear perfectly, simply and so beautifully written. I
knew and felt that Sri Chinmoy embodied the consciousness of
divinity I wanted to discover within myself. The realisation that
the whole world could also come to embody this divine consciousness
thrilled me.
I had no idea that Sri Chinmoy was alive. Somehow it never occurred
to me that I would ever be able to meet someone of such a high
calibre, let alone become his student. I was a housewife, a simple
person, married with children. The thought did not even occur to me.
After some time, I attended a free meditation workshop offered by
the Sri Chinmoy Centre, and to my delight I found out Sri Chinmoy
was really alive. I asked how I could meet this teacher who I felt I
already knew.
I joined the Sri Chinmoy Centre in New Zealand, and have since met
Sri Chinmoy in person many times. I have never been disappointed.
Safety, fear and mistrust have not been issues for me within Sri
Chinmoy Centre. The purity I feel from Sri Chinmoy and within the
Centre is real purity--I have found my teacher and I feel safe.
If you read his writings, you will find that Sri Chinmoy asks his
students to practice inner and outer disciplines, such as
meditation. "Meditation," says Sri Chinmoy, "is entering into our
soul and realising peace, light and bliss. Then through the physical
we offer these qualities to the world. When we meditate, we dive
into the vast sea of consciousness. The deeper we go, the more we
expand our own consciousness and the more abundantly the qualities
of light, peace and bliss grow inside us."
Sri Chinmoy talks about the paramount importance of purity. He says,
"Purity is the light of our soul expressing it's divinity through
the body, vital and mind. Purity is like a divine magnet--it pulls
all divine qualities into us."
"Sincerity," Sri Chinmoy says, "is our life's protector, and purity
is our life's perfector."
Sri Chinmoy also talks of "spiritual perfection," defining this as
"the constant capacity to know God and to reveal Him in one's every
movement."
Another reason I feel safe within the Centre is that Sri Chinmoy's
students are sincere seekers of truth. They endeavour to live these
teachings--to make them a reality in their own lives. They have come
to Sri Chinmoy with the sole purpose of discovering the divinity
within, or of becoming God-realised. They can appreciate the
divinity that lies in the consciousness of Sri Chinmoy, which he
expresses in the depth of his writings, the beauty of his paintings
and music, his manifestations of humanitarian aid, and his total
dedication to teaching meditation to thousands of people around the
world.
Because I trust and respect my own sincerity, I also appreciate
other seekers who are sincere in their search for God, and their
life of service to humankind here on earth. I trust and have faith
that through our practice of inner discipline under Sri Chinmoy's
guidance, we are being led to a more fulfiling life on our journey
of self-discovery and self-transcendence. Sri Chinmoy constantly
offers his compassion, purity and divine love--not just to his
students, but to all of humanity, all of creation. Through his help,
and with God's Grace, we will all eventually achieve oneness with
God.
TRIBUTE TO MY GURU
Thank you Guru, I have so much faith in you, in your dreams and
hopes for humanity, and in the pure, sincere and compassionate way
you are always here for us. I give gratitude for the divine and
beautiful consciousness you create wherever you go and in whatever
you do. I strive to become one with this consciousness, and can only
offer my gratitude to you for creating such a beautiful and divine
space for sincere seekers throughout the world to come together,
with their heart's sincerity and purity, in hope for a better world
and the fulfilment of God's vision here on earth.
Thank you Guru Sri Chinmoy
Sutibra
New Zealand
------------------------------------------------------------
#3258
From: kuhakini
Date: Thu Mar 25, 2004 4:27 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Is the Sri Chinmoy Centre a safe place women?
Definitely 100 times over! I could not imagine a safer place to be,
but that is not the reason I stay in the Centre. It is simply
because I love Sri Chinmoy and I do not want to be far from his
spiritual path.
In my teenage years, I attended a Catholic girls' high school which
I found to be a very nurturing, loving environment. I liked the fact
that it was all girls because it enabled me to grow and blossom, and
have more self-confidence than I think I would have if I had been at
a co-educational school.
The spiritual life with Sri Chinmoy is not unlike this. I feel
nurtured and able to grow as an individual without feeling
overshadowed. Sri Chinmoy has a unique and special way of dealing
with each and every individual to bring out the best in all of us.
He has spared nothing of himself in complete self-offering to help
us become and remain happy, and to grow into our highest potential.
I believe the Sri Chinmoy Centre is not only a safe place to be, but
perhaps the safest place in the entire world because of Sri
Chinmoy's all-pervading love and protection, which we all feel.
I too greatly agree with the comment of feeling 'empowered living a
spiritual life', because what can be more empowering than the fact
that we are growing into our true selves? That is to say, we are
discovering our souls and growing into their infinite freedom,
rather than dwelling in the realm of the mind which is often dry and
full of problems.
I too believe that some of the most precious and loving people that
the earth has seen are, and have been treated unjustly by the
ignorance of humanity. We only have to look at history to see how
many people have been mercilessly mistreated by the ignorance of the
age, and only afterwards did humanity realise these people to be
prophets, geniuses, saints and direct representatives of God. To
name only a few (and I am sure every field of human endeavour has
them): the impressionist painters, Van Gogh, Joan of Arc and Jesus
Christ. Christ's breathtaking and sacrificing life gives us this
message in its most devastating form. He was crucified literally by
the ignorance of this world. It is sad to know that such ignorance
still lives in the world today, in the minds and actions of those
who taunt and attack the most pure of men.
I only know that at least I am playing my part in the divine play,
and growing in the Supreme's divine Light into a happy and fulfilled
God-lover, in the lap of the Sri Chinmoy Centre.
#3262
From: Eta
Date: Thu Mar 25, 2004 10:34 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
I come from a small island called Rotuma, near Fiji. When I was very
young, it broke my heart to see my mother badly mistreated by my
father. Finding the Sri Chinmoy Centre has saved me by showing me my
inner self and helping me to find my inner strength. Sri Chinmoy
teaches us to rise above our previous negative experiences. He
supports us by not only pointing the way to a better place, but also
guiding us to that place.
Soon I will turn 60, but I only found Guru seven years ago, or
rather Guru found me. I had spent my whole life searching.
Guru has taught me to transcend myself, to live from the heart with
joy, to transcend the past and to replace fear with love. Now I feel
very safe and guided.
Deepest love and gratitude,
Eta
Christchurch, New Zealand
------------------------------------------------------------
#3263
From: alana_bluebird
Date: Thu Mar 25, 2004 3:56 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
I am a married woman with two sons. I come from a large Catholic
family where we were taught about a loving and caring God. We were
taught the importance of living the life of God's teachings in the
way we treated others and in the way we thought about others and
ourselves. We were taught about surrounding ourselves with
like-minded people; choosing carefully the friends we made; the
places we socialized; the values we wanted to surround us. We were
taught that our way might not be the only way, but it was what
suited our family best.
When I joined Sri Chinmoy Centre I was happy with my Catholic faith,
but through meditation I have been inspired and encouraged to
transcend my ideas about myself and my family, and I have gained
enormous confidence in teaching my sons about knowing, loving and
serving God. Our family as a unit has become very close, happy and
successful. The children have a sense of knowing and confidence that
is often remarked upon by family, friends and schoolteachers.
Sri Chinmoy's philosophy sits very well with me as a woman. It is
not at odds with my upbringing it feels like a natural progression
into finding my deeper spiritual self. It embodies the eternal
Truth, which I strongly believe in, and it embraces all that is good
in this world and inspires me to go beyond. I love and deeply
appreciate this golden opportunity to live an active, hands-on,
exciting, modern-day spiritual life.
Gratitude always to Sri Chinmoy for all that he is sharing with
humanity.
Yours sincerely
Alana Myers-Daly
Auckland, New Zealand
------------------------------------------------------------
#3267
From: Karnayati
Date: Thu Mar 25, 2004 12:35 pm
Subject: Re: Question for the women
To answer the original question: Yes, Sri Chinmoy Centre is a safe
place for women. It is also a safe place for men. For me, being a
member of Sri Chinmoy Centre is like coming to a beautiful safe
loving home with sisters and brothers who care all around. I love
the fact that it is an international family and that we come
together in joy and harmony. I love the way we help each other and
those around us. I love the oneness that I experience in the Centre.
I love the way we reach out to provide humanitarian services, to
provide lessons in meditation without charge. I love working in
restaurants and bookshops run by students of Sri Chinmoy where we
can provide excellent service to the public. We have such a
wonderful example in Sri Chinmoy of how to give freely and fully of
ourselves to humanity.
I have two sons, and I hope and pray that the world we live in can
follow Sri Chinmoy's example of recognising that men and women are
different, and also that each can transcend their own limitations
through their aspiration, determination, prayer and meditation. Sri
Chinmoy has been a great inspiration in my own life, and has led me
to do many things I would not have dreamt were possible. He has
taught me that ordinary people can do extraordinary things. I am
also learning to trust more and worry less. I truly feel younger and
healthier and happier than I was 13 years ago before I joined Sri
Chinmoy Centre.
I feel safe in the Centre because it is the closest place I have
found to God on this earth. I pray that the confidence I am gaining
through this security will help me fulfill my full potential so that
I can be all God would want me to be. To quote Sri Chinmoy:
The ever-mounting flame
Of my heart's aspiration-cry
Is the source of my life's
Ever-increasing joy and delight.
------------------------------------------------------------
#3272
From: Sumitra
Date: Thu Mar 25, 2004 1:20 pm
Subject: The Question for Women
I appreciate the chance you have given me to reflect on my life.
When I found the Centre over 25 years ago, I was already 50 years
old--well-conditioned by the secular society I grew up in. My life
as a student of Sri Chinmoy has been like a journey of growing
younger instead of older, a gradual shedding of layer upon layer of
restrictive social conditioning, and the freedom--the glorious
freedom--to grow toward the spiritual person I am meant to be. So
many opportunities to explore different parts of my being, develop
my strengths and recognise my weaknesses (ouch), whether in the
world of sports, music, writing, organising, teaching, cooking,
dishwashing(!)--and all from the standpoint of what is possible when
we live in the heart and not in the mind.
None of this amazing journey would have been possible without the
abiding encouragement and love of Sri Chinmoy himself, expressed
through his writings, talks, music, supreme Example... and above
all, his Presence.
My heartfelt Gratitude,
Sumitra
------------------------------------------------------------
#3273
From: jacqui_aussie
Date: Thu Mar 25, 2004 3:54 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
God, I think I love You.
"Daughter, what is the proof?"
God, this is the proof:
You know, God,
I do not live with ignorance
Anymore;
I do not play with doubt
Anymore;
I do not cry with fear
Anymore;
I do not eat with jealousy
Anymore;
I do not dance with despair
Anymore.
"Daughter, enough.
You love Me
And
I love you.
Be happy. Remain happy."
-Sri Chinmoy
Yes, the poem is what it is all about; that and faith.
>From the time I was a teenager, I always felt there was something
missing and unfulfilled in my life--in spite of having a loving and
happy childhood, marriage and family life.
Since becoming a student of Sri Chinmoy a few years ago, things have
changed. There is detachment from the desires of the material world.
I don't feel alone anymore, I have a sense of self, direction and
purpose. Inner peace, happiness, joy and wonderment are bubbling
out, like when I was a child. I am 62 but I do not feel old anymore.
I am healthier and I have this great sense of freedom and vitality.
Life is still full of challenges, but they no longer seem
insurmountable. Therefore it is easier to pick myself up, dust
myself off and still face life with enthusiasm when things go badly.
Jacqui
Melbourne, Australia
------------------------------------------------------------
#3276
From: anami2708
Date: Thu Mar 25, 2004 12:25 pm
Subject: Question for the women
All of you expressed yourself in an outstanding and unique way. It
would be worth making a book out of it.
For me, the question if I am feeling safe in the Sri Chinmoy Centres
never arose, because I totally felt like I was coming back home to
my real inner family when I became a student of Sri Chinmoy 16 years
ago.
I grew up in an tiny village in the Bavarian Alps, with skiing and
climbing in the high mountains which I knew very well - very often I
was sitting on the mountaintops watching the silent sunset. At these
precious moments I often cried out inwardly: "Where are you, who are
living (not just preaching) this kind of pure, spiritual, honest
life with the high ethical values I am looking for? Where are you O
brothers and sisters of this beautiful world, who really want to
leave this world better than you found it, who really want to grow
and mature in the inner life? Where are you....striving for the
impossible, to reach the highest of your capacities and
possibilities and consciously raise the human standard of life by
your living example?...where are you?"
For a long time there was no answer (I was about 15-16 years old).
Then in 1987 I met miraculously with Sri Chinmoy at a delightful,
heart-opening concert in Freiburg - and so my journey finally began.
It was like coming home. Meeting Sri Chinmoy and his students made
me feel really comfortable and at ease - at your real home you
always feel safe - not one thought was squandered about safety. It
is also said that you will recognize a real Master by his "fruits" -
by what he brings to the fore in his words and deeds, and of course
by the character of his students. Naturally we are all far from
being perfect - but there is an immense hunger for progress, and
loving respect for all beings on earth. And in the meantime, I know
quite a few human jewels of brothers and sisters on our path.
I am truly proud of each one of you - my brothers and sisters all
over the world - for you are taking the challenge day by day as the
real inner heroes of life, and I feel honoured and heartfully happy
to share this unique life-road with you. ...
With joyfully beaming gratitude
Anami
------------------------------------------------------------
#3290
From: Hladini
Date: Fri Mar 26, 2004 6:13 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
I would like to respond to the question about safety. Having had the
incredible privilege of being in the Sri Chinmoy Centre for three
decades, I can confirm that the Centre is indeed a safe place for
women. This path gives full respect and responsibility to both
genders. Good qualities such as gentleness, courtesy, strength and
purity are encouraged among all Centre members, so the women do not
have to suffer from the patronization and base macho behaviour so
prevalent among Western males. Nor do we have to play coy games of
flirtation and manipulation to gain position or prestige. Far from
being 'repressed', the women in our Centre feel very free to be
themselves, to steadily transcend their own limitations and to
develop their individual capacities.
Meditating and following the teachings of Sri Chinmoy has enabled me
to grow far beyond the tremendous fear, frustration, helplessness
and confusion that governed my early years, and to reach a joyful
understanding of life as a vast field for making personal progress
and for serving God and humanity.
Quite simply, being in the Sri Chinmoy Centre makes me increasingly
happy and poised. I cannot now imagine being confined to the
'normal' life of most other women, who follow the status quo and
look for satisfaction only in relationships, careers and material
possessions. I love my life of prayer and meditation, and I thank
God for the blessing of having an enlightened Master and a worldwide
family of aspiring brothers and sisters.
#3291
From: Paramita
Date: Fri Mar 26, 2004 5:55 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
As a member of the Sri Chinmoy Centre for almost 30 years, I feel
and have always felt completely and totally safe. I am accepted and
respected as a whole person--including my intellectual self and my
emotional self, but most importantly my spiritual self.
Here we are a very large international family of spiritual brothers
and sisters. This is a family striving for the ideal in inter-
relationships based on respect for the very best, the highest in
each individual. The essential goodness, the genuine love of God and
the service to God in humanity is what is valued in each person,
whether they are male or female. Every person receives tremendous
support and encouragement in their own journey to becoming the best
possible citizen of this world that they can be.
There is no discrimination based on gender, race, religion or
nationality. Abuse of anyone--male or female--is out of the
question.
#3297
From: devakigroulx
Date: Fri Mar 26, 2004 10:58 am
Subject: gratitude for so much inspiration
To all the posters worldwide--thanks so much for sharing your ideas,
poems, projects and writings of Sri Chinmoy.
Normally my readings are full of boring work-related
(stress-inducing) information. It's such a joy to read all your
inspiring ideas. I feel like I'm getting my 'reading' done online
with so many excerpts of Sri Chinmoy's writings being posted.
As I said before, all the womens' offerings have been a joy to read,
and I agree with someone who said it would make a great book!
I am going to encourage other members of my Centre to join the group
and hopefully post some of their own thoughts, feelings and
inspirations.
A note to our sisters and brothers in NZ and Australia: We admire
your oneness and dedication! You are so far away physically, but
spiritually, so connected and in tune with Sri Chinmoy and his hopes
for all of us to realize the Eternal Truths. Every time I see any of
you in N.Y. (having taken that long gruelling trip myself), I admire
you so much. You are always ready to serve, and always seem so
cheerful in spite of the jet lag!!.
Love and oneness,
Devaki
------------------------------------------------------------
#3300
From: Sugandha
Date: Fri Mar 26, 2004 3:59 pm
Subject: response to the question on women
When I first encountered Sri Chinmoy's writing, I found his words
both inspiring and comforting. Not only was his vision for the
individual seeker, but for the whole world. If these truths were
lived, then there was truly hope for beauty and justice, peace,
love, compassion and freedom for all.
Many years later, I find that my moments of true happiness and
clarity come during meditation. I wish that everyone were able to
avail him or herself of this.
On this path, every individual--man or woman--is encouraged and
inspired to reach his or her own goals, and in doing so contributes
to the joy and inspiration of all his or her fellow seekers. There
is a feeling of family, with the protection and support that goes
with it. It is also very interesting to meet people from so many
different countries that have so much in common.
All that being said, being in the Sri Chinmoy Centre is no escape.
It is a chance to discover the real, to face one's own weaknesses,
and to grow into a way of living which is both inwardly fulfilling
and outwardly creative. It is a tremendous blessing.
#3310
From: nishtha_nyc
Date: Sat Mar 27, 2004 7:03 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
A few thoughts in response to your question about women's experience
in the Sri Chinmoy Centre:
I personally came to the Centre at the age of 20 years. Now 32 years
later, I can answer with the strongest affirmation that the Sri
Chinmoy Centre is a very, very safe place for women--and men! (My
sister also joined Sri Chinmoy's path 32 years ago, some months
after I did.)
I was trying to read between the lines, trying to understand what
you were referring to when you asked if women are safe in the
Centre. Were you referring to the rape, abuse and harassment of
women that you mentioned? These issues just have absolutely nothing
to do with life in the Centre--thank God!--so much so that I am
still trying to be sure that was part of your question to us female
Centre members. The Sri Chinmoy Centre is a spiritual place where
men and women come to pray and meditate. It is not a place for
social life or sexual relationships. The people who join the Centre
know that from the time they join, and they have happily chosen this
modest lifestyle.
Maybe there are other meanings to your question about being safe?
Might I say that women members of the Centre are not only safe, but
also happy. I do not think there is a single female student of Sri
Chinmoy who came to his spiritual path just to be "safe" as you are
suggesting. Those who came to Sri Chinmoy to study did so because
they feel a need to improve their lives and progress as individuals
towards their own highest potential. This aspiration is not a
gender-related issue; it is a common spiritual pursuit. This is a
path of self-discovery and self-transformation. The Sri Chinmoy
Centre provides a very positive atmosphere for individuals to evolve
into the very best they can become. The Centre is like a warm family
where people treat one another appreciatively and respectfully like
brothers and sisters. Women play leadership roles in the worldwide
Centres, as do men. Many of us have established our own private
businesses (my sister and I, for example, have operated a vegetarian
restaurant since 1974). We women participate in sports events, art
and music events and community events on an equal basis with the
male members of the Centre. The truth is that we do not particularly
need to celebrate International Women's Day. Why? Because it is
already an integral part of our daily Centre lives. Women are
encouraged and appreciated in the Sri Chinmoy Centre on a daily
basis. They must also bear responsibilities and face all the same
challenges of a busy, modern-day life that the male members do.
I wonder if there is some confusion about spirituality itself. The
spiritual life is not intended to be an escape from practical,
responsible life or from society. On the contrary, men and women
alike in the Sri Chinmoy Centre are encouraged to be active,
responsible adults.
I do believe that in some countries where Women's Day is a more
popular holiday, such as the former Soviet Union, Serbia and
Montenegro, it is observed in the Centres. Where I am located in
the U.S.A., Women's Day is not such a widely popular holiday.
Women are by nature--their highest nature--sweet, soft, tender and
self-giving, but that does not mean they have to be in a position of
being taken advantage of. Women also have fortitude, strength and
patience. The time has come for women to bravely and sincerely
accept the spiritual life--the life of prayer, meditation and
selfless service--so we can transform our weaknesses and strengthen
our positive qualities. I have never met anyone who encourages women
to do so more than Sri Chinmoy.
- Nishtha
Jamaica, New York
------------------------------------------------------------
#3311
From: srichinmoyinspiration
Date: Sat Mar 27, 2004 11:30 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Thank you to all the women who are sharing their feelings and
experiences. There seems to be quite a bit of interest in this
topic.
I realize now that some women couldn't even believe I was asking the
question about safety in the Centre. They could not imagine I was
asking about rape, abuse and harassment of women, since--judging by
their responses--these things simply do not occur in the Centre.
By way of apology, I can only say that sometimes there's a
disconnect between the pure life led by spiritual seekers, and the
way they are depicted outside their own communities. One of the
reasons I started this topic is that I was asking myself: "Who has
the right to define spiritual seekers? Do they get to define
themselves? Or do they get defined and labeled by others?"
I think sometimes there are others who try and usurp the right of
spiritual seekers to define themselves. I am glad that the women of
Sri Chinmoy Centre are speaking out with their own voices, claiming
the right to have their own lives and own stories speak for
themselves. In my opening question I wrote:
"Sometimes it seems that in the outer world, people have many
strange ideas. They think that because someone prays and meditates
and joins in the life of a spiritual community, that means they are
"abused." Also, it seems that if someone leaves a spiritual group
and later enters into therapy, there is tremendous pressure on them
to conform to negative stereotypes about "cults." In some cases,
they seem to make up ridiculous stories designed to please their
therapist. Maybe this is one reason there is so much confusion about
spiritual groups."
I would like to follow up on some issues raised by Sushmitam in
connection with her years of experience as a psychotherapist. She
implied that there is such a thing as "good therapy" and "bad
therapy." I believe this to be very true.
In therapy, patients are often concerned with creating a narrative
truth for past events--one they can live with. A narrative truth is
not a literal truth, it is a retelling of the story of one's life.
The patient and the therapist reach an agreement about how the story
should be told, and the emphasis is not always on what is literally
true, but on what will make the patient "feel better"--or in some
cases, what will satisfy the therapist's psychological theories or
ideological convictions.
Gifted therapists don't allow their patients to adopt a narrative
which is a mere stereotype, which drastically alters reality, or
which unfairly demonizes third parties. Unfortunately, many bad
therapists will encourage precisely that, particularly those with an
ideological bias (such as anti-cultism).
People who have the misfortune of hooking up with an anti-cult
therapist may be told that they adopted spiritual practice due to
psychological frailties, bad parenting, an unhappy love affair, or
"cult mind control." Yet, social scientists who have studied the
data have concluded that people who join religious movements tend to
do so in response to deeply felt spiritual needs--often after a
period in which they were dissatisfied with the quality of their
spiritual life. This is certainly borne out by the women's stories
in this thread.
Sushmitam, you were talking about how people following a spiritual
path eventually have to confront their personal issues, and how
sometimes that's the point at which they leave. Maybe they received
abundant light and love which touched them to the very core of their
being, but something in their nature wanted to cling to their old
life. So they leave. Then, what is their experience? I have been
studying this issue, and I would like to share some observations.
At first they may promise themselves that they will remain faithful
"in their hearts" to the gifts they received. But when they are away
from spiritual practice, gradually they may lose that sense of
connectedness. They may feel a bit lost in the secular world, and
also guilty about having abandoned their faith. In some cases, they
may turn to drugs and alcohol. Eventually, they may seek the help of
a therapist.
This is a pivotal point. Such a person does not have a "cult
problem," they have an adjustment problem. A really good therapist
would see this. But if they get a bad therapist, especially one
allied with the anti-cult movement, then they will be told they are
"victims of cult abuse."
The patient may argue, "No, no, I was never abused. In fact, I was
shown tremendous love and kindness. If anything, I feel really
guilty about having let down my teacher and my friends, and having
failed to achieve my personal goals." But the therapist may say:
"All 'cults' and 'cult leaders' are the same. They are all abusers.
You must have been abused, I know you were. I want you to read these
books about 'cult' abuse. Then I want you to think about all the
ways you were abused and write them down in a journal. Remember, I
can't help you until you admit you were abused. Then you have to get
angry at the 'cult leader.' Once you start showing signs of
'progress,' I can gradually reduce your medication. I can also
introduce you to a little group where people like you help each
other 'recover' from 'cult abuse' by sharing their 'testimonials'
with the public. The final test of whether you're really 'cured' is
if you're willing to 'rescue' other 'cult victims' by telling them
the 'new information' you've learned about the 'cult.'"
Exposure to hate material in a group setting, plus complete
isolation from the spiritual group, can produce a radical inversion
of views. This is much like what is done to prisoners of war. They
are shown writing samples which vilify a person or group, and
pressured to write "confessions" or "testimonials" which will bring
their own accounts into conformity. They are constantly urged to
"imagine" a person doing horrible things which that person has NEVER
done in real life. Such false accounts gradually become real to them
through vicarious experience. (Psychologists call this "imagination
inflation.") Gradually, the image of a beloved mentor is replaced
with the stereotype of a hated "cult leader."
In my opinion, this kind of "treatment" by anti-cult therapists is
itself a form of abuse, and often leads to cases of False Memory
Syndrome (FMS). In the 1995 Sydney Morning Herald series "Therapy In
Turmoil: The Memory Controversy," Richard Guilliatt writes:
"Dr Jerome Gelb, a Melbourne psychiatrist who has recently treated
nine women for satanic abuse, says he now believes the stories are
false beliefs."
"'I have had three patients who have openly stated that their
"memories" were induced by the therapists they were seeing,' said Dr
Gelb. 'They were pressured into accusing family members of incest,
pressured into saying they were satanically abused, and in one case
pressured into leaving home.'"
"Dr Gelb argues that 'a significant cadre of poorly trained,
overzealous or ideologically driven psychotherapists have pursued a
series of pseudo-scientific notions that have ultimately damaged the
patients who have come to them for help.' He says that three of his
patients have now acknowledged that their recovered 'memories' of
abuse were actually confabulations produced by suggestive therapy."
"Dr Gelb has since become one of the most outspoken critics of
recovered memory in Australia, arguing in the pages of Australiasian
Psychiatry that therapists have done untold damage by using highly
suggestive techniques to induce false beliefs in their patients."
Malcolm Stern of the British False Memory Society writes:
"FMS involves not just recovering supposed memories but making them
the central feature in one's life, the basis of a new identity. The
rewards can be substantial: attention and sympathy; status as a
survivor (very fashionable in some circles); the companionship of
fellow-sufferers; above all, the comfort of knowing that, whatever
one's past or present problems, somebody else was to blame."
"We have seen [sufferers] reject anyone who doubts their
allegations, rush to join support groups, pore over the self-help
literature--in short, turn themselves into full-blown, single-minded
victims[.] ... We, for our part, regard them as victims of
irresponsible therapy, often allied to a dubious ideology." [BFMS
Newsletter, Vol 7. No 1 August 1999]
Charlotte Vale Allen, a genuine abuse survivor and the author of
Daddy's Girl writes:
"A woman I've known for over thirty years who's always been
searching for her 'gift,' for the career move that will finally
bring her happiness has now got memories that fill her with purpose.
After falling out of touch for a decade, she telephoned to say, in
essence, 'Guess what? Me, too!' But in the very new tones of
tremendous self-importance. This woman who'd never been able to find
something to do in life that would bring her any satisfaction was
now positively brimming with it. With the help of her therapist,
she'd at last found her calling--as a victim! She had ludicrous,
unbelievable tales to tell of satanic abuse--in the heart of one of
Toronto's oldest, wealthiest areas. Right! ... What is going on?
It's as if some sort of collective lunacy has taken hold of
people--the patients and therapists, both lockstepped in a march
toward finding a past history of abuse at all costs. Victimhood as a
desirable status is anathema to me[.]" [From the website of
Charlotte Vale Allen]
I apologize for bringing in a number of ideas which may seem strange
to members of a spiritual organization which has no history of
abuse. I guess my reason for doing so is to try and explain the
disconnect between the reality of Sri Chinmoy Centre--which has an
unblemished reputation--and the type of hate material which is
sometimes used to discourage people from choosing spiritual
alternatives.
In closing, I would like to say that there is good therapy and bad
therapy--and then there is downright abusive therapy. When former
spiritual seekers go to a therapist with a simple adjustment
problem, and end up being subjected to a program of psychological
manipulation which leaves them believing in ridiculous tales of
abuse for which there is no objective evidence, that is downright
abusive therapy.
One might even call such therapy a form of "social engineering."
After all, personal information about the patient is being used to
advance the therapist's hidden agenda. In such cases, the therapist
seems less concerned with helping the patient become a happy, well-
adjusted person, and more concerned with turning them into an
anti-cult activist willing to spread hate material about their
former religion.
In fairness, I would guess that most therapists are compassionate
healers who do want to help their patients. However, a therapist's
world view can strongly influence his or her sense of what it truly
means to "help." A gifted therapist might recognize that spiritual
seekers will not be helped by a programme designed to turn them into
secular conformists. But a "hack" may try and convince spiritual
seekers to abandon their faith and lead an ultra-pragmatic life
rooted in career, family and creature comforts. Therapy is, after
all, a mentoring tradition. Patients are most likely to be
pronounced "cured" if they end up mirroring the therapist's world
view, and adopting a retelling of their life story approved by the
therapist. Where we see former spiritual seekers turned psychiatric
patients telling highly scripted accounts of how they were "abused
by the cult," and where there is absolutely no evidence of such
abuse--where the real world data in fact indicates quite the
opposite--then we are right to conclude that these stories are
coming from the therapist, not the patient.
I recently had a chance to review some correspondence on these
issues. I was struck by the fact that in the thirty-five year
history of Sri Chinmoy Centre, no one has ever filed any complaint
of sexual abuse, child abuse, or anything of the sort. I guess that
laudable record would come as no surprise to the women participating
in this discussion. What is surprising is that there are people who
make their living advertising to parents that for a few thousand
dollars, they will perform a "cult intervention" which will "rescue"
their child from "abuse by the cult." It seems clear to me that
false tales of abuse serve as a marketing tool to sell such
"services." I consider this practice highly unethical, if not
downright illegal.
I hope this makes clear my reason for having asked the question "Is
Sri Chinmoy Centre a safe place for women?" And because women have
such strong nurturing and protective instincts toward children, I
would also like to expand my original question to the women: Is the
Sri Chinmoy Centre a safe place for children?
------------------------------------------------------------
#3312
From: nilima_silver
Date: Sat Mar 27, 2004 7:56 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
In answering the question about how my experiences as a student of
Sri Chinmoy have shaped my life, I am thinking back to the sixties
when I stumbled on Yoga and meditation before they were as
mainstream as they are today. I was desperately looking for
something to help me concentrate on my studies and cope with tension
in my senior year in high school. Yoga not only helped with stress
management, but opened doors to so much more, including the concept
of becoming closer to God--something previously foreign to me in my
atheistic upbringing.
One recurring theme in Sri Chinmoy's writings is that the spiritual
life is extremely practical. Indeed, I feel so fortunate to have
discovered the practical tools of faith, meditation and prayer as a
teenager, and they have helped me ever since to get through each day
with a little more poise, energy and joy. Needless to say, I am
extremely grateful for Sri Chinmoy's inner and outer teachings,
which have guided me and inspired me for over three decades in
efforts to better myself and, in my own small way, to make the world
a better place. And I am also grateful to have had the support of my
spiritual brothers and sisters, who have always been there for me,
whether it be in addressing day to day concerns, or in times of
crisis, such as the recent death of my father or my own
hospitalization from pneumonia a few months ago.
Which brings me to the last question--is the Sri Chinmoy Centre a
safe place for women? First, I think that this modern form of
spirituality offers a healthy and safe balance between our spiritual
and secular lives, with all of us living in our own homes or
apartments, having different jobs and activities, and maintaining
our financial independence. And in terms of receiving encouragement
and security from what has become my extended family, and benefiting
from the guidance of a very wise and compassionate Spiritual
Teacher, I would answer yes, a definite yes, a resounding yes!
------------------------------------------------------------
#3313
From: nayak_ltp
Date: Sat Mar 27, 2004 10:05 am
Subject: Nishtha's reply to "Question For The Women"
Dear Nishtha,
This reply was very inspiring to me. The replies themselves--yours,
plus those of the many other women who have replied--show the
independence, confidence, enthusiasm, spiritual commitment and self-
giving nature of the women in the Sri Chinmoy Centre. In addition to
the substantial content of the replies, the tone of each reply is
the best answer in itself.
#3320
From: tanima_ny
Date: Sat Mar 27, 2004 3:22 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
This is in response to the "Question for the Women," which caught my
eye and raised some issues on which I would like to share my views.
Perhaps it is best to first tell a little about myself. My name is
Tanima, and I have been a student of Sri Chinmoy for 36 years, since
February 1968, when I joined at the age of 20, in my last year of
college. Actually, my mom first joined Sri Chinmoy Centre and then
inspired me. She had heard about Sri Chinmoy from the publicist for
the Off-Broadway show she was performing in, and she joined in 1967.
I am fortunate to have been an integral member of Sri Chinmoy Centre
from the beginning, and have been deeply involved in the activities
of Sri Chinmoy and his students, mainly as a leader of singing
groups, teaching and performing his devotional songs. Since 1970, I
have lived in Jamaica, Queens, New York, which is the central
location of the Centre.
Now, to get to the question. The writer refers to the many abuses
women are subjected to in the outer world, and asks: "Is Sri Chinmoy
Centre a safe place for women?" The answer, of course, is an
unconditional "Yes."
Obviously, I can speak only from my own experience; however, that
experience has been long, extensive and comprehensive. It would be
impossible to be closely associated on an almost daily basis for 36
years with an organization and its leader, and not know the truest
nature of both on every level. I can unequivocally say that Sri
Chinmoy, his path and his disciples embody only the absolute highest
standards, not only of purity, but also of spirituality, morality
and integrity. I have never, ever once, in my thousands upon
thousands of interactions with either Sri Chinmoy or his male
disciples, personally been the recipient of, or witnessed, or even
heard of any abusively untoward, undivine or impure actions. (Let me
also say that even on a subtle plane, we women have a special inner
"antenna" when it comes to this. There is not a woman in the world
who wouldn't recognize a man's "vibe", look, innuendos or actions
that indicate his impure intentions.)
Sri Chinmoy is a spiritual Master of the highest principles, the
highest purity, and the deepest goodness, and his students reflect
this high standard in all that they do. The way both he and his male
students relate to the female students is always, under all
circumstances, on the purest level, following the ancient Eastern
spiritual traditions. To give a few examples: at all meditations and
functions, the women and men sit completely separately; women and
men do not ride together in a car, except perhaps for couples and
relatives; even when we perform spiritual plays, the women and men
rehearse in completely separate groups.
As far as the writer getting "the feeling that many women stick
close to Sri Chinmoy Centre because they feel protected there," for
myself--and I think for many of my longtime friends on the path--I
would not say that we stay in the Centre solely for this reason,
though the protection of our pure lifestyle is certainly an added
"plus." We stay because our lives have been transformed and continue
to be transformed for the better. We stay because Sri Chinmoy is
such a remarkable, elevated, and illumined spiritual Master who
teaches us how to bring forward and strengthen our very best
qualities, how to transcend our limitations and weaknesses, how to
aspire, pray and meditate, and become better citizens of the world.
The writer also speaks of people saying that women who choose the
spiritual life are "repressed." For myself, it is exactly the
opposite. Nothing could be more liberating than not to have to rely
on or answer to a male partner, or to be bound to the full-time,
almost lifelong responsibility of raising children. Don't
misunderstand me: many women are happy and fulfilled with such a
life. We need them in the world, and I do not look down upon them.
However, I could not be happier with the choice I have made--to lead
a dedicated spiritual life, a life which, thanks to my spiritual
Master, Sri Chinmoy, is fulfilled in unceasing self-transcendence.
I thank the author of the question, and thank all those who might
read this for the opportunity to share my views.
#3321
From: nemi_fredner
Date: Sat Mar 27, 2004 4:19 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
I am extremely fortunate to have been a student of Sri Chinmoy since
the age of 18. I am now 54. For 36 years I have been privileged to
receive Sri Chinmoy's illumined spiritual guidance and encouragement
in every aspect of my life.
As a woman on this path, I am able to cultivate my capacities and my
feminine qualities in a powerfully nurturing environment together
with my fellow students. I feel safe; I feel strong. In the Sri
Chinmoy Centre, I meditate, I sing, I write, I run, I organise
projects, I perform in plays, I travel and meet people from many
different cultures with remarkably similar aspirations. In the job I
have held in the so-called "outer world" for 27 years, I work hard
and interact cheerfully and harmoniously with my colleagues. Thanks
to Sri Chinmoy, the inner life and the outer life, for me, have
become seamless. There is no difference. The spiritual life is
everything, and everything in life is spiritual.
I know my goal, be it ever so far, and I know my way. Along the way,
opportunities reach out to me constantly, thanks to my spiritual
teacher. Every aspect of my life is tended to with utmost care and
concern. Sri Chinmoy has given me the most beautiful name--which
means sanctity, purity, sacredness--and he has given me the constant
encouragement to grow into these divine qualities. What more could I
ask from life? For all the blessings I have received, I am
profoundly grateful.
#3322
From: balarka_sa
Date: Sat Mar 27, 2004 11:46 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Dear Eta,
Reading your post brought to life a memory from a Joy weekend in
Wellington in November 1996 (not sure about the date). A few of us
had driven down from Auckland and quite a few people (including you)
had driven up from Christchurch and taken the ferry from Picton.
After the weekend was over, I distinctly remember how you went
around to every single person and thanked each one of us
individually. You were so incredibly grateful for the whole
experience. I remember thinking that it was as if you couldn't
really believe that what you had experienced was really true it
was as though the whole thing seemed like a dream and you fully
expected to wake up at any moment. It was a truly moving experience
to witness. Ever since then I have always had the utmost respect for
you the fact that you joined the Centre at the age of 53, and with
such enthusiasm and determination has always profoundly inspired me.
#3326
From: sundari_one
Date: Sat Mar 27, 2004 11:50 pm
Subject: Equality in the Sri Chinmoy Centres
I have been so inspired by every single one of the posts in answer
to the Question for the Women, including the last one from the
moderator. It was long, but I read every word! Thank you for your
eloquence.
I just wanted to mention another thing that I find interesting about
our Sri Chinmoy Centres and that is the lack of bias based on age.
We are a large family and many of us have known each other for
decades. Many other members are relatively recent additions to our
family. Yet each person is appreciated for his or her own good
qualities, regardless of age. Within our group we relate to each
other equally whether male or female, old or young. It makes no
difference. We seem to have an ageless feeling. We see each other as
just people, brothers and sisters, without the stereotypes of age
and gender that are so prevalent in the outer world.
Perhaps this is because many of us who are single don't have the
responsibilities of people in society to "grow up" and take on the
"adult" responsibilities of raising a family, etc. We still have a
childlike feeling of trust and faith in God and in our spiritual
father, Sri Chinmoy. It is such a precious gift to be able to keep
that childlike quality all our lives.
We are only as old as we feel!
In oneness,
--Sundari
------------------------------------------------------------
#3343
From: sunchia_nz
Date: Sun Mar 28, 2004 5:03 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Is the Sri Chinmoy Centre a safe place for women? Yes, since I
became a student of Sri Chinmoy this is the safest I have been in my
entire life. Here I find a spiritual freedom and a secure
environment to be who I truly am. The Sri Chinmoy Centre enables me
to be very much an individual, to strive for my inner life, and also
to be part of a wonderful, caring family.
The support and friendship shared with me is overwhelming, and as
the mother of a small child, I feel so much care and warmth. There
is a pureness here and simplicity that strengthens the soul, mind,
body and entire being. This is "living" safe. There are many
opportunities to embrace a healthy and balanced lifestyle.
Since being part of the Sri Chinmoy Centre, my life has changed
within and without, allowing me to let go of fear, to wake up, stand
tall and walk forward.
Sunchia Raphael
New Zealand
------------------------------------------------------------
#3344
From: stacey_auckland
Date: Sun Mar 28, 2004 5:43 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Without a doubt, being a student of Sri Chinmoy has positively
enhanced and enriched my life. With all the outer world problems
that we face, it is a relief to find a place where we are valued for
the beauty of our hearts. Race, religion and gender are, you could
say, 'left at the door'. Sri Chinmoy has created and inspired in his
Centres all around the world, a feeling of purity and a haven where
we as individuals can develop spiritually.
In my years in the Centre, I feel I have gained inner poise and
confidence that has assisted me in coping with the worldly problems
often faced in day-to-day life. I feel I am now seeing the world in
a new light, with more compassion, a feeling of oneness, a sense of
gratitude for what I have and what I am, and the passion to live
every day to its fullest. This process has not been one of adopting
somebody else's beliefs and attitudes, but one of self-discovery
through meditation, and being surrounded with positive people and a
positive environment in which to grow inwardly. This in turn has
flowed over into the attainment of a more harmonious and successful
outer life.
Most people I encounter are very positive about my choice of a
spiritual lifestyle. I find it reassuring that an increasing number
of people are gaining insight into the benefits of spirituality. It
seems that this understanding is becoming more mainstream, and that
people are realising that adding spirituality to the physical and
mental "diet" creates a life of purity, balance and harmony.
We as individual seekers may often fall short of the ideal as we
strive towards transforming and perfecting our nature. I personally
may not always be a perfect representative of the spiritual life,
but having spent time with Sri Chinmoy, I have never seen him fall
short in any area. He stands as a radiant example of pure and living
spirituality.
Sri Chinmoy came to the West 40 years ago, bringing with him a solid
foundation of 20 years of spiritual discipline in India. During his
youthful ashram years he lived a life of meditation and service,
enriched with sports and cultural activities.
Since that time, he has devoted himself to sharing his spiritual
experiences with Westerners. His life of complete dedication to
serving a higher cause must inevitably be valued by seekers far and
wide in the fullness of time. For those who do not personally know
Sri Chinmoy, his spiritual realisation and personal integrity are
crystal clear from his writings, which can be read at http://www.srichinmoy.org/ .
Yes, the Sri Chinmoy Centre is a safe place for women and children.
Unfortunately the world around us is not always safe. I live in hope
that one day the purity and beauty in the hearts of all the truth-
seekers and God-lovers of the world, no matter which spiritual path
they choose to follow, will spread and create a pure and safe world
for all of us to live in--a world where humanity can freely express
pure love and compassion, and live in oneness and harmony with each
other.
Stacey Marsh
New Zealand
------------------------------------------------------------
#3345
From: sudhirahay
Date: Sun Mar 28, 2004 6:21 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
This question about safety is one that I have never asked myself in
all the years I have been a student of Sri Chinmoy!
My mother joined Sri Chinmoy Centre when I was four years old.
Meditation and having a spiritual teacher have been utterly normal
things to me for as long as I can remember. Growing up in Sri
Chinmoy Centre does not mean you do not know the world, or are
separated from the world. I went to school, had friends, etc. In
fact, I was lucky in that the school I went to was rooted in another
spiritual tradition--so they understood and taught meditation to
every student who was interested. They let me meditate in the way I
was used to.
Since Sri Chinmoy's path advocates, among other things, a celibate
lifestyle, I would say that the only difference between myself and
my friends was my lack of interest in partying.
Seeing my friends go through some heavy-duty teenage stuff
(sometimes extending into their adult lives), I have always been
grateful that I did not have to follow that route to "feel alive".
The path offers enough challenges to keep me more than adequately
occupied, whether it is something relatively simple, like physical
fitness or learning songs, or something harder, like trying to face
and transform one's own undivine qualities. Sri Chinmoy's path, with
its clear criteria for leading a pure life, offers students the
ultimate safe environment for the world's hardest task: the
transformation of our human failings into positive strengths.
Recently, Sri chinmoy made an off-the-cuff comment that goes
something like this (I paraphrase): "The time will come when men
will sincerely appreciate the divine qualities of women, and women
will sincerely appreciate the divine qualities of men. At that time,
both will be able to make the fastest progress."
------------------------------------------------------------
#3349
From: nayak_ltp
Date: Mon Mar 29, 2004 1:13 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Dear Moderator,
Your new question is another good one. "Is the Sri Chinmoy Centre a
safe place for children?" I hope that some of the members of our
Centre who grew up with Sri Chinmoy will answer this--as well as the
women who raised them.
I would also say that all of us who have been in the Centre have
pretty rapidly become children in spirit, even at age 64; and while
safety is always there, joy is a much more lively presence.
#3376
From: sarada1007
Date: Tue Mar 30, 2004 6:44 am
Subject: The whole safety thing
I didn't respond to this question originally because I didn't really
feel that the issue of safety had much to do with my spiritual life
(I read the original post and just thought, 'huh?'). I actually
doubted it had much to do with anyone's spiritual life, although
subsequently the concept of safety has been interpreted in many
different ways. I can also see now that the reason I was not
interested in the question of safety is that it 'goes without
saying' that women (and also children and men) are completely safe
in the Sri Chinmoy Centres. It is such a non-issue that my brain
couldn't even really engage with the question.
Having said that, I cannot imagine that anybody would join a
spiritual group or stay within it primarily for that reason. There
are many other, much easier ways to stay safe in those terms and (if
you happen to be female) then, let's face it, getting married is
probably one of them! We all know that a lone female is less likely
to be hassled with a wedding ring on her finger, and so in some ways
being single makes you more vulnerable to the 'outside' world. The
real point here, however, is not to do with physical or even
emotional safety (which can easily be found elsewhere) but rather
the safety of the 'highest self'. Within the Sri Chinmoy Centres,
that part of us which seeks satisfaction in the highest and
absolutely most profound sense is provided with the ultimate safe
haven. This is surely one of the reasons why so many people (of both
sexes) choose to stay within it indefinitely.
------------------------------------------------------------
#3404
From: Kriyavati
Date: Wed Mar 31, 2004 11:28 am
Subject: gratitude to everyone
My heart and my soul just want to express my profound gratitude to
everyone for all the inspiration I am getting from reading all these
messages from all over the world. Every post has a new and different
inspiration-flavour. Thank you so much.
As a woman, I would like to say that being a student of Sri Chinmoy
brings more happiness into my life. It is a very safe environment
and every day brings new opportunities to become a better, stronger,
more confident and more independent person. This path has inspired
me to do things that keep me healthy through sports, arts and
specially through meditation and prayers. I find my life so
interesting with new goals, new challenges all the time, and very
often with solutions unpredicted and unexpected. (That makes it very
interesting!)
Sri Chinmoy is a real inspiration with his vivid examples of
transcendence. All my gratitude goes specially to him and to
everyone in our dearest familly who is trying to create a better
world to live in. I would add that it is a real privilege to be on
this path.
Love and gratitude to all,
Kriyavati, Montreal
------------------------------------------------------------
#3405
From: molingmonika
Date: Wed Mar 31, 2004 5:10 am
Subject: Re: Question for the women
Thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to express myself
on this important matter.
First of all, I would like to say that people (women and men) join
Sri Chinmoy's path because they feel an inner urge for spirituality
and the inner life. Many are not satisfied living the ordinary
material life because inside them are questions like "Who am I?",
"Where do I come from?", "What is the meaning of life?" or "Where
will I be after death?".
Since I was a child, I myself always liked to pray and speak to God.
I wondered why there is no school for the inner values in a world
where there are so many schools of different kinds. So finally
finding Sri Chinmoy's meditation school was like finding the school
I always wanted. Sri Chinmoy himself is the head of this school
because he has gone through all the lessons of the inner and outer
life, and so he knows how to teach others. I wish many more could
have the beautiful experience of his harmonious and loving
teachings. It is our own experience which is the real proof of the
God-consciousness Sri Chinmoy brings down.
Yes, it is true: in the centre we feel protected, for diverse
reasons both spiritual and practical. When we lead a spiritual life,
we pray to God and we meditate on God. We feel God's presence and
guidance, and we know He never abandons us. He protects us from
wrong forces. Leading a spiritual life, we dress in a modest way so
as not to cause wrong thoughts in others. Also, if women travel the
streets at night, Sri Chinmoy himself recommends that they travel in
a group of at least two or three (never alone). This is a
commonsense protection.
Sri Chinmoy's path offers an integral approach. With his method we
are working on all the five levels of ourselves: body, vital, mind,
heart and soul. We try to transform our limited nature into a more
fulfilling and liberating consciousness. Anything that disturbs us
we gradually tranform into its opposite positive quality. For
example, the lethargy of the body becomes action, the aggression of
the vital becomes dynamism, the doubt of the mind becomes faith, the
insecurity of the heart becomes certainty and the hidden soul
becomes our true experience.
So also, the lower vital forces (or sexual instincts) are not
"repressed," but rather transformed through meditation on the heart,
which brings us abundant purity. Through our love for God, we
transform our lower impulses into a higher energy we can use to
serve God in humanity. Of course, nothing is immediate. The
transformation of our nature takes time, so that is why we go to
school and have a teacher. We are all learning, and our goal is
constant progress.
#3415
From: anna_canberra
Date: Wed Mar 31, 2004 9:48 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Here is my response to your "Question For The Women".
International Women's Day fell close to a special day on our Centre
calendar, the anniversary of Sri Chinmoy's first marathon. Many
members of the Centre celebrated it by running a marathon on the
weekend of March 6/7. Especially with my 10th anniversary in the
Centre approaching, this gave me the opportunity to reflect on my
experience.
I joined the Sri Chinmoy Centre at 28 years of age in Sydney, not
with any particular problems in my outer life, but with a strong
sense that there must be more to life, and with an inner urge to
make more progress with meditation, which I had already begun to
practise.
The word "spirituality" was then a new word in my everyday
vocabulary; but as I continued to attend the sessions run by the
Centre, I embraced the spiritual life as it is lived by students of
Sri Chinmoy with the knowledge that there was no turning back for
me.
Why did I do this? I found that the Centre members had in common an
underlying sense of joy, peace, sincerity and purity. The group
meetings became the highlight of my week, a spiritual oasis in a
busy, modern, city life. Sri Chinmoy's teachings rang 100% true in
every atom of my being, and I found that all the questions I had
ever asked were being answered.
I must admit that when people started talking about running
marathons, I was of the belief that this was probably not for me. My
physical constitution has always been a little tempermental. But I
felt an inner urge to start running, so I gradually did. I would
never have imagined that not only would I go on to run marathons,
but also ultra- marathons. I was a member of the relay teams for the
Sri Chinmoy Oneness-Home Peace Run in three countries: Norway,
Australia, and the US.
While running to celebrate Sri Chinmoy's running career, the joy of
my own running memories--which is only one aspect of my life in the
Centre--revisited me. I was filled with gratitude for the tremendous
opportunities presented to me as a student of Sri Chinmoy. Anybody
who has been to a marathon can verify that women are badly
outnumbered on the field. Yet in the Centre, I have never felt like
a "minority", intimidated, or limited in what I can achieve. To the
contrary, I feel that limitations are to be challenged and
transcended.
So to say that the spiritual life is empowering is true. We live in
times where women have increased freedom to express themselves in
all facets of life, and I believe this relates to their spiritual
expression as well.
While it is true that I feel protected in the Centre, this is not
why I remain a member. It is the love, joy and peace that I feel
that keeps me close, and the protection comes part and parcel with
it.
In history, many virtuous people have been victims of ignorant and
undivine attitudes. Does this mean they should not be virtuous? Of
course not. If people misunderstand or criticise my spirituality,
then let them. It does not change who I am.
Returning to your question: I cannot comment on the cause of mental
sickness, but someone who has this pre-disposition would find solace
in spirituality because of the peace and joy that it brings, without
which destructive forces can surface in a more aggressive way.
So yes, Sri Chinmoy Centre is a safe place for women. As we devote
our lives to God, the Divine Grace protects and expands our lives.
------------------------------------------------------------
#3486
From: sushmitam_r
Date: Sat Apr 3, 2004 2:45 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Re: Qn For Women - therapy, Freud, false memory - reply to 3311
--Dear Moderator, thank you for your very detailed analysis of the
psychological factors at play in this whole issue of therapy and the
potential for false accusations towards spiritual groups. It is a
fascinating issue (to me as a psychologist anyway!) but also a
rather distasteful one to contemplate. Whenever I read in the papers
of this type of abuse supposedly occurring in a spiritual group, I
always keep an open mind about where the truth really lies. At any
rate, since you have expanded on some of the things I wrote in my
previous posting, I've decided to add a few comments.
I believe that the scenario you describe whereby a patient may come
to say that she has been abused by a spiritual group definitely
occurs. The process you describe is at the more gross end of
therapeutic irresponsibility, and readers may be shocked to realise
that this can happen. I have two main comments relating to this
issue. The first involves an elaboration of some of the more subtle
ways in which false accusations may arise. The second is an
explanation for how there can be such incredibly abusive therapy.
1.You elaborated on the psychological processes which may occur when
someone leaves a spiritual path - a path which they found positive,
but which challenged aspects of their nature which they chose not to
transform. I think in my original posting I emphasised the grief
involved in leaving, and you have quite rightly identified guilt as
another factor. You emphasised guilt in relation to the spiritual
teacher and friends on the path. I would also add that I think there
is enormous guilt in relation to the self in such cases. A person
who has found great love and light through a spiritual path, but
cannot bear to give up old ways, is at some level aware that they
are betraying their own highest self or soul. How could such a
person possibly bear the knowledge of this self-betrayal? One way is
to make the group or the Guru 'bad' in their mind. I think this
helps us to understand the process you describe (which might
otherwise seem an unlikely scenario) whereby a patient ends up
agreeing with what are basically lies put forward by the therapist.
The therapist's suggestion of abuse helps the patient to resolve the
internal conflict of leaving something which has been positive, so
she is willing to take these lies onboard.
Importantly though, in my opinion, false memories and accusations of
abuse can also arise directly from the patient, without therapist
suggestion. How could it be that a patient comes up with her own
lies - and believes them?? Surely just needing to find a way of
dealing with the inner conflict arising from leaving a spiritual
group would not be enough to produce such lies! To understand this
phenomenon, we can obtain a little help from an old friend of mine,
Sigmund Freud! (Yes I know Freud is out of date, and overemphasised
the role of the sexual impulse in everything, but some of his ideas
are still very relevant. Bear with me!)
Freud discovered, to his absolute amazement, that some of his female
patients were falling in love with him and expecting or believing
that he too would love them! What on earth was going on?? He
eventually came to the understanding that patients project onto
their therapist many unresolved desires and impulses, and that they
do this completely unconsciously. This process of projection (or
transference, as it is called in the therapy context) can be
observed in all sorts of relationships. It is accentuated in the
type of therapy Freud advocated, where the therapist does not give
much away about himself personally, so the patient, in the absence
of any clues to the contrary, projects onto the 'blank slate' of the
therapist all sorts of issues, which are then used by the therapist
as information about the patient. (A simplistic example: someone who
grew up with parents who were constantly angry with her, easily
expects anger, and so will come to believe her therapist is angry
with her even when he is not.)
Interestingly, this phenomenon is common in the spiritual life,
particularly when there is a Guru involved. A spiritual seeker,
hoping for transformation, will project on the Guru all sorts of
emotions, hopes and desires, some consciously and some
unconsciously. To use the example I gave above, a seeker who has
unresolved problems with anger, may feel that her Guru is angry with
her, even when he is not.
A Guru like Sri Chinmoy offers inner guidance to thousands of
seekers, and helps them in their meditation; but he cannot possibly
become personally involved in all the details of each person's life.
If a seeker projects her desires on the Guru, there may be little
opportunity to "talk it out." The seeker is responsible for
maintaining the right attitude. Hopefully, through meditation and
perhaps some reality checking with others, she will come to see how
she expects anger much of the time, and because of this she is blind
to the spiritual love that her Guru is inwardly expressing. I have
frequently observed this phenomenon at play amongst Sri Chinmoy's
students, and usually it is all part of the transformation process
and has a positive outcome.
Now if this process of projection by the seeker includes sexual or
aggressive impulses, as it did with Freud, and the seeker leaves
before these are transformed, the misperceiving of the Guru can lead
to accusations of abuse of various sorts. In this case, the person
actually sees and experiences her own impulses as being those of the
Guru. It then requires a much smaller slip in perception of reality
for such a person to believe that a Guru has behaved in an abusive
manner. Unfortunately, the line between sanity and madness is not as
clear as most people believe - as anyone working in the
psychological field will affirm!
2. Now to the issue of how on earth there can be such irresponsible
and abusive therapists! This is truly an appalling state of affairs,
and is largely due to the training or lack thereof in the therapy
profession. I'm not sure how therapy training and legislation works
in the USA, but the problem is very clear in Australia. For
starters, anyone at all, without one day of training, or any
psychological insight, can hang up a shingle outside an office and
describe themselves as "counsellor", "therapist" or
"psychotherapist". These titles have no legal requirements attached
to them!
Then there are psychiatrists. In Australia, their training is first
a medical degree, then postgraduate specialisation in psychiatry,
which is largely training on the use of psychiatric medication. They
get almost no training in the talking side of things. This is fine
if they stick to prescribing and adjusting medication, which many of
them do. However others dabble in counselling or therapy with no
extra training - as do ordinary doctors here.
Now to psychologists! I am one of these. I can confidently say that
in a basic psychology degree here in Australia, one can gain high
marks solely on the basis of investigating animal behaviour (e.g.,
pigeons). After this, one is let loose to practice on people - at
first under supervision, and then on one's own. This is another
recipe for therapeutic disaster!
Many people in the helping professions choose to get extra training
(thank God!), but it is not required by their professional body, and
is of varying quality. In my opinion, to be effective, any training
in this area MUST require the trainee to undergo therapy him or
herself. Otherwise, aspects of the therapist's own personality,
which are unrecognised, will be projected onto the patients. The
best therapists that I have come across have all had this type of
training. Certainly some therapists are more gifted than others, but
the worst case scenarios you describe occur due to a lack of proper
training.
As I said in my previous posting, I was very fortunate myself to
have a therapist who was full of integrity and understanding and was
very well trained. He freely admitted to me that he had no firsthand
experience in the area of spirituality, but he was very respectful
of my experience and had no agenda of his own in relation to the
lifestyle and beliefs I came to adopt.
Well! Never did I imagine that I would find myself posting on such a
psychologically convoluted topic on this site! The spiritual life is
always full of surprises!
With gratitude
Sushmitam
------------------------------------------------------------
#3575
From: Sara in Italy
Date: Wed Apr 7, 2004 2:24 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Being a Sri Chinmoy student means, for me, such a beautiful
experience that cannot be described by words. If I only think about
it, my heart becomes full of pure joy. I feel I finally arrived to
my "safe part" in order to start my fruitful path in pure safety and
trust, together with many beautiful people.
I didn't even think such beautiful people could exist, and being in
constant contact with them brought so much joy and inspiration in my
life. I live in Italy and I started on Sri Chinmoy's path only three
years ago, but my life has totally changed for the better Already
after the first year I saw so many changes in myself. I feel I am
changing and constantly bettering myself.
There is nothing strange or "mysterious" in following a spiritual
path under the guidance of a Master. We are not extraterrestrials or
people who need psychiatric help. We are just ordinary people who
somehow received an "inner call" or an inspiration to look after
something inside ourselves, because the outer life alone could not
satisfy our needs. Or, simply, someone met some students of Sri
Chinmoy: they are optimistic, joyful and full of peace, sweetness,
balance, determination, eagerness, sincerity, purity and other
beautiful qualities that cannot often be observed in the majority of
people. I was one of those average people. Absolutely not better.
Nobody would even think that I could one day receive such joy in
practising the spiritual life.
Spiritual life is not the punishing life that everybody expects.
When we sincerely pray and meditate and we try to do what our heart
tells us, we look at life, people, trees and the world in a
different way. We experience true joy inside and the people around
feel it, because our eyes are beaming, smiling at the world and the
world feels something beautiful and gets inspiration, even if
unconsciously. I can see in my everyday life that the small
vibration of peace and happiness I offer touches the hearts of
others. I work in a shop and often speak with people who do not
practice any spiritual life. They could seem impolite and stressed
out--but every one of them can reveal his or her own best qualities
with a little care, politeness and happiness. I do not make any
effort, I am just happy at last, and people just feel it and smile.
I can get so much peace and joy on this path. I deeply feel Sri
Chinmoy's protection, guidance, help and presence.
Our soul can guide our life. We are used to hearing messages from
our mind, but we consciously make mistakes and have negative
experiences. Not so when following the dictates of our soul.
Everybody has a soul, but very rarely can people catch it's
messages. A spiritual Master, who has already discovered the power
of his own soul by completing his own journey, can help us feel what
is best to do in our lives according to our soul's needs. Behaving
in the proper way and also following our "good sense," we can
overcome many obstacles.
I feel very happy and safe in the Sri Chinmoy Centre. These are not
words coming from blind trust to someone or something, but from a
clear and sure inner feeling, and from personal experiences I have
had which gave answers to my inner doubts.
On this path we learn to listen to our heart and soul, which we can
begin to understand in small measure as intuition. Intuition is not
mental information, it is certainty of the truth. We get a flash of
intuition, and we discover it was really true. The heart knows this
truth in an instant because it identifies with the truth. But the
mind puts us through many trials and doubts, and at times can act
like an enemy if we give it too much power in the wrong way.
As for the moderator's idea that spiritual sickness leads to mental
sickness... I think that spirituality and mental illness go in
opposite directions. Real spirituality goes through the heart. By
meditating on the heart we get peace, understanding, love and a
feeling of oneness with the rest of the world. The mind separates
us, makes us feel ourselves as better than others, and makes us
behave as egoists, to get more power over others.
The wrong way to understand or conceive of a certain religion is to
fail to follow feelings of oneness, brotherhood and love for each
other. This way uses the mind for its power goals. This explains the
fears of some parents and relatives who do not know how different
Sri Chinmoy Centre is from what they imagine. Our path is based on
love, care, understanding and the transformation of many negative
qualities (egoism, aggressivity, etc.).
We follow the path of the heart because the joy of the heart is not
defeated by these negative qualities. Of course, this does not mean
that Sri Chinmoy's students do not use the mind. If the mind can be
guided by the spiritual heart, then it acts in the correct way. The
heart always knows what is right and how to get to it. We are all
equal before God, and all of us have this wonderful opportunity to
progress, because each of us has the spiritual heart, and the
beautiful soul within.
Sri Chinmoy's path has been and is for me a wonderful opportunity to
evolve and better myself, to listen to my inner voice. I faced and
overcame without particular efforts many experiences which three
years ago I would have considered as impossible for me. My
determination and willingness increased--and most important, I am
learning to listen to my inner voice.
I am so certain about that, I feel it so strongly, that I simply do
not care about what others think or say. I am sure that if they only
could feel what I am feeling, they would never doubt my new way of
life. I like so much Sri Chinmoy's path. I rightly feel I am the
most fortunate person on Earth.
#3603
From: prachar_1
Date: Fri Apr 9, 2004 8:56 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Dear Moderator,
You have tackled a complex and difficult subject, and shone a
searchlight of pure understanding into what is at best a dense
forest, and at worst a putrid quagmire that has engulfed the lives
of many. That you stride confidently where many fear to tread is a
testament to your courage and the powerful conviction that impels
you.
I am astonished that you are familiar with the writing of Richard
Guilliatt, an authority whose work was also cited in a court case in
Canberra, Australia--a case where the insidious nature of so-called
'recovered memory' was fully exposed, and the devastating
consequences of false tales of abuse on the lives of innocent people
was amply demonstrated.
I am grateful also that you have quoted from Sushmitam's incisive
posting on this subject. I found particular resonance in her
comments about the need to turn all one's good memories into bad in
order to deal with the grief of leaving a spiritual community:
"I remember an experience I had when I was quite new on the path a
year or two perhaps. I was overwhelmed by the love, the peace and
the experiences of God that I had gained on the path, but at the
same time was struggling with some of the lifestyle aspects of the
path. I realised at this time that my positive experiences far
outweighed my struggles and that I definitely did not want to leave
the path. However in dealing with this struggle, I came to the
realisation that if anything ever pulled me away from the path, the
only way I would be able to bear to leave, would be to destroy in my
mind all the positive experiences I had gained otherwise the grief
of leaving would be completely overwhelming. Everything good would
have to be made bad, everything pure made impure, in order to
justify to myself such an action."
Sushmitam's testimony is the fruit of deep and sincere inner
reflection. (Some truths cannot be counterfeited.) Interestingly and
eerily, her words bear a close resemblance to some spoken to me
twenty years ago by a former mentor on this path, one who was later
to enact, puppet-like, the truth of his own prescient words.
So to return to the original writer: Your contribution in this field
is truly invaluable. You are literally helping to save lives.
#3611
From: ckgaparajita
Date: Sat Apr 10, 2004 10:14 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
The moderator wrote:
"Yet, social scientists who have studied the data have concluded
that people who join religious movements tend to do so in response
to deeply felt spiritual needs--often after a period in which they
were dissatisfied with the quality of their spiritual life. This is
certainly borne out by the women's stories in this thread."
It is also borne out by my own experience. When I first became a
student of Sri Chinmoy, my parents -- as many do -- thought I had
fallen into a dangerous trap, that there must have been something
"wrong" with me that compelled me to join this "group."
So, figuring I was a poor 18-year-old who had lost his way, they
sent me to a well-known psychologist who specialized in teenage
problems. He was a very nice man. I showed him some of Guru's books,
which he read. I told him what our path was about (or at least what
I understood of it after a few months) and what our spiritual
practice was.
After a few visits, he had made his analysis and met with me and my
parents. I shall never, ever forget that meeting; it is forever
etched in my consciousness! It went something like this:
Psychologist: First of all, Mr. and Mrs. X, I want to start by
saying that your son is a perfectly normal, well-adjusted boy of 18.
I give him a completely clean bill of health.
Parents: We don't doubt that, Doctor, but what we want to know is
why he felt the need to join this group?
Psychologist: Instead of answering that question, why don't we
answer this question: why did you feel the need to send him to me,
just because he decided to join a spiritual group? All of us seek
the Truth in our own way. Some people seek the Truth more
vociferously than others. [I remember so vividly he used the word
"vociferously".] Your son happens to be one of those people. I see
absolutely no harm either in his search for the Truth or in the path
he has chosen to follow.
God bless that psychologist! He really saved me. More than that, he
proved that there are good psychologists out there who really
understand human nature from a broad point of view.
#3730
From: srichinmoyinspiration
Date: Thu Apr 22, 2004 2:18 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
I will soon post the digest of the discussion topic "Question For
The Women" from the Sri Chinmoy Inspiration Group, March/April 2004.
This will be Version 2 of the digest, containing all the messages
published so far (through April 21). The URL will be:
I was deeply moved by the outpouring of responses to the question.
The women are being very gracious in taking time out from their busy
schedules. I hope I will not be accused of keeping them from their
prayers, meditations, careers and families if I say that I have
further comments and questions.
I hope to follow up soon. For now, I would just like to express my
gratitude to all who are posting. You are providing a rich source of
information about Sri Chinmoy Centre which was hitherto unavailable.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I hope also that in speaking up honestly about their lives, none of
the women have experienced undue hardship. Where anti-cult groups
email the women links to pornographic material, I really feel this
is a crime, and deserves to be treated as a crime. Even if the
person doing it is mentally ill, still you would think he would show
some conscience. But perhaps for some people, that's what mental
illness is--a loss of conscience, and a loss of empathy for those
whom they once loved, and who once tried to help them overcome their
lifelong problems.
Sometimes a spiritual teacher has to be part psychologist, part
social worker--even music therapist! It is well known that those in
the helping professions run the greatest risk of being cyberstalked.
Over the years, Sri Chinmoy has done much outreach work with
troubled youth. He has helped many people turn their lives around;
but I think for some people it's still a daily battle to live a
decent life. Sometimes, even after twenty years or more of fighting
the good fight, a person relapses into solipsistic behavior, such as
problems with drugs and alcohol (or just plain brute selfishness).
Then they may lash out at someone they once loved--someone who
honestly tried to help them. They try to hang on to a former mentor
in a troubled way, by stalking him on the Internet. It seems that
anti-cult groups encourage this kind of felonious activity.
According to information found at:
some of the methods used by cyberstalkers to harass their victims
include:
- Creating websites about the victim to attack or harass them
- Posting in a newsgroup or on an online discussion forum or
discussion board to attack the victim
- Accusing the victim of paedophilia to incite harassment of the
victim
Cyber-stalking.net is a resource you can use to learn more about
online safety. Where an online service turns a blind eye to
harassment and stalking behavior, as a last resort it may be
necessary to file a police report.
There is something noble in the sacrifices made by the women telling
their personal stories; for in doing so, they are joining in the
same outreach work which has earned Sri Chinmoy a reputation as a
saint among thousands of people who were crying for a better life,
but who did not feel they had the tools to change their lives until
they learned meditation under his silent gaze.
Those who have received inner awakening and have begun their
spiritual journey sometimes find that the world is ready to devour
them with its suspicion. In following the age-old spiritual counsel
to be pure of heart and childlike in spirit, they may find that they
are mocked and set upon, and that they must be as lambs among
wolves.
I applaud the women for their courage, and hope they will continue
to speak out on issues of concern. Their innocence and purity speaks
volumes about their character, and the character of their teacher.
When people read their stories, I think that a process of slow,
careful reflection will begin, and this will help lead many people
to a deeper understanding.
I believe that in leading a pure life, the women bring forth a
special inner beauty which is unparalleled, and which inspires
everyone whose hearts they touch. This beauty is on the inner plane,
and therefore is eternal and immortal. There is so much beauty on
Sri Chinmoy's path, and this beauty is born of purity and
innocence--qualities which the women have demonstrated in ample
measure, in addition to their strength and courage. I thank them
once again.
Assistant Moderator
------------------------------------------------------------
Here is the digest of the discussion topic "Question For The Women"
from the Sri Chinmoy Inspiration Group, March/April 2004. This is
Version 2 of the digest, containing all the messages published so
far (through April 21).
I hope discussion will continue, but this seems like a good time to
take a deep breath and collect what has already been said. It is an
amazing record!
I'm extremely grateful to the women for taking the time and effort
to make their feelings known. You are not just helping each other,
but also raising the consciousness of the men in Sri Chinmoy Centre,
and providing valuable primary source material about the daily lives
of spiritual seekers.
All gratitude,
Assistant Moderator
-------------------
Question For The Women - Digest Version 2 - Message List
#3032 - Moderator Question
#3048 - Salil
#3052 - Lotika
#3054 - Karpani
#3060 - Nayak
#3061 - Latinova
#3069 - Moderator Comment
#3078 - Sundari
#3084 - Bhuvah
#3085 - Sarah
#3086 - Gemma
#3087 - Sushmitam
#3088 - Emma
#3092 - Arpan
#3093 - Mayuri
#3094 - Harita
#3096 - Sipra
#3100 - Dharmaja
#3104 - Suchatula
#3105 - Ahelee
#3110 - Phoolanjaya
#3112 - Sunamita
#3124 - Kapila
#3125 - Natabara
#3130 - Sushmitam
#3146 - Kakali
#3152 - Nandita
#3163 - Moderator Comment
#3164 - Kate
#3172 - Vasudha
#3173 - Mrinali
#3177 - Salil
#3180 - Prema
#3182 - Sushmitam
#3185 - Fiona
#3196 - Wendy Metzler
#3197 - Lucy
#3201 - Julie
#3204 - Devaki
#3207 - Prashanta
#3215 - David
#3223 - Tirtha
#3234 - Kylie
#3236 - Nishima
#3237 - Gael
#3239 - Sophie
#3242 - Toshala and Wendy Elliott
#3257 - Sutibra
#3258 - Kuhakini
#3262 - Eta
#3263 - Alana
#3267 - Karnayati
#3272 - Sumitra
#3273 - Jacqui
#3276 - Anami
#3290 - Hladini
#3291 - Paramita
#3297 - Devaki
#3300 - Sugandha
#3310 - Nishtha
#3311 - Moderator Comment
#3312 - Nilima
#3313 - Nayak
#3320 - Tanima
#3321 - Nemi
#3322 - Balarka
#3326 - Sundari
#3343 - Sunchia
#3344 - Stacey
#3345 - Sudhira
#3349 - Nayak
#3376 - Sarada
#3404 - Kriyavati
#3405 - Monika
#3415 - Anna
#3486 - Sushmitam
#3575 - Sara in Italy
#3603 - Prachar
#3611 - Aparajita
#3730 - Moderator Comment
MESSAGES
#3032
From: srichinmoyinspiration
Date: Fri Mar 19, 2004 2:28 am
Subject: Question For The Women
March 8th was International Women's Day. We failed to mark the
event, but I'm thinking maybe we should have. I would like to ask
the women how their experience as students of Sri Chinmoy has shaped
their lives.
We see that in the outer world, there are so many problems with
rape, abuse, and harassment. I get the feeling that many women stick
close to Sri Chinmoy Centre because they feel protected there.
Sometimes in the outer world, people make fun of women who choose
the spiritual life, saying they are "repressed" and other unkind
things. But I once heard an interview with a woman who said she felt
empowered by living the spiritual life, and that the role of women
in mainstream society has become vulgarized.
Sometimes in life, those who are most virtuous are taunted by those
who are most wicked, and those who are most innocent are victimized
by those who are most guilty of wrongdoing. Recently, Johnji posted
a poem by Sri Chinmoy called A Life of Innocence. At the time, it
struck me that one reason people are often moved to tears when they
meditate with Sri Chinmoy is that the consciousness he brings down
is one which is completely pure and innocent - so much so that it
brings forth what is pure and innocent in us, and cleans away all
our impurities, like a mother bathing her children.
A painful reality of life is that what is most pure and innocent is
often what is attacked by people who have become troubled. I do not
fully understand it - except that maybe spiritual sickness leads to
mental sickness.
Sometimes it seems that in the outer world, people have many strange
ideas. They think that because someone prays and meditates and joins
in the life of a spiritual community, that means they are "abused."
Also, it seems that if someone leaves a spiritual group and later
enters into therapy, there is tremendous pressure on them to conform
to negative stereotypes about "cults." In some cases, they seem to
make up ridiculous stories designed to please their therapist. Maybe
this is one reason there is so much confusion about spiritual
groups.
I would love to gain some enlightenment from the women on these
issues. Let me play devil's advocate: Is Sri Chinmoy Centre a safe
place for women?
I Think I Love You
God, I think I love You.
"Daughter, what is the proof?"
God, this is the proof:
You know, God,
I do not live with ignorance
Anymore;
I do not play with doubt
Anymore;
I do not cry with fear
Anymore;
I do not eat with jealousy
Anymore;
I do not dance with despair
Anymore.
"Daughter, enough.
You love Me
And
I love you.
Be happy. Remain happy."
-Sri Chinmoy
------------------------------------------------------------
#3048
From: salil_wilson
Date: Fri Mar 19, 2004 12:34 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Fascinating topic.
Very interested to hear responses.
I want to congratulate the question and encourage response but, as a
male, I think it best to shut up for at least one moment and listen
to what the women have to say.
Salil
------------------------------------------------------------
#3052
From: lotika_rus
Date: Fri Mar 19, 2004 1:37 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Hello everybody,
Happy Women's Day!
I would like to express my personal opinion concerning this
important topic. In many places around the world women are treated
as if they are second class human beings, slaves of men. Women are
supposed to be afraid of everything, to be blindly obedient to their
men, to just serve men, etc. This is very true in the place I live:
Russia.
Before I joined the Sri Chinmoy Centre, I was always looking for
freedom and I always wanted to have a different life than most women
of my country. After a while I discovered that the outer freedom
does not really mean to do whatever extraordinary things come into
your mind. By getting this kind of "freedom" I was actually
unconsciously enslaving myself more and more.
When I came to the Centre, I have finally found the equality of
people because in the Centre each person learns how to serve God in
other human beings instead of serving people's ego; therefore it
feels like being in a loving family being surrounded by loving and
supportive sisters and brothers.
Also, I feel that I have found that freedom I was looking for: the
inner freedom when one is not bound by the rules that society is
trying to impose on women and when you can freely live according to
your own inner feelings.
Speaking about people saying that women are being "abused" in the
Centre, I would like to say that this is made up by people who have
not experienced what being in the Centre really means. And even if
these people have been in the Centre on the outer plane, most
probably, they have never made an effort to open themselves and to
be sincere. Even being in the Centre, they just stayed in their
limited minds and did not experience in reality what oneness-heart
is. After all, everyone has a freedom of choice. If I feel secure
and safe in the Centre only, please respect my choice. No one can
judge others' lives without living these lives.
Lotika
O my Lord Supreme,
If You really love me,
Then take away my mind's
False freedom,
And place me at Your Feet
To enjoy real freedom.
- Sri Chinmoy
------------------------------------------------------------
#3054
From: karpani_ru
Date: Fri Mar 19, 2004 3:00 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
This is really a most interesting topic. Thank you for coming up
with it!
I came to know about Sri Chinmoy when I was 18 years old. I was a
University student, and I think generally the atmosphere in the
University is more dignified, in a way, than in most other places in
our country. But what especially impressed me right from the very
first moment I saw students of Sri Chinmoy was that higher level of
dignity, respect and good will for each other and for myself which
seemed to be quite natural for them.
I said to myself, "Oh! I did not even think that such people
existed--and here I find many of them!" I wanted to be a part of
that atmosphere so much, and it was very natural that I decided to
become a student of Sri Chinmoy.
So, just in one or two weeks after I became a student of Sri
Chinmoy, I came to know that there would be a big Joy Day--a
gathering of students of Sri Chinmoy where they share their
inspiration, aspiration and creativity. I was told that it would be
a bright, remarkable event; several hundred of Sri Chinmoy's
students were expected to come from all over the country. It was to
take place near St-Petersburg--actually, not even in the city
proper, but somewhere in the vicinity.
I was so eager to come, but in fact I had never before travelled far
from Moscow like that, on my own. At that time it was quite an
adventure for me, and I was a little worried. When I came to the
train, I found out that quite a few other students of Sri Chinmoy
travelled in the same carriage. And all of them were boys whom I
practically did not know at that time!
I think I would have felt uneasy in other circumstances--but their
behavior was so polite, dignified and respectful that I was again
very deeply impressed and did not worry at all. And when I came to
the Joy Day and could see students of Sri Chinmoy from all over the
country, I felt that this respectful, dignified and pure-hearted
attitude to others was natural for all of them.
And gradually I came to realise that it all comes from Sri Chinmoy
who is a shining example of these qualities and manifests them in
his own life in boundless measure.
So now, 11 years later, I am not afraid of travelling anymore :). I
have travelled to so many other cities, countries, even
continents--and wherever I meet students of Sri Chinmoy I can feel
this good will, politeness, respect and pure-hearted attitude which
makes me feel at home, safe and secure everywhere.
All joy,
Karpani
------------------------------------------------------------
#3060
From: nayak_ltp
Date: Fri Mar 19, 2004 11:31 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
I am also eager to see the responses. As a married man with great
respect for my spouse, I very much appreciate the distinct qualities
that men and women bring to this reality of ours. Now, it is the
turn of the women to offer their special and unique point of view. I
shall join you, Salil, in shutting up (after my long speech here)
and listen.
Yours,
Nayak
------------------------------------------------------------
#3061
From: m_latinova
Date: Sat Mar 20, 2004 1:54 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Writing specially about the women in our centres put a strange for
me emphasis on the issue and not because of other reason, but
because I have always considered all students of Sri Chinmoy as
seekers, seekers of truth, seeker of your true inner self ... so
getting closer to the Master inwardly we are getting closer to our
true self and in this true self there is not fear. Also choosing a
spiritual path is not an escape, but a journey towards something
more meaningful, when nothing around you has been successful to
satisfy you. And this unknown journey without divisions in the
Higher Reality leads you towards more and more light and less and
less fear...
"Separation doesn't know
what affection and bliss are"
Sri Chinmoy
With best regards
my humble opinion on this
hot topic
------------------------------------------------------------
#3069
From: srichinmoyinspiration
Date: Sat Mar 20, 2004 5:42 am
Subject: To Women, Nayak, and Richard
Thanks to the women who replied to my question about how their
experience as students of Sri Chinmoy has shaped their lives. Those
messages were:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration/message/3052
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration/message/3054
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration/message/3061
Gratitude to Lotika, Karpani, and m_latinova for their articulate
and enlightening comments. If anyone else would like to share on
this subject, please consider the question still open.
------------------------------------------------------------
#3078
From: sundari_one
Date: Sat Mar 20, 2004 10:44 am
Subject: Re: Question to the Women
What a wonderful and thoughtful question you have asked. I have been
in the Centre for 32 years, so in many ways I feel as though I have
"grown up" in the Centre. I have spent almost all of my adult years
as a disciple. When I joined, I was very shy and insecure. I was
really afraid of people. But right away I was given so many
opportunities in the Centre, my confidence slowly grew. One example
that comes to mind: We were on a bus trip with Guru in the early
70's. He asked me to come up to the front of the bus and sing a
certain song. I was terrified, but I came up and sang anyway. What
an unexpected and ecstatic experience I had! I felt such a powerful
force coming from Guru giving me confidence as I stood there looking
at all the shining faces of the disciples in the bus. I realized
they weren't judging me, but rooting for me to do well. It was an
amazing moment - such oneness and love. That one experience changed
me, and there have been countless others over the years. I feel now
that I am a completely different person, and it is all due to the
inspiration, encouragement and support I have received from Sri
Chinmoy and from the disciples.
For many years I worked as a secretary downtown, usually as a
temporary. In some jobs I would stay for a week or two, and in
others for several years. During that time I had the opportunity to
observe many different work environments and different types of
people. Many of the people I worked with enjoyed their work and
their family lives, but many more were dissatisfied with their lives
and work and were envious of the freedom I enjoyed. Every time I
went away to New York or on a Christmas Trip, my co-workers would be
so envious of my freedom to just go. Also, even though many were
religious, there was seldom a spiritual atmosphere in the work
environment. I would always have pictures of Guru and flowers and
would be very clear about where I stood, and they appreciated that.
And even though I was a secretary, and a temporary at that, because
of being brought up in the Centre, I never had any sense of
inferiority towards the men that I worked with. In fact, I think
being in the Centre is very empowering for women. Sri Chinmoy gives
us the same opportunities, attention, and importance as the men.
There has never been a sense that we are in any way inferior,
spiritually or otherwise. There is a feeling of real equality.
I think what Sri Chinmoy is doing for women is so important. This is
a time when our society has swung much too far in the direction of
the masculine energy, and for the future of our planet we have to
swing back toward the feminine. I think that by bringing forward the
women in our Path, Guru is helping to make that happen. I don't know
much about other religions, but I doubt that there are many where
women and men have such equal status.
Thank you for asking.
--Sundari
------------------------------------------------------------
#3084
From: bhuvah_nz
Date: Sat Mar 20, 2004 1:56 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Thank you for putting forth this interesting question and giving us
the opportunity to share our feelings on this subject.
In this era, women are in the vanguard of many activities that were
not available to them in former times, and the progress they have
made in most arenas is remarkable. Sri Chinmoy has selflessly and
naturally fostered and encouraged this process.
Within the Centre many women are married, while others are single.
There is no stigma attached to either approach. With married women,
the attitude is taken that they will make progress through their
soul's connection with another person, and that they can run
together in the spiritual life with four arms and four legs. For
single women, such as myself, my personal feeling is one of
liberation. Liberation from dependence on a partner. Liberation from
society's dictates that one is incomplete without a partner and the
basic idea that the meaning of life is simply to find the perfect
relationship. Liberation from the pain of attachment,
possessiveness, expectation and demand that seems to develop so
easily in a relationship. Freedom. Freedom to express my inner
qualities without absorbing or being weighed down and shackled by
the problems of another human being in a close relationship. Freedom
to expand the love in my heart to all forms of creation rather than
focusing too much energy on a single person in a one-to-one
relationship. Freedom to experience the purity of divine love, to
strive to be united with the Supreme. The fact that in the Centre it
is fine - even positive - to be single, if that is your choice and
your preference, is in itself refreshing.
Sri Chinmoy has created a unique spiritual path with equal and
abundant opportunities for both women and men to achieve personal
growth and spiritual progress. It is a lifestyle infused with
culture and creativity, with much variety and many things to do. The
Centres around the world are quite possibly unique in that they
provide a very pure environment where people can focus on their
inner progress, as free as each individual is able to be from outer
distractions. A place where men and women can respect each other
based on their inner qualities rather than their outer appearances
and personalities, where they treat each other as brothers and
sisters and offer their higher qualities of concern, compassion, and
oneness rather than binding each other with limiting desires.
Before entering into the spiritual life I did feel incomplete. At
the time, I mistakenly thought that a relationship would fill the
void, but this only created a few more problems in my life. I was
seeking spirituality and meaning in life, and so entered into the
spiritual life, and found that void was replaced with love of God -
and the expansion of this divine love has become the goal of my
life. Seeing the expression of divine love, compassion, concern in
Sri Chinmoy serves as my inspiration. If one has not experienced
divine love it may be difficult to understand how superior it is to
ordinary human love! God loves us unconditionally and we reflect
this unconditional love back to God. Humanity has forgotten that the
world can only be transformed through pure love, that love is the
greatest power in creation. Without pure love, the brightest future
will remain a dream. With love, joy will return and joy will
transform the negative thought patterns and behaviour that devours
so much of our energy and life force.
In the world, it seems that men are releasing their hierarchies of
power and dominance, and making room for feminine softness, love,
wisdom and oneness, allowing women's natural abilities of
communication, listening, sharing and compassion to come to the
fore.
If people choose to label women in the Sri Chinmoy Centre as
repressed, etc., they are sadly mistaken with their limited
viewpoint, or perhaps they only seek to stand in the way of human
progress. Fortunately, the time has come when women - each one in
her own way - are being asked to step into the light of a new
consciousness, and to realise their most significant role...we are
ready and Sri Chinmoy will encourage us every step of the way.
Love, joy, gratitude,
Bhuvah
------------------------------------------------------------
#3085
From: sarah_mettrick
Date: Sat Mar 20, 2004 7:28 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
In response to your question "Is Sri Chinmoy Centre a safe place for
women?" My immediate response is "absolutely and completely".
My name is Sarah and I have been meditating with the Sri Chinmoy
Centre in Christchurch for nearly 3 years, since I was 15 years old.
In three ways I have learnt to guard myself against problems. The
first is by virtue of my meditation, the second prayer, and finally
by utilising my common sense.
With meditation, peace can be invoked. When I am seated in the heart
of peace, I am kept safe from my inner enemies such as jealousy,
fear, insecurity and depression. So in this way I am able to keep
safe. I have recently observed that "like attracts like", so if I
can meditate and feel peace and happiness, then happy and positive
people will enter into my life.
With prayer, I cry for protection. Sri Chinmoy uses the analogy that
when the child cries, the mother will come. In the same way, this
can be likened to someone sincerely praying to God for protection
and God immediately coming to the aid of His child. In the outer
world every precaution can be taken to keep safe, but with so many
potential mishaps, nothing can remain certain. Nothing, except one
thing: a higher protection, which comes from the Supreme, or the
Supreme inside the spiritual Master.
Finally by utilising our common sense and intuition we can protect
our outer safety. For example, it would not be wise for a girl to be
out on the city streets alone at night thinking "well God will take
care of me". While this is true, potentially bad situations can
easily be avoided just by using common sense.
Sri Chinmoy has suggested his students pray for protection; meditate
daily; and because he also cares for our personal safety and well-
being, to be sensible and take necessary precautions in avoiding
dangerous situations. While this may appear to an onlooker as
repressive, the reasons are only for the benefit of ourselves, and
in the long run for our own liberation.
Sarah M.
------------------------------------------------------------
#3086
From: gemma_anderson_nz
Date: Sat Mar 20, 2004 8:25 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
It is true that many people have strange ideas about others joining
spiritual groups, but if the individual is experiencing happiness
and satisfaction, should they not be given the freedom to make their
own choices?
I started meditating when I was 14 years old, and received so much
support from my sisters and brothers in the New Zealand Sri Chinmoy
Centres. With their help, I have been to New York six times to spend
time with Sri Chinmoy and my other friends from all over the world -
how many other 20 year olds from New Zealand have been so fortunate?
They have encouraged and supported me constantly, and with the
loving guidance of Sri Chinmoy's teachings, I feel the blossoming of
my inner strength, willpower, courage and gratitude.
In the Sri Chinmoy Centre, I find a positive environment where I am
able to bring forward my own inner divinity, to express my true
self. While I was still in school, it was difficult with the peer
pressure not to follow the crowds and live up to others expectations
of me, but meditation gave me the strength to follow my heart and be
true to my own feelings. This in turn has helped me develop my own
self-worth and self-esteem and taught me much about myself.
I am enjoying the journey, and look forward to the complete
unfoldment of my true potential.
Yours sincerely,
Gemma
------------------------------------------------------------
#3087
From: sushmitam_r
Date: Sat Mar 20, 2004 8:39 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
---Thanks for bringing up this interesting issue!! And to all those
women who have replied, I must say that I share your experience of
the love, acceptance and freedom you have found on this path. I must
apologise in advance for my lengthy reply - this issue has sparked
lots of reflection for me! There was a time in my life when I would
have considered it a crime against womanhood to let International
Women's Day slip past almost unnoticed like it has this year! For
much of my early twenties I was involved in the grass roots feminist
movement - working in refuges for women who were victims of domestic
violence and other similar jobs, and in my spare time lobbying and
attending rallies on feminist and social issues. Injustice,
inequality and powerlessness of any sort incensed me, and women
clearly experienced these issues to a disproportionate degree.
Although I was interested in spirituality, social and political
action was my forte, and it would never have occurred to me that
there was a spiritual way of approaching such social problems.
How I have changed! My distaste of oppression and injustice is still
strong, but my response, inwardly and outwardly, is very different
these days. This change began initially as a result of seeking
assistance with my turbulent emotional life through therapy (a
process that I was also required to undertake as part of my
post-graduate psychotherapy training). My transformation has then
accelerated under Sri Chinmoy's guidance for the last 13 years.
There are so many ways that being a student of Sri Chinmoy has
shaped my life that I hardly know where to start! Perhaps with the
obvious! How could a staunch feminist have a male Guru?? Here we
come to the crux of my spiritual experience with Sri Chinmoy.
Because of his identification with God, meditating with him has
given me access to direct experiences of God. Impossible to
describe, and at the time profoundly shocking to my conscious mind,
these experiences have shown me that God and the individual soul are
way, way, way beyond outer duality like male and female. Struggles
between men and women, just like wars, poverty and other social
problems are by-products of our outer nature - those crazy layers of
thoughts, emotions & impulses that cover our beautiful soul. Being
catapulted by Guru into a realm of beauty and glory far removed from
these social problems has helped me to realise that as humanity
evolves, and collectively we become more conscious of our essential
divine nature, these problems will dissolve. So these days I prefer
to spend my energy on working to transform my own imperfections, and
helping others to do so by giving meditation classes and running a
meditation centre. I'm sure there is still a place for social action
within spiritual traditions (look at Vivekananda's work) but not for
me, right now.
Another impact of meditating under Sri Chinmoy's guidance has been
the transformation in my emotional life. Concerned about, but no
longer filled with constant rage about injustice, I can now see a
self-defeating aspect of much of the social and political action in
which I used to engage. Responding to aggression and injustice with
rage is just 'more of the same' - and so acts to continue the cycle
- like an escalating children's fight. Spiritual practice has shown
me that lasting change really must come from a change in
consciousness - I cannot facilitate outer peace or wise action
before I have these qualities within. Social and political action
generated from inner calm, equilibrium and love, works - Nelson
Mandela is a great example of this.
Interestingly, meditating with Sri Chinmoy has also brought out a
much more 'feminine' side of me! On reflection, I think that
previously I was constantly reacting to men rather than simply being
myself. With Guru I have actually been able to feel the reality of
women as 'equal but different', an experience previously theorised
about but somehow elusive in practice. As Sundari has said, Guru
encourages us all, whether male or female, to expand our capacities
and become much more than we ever thought we could be, whilst at the
same feeling at home with whatever gender we happen to be. In this
way, gender stereotypes are smashed to pieces! Who ever would
imagine that an angelic, sari wearing, sweetness-flooded woman like
Suprabha would run 3100 mile races year after year?
Now for the issue you raise of women who claim to have experienced
abuse. I've worked as a psychologist and psychotherapist for many
years now, so have quite a bit of experience in this area. I agree
wholeheartedly with your comment on the innocence and purity of
Guru's consciousness, which I think results in women feeling safe in
the centre and with Guru. I know there are some women on the path
who have had difficult or traumatic experiences with men when they
were living in the world, who have taken refuge in the safety
offered by the centre. It would be easy to conclude from this that
the centre functions for such women as a way of repressing these
experiences rather than working them through. This view of the
spiritual life is quite commonly held by secular people, and arises
from a fundamental lack of understanding about the inner work and
process of transformation involved in leading a spiritual life.
Whilst in the short term a person on our path can avoid dealing with
difficult personal issues, in the longer term the profoundly
transformative experience of meditating with Sri Chinmoy usually
means that we cannot stay with our repression for too long.
In my experience, any psychological issues that need to be dealt
with rear their heads once we are spiritually strong enough to deal
with them. They can then be worked through under Sri Chinmoy's
loving inner guidance. Usually when this happens there is a period
of struggle, which manifests outwardly, and we say to each other "Oh
she's just going through Stuff" (do the guys talk like this too?).
It is actually quite similar to the process involved in good
psychotherapy, but on a vastly different level. Mostly, the person
eventually works the issue through and is able to move on to the
next challenge. Just like in therapy and in life, some people get
stuck on a certain issue for a long time, and others leave the path
because it's just too hard to deal with it, or some part of them
actually likes the problem and doesn't want to resolve it. Guru
never forces us to resolve issues, he just provides us with the
inner assistance, and the safe and loving environment to enable us
to work them through.
(By the way, for anyone interested in reading about this process at
play in another spiritual path, read the book 'Unveiled - Nuns
Talking' by Mary Loudon - a superb first person account of the lives
of nuns in various Christian orders in the UK.)
Back to innocence and purity!! Yes it does seem to be that these
qualities are misperceived, misunderstood and attacked by the world.
Unfortunately this can sometimes arise from within a spiritual group
such as ours as well as from outside, particularly when someone is
struggling with issues in the way I described above. I remember an
experience I had when I was quite new on the path - a year or two
perhaps. I was overwhelmed by the love, the peace and the
experiences of God that I had gained on the path, but at the same
time was struggling with some of the lifestyle aspects of the path.
I realised at this time that my positive experiences far outweighed
my struggles and that I definitely did not want to leave the path.
However in dealing with this struggle, I came to the realisation
that if anything ever pulled me away from the path, the only way I
would be able to bear to leave, would be to destroy in my mind all
the positive experiences I had gained - otherwise the grief of
leaving would be completely overwhelming. Everything good would have
to be made bad, everything pure made impure, in order to justify to
myself such an action.
I have seen a number of people leave the centre over the years, and
in my experience, it is those, like myself who have had tremendously
positive experiences in their spiritual life, who resort to this
destructive measure - and often they publicise their opinions, as if
to further convince themselves they have left something 'bad' not
good. On the other hand, people who never got much out of the path
in the first place, just tend to drift away.
Lastly, I would like to say a word about the place of therapy in all
this! The issue of abuse and therapy is such a complex and
controversial one. It is well known in the psychological community
that some therapists encourage patients to 'dig' for abuse that was
never there, and that some patients completely unconsciously project
their own impulses and traumas onto others who they then believe
'abused' them. On the other hand, we all know that abuse is
widespread in our society. I am extremely fortunate and grateful
that, in my own therapy, which was ending as my life on the path
began, I had the assistance of a very understanding therapist who
challenged but always respected and valued my spiritual life and
affirmed the decisions I made in relation to it. Such therapists do
exist, but I suspect they are fairly rare!
Oh dear, I'm afraid I have been overly mental and analytical in
writing all this!! Perhaps I can summarise by saying joining Sri
Chinmoy's path has been the most fulfilling, freeing, life-affirming
decision I have ever made. Of course there have been struggles -
both within myself and with others, but I know that I have more than
enough help from Sri Chinmoy to deal with all these struggles.
Whilst I was never deprived of love before, my life is more filled
with love than ever before - a purified, unconditional love of the
sort I could only have dreamed of previously.
Endless gratitude to Guru for the blessings showered upon me on this
path!
------------------------------------------------------------
#3088
From: emma_d_nz
Date: Sat Mar 20, 2004 8:46 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
When we look at things from the outside, our vision may be blurred
by our own partial understanding. This is my experience. I came to
the Sri Chinmoy Centre six years after my sister. In that six years,
I had great respect for what Sri Chinmoy was doing and was pleased
that my sister was happy. Yet I was adamant that the Centre was not
for me. From my outside world, I decided it was a nice thing but
that it somehow escaped reality.
I continued through the majority of high school unhappy and
unfulfilled. Deciding it was New Zealand that was making me
depressed, I left the country at the age of seventeen. For the next
couple of years I worked my way around quite a few countries.
Unhappiness followed me. I tried out many different lifestyles,
sincerely giving happiness a chance in the ordinary world. There was
a constant voice inside telling me that I was fooling myself, and
spirituality would be the only answer to this maze. A giant
realisation dawned that I was the one who had been escaping reality.
To feel protected is not a crime. In this uncertain world, the Sri
Chinmoy Centre has provided me with a sense of belonging and
security that I never knew existed. It is a solid environment that
nourishes the soul with the encouragement and inspiration to grow.
Obviously problems in the secular world, such as abuse and
harassment, are apparent all over the globe. Some countries are much
worse than others. Each individual woman's case will differ. I
clearly see that the main abuse and harassment I was personally
issued with, came from myself in the form of insecurity. Deep-rooted
feelings of unworthiness are a frequent problem for women, and often
a cause for being in damaging relationships and situations. With the
guidance of a sincere spiritual teacher in conjunction with
meditation, prayer and a supportive environment, insecurity can be
liberated.
In the Sri Chinmoy Centre, I see a most significant and beautifully
painted dream, where a world of equality and happiness flow, as a
shining example to the world at large. Sri Chinmoy is the artist.
When you are inside this piece of art, or look at the picture with
your heart, questions of repression and safety fade away.
I have known. I have known that
few are those who want to be free from
the snare of ignorance. Fewer are
those who are willing to pay
the price, although they want to be free
~Sri Chinmoy
With gratitude, Emma
------------------------------------------------------------
#3092
From: arpan_deangelo
Date: Sun Mar 21, 2004 12:20 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
In response to original message number 3032 on March 19, 'Question
for the Women', and the replies that followed, I have to first
relate to the men who responded--Nayak and Salil--who pledged to
remain silent and wait to see the responses by the women.
After reading them all, I have to say in all sincerity I was
speechless, in a good way. Everyone in their own unique and sincere
way has expressed some very important aspect of being a woman in the
Centre that others can learn from both within the Centre and those
outside who are trying to understand, female as well as male.
When my sister or mother or some other women may ask me a question
about this area of concern to them, I will refer them to the
firsthand experience of these eloquent and sincere spiritual sisters
of mine. I do not want to get into specific examples of all the
illumining comments offered by the women who have responded so far.
I just wish to thank them briefly for their courage and concern in
taking time to express themselves on what could be at times a touchy
and somewhat personal subject.
Being of the male gender on the path, but growing up with a sister
and having studied Child Development in college where 95% of my
classmates were women, I must say that I highly respect these
personal comments and replies from my spiritual sisters. They are
very lucid and helpful to those of us who feel that this is an
important subject to address. Certain issues about being single on
the path and not being attached to a romantic relationship for
identity or security can also be applied to the men as well.
I do not know if there is an International Men's Day as there was a
Women's Day earlier in March. But nevertheless, I am sure there are
some men who wish to express their feelings of independence and
spiritual growth which can result from the inner guidance offered on
Sri Chinmoy's path as a single person or ideally in a spiritual
relationship with the opposite gender.
I would recommend those who find this an interesting and important
subject to read the replies offered by the women. I thought that it
would not be of interest to me until I started reading them out of
curiosity, but they have all added something quite important to our
understanding of spiritual women, especially on this uniquely
beautiful path of Sri Chinmoy's.
Sri Chinmoy himself expressed it quite nicely in the poem called "I
Think Love You", that was included in the original message:
> God, I think I love You.
> "Daughter, what is the proof?"
>
> God, this is the proof:
> You know, God,
> I do not live with ignorance
> Anymore;
> I do not play with doubt
> Anymore;
> I do not cry with fear
> Anymore;
> I do not eat with jealousy
> Anymore;
> I do not dance with despair
> Anymore.
>
> "Daughter, enough.
> You love Me
> And
> I love you.
> Be happy. Remain happy."
>
> -Sri Chinmoy
It would be great if we all could only feel this way all the time,
male or female.
Gratefully,
Your brother,
Arpan
------------------------------------------------------------
#3093
From: mayuri827
Date: Sun Mar 21, 2004 1:32 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
What a great question, and what eloquent responses! Part of me wants
to say, "What more can I add?" but I do want to express my opinion
as a woman who has been practicing meditation under the guidance of
Sri Chinmoy for the past 15+ years.
I think your question brings up two separate, but linked issues:
safety, and freedom/empowerment.
Usually when women think of safety, we think of it in physical
terms: I should not walk down this dark alleyway, I should not yell
back at this man because he might hit me, etc. I think Sarah said it
very concisely when she observed that we should try to focus on the
positive, because like attracts like, but not to the detriment of
common sense. Ideally (and ultimately) we will reach the stage where
our consciousness is so evolved that we will protect ourselves
simply by virtue of our state of being. Personally, I know that I am
still *very* far away from living in that state of consciousness, so
in the meantime, I will continue to utilize my common sense, pray
for protection, and do my best to avoid dark alleyways and abusive
relationships.
Emotional safety is a much more complicated issue. When you ask if
the Sri Chinmoy Centre is a "safe" place for women, I believe this
is what you mean. After all, if your main concern is physical
safety, you need not enter a life of spiritual discipline to achieve
it--you can simply put a deadbolt on your door! Sri Chinmoy himself
has said (I paraphrase here) that if your motivation for entering
the spiritual life is one of avoiding outer unpleasantness, it will
not serve you well in terms of making spiritual progress. You need
to have aspiration, the inner yearning that urges you to seek the
Supreme, however you conceptualize Him/Her/It. If a woman was once
physically and/or emotionally abused, or fears this happening, she
may attach herself to a community like ours which gives her a
feeling of safety. In my opinion, there would be nothing wrong with
this, but her sense of support would not last long if the group's
main focus was elsewhere. The Sri Chinmoy Centre does provide a
strong sense of community for those who choose to avail themselves
of everything it has to offer in an outer sense (and this
participation varies widely from member to member), but the real
motivator for those who remain on the path over the long term is the
spiritual relationship each person develops with Sri Chinmoy and the
guidance (s)he receives from him. It is primarily an inner
experience. The outer community is very important, but it is like
the sauce poured over your food--it tastes good, but will not
sustain you for long if it is all you eat.
Then there is the issue of freedom and personal empowerment. In this
respect, I can only say that I feel more empowered as Sri Chinmoy's
student than I ever dreamed possible! I agree with everything that
everyone else has said regarding this. I have never felt stigmatized
for being a woman within the Centre--on the contrary, I have
received tremendous emotional support as a person (not as "a girl"
or "a woman"), during both happy and difficult periods of my life.
And the very, very few times (I suppose I am lucky) that I have felt
negatively judged by people who were *not* members of the Centre for
trying to lead a spiritual life, it has had nothing to do with my
gender.
As a student of Sri Chinmoy, I certainly do not live a sheltered
existence! In fact, one of the things that specifically attracted me
to his path was his philosophy of involvement in the world. (I would
make a very bad world-renouncer--there is too much in it that I
love.) One of my own personal beliefs, which has been strongly
reinforced by Sri Chinmoy, is that you cannot run away from the
world--you must actively work to transform it, beginning with
yourself. All real, lasting change comes from the inside out.
Sri Chinmoy has pushed me out of my own comfort zone many, many
times--and the result has *always* been a positive one, helping to
me to transcend my own limitations. Someone might interpret this as
lack of protection, I suppose, but if the bird is never pushed from
its nest, how will it learn to fly? I have never felt unsupported or
unguided at these times--just nervous, as we all are, when moving in
new and uncertain directions, trying to expand our own capacities.
Sri Chinmoy has said (I am paraphrasing again) that the Supreme will
never give you a problem that He has not already granted you the
capacity to handle. On Sri Chinmoy's path I have achieved many
things that I never would have otherwise, and learned a great deal
about myself in the process.
I have never felt so protected AND so empowered.
In oneness,
Mayuri
------------------------------------------------------------
#3094
From: nz_harita
Date: Sun Mar 21, 2004 3:44 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Before I joined the Sri Chinmoy Centre I was a self-proclaimed
feminist, and proud of it. I took some feminist studies courses at
University and read many books and articles by feminists. I felt the
cause was significant and justified, and admired women who stood up
for their beliefs.
The problem was that the more I dived into the world of feminism,
the more agitated and angry I became. My struggle for an ideal of
freedom and liberation through feminist values was leaving me
feeling more and more ostracised and frustrated by the world around
me. Discrimination was everywhere!
I am not down-casting feminism as such, but only my personal
experience of being a feminist. I believe that my past experiences,
founded on trying to become a "free woman", were based within the
confines of mental perceptions and judgement. My personal values
were not from my own heart, but were founded to a great extent on
the beliefs of other people. In the struggle for equality in a
male-dominated society, it became undeniably apparent that if there
was light at the end of this tunnel, it was a very long tunnel.
I am so grateful that I found the Sri Chinmoy Centre. From a
feminist perspective, the reality of having a male spiritual teacher
was quite testing at first, however I felt a whole new reality dawn
in my life. Some of my friends tried to dissuade me, but the
spiritual values of inspiration, love and true inner freedom were
undeniably light years ahead of what I was receiving from my
feminist ideology.
Meditation and Sri Chinmoy's path has radically changed my
perception of the world around me, enabling me to connect with my
own deeper wisdom and spiritual feelings, rather than adopting a
fixed belief system. I am no longer disturbed if I am treated in a
discriminating way in the outer world, because I feel my own value
so powerfully within myself and recognise that I am responsible only
for my own behaviour and not that of others. I have a far greater
love and understanding of the world, and see the inherent good in
all people because I am able to see beyond the surface.
I give all credit for my inner development to Sri Chinmoy. If I have
learned anything about the true value of being a woman, I have to
say that it is Sri Chinmoy who has given me this awareness. I
wholeheartedly agree with the woman who said that "leading a
spiritual life has empowered her." In no way do I feel repressed -
on the contrary, I have learned the true meaning of inner freedom
and strength. I think that a large part of the world is afraid of
spirituality, so they try to discount its value rather than try to
gain any deeper understanding of it.
Qualities like purity, innocence, sweetness and humility are given
little value in our society, and yet when we see them how beautiful
they are, how powerful they are! When we feel them within ourselves
how strong we feel, how happy we feel!
Sri Chinmoy has also taught me to be proud of my feminine qualities,
and to have respect for masculine qualities. The Supreme created man
and woman. We each have a significant role to perform here on earth,
in different ways. In the past men were perhaps given more
opportunity to develop spiritually, but now we each have equal
opportunity. I never even think about comparing males and females
anymore, our qualities are so different! Sri Chinmoy in particular
has no gender-based discrimination. He shows all his students
spiritual love, and encourages us to become one with our own souls,
the God-representative within us all. I remember hearing him say
once: "Every soul is so precious".
Is the Sri Chinmoy Centre a safe place for women? How could it
possibly be unsafe? In every way we are all - regardless of whether
we are male or female - nurtured and protected. Sri Chinmoy's
concern for our inner and outer safety is unprecedented and
sleepless.
Yes, I do feel protected in the Sri Chinmoy Centre, and for this my
gratitude is boundless. I feel a sense of protection in having Sri
Chinmoy as an unconditionally loving and caring teacher and friend,
to live in such a beautiful world with dozens of wonderful,
accepting friends, and to have the knowledge of living consciously,
in union with the Universal laws of righteousness, harmony and
oneness.
With deepest gratitude,
Harita
------------------------------------------------------------
#3096
From: sipra74
Date: Sun Mar 21, 2004 4:13 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Thank you for this inspiring and thought-provoking posting for
spiritual women.
I signed up to this group last year. However, until now I have not
posted. I joined the Sri Chinmoy Centre 30 years ago when I was 31.
I came to the spiritual life after having many life experiences.
Although opportunities had been placed before me to marry and have a
family - always I found myself avoiding this step in life. When I
joined Sri Chinmoy's path, he told me it was not necessary for me to
marry. When I heard this, I experienced a tremendous sense of relief
and felt liberated from the social pressures that are put upon women
to have a partner and children.
However, although I believed I had 'done it all' when I joined Sri
Chinmoy, he was able to show me that I had not even scratched the
surface of my potential. Through his gentle encouragement and
invitation to transcend our previous achievements, I was able to
experience so many things by bringing forward my inner spiritual
strength.
A few years after I joined the spiritual life, Sri Chinmoy announced
that he would like 100 of his students to run the New York City
Marathon. I was in Australia when I heard this, and immediately an
inner thrill let me know I had to be one of these Sri Chinmoy
participants. That year, which I believe was 1978, only 10% of the
entrants in the marathon were women. However, the Sri Chinmoy
contingent was composed of 50% women. This gave me a tremendous
feeling of pride that I belonged to an organization which encouraged
women in this way.
I noticed also that Sri Chinmoy encouraged his female students to
attempt inspiring activities that normally they would not do if they
had not joined the spiritual life. Often, women in the outer world
become so involved with family, children or career. They use this as
an excuse not to develop their own spiritual potential. I believe
the spiritual life can protect you from the illusion that you do not
have the capacity to achieve your own destiny both inwardly and
outwardly.
I work in the outer world, and come into contact with many women who
do not live fulfilled lives. They so often are on a roller-coaster
of emotional turmoil and insecurity. I am so grateful to have found
Sri Chinmoy half of my lifetime ago. He has allowed me to continue
to develop both my inner and outer life. Even when I make countless
mistakes and seriously neglect certain aspects of my life, he
remains patient and encouraging, never giving up on me, or for that
matter, on any of his female or male students.
On March 8th this year, the Sri Chinmoy Adelaide Centre opened a
cafe! So that is how we celebrated International Women's Day.
However, we were so busy we did not really notice. We have four of
Sri Chinmoy's Australian female students working there, and I
usually pop in early in the morning and again after I finish my
outer job. Please come and visit us next time you are in Adelaide!
Sri Chinmoy is a perfect role model for his students. He constantly
finds new projects and new ways to transcend. Constant newness in
his art, poetry and music flow from him. We remain happy when we
enter into this flow of newness. I would like to conclude this
posting with some of Sri Chinmoy's prayers from the recent Christmas
trip.
"God's will is not my master.
God's will is my eternity's partner."
"Life is an endless God-discovery adventure."
"I make no mistake when I tell the world that I am all God's.
I make no mistake when I tell the world that God is all mine."
"May my aspiration heart river run singing towards the ocean
unknowable."
Sipra
------------------------------------------------------------
#3100
From: dharmaja
Date: Sun Mar 21, 2004 10:02 am
Subject: A Book on Women's Spirituality, authored by YOU
I have read all of the posts on the "Question for the Women."
I suggest that the women of the Sri Chinmoy Centre throughout the
world should coordinate the publishing of a book on Women's
Spirituality.
The items that have been posted so far on this subject, plus
contributions from other women in the Centres, could be part of this
book. The book should be published in several languages.
Do not keep everything to yourselves! Let the whole world benefit.
With much thankfulness for your insights,
Dharmaja
Sacramento, California
------------------------------------------------------------
#3104
From: Suchatula
Date: Sun Mar 21, 2004 10:52 am
Subject: Re: Question for the Women from Suchatula
Thank you for your question. I do not consider myself a "writer",
but I was inspired to answer your question. I have been on Sri
Chinmoy's spiritual path for over 17 years now. That is nearly half
my life. I joined when I was 18 years old in December of 1986. I was
in my first year of college and did not really have a plan for my
life just yet. When I started reading Sri Chinmoy's books I was so
moved. I felt, "This person is a real holy and very spiritual
person." His philosophy struck me in an all-new way, and yet I felt
very familiar with it. This was something that I believed in, yet
was never taught, that the world is one and we are all God's
children, all at different stages in our spiritual evolution. The
question of safety never crossed my mind. In my heart I feel the
teachings of Sri Chinmoy are the truth. Over the last 17 years I
feel I have really grown up with Sri Chinmoy as my father and at
times as my dearest friend. One poem that has always struck me is:
In the universal heart, all hearts are one,
inseparable, I know.
Yet knowing this, I hurt the hearts of others
day and night.
We are all the slaves of fate;
I dances on our foreheads.
In peace sublime is the extinction-sleep of fate.
I know this secret.
O Jewel of my eye, pour into my heart
Your golden Silence.
I feel on Sri Chinmoy's Path, all his spiritual children, my
spiritual sisters and brothers, are trying to live in the universal
heart. There the question of safety is put to rest. I remember a few
years back my mother telling me that of all her children, I am the
only one she never has to worry about.
Gratitude to the questioner and all those who have inspired me to
reply with all their inspiring replies.
In oneness, Suchatula
------------------------------------------------------------
#3105
From: ahelee_sf
Date: Sun Mar 21, 2004 11:27 am
Subject: Question For The Women
I have been a student of Sri Chinmoy for 5 years.
I was 40 years old when I came to the Centre. I do not think I had
"problems" in the world that would lead me to a spiritual path. I
had lots of friends, great family, successful career and a thriving
competitive athletic lifestyle. People and challenges never scared
me. I like to think I even had a very tiny bit of spirituality mixed
in there too. Of course there were challenges with relationships and
responsibilities, but life was really pretty good...
I was given Sri Chinmoy's book, Beyond Within. Reading it took my
breath away. I had to put it down and breathe every few pages due to
the intensity that I felt. It was a philosophy that seemed buried
deep inside me that I had no idea existed. It was bubbling up and
every word rang true. Instead of feeling spiritual by attending
occasional weekly and holiday church services, God and serving His
Mission were suddenly very real and standing right in front of me.
There seemed to be a role for me.
My reason for coming to Sri Chinmoy's path and for staying is very
simple. Sri Chinmoy reminds me that God is in my life at every
moment and He has something for me to do here.
Deep down inside, we all know that God is with us at every moment.
There is no reason for fear. But Sri Chinmoy gives us ways to deal
with these "fears" if they do arise. I feel I have the choice to
conquer the fears that fall in my way.
I do not worry that people do not understand my choice of a
spiritual life. I do not have to convince them I am ok. I know one
day they will understand.
I have never felt that men do not like or appreciate me. I just do
what "someone" needs to get done, if it is something that I can do.
I was raised with 2 brothers. I have always been proud of their
strengths and good qualities, even though they did often drive me
crazy! Now I have thousands of brothers to be proud of and brag
about... and well yes, drive me crazy! But they also look out for me
like my 2 brothers always have.
I traveled quite alot in my life before the path. Met lots of new
people very easily and accomplished some very challenging projects.
But Sri Chinmoy always has a way of giving me something new and even
more challenging in my life! Sometimes, I have reacted with a
"WHAT??!!" But now, every time I get past those first seconds and
just focus, I end up with the smile of my very soul, shining right
through. Because it is the right thing and my small role in God's
Work.
All gratitude for finding my way to Sri Chinmoy and all of you.
_
Ahelee
San Francisco
------------------------------------------------------------
#3110
From: phoolanjaya
Date: Sun Mar 21, 2004 2:28 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
I would like to share my experience of being a student of Sri
Chinmoy over the last nine years, in response to your
thought-provoking questions on women in the Sri Chinmoy Centre.
I have found my practise of meditation as a student of Sri Chinmoy
has been very empowering and liberating in many ways. As my
meditation practise has deepened over the months and years, I have
noticed that my sense of identification with who I was and what I
was changed dramatically, as my spirituality became something very
strong, central and guiding in my life.
I remember before I started meditating, as a teenager I felt
disheartened and disgusted with the way women were displayed in the
movies, advertising and media that surrounds us in the outer world.
With that, of course, came a difficult pressure to conform to an
ever changing fashion where physical beauty was and still is the
rule of acceptance.
I knew in my heart though, that the deeper more fulfilling
experiences of life could not come from the details of what we look
like, what job we do, or achieving name and fame in the outer life.
What I have loved so much about the Sri Chinmoy Centre is it is an
environment where you are respected as a spiritual person,
regardless of your gender and personal details, and is a place where
you can really be yourself, your true self. As your meditation
develops, you experience and identify more and more with the real
part of yourself, your soul, and with that comes tremendous inner
strength, confidence and an ever growing happiness, inner beauty and
fulfilment that does not depend on your outer circumstances, as it
all comes from within.
What I love about the spiritual life is that it really puts you back
in touch with what is pure and natural within you. Sri Chinmoy as a
teacher has helped me so much to feel this within myself. It is a
feeling of being set free from the many painful things we learn in
the outer world that bind us, limit us, and prevent us from
achieving our highest potential.
I would like to conclude with some inspiring quotes from Sri
Chinmoy's book 'Beyond Within':
"The spiritual life is never an escape from reality. On the
contrary, the spiritual life is the conscious and spontaneous
acceptance of reality in its totality."
"The beauty of the soul is beauty unparalleled in the physical
world. This beauty inspires the outer world and fulfils the inner
world. This beauty makes us one with God's Soul, the Light infinite."
Phoolanjaya
New Zealand
------------------------------------------------------------
#3112
From: sunamitalim
Date: Sun Mar 21, 2004 2:36 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
How beautiful to be swept up by the soul-stirring stories of my
sisters! Your heartfelt responses are immortal, enlightening, and
indelibly inspiring--and forever so.
Your superlative contributions are reflected in Sri Chinmoy's
accolade:
Be it in art or literature,
Be it in scholarship or teaching,
Be it in administration and commerce,
Be it in service to society,
Be it in wifehood and motherhood,
Be it in philosophical quest or religious aspiration,
Be it even in spiritual realization--
woman is intended by the Supreme to bring the Divine Perfection to
earth. Every sphere and aspect of earth, its grossest needs as well
as its subtlest nuances, must feel the touch of woman's radiant
emanation.
Significantly, Guru also honors the unity and oneness of both
genders in this short essay: "Man and woman are at their best when
they give to each other not only what they have but what they are".
http://www.srichinmoylibrary.com/eternity-breath/37
In Oneness-Sweetness,
Sunamita
------------------------------------------------------------
#3124
From: Kapila
Date: Sun Mar 21, 2004 10:41 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
After spending 16 years of my life as a student of Sri Chinmoy, I
can sincerely say that not only is the Sri Chinmoy Centre a safe
place for a woman, but also one that allows a woman to be true to
herself.
Since I was about 13 or 14 years old, I could clearly see how so
often the women I grew up around would compromise their beliefs to
keep peace in the family. They suppressed their dreams and their
opinions to live up to family and cultural expectations.
Over the years, I watched their light and life-energy slowly fade
away and their lives become nothing more than a mechanical routine.
I remember feeling even at a young age that no matter what, I had to
be true to myself. It was not enough for me to follow someone's
limited perception of truth without question.
It was this inner cry that catapulted me onto Sri Chinmoy's path at
the age of 22.
Sri Chinmoy always encourages us, his students, to dive deep within
through the practice of meditation, to discover our own truth and
our mission in life. He gives us a commonsense set of guidelines to
live by, and encourages us to test these guidelines in our own
lives.
To me Sri Chinmoy is an expert in the game of life. His philosophy
resonates perfectly with my own. This guidance is constantly leading
me back to my true self, and more and more I am finding that I am
dropping the masks created through my external conditioning and
settling very comfortably with myself.
This feeling is truly satisfying and liberating. One that makes me
proud to be a woman.
Sincerely,
Kapila
Brisbane, Australia
------------------------------------------------------------
#3125
From: natabara7
Date: Sun Mar 21, 2004 9:45 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
I was particularly taken by Sushmitam's lucid and revealing
comments on the topic of women in the Sri Chinmoy Centre. She
posed a question pasted below (her entire message is further
down):
"...we say to each other "Oh she's just going through Stuff" (do
the guys talk like this too?)."
If any of the guys want to refute or add to my observation, please
feel free to sound in.
In my opinion, the answer is a resounding yes. Everyone has
"stuff" to go through, and that definitely includes the guys.
Anyone who has spent even a little sincere time meditating,
whether on a path or on their own, can attest to the fact that
meditation brings about clarity -- a clear and sometimes striking
awareness about one's own inner issues and "junk".
We're all human, and we all have good and bad qualities inside us
that we carry wherever we go in life, and meditation helpfully
turns on the light to show us our glowing qualities as well as
what we have to work with and clean up -- both of which we can
either embrace or run away from.
It's both a blessing and a curse, depending upon which way you
want to look at it.
It's my observation that a spiritual master is integral in helping
us deal with this junk, and serves as a powerhouse of constant
encouragement to help us "clean our own room". However, at times
the compassion of the master calls on a higher power to help clean
our room for us. I feel this is Grace, and I have seen a lot of it
flowing in both my life and the lives of my friends and family on
Sri Chinmoy's path -- both women and men alike.
>From my humble perspective, Sri Chinmoy has created a very healthy
and encouraging environment for both men and women to seek their
true spiritual and human potential in a very accelerated way.
Regardless of gender, I have personally seen countless precious
moments where Sri Chinmoy has helped and encouraged, laughed and
cried with his students, whom he treats as cherished members of
his own family. I believe anyone who has had the opportunity to
experience this compassion and concern can attest to such
inspiring warmth and affection.
-Natabara
------------------------------------------------------------
#3130
From: sushmitam_r
Date: Sun Mar 21, 2004 10:53 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
--Hi everyone! Just a quick note to say I am absolutely loving
reading everyone's responses to this question!!! Keep them coming! I
find I'm rushing to my computer before I head off to work, and again
after work, just to see who has replied and what they are saying! It
is so inspiring to hear how each of us experiences the benefits of
the spiritual life. I rather like the idea of a book written by us!
in oneness, Sushmitam
------------------------------------------------------------
#3146
From: Kakali
Date: Mon Mar 22, 2004 8:22 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
As a female student of Sri Chinmoy, who lives in what is considered
the 'local area', I'd like to briefly respond to the question you
asked in this message: "Is the Sri Chinmoy Centre a safe place for
women?" My personal experience (after 25 years), is a resounding
YES!!! My Guru, Sri Chinmoy, right from the very beginning of my
spiritual life on his path, has been constantly, with utmost love
and compassion, giving me opportunity after opportunity to discover
and uncover the highest and best within myself, which I consider to
be God.
To undertake the quest for God, I feel one must be open and ready
for any and all experiences and challenges which are deemed
necessary by a spiritual Master of Sri Chinmoy's caliber. I have
always been out in the world my whole life, and I really never cared
about or was affected by what others thought about my personal
spiritual quest. For me, my decision to 'stick close to the Sri
Chinmoy Centre' is not out of any need to feel protected, although I
have to say that as Sri Chinmoy's student I have always felt totally
protected and utterly safe. Rather, I only know and care about the
fact that my Guru, in an unbelievably loving, compassionate and
patient way, has ONLY and ALWAYS been a direct conduit of the
Supreme for me, worthy of my absolute and total trust, love and
respect.
In the deepest part of my being, I know that the spirituality of Sri
Chinmoy's path is truly authentic, and that anyone, male or female,
who is truly seeking the Absolute Supreme in their lives, can safely
feel that he/she will be lovingly guided according to their
individual bent and needs. In millions of ways throughout the years,
I have seen and felt Sri Chinmoy's authenticity ring true.
I am truly grateful for this opportunity to express these feelings,
and doing so has re-inspired me and reminded me of just how
supremely fortunate I have been. I hope that I can remain so for the
rest of my life.
My love to all of you,
Kakali Atkin
------------------------------------------------------------
#3152
From: nanditajp
Date: Mon Mar 22, 2004 10:58 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Safe - free from harm, injury or risk. "Safe" comes from the Latin
word "salvus" meaning whole or healthy.
Sri Chinmoy's Path encompasses all of these meanings for women or
men. It is an environment free of harm, harassment or risk. It is a
whole and healthy environment.
I became a student of Sri Chinmoy over 30 years ago. Having had
positive experiences with other spiritual paths (Catholicism,
Judaism, Transcendental Meditation and Theravada Buddhism), my first
reaction was that Sri Chinmoy did not "need" anything from me. He
did not need me to add to his numbers of followers. He did not need
my admiration or my flattery. He did not need my money. This
impression has remained and has been reinforced in a million ways.
Here was not an ego that required feeding in any way. I felt trust
and faith--and to add the word used in your query: "safe". I have
never seen that trust, faith and safety compromised in any way by
this pure, innocent and loving consciousness that I gratefully call
my spiritual teacher. Nor have I ever seen it broken with others.
The Sri Chinmoy Centre has been a uniquely safe place for me as a
woman, for my husband and for my children.
I have seen others break faith with their own spirituality. I have
seen others veer in other directions. I have seen others drift away.
I have seen others "take a break" for a while and return. I have
seen others find something that worked better for them. But, I have
never seen Sri Chinmoy break trust with anyone whether they were his
student or not. There is real spirituality in this world, and Sri
Chinmoy is one of its representatives. Yes, people throw the "ink of
their mind" on it, but that does not diminish it in any way.
As for the many ways that Sri Chinmoy has encouraged and "empowered"
women, my sisters have replied much more eloquently. I am grateful
for your query.
Nandita
------------------------------------------------------------
#3163
srichinmoyinspiration
Date: Mon Mar 22, 2004 2:52 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
I'd like to strongly echo Sushmitam's comments. I too am absolutely
riveted by this discussion. Thanks to all the women who are making
such amazing contributions. I would like to give you all virtual
flowers for your courage!
If there are new members who would like to share their thoughts, but
are feeling a little shy, please feel welcome to contribute. Each
soul is different, and each person's experience is different. There
is always room for you to add your own unique voice.
Sometimes I think we just assume there is understanding out there in
the world that Sri Chinmoy Centre is a place where people lead a
life rooted in prayer, meditation and service, and that it's a safe
place to be--a place where people have consciously chosen to be. But
if you're a member of a spiritual minority, sometimes you may be
defined in ways that aren't all that accurate. There are media
stereotypes that people are "brainwashed" and made to do wrong
things, etc. ...
This is an opportunity not just for creative sharing, but for
setting the record straight. We don't discuss these topics every
day, but since we have begun, I agree with Sushmitam to keep the
responses coming!
I asked the original question, but if any of the women would like to
expand or refocus the discussion, I'm sure that would be most
welcome.
Since the posts are scattered among many other topics, in an
upcoming message I will post a digest of the discussion so far. I
hope this will help people gather their thoughts.
Assistant Moderator
------------------------------------------------------------
#3164
From: katec_nz
Date: Mon Mar 22, 2004 3:20 pm
Subject: RE: question for women
The spiritual life is not an escape from reality, but is rather the
embrace of life, in all it's beauty and wonder as well as it's
anguish and struggle. When you enter into the spiritual life, there
is no man, no woman. The highest reality--that is, the soul--is the
only thing that exists, it is all that matters.
As humanity evolves, it is transcending old values, barriers and
prejudices. I feel that the Sri Chinmoy Centre is leading the way in
this spiritual revolution. Whereas once women were standing up for
their basic human rights, they are now given the opportunity in the
life arena to fight not against their brothers, but against the true
enemy: human ignorance.
Sri Chinmoy has empowered and honoured me by offering me not only
the opportunity to fight in the battle against ignorance, but also
the tools needed to conquer the undivine forces which are constantly
assailing humankind. He has also given me the assurance that he will
always be there for me, to guide me and protect me and ultimately
lead me to victory.
I feel much safer now than I did when I lived in the secular world.
I understood nothing--I was constantly searching, and at the mercy
of my own insecure and fickle mind. Looking for meaning in the outer
world was like looking for a needle in a haystack. Immediately when
I joined Sri Chinmoy Centre, I felt safe, embraced, loved and
nurtured. I felt I had found my real home.
Gratefully,
Kate
------------------------------------------------------------
#3172
From: vasudha_sd
Date: Mon Mar 22, 2004 7:38 pm
Subject: Re: Question for Women
Here is my response to the question posed by the moderator, "Is the
Sri Chinmoy Centre a safe place for women?" The answer is yes! Yes
for all the reasons that my spiritual sisters have already outlined
in the previous postings, and yes for a multitude of other reasons.
Following are a few of my thoughts on the subject. (I planned on
writing a brief reply, but as you can see I was not able to do it!)
Sri Chinmoy has pioneered a path in which women can be dynamic,
active, intelligent and powerful while at the same time maintaining
a very deep and pure spiritual life. For millennia, spiritual women
have been disallowed from playing a strong role in the outer world.
Now, however, we are encouraged to bring forward the full force of
our capacities so that they can be utilized for the manifestation of
the Supreme.
Most women today define and fulfill themselves either through their
family life (husband and children) or through their careers. I do
not think that there is anything wrong (or second-rate) with either
of these roles, but I am just so grateful that there is now a third
choice. Some women simply don't want these things, and as students
of Sri Chinmoy we are able to contribute to humanity in many
meaningful ways without having to conform to mainstream roles that
feel constricting.
The Centre protects us from the superficiality and materialism that
pervades modern life in the Western world. This is not to say that
we are entirely immune to the attraction of materialism, but because
of Sri Chinmoy's presence and unparalleled manifestation, it becomes
very easy for us to choose a higher experience--one that cannot be
offered by any material achievement or mundane experience. In the
absence of this alternative, many women in the secular world make
poor choices, and as a result suffer continual unhappiness.
The strict guidelines Sri Chinmoy has put in place regarding
interaction between the men and the women of the Centre add to my
feeling of safety. The socialization that takes place in most other
groups with a high concentration of single men and women leads to
the inevitable result: They view each other as potential romantic
partners. But because Sri Chinmoy has drawn the line very clearly,
and because we have all experienced the true spiritual benefits of
this way of life, the women can have a multitude of "brothers" and
can feel safe from any unwanted advances.
The surest sense of safety that we feel is the very real experience
of a higher consciousness and a deeper understanding of what it is
to be fully alive. The highest beauty offered by the human
experience is that of feeling God, serving God, pleasing God, and,
little by little, realizing God. By living in this communion every
day (some days more than others), we experience an impenetrable
security--one that transcends mundane experience. We are constantly
reminded by the inner voice that no matter what happens in the outer
world, we are safe and secure in the heart of our Master.
One thing that may surprise the men who are following the postings
on this topic is that many women disciples, myself included, really
love wearing a sari. It is a beautiful, modest, spiritual garment
that reminds the woman wearing it that she is first and foremost a
spiritual seeker. When I put on a sari, I instantly become more
conscious of my inner life and more inspired to aspire and serve.
OK, that's enough from me (at least for now)!
In Oneness,
Vasudha
------------------------------------------------------------
#3173
From: mrinali_clarke
Date: Mon Mar 22, 2004 7:46 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
I have been a student of Sri Chinmoy for almost 18 years and would
like to reply to the question "Is the Sri Chinmoy Centre a safe
place for women?"
You have posed an interesting question and it can be answered both
yes, and no, depending on what you mean by 'safe'. If you are
talking about the old notion that women need protection yes, it is
a safe and protected community where young girls and women can learn
and safely practice the spiritual life. At the Sri Chinmoy Centre,
women can be nurtured spiritually and encouraged to live a life of
simplicity and purity without being affected by the world's often
confusing and degrading depiction of the female image. However, if
you expect that by becoming a member, a woman will remain insecure,
vulnerable and unchanged then, surprisingly no, it is not that kind
of environment 'escape' for women, nor for men. Therein lies the
conundrum: they will grow in strength, enormously.
The Sri Chinmoy Centres of the world are opening a new path for
humanity. They are teaching generations of young women to live for
their own spiritual fulfillment and actualization, unhindered by the
filtering system of age-old texts of religious dogmas, or their
ministries, who have often been known to give women a subordinate
role, or no role at all. Large numbers of girls and mature women
have independently and voluntarily decided to pursue Sri Chinmoy's
spiritual path of meditation, enlightenment and God-Realisation, in
a way that previous generations could only dream of, or arguably did
not allow in the West, nor the East.
For myself, being brought up in the 1960's, I expected to search for
truth and happiness and to live a fulfilling life, in spite of a
very troubling family background. Yet there always was something
missing in my life, a vacuum, a lack of inner satisfaction no matter
what I achieved. Society has taught us to fill this up as quickly as
possible with outer things, but I now recognize it in other people
too: it is spiritual hunger. Being a student of Sri Chinmoy has made
sense of my world, filled in the gaps and questions left by religion
and philosophy, provided spirituality not as a belief system, but as
an experience, and given deeper meaning to my life.
My chosen discipline has brought strength to my good qualities, and
diminished my faults, given me direction, and helped me to raise
another human being in a most rewarding and positive way. Given a
free choice from an early age, my son has always chosen to follow
the path of Sri Chinmoy. I feel that Sri Chinmoy's vast writings are
a gold mine waiting to be discovered by a spiritually starved world.
He has taught me that the world is in turmoil merely because of
forgetfulness of who we really are, and that to heal the world we
have to increase our love and respect for the divinity inside each
other.
There are many societies in the world that have troubling or tragic
relationships between men and women, not just in the West. Many
international cultural practices, crimes against women, as well as
media and billboard images of women that we are presented with, are
just as confusing, demeaning and dehumanising for men as for women.
They provide another barrier to finding the sacred heart in
ourselves, and each other.
In searching for new ways to be in the world, both women and men
have made many mistakes. But Sri Chinmoy's new path has taught me
how to develop a personal relationship with the soul. This changes
your view, it gives you a confidence in the spiritual basis of life,
and gives so much hope for the future. I feel that it is only
through the practice of meditation that we can begin to value each
other in the way Sri Chinmoy sees us, as entities of the divine. I
am eternally grateful to Sri Chinmoy for the privilege of being one
of his students.
God tells us repeatedly
That each individual
Is a representative
Of God Himself. ~ Sri Chinmoy
Today's hope will be
Tomorrow's realities.
Tomorrow's realities
Will surprise humankind. ~ Sri Chinmoy
Mrinali Clarke
------------------------------------------------------------
#3177
From: salil_wilson
Date: Mon Mar 22, 2004 9:53 pm
Subject: Vasudha and wearing saris
Vasudha's comments
> "One thing that may surprise the men who are following the
> postings on this topic is that many women disciples, myself
> included, really love wearing a sari."
Why would that surprise the men or this man at least? You wear them
so much I would hope you would enjoy it.:)
Salil
------------------------------------------------------------
#3180
From: Prema
Date: Mon Mar 22, 2004 10:57 pm
Subject: From PREMA - Re: Question For The Women
Interesting question.
If we consider "safe" as being free to proceed without fear of harm
in any form--be it physical, mental, emotional or psychic--then I
have never known a safer place.
As students, we are not all highly evolved spiritual beings--yet. We
come to the path as we are, with our hopes, our misconceptions, our
dreams, our egos, our aspirations, our various cultural and racial
backgrounds. Conflicts are inevitable. Though rarely intense
outwardly, internal struggle, confusion, even fears are part of
life. To face each issue as it arises--to enter the heart of the
matter, understand and transcend--is to make true spiritual
progress; to come closer to one's own soul, one's true self. The
Supreme (or whatever you choose to call the cosmic source) gives us
all equal opportunities to transcend our current limitations.
How many times--being overwhelmed by layers of confusion, anger,
physical discomfort, indignation, self-depreciation, and God knows
what else--have I been inwardly inspired to pray for guidance and
ask for help? Each and every time, within a matter of minutes, I've
been shown the core of the matter, understood, embodied the truth of
it and transcended into a deeper peace. Facing one's own ignorance
can be quite challenging. They say only the strong survive. I
believe only the truly sincere can survive and continue the journey
to the soul.
So, how did and do I find that inner courage (sincerity) to face the
truth whatever it is? From Sri Chinmoy's unceasing inspiration,
encouragement, inner guidance and yes, love. Also, from the
companionship of my brothers and sisters who provide an environment
relatively free of the harsher elements of the material world.
Having had many and various experiences (within and without) in my
twenty-three years on this path, do I feel safe? Unequivocally,
unconditionally, and confidently, I say yes.
Prema
San Francisco
------------------------------------------------------------
#3182
From: sushmitam_r
Date: Mon Mar 22, 2004 10:57 pm
Subject: Re: Question for Women for Vasudha esp!
-Hi Vasudha
I couldn't resist replying - I'm hooked on this site and especially
this topic! I would never have thought of bringing up the sari
issue, but I totally agree! I'm not sure if others are surprised or
not, but it's true - I also love wearing saris! In fact, I love
wearing saris so much I wear one every day to work in my government
job. I do it to help my consciousness at work, and also because it
totally protects me from unwanted interest from men! I noticed a
huge difference in the way my work mates treated me the first day I
wore one (probably 6 years ago now). People at work apologise if
they swear in my presence now, and warn me if they're going to talk
about something that they think I wouldn't want to hear. It's great!
Sushmitam
------------------------------------------------------------
#3185
From: manifestationdream (Fiona)
Date: Tue Mar 23, 2004 4:06 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Thank you for your post following International Women's Day, which
has prompted me to spend some time reflecting on how deeply Sri
Chinmoy has impacted my life over the last nearly twelve years, and
just how much I have to be grateful for.
When I turned 21, there was so much about my life that I loved--but
still my heart called for something deeper and more fulfilling. By
my 22nd Birthday I had begun meditating, and to my extreme joy had
been accepted as a student of Sri Chinmoy. Immediately my feeling of
being 'alive' catapulted to a new height. I had attended other
spiritual Centres, but for me Sri Chinmoy had the missing and most
important piece to my life's puzzle.
Twelve years ago (and every day since), Sri Chinmoy has been a
perfect, faultless example from whom I learn so much every day. He
is what I aspire to become: a perfect instrument of God. As you
know, Sri Chinmoy believes that the perfection of human nature is
not only a possibility but also an inevitability. Lovingly and with
endless concern, Sri Chinmoy constantly shows me how to expedite
this inevitability in my own life.
Before accepting the spiritual life, I forever oscillated between my
mind's confusion jungle and my heart's dreams and aspirations. Over
the years, Sri Chinmoy has taught me how to listen to and trust the
most important thing in life: my heart's aspirations. The Sri
Chinmoy Centre has provided the most beautiful and fruitful
environment for me to pursue my aspirations: I want to love and
serve God and all His children--in the form of humanity.
Sadly it is true, every day thousands and thousands of innocent
women suffer terribly. Before accepting the spiritual life, learning
of such suffering would break my heart. I would feel helpless and
wish that in some way I could help. Now when I hear tragic news, my
heart suffers perhaps more than ever--but I no longer feel helpless.
The spiritual life reveals to us the importance and the power of
prayer and meditation. So firstly, with my heart's tears, I pray and
meditate intensely knowing God is with me. Secondly, with renewed
vigor and determination I resolve myself to love and serve the world
with all my heart and a brighter smile, so I can--in my own little
but special way--bring joy into this suffering world. Sri Chinmoy
has helped me to see that I and every individual can make a
difference.
>From a personal point of view, I have also learnt the importance of
praying for protection. How many miracle stories have we all heard
of how prayers for protection have saved our friends from dire
circumstances? I myself can personally recall numerous experiences
where a call for God's protection has saved me from what clearly
could have been infinitely worse situations. And what about all the
times God's protection has been there and I have not been conscious
of it!
As we can read in many of the hundreds of volumes of Sri Chinmoy's
writings, the spiritual life can never be an escape from the world.
Sri Chinmoy constantly advocates the necessity of accepting the
world, in order to transform the suffering of the world--but first
we have to transform our own lives. The Sri Chinmoy Centre is a
worldwide spiritual family supporting one another to focus on the
brightest, most positive part of our being, so we can manifest our
hope of also inspiring others in their own way to do the same. What
could be more beautiful?
On a final note: When I think of world suffering, I wonder what
spiritual Masters like Sri Chinmoy--who are infinitely more
identified with God's children than I am--go through. In Sri Chinmoy
Answers, Part 31, he writes: "'Mind your own business' does not
apply to spiritual Masters. Why did Jesus Christ suffer? What kind
of evil did he do? He did nothing. When a spiritual Master of his
calibre takes human incarnation, his suffering starts. When you
identify yourselves with others, your suffering increases."
But then, the reward is the Supreme's Smile. If the Supreme sees
that I am identified with you, with him, with her, with everyone's
suffering, then He gives me a Smile, because I am doing His
work...It is all oneness, oneness, oneness.
Gratitude Fiona - Adelaide
------------------------------------------------------------
#3196
From: wendymet827
Date: Tue Mar 23, 2004 1:56 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Thank you for the question to the women. You asked how the
experience of being a student of Sri Chinmoy has shaped our lives,
and you supposed that many women stick close to the Sri Chinmoy
Centre because we feel protected here.
My personal experience began 10 years ago. I came to this path as a
skeptic, on the verge of believing that happiness was an
unobtainable dream. My mind could not comprehend that attitude of
Divine love and acceptance that my heart felt emanating from Sri
Chinmoy.
Over the years my mind has begun to believe what my heart has had
the wisdom to know all along!
"Feeling protected" does not begin to explain why I am still on this
path. My experience has been one of continually discovering
storehouses of strength and love which have been hiding beneath my
many layers. These layers are being gently peeled off by spiritual
practice and guidance. I have begun to embrace those aspects of my
femininity such as intuition, empathy and compassion which are often
downplayed in the American business culture.
Although I work in a corporation and have many friends that are not
students of Sri Chinmoy, I do have a sense of protection--but the
protection isn't necessarily a quality I feel coming from without.
As I become more and more self-aware on this path, I feel
spiritually grounded and strong in my every day life. I know that at
the base of this feeling is the example of Sri Chinmoy. His purity,
combined with his acceptance and love of me as one of his students,
feeds and frees me in such a way that I am able to explore and
display more of my true self.
I love it here! To me, having Sri Chinmoy as a spiritual teacher is
as close to Paradise as I can get in the Earthly realm.
Wendy Metzler
San Diego
------------------------------------------------------------
#3197
From: Lucy
Date: Tue Mar 23, 2004 3:57 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
It is a supremely beautiful life for women on Sri Chinmoy's path. We
are freed from many of the limiting expectations of women that
prevail in the world, and encouraged to bring forward our unique and
divine qualities. I feel that our lives become increasingly simple,
pure and beautiful.
There is an affectionate family feeling in our centres which
nurtures our spiritual aspirations, but because we are all living
and working out in the world, we can hardly be said to have
retreated into 'safety'. We are often brought face to face with
ourselves and have to transcend our previous limits and attitudes to
walk forward along our chosen, sunlit path.
Lucy Monro
Melbourne
------------------------------------------------------------
#3201
From: julie_pedley
Date: Tue Mar 23, 2004 1:37 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Acceptance. I believe this is something we all want. We mould
ourselves to the individual person we think we are, wanting only to
fit in and be accepted by others. To find our own kind.
I developed my own basic spiritual beliefs relatively early on in
life. I have strong moral beliefs which I have maintained through
some difficult times. These beliefs made me stand out in the crowd.
I never had very many friends - only a few sincere ones. I never
sought to be popular, just to uphold my beliefs no matter what the
cost to me in this life.
Coming from a small New Zealand town, it was very hard to find
like-minded people, so I found myself lonely for a long time.
Eventually I moved to a slightly bigger town and found much the same
- ridicule for standing up and being counted, looking different,
trying to have honest fun. Being 'myself' was not acceptable. I
adapted enough to blend in a bit more. Still lonely and searching.
Through the martial art of Tae Kwon Do, I met my husband, such a
gentle soul. My loneliness was no more but still I felt empty.
Then we moved to Christchurch. We came on a one-way ticket with a
backpack each, a little money and a campsite booked for 3 weeks. We
knew no-one. By the second week we found what was to be our little
'haven', The Lotus-Heart Cafe :) Over the next few months the
Supreme blessed us in so many ways, showing us we were doing the
right thing. Jobs and accommodation, even transport solutions fell
into our laps. We became increasingly curious about The Lotus-Heart,
more specifically about the people who worked there. The Lotus-Heart
has the most divinely peaceful feeling about it and all the people
working there are so genuinely happy (I wanted to work there too but
I knew there was something special that I did not have yet). We went
along to the first series of meditation classes held in 2003, and
have been regulars ever since.
I now feel totally accepted, by a universal family of beautiful
people with the same ideals as myself. I have never known so many
friends, all genuine, supportive and inspirational. I am slowly
shedding the shields I built up over the years to protect myself (my
'true' self) from today's world. I love to sing, so I sing with all
my heart.
I had been working in the field of engineering for about 10 years,
which is very hard for a woman. This past year, with a new company,
I was mocked for being vegetarian, for not wanting to hurt animals
and for drinking herbal tea! From being a student of Sri Chinmoy
over this time, I came to realise that I no longer need to fight the
hostilities within the industry and environment. I recently left my
engineering job which had a very promising future for me outwardly,
to follow my heart. I am now studying full-time at craft art,
something I am very passionate about and good at. It is harder work
on many levels, but I am supremely happy as I am following my heart
and listening to my true self.
The Sri Chinmoy Centres are more than just safe places for women.
They are nurseries where you are able to grow and unfold like a
blossoming lotus flower to find your true colours and true nature.
Thank you Guru.
Sincerely with gratitude,
Julie
------------------------------------------------------------
#3204
From: Devaki
Date: Tue Mar 23, 2004 4:53 pm
Subject: Women
I just joined this discussion group, having had no idea these kinds
of very deep, thought-provoking and moving dialogues were going on!
To all my sisters and brothers around the world, I am so impressed
by your eloquence, clarity and moving testaments to how Sri Chinmoy
enriches all our lives whether we are female, male, single or
married.
I am one of the rare ones who got married on the path (30 years
ago), and have seen so many changes over the years. As Guru clearly
saw the potential for women on the path to feel completely safe,
secure, and dare I say 'empowered', he changed the path's direction.
It was no longer a social club, as it had been for some, but a
serious path to inner enlightenment where all could feel directed,
motivated and supported by both men and women, without the threat of
compromising their spirituality.
On the other hand, for those who were married as I was, it was a
place where Guru supported the equality of both male and female, and
treated them as individuals and as one (whatever was necessary for
the individual's growth). I think it has always been clear in all
disciples' minds that spirituality comes first, and each individual
needs his or her own experience for spiritual progress. God and Guru
have always come first for both of us, and I am grateful for that
every day. I am also grateful to the single women for their
incredible strength and independent spirits. Whatever our status, we
are all Guru's children, and under his loving care we are able to
grow and change and hopefully realize God. Keep that inspiration
flowing!
Devaki (Montreal, Canada)
------------------------------------------------------------
#3207
From: prashanta_cunningham
Date: Tue Mar 23, 2004 1:46 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Hi everyone,
I have been a student of Sri Chinmoy for nearly 30 years now, and am
deeply grateful for the opportunity to express my thoughts about a
life I have been privileged to lead.
It is such a rare opportunity to experience a different way of
living where one's inner joy, happiness and sense of oneness
overflows into the outer life. As a woman, my life has taken on a
new meaning...it is a freedom that I have been given to choose a
purer, simpler way of living.
For me, this is entirely normal--aspiring, and trying to be positive
and happy in everything that I do. Meditation creates purity in the
mind and this can flow into all parts of the being, if nurtured.
Sri Chinmoy, my beloved Teacher, has always encouraged us to be
childlike in spirit and to retain the purity and joy of a child. I
cannot really express in words how grateful I am to him for showing
me that there is indeed a different way.
I always knew as a young girl, that there had to be something more
to life than what I saw around me...some goal, some true meaning,
and I have found it on this Path.
With gratitude,
Prashanta
Melbourne, Australia
------------------------------------------------------------
#3215
From: dsiegel_smiling
Date: Wed Mar 24, 2004 12:08 am
Subject: Re: Question for Women
Vasudha has offered a very well-written and engaging response. These
points add another dimension to the Sri Chinmoy Centre that many
casual observers overlook.
It is absolutely true that Sri Chinmoy's spiritual lifestyle offers
an opportunity for us, in this new century, to choose an alternative
that accepts the very best aspects of humanity and strives to
transform its weaknesses. Indeed, Sri Chinmoy has come to the West
not out of hesitation, nor disgust for our society. A spiritual
master sees and feels the strengths and limitations of our present
human condition. He offers a practical outlet where we can focus on
the positive and higher ideals that each human being strives for.
Although the spiritual life is still viewed as an "alternative", yet
it may ultimately merge into mainstream living in the near future.
One only has to look at the women's movement in the last fifty years
to subscribe to this possibility. Far more surprising and
unpredictable events we have witnessed in our lifetime.
The light of Sri Chinmoy offers a beacon of hope for many who are
pushed and pulled by forces they may not see or understand. It is a
great comfort, and a greater protection.
David Siegel
------------------------------------------------------------
#3223
From: tirtha_di
Date: Wed Mar 24, 2004 5:48 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
It took me some time to answer, because I never found myself in a
particularly difficult situation concerning women and the spiritual
life.
I count myself extremely lucky, for I have been brought up with
sprituality. My parents joined Sri Chinmoy's path when I was 8 years
old - 24 years ago.
It must have been my childlike heart that, from the very beginning,
just loved Sri Chinmoy and his entire path. I was very proud and
happy to be his disciple, and that security throughout my whole life
has continued to protect me.
Especially as a teenager, it is a challenge to not follow the
mainstream, but I believe that through my inner and outer love for -
and confidence in - my spritual life, I was respected by my peers in
every way. (I was never "preaching" or telling much about my
spiritual life, when I knew it was not well understood.) When
classmates used to say: 'You are somewhat unapproachable, yet you
are everybody's friend', I would answer with a silent smile, for I
knew it was my Master's guidance and my soul's strength that kept me
focused on what I wanted most, which was the spiritual life.
Women might join the Centre for different reasons, but my
observation is that you can find in Sri Chinmoy whatever you are
looking for - or crying for deep inside your heart. Alone, the fact
of receiving guidance from a living spiritual Master is so precious
and unique. True, without experiencing it, one is not able
understand what others describe.
Of course, you need great perseverance, patience and willingness for
transformation, but the more you dedicate yourself to your real
inner longing, the more you will be protected. With your goal
constantly before your eyes, and your full acceptance of a true
Master - in this case Sri Chinmoy - you cannot be misled on the
road, and cannot be taken away.
In gratitude for being able to contribute,
Tirtha
------------------------------------------------------------
#3234
From: Kylie
Date: Thu Mar 25, 2004 3:00 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
"When we have a Master, when we are in his boat, we are safe.
Everybody will reach the Goal sooner or later, but if we consciously
and intensely aspire, we will undoubtedly reach the Goal sooner than
those who are still asleep." -Sri Chinmoy (Realisation-Soul and
Manifestation-Goal, 1974)
How has my experience of having Sri Chinmoy as my spiritual Master
changed and shaped my life? In so many ways. I feel incredibly
grateful that 8 years ago, as a young woman who'd just turned 20, I
was one of the fortunate ones to be awakened out of the sleep-state
of ignorance by discovering the Sri Chinmoy Centre at a perfect and
much-needed time in my life.
Young women leading today's lifestyle have so much to deal with, and
I think the need to feel safe and secure has become a significant
issue, whether we are conscious of this need or not. So many women
suffer from feelings of insecurity, and this is breeding fear,
competitiveness, a lack of oneness, and many other negative
qualities which hinder the quest for happiness and spiritual
progress. All of us have the childlike qualities of purity and
innocence deep inside us, and by choosing to consciously lead a
spiritual life and meditate with a true Master who embodies these
divine qualities in immense measure, we get the opportunity and
resources to bring these hidden qualities forward and expand them.
I offer gratitude for my life in the Sri Chinmoy Centre, as I've
been able to slowly but surely witness my own personal growth and
changes within myself. The safety and security of the Sri Chinmoy
Centre allows my true self to emerge and blossom day by day, minute
by minute, and for me this is a truly precious experience. My goal
in life now is to serve and become a perfect instrument of the
Divine.
Before beginning to lead a conscious spiritual life, I would hear
about tragedies in the world or in my own backyard and be
emotionally devastated and heartbroken, feeling utterly useless and
helpless to change things. I think an easy and often popular option
these days for young, sensitive women is to give up in despair, lose
touch with the outside world, and emotionally shut down to others'
troubles and devastating world events. I know I didn't watch or
listen to the news for many years because of the emotions I'd go
through by hearing all those sad but true stories.
But now, I feel empowered through my own practice of meditation. I
can help the world and Mother Earth, tear drop by tear drop, one
tiny step at a time. The incredible and totally self- empowering
truth is that finally, by simply meditating, I can make a
difference!
I've recently left my "home" Centre of Brisbane for the first time
to live in Adelaide and work in our new cafe Enterprise here. It's
amazing that under Sri Chinmoy's constant and loving guidance, I
immediately felt so protected and safe here, in a different city and
environment, doing things I've never tried before and loving it! I
know in the past there have been many instances when I've felt the
protection-grace of being a student of Sri Chinmoy times when my
life has been spared from disaster, or those close to me have been
protected. And countless times that I'm not even conscious of, I'm
sure I've been looked after on so many different levels.
Sometimes I look around our new cafe Enterprise whilst working and
feel it's like a dream but so real. The joy that bubbles forth and
overflows towards the customers and the other selfless-servers here
is unstoppable and feels unlimited, never-ending. Whilst serving
here during our first week, my days were filled with laughter,
smiles and tears of joy. I wish everyone on Earth could experience
these feelings of such love, happiness and oneness. In our cafe, we
have a beautiful Jharna Kala painting by Sri Chinmoy - a picture
that invokes a sense of paradise to me, with lotuses, water, flowers
and a sunrise. The aphorism below the picture quotes:
"Imagine the beauty of an earth without tears."
My soulful prayer is that more and more seekers will discover the
joy of the Sri Chinmoy Centres around the world and that from now
on, the only tears expressed will be those spontaneous tears of joy
and delight. IMAGINE!
This poem by Sri Chinmoy is from "Father & Daughter" 1975, (my birth
year):
'Lord, service was my imagination,
Service is my aspiration,
Service shall be my realisation.'
"Daughter, love was My Realisation,
Love is My Manifestation,
Love shall be My Perfection."
Kylie Adelaide, Australia
------------------------------------------------------------
#3236
From: nishima_nz
Date: Wed Mar 24, 2004 1:57 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
As I look back over my first 30 years, I remember always feeling
protected, feeling safe. I'm very grateful for how much I was
protected and sheltered from many experiences others had to go
through in life--experiences that might have pulled me off the path
which has led me to where I am today.
Before I joined Sri Chinmoy Centre, I felt safe--not because I
looked at the world through rose-coloured glasses and assumed all
the world was safe, but because of God's Grace, and because I made
choices as intuitively as I could with strong guidance from good
role models. Many of my choices then were very 'safe' choices. I
avoided challenging situations; therefore I limited my own progress
by not making the most of the opportunities presented to me.
My decision to join the Centre was not based on a mental
caclculation as to whether I felt it was a safe place, nor was it
because I loved the inclusion of so many activities to help us on
our spiritual journey. At the time, I would have said my decision
was intuitive. This was the path that felt right for me. I liked
many aspects of other paths, but just knew this was the right one.
I am not used to distinguishing between whether a situation is
different for men, women or children. I'm sure all three groups
would say they feel safe in Sri Chinmoy Centre if they were asked.
When we are children, we put our complete trust in our parents and
adults around us. As we grow older, we become aware that they are
not as pure and perfect as we once believed. Their knowledge is not
as complete as we once thought, and the pedestal on which we once
placed them is gradually lowered--or in some cases completely
shattered. Part of us still searches for something we can trust
fully and love purely. It would be nice to think we could put our
trust in our own intuition, but I know that it can easily be clouded
at this early stage of our progress.
Having become aware of the limitations of our childhood mentors, we
search for a teacher who can guide us in our adult life. To find a
pure teacher whom we can fully love and trust is priceless. With
this type of trust, it is like a safety net we are given to step
outside our comfort zone, beyond self-imposed boundaries. We are
empowered to transcend our limitations because we are given the
confidence that what we are doing is the best thing for us at that
time. We do not have to analyse it, just do it.
Personally, people do not make fun of my spiritual life, either
family, friends or work-mates. They simply respect my choice but
feel it is not for them. I never feel any negativity towards me or
feel threatened by people outside the Centre.
So in answer to the question: I do feel very safe in Sri Chinmoy
Centre--safe to take advantage of opportunities as they are offered
to me, and to make the most of them.
Nishima
(Auckland, NZ)
------------------------------------------------------------
#3237
From: gael_ballantyne
Date: Wed Mar 24, 2004 2:26 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Numerous times since joining Sri Chinmoy Centre, I have felt and
experienced a special sense of protection.
One of my experiences happened four years ago. I was sleeping when I
heard a voice. The voice was that of my Grandmother, who had passed
away about 8 years earlier. She said very simply, "You still pray
for protection, don't you?" This dream came within a couple of days
of Subarata's passing (she was a close friend of mine), and also
after someone had run into the back of my car. It was an amazing
experience, hearing her voice from the soul's world after all those
years. Needless to say, I now pray for protection.
One other time, while I was working in the Blue Bird Cafe, out of
the blue, I felt like God had entered right into my very being and
in that moment, I felt and knew I would be looked after for
eternity. I felt completely safe and felt no matter what, I would be
looked after forever.
With all my heart's love,
THANK-YOU GURU
Gael Ballantyne
(Auckland, NZ)
------------------------------------------------------------
#3239
From: sophiebutler_nz
Date: Wed Mar 24, 2004 3:03 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
I longed for modesty and purity in all aspects of my life before I
was consciously longing for a spiritual life.
Once I decided to become Sri Chinmoy's student, and the discipline
of a pure life led by the soul's wishes was established, I could
tangibly feel my soul's happiness and satisfaction.
The outer world teaches women that they should attract a partner in
order to be truly fulfilled. When this idea was replaced with the
goal of divine love, I felt an immense flood of relief and peace.
As a mother without a partner, I feel the absolute security of Sri
Chinmoy's powerful inner loving support and guidance at all times.
Also, I have the golden opportunity to offer my children a spiritual
upbringing with the detachment of allowing them to be God's children
and not my possessions. For them, living a spiritual life from the
beginning of their lives is very significant because they will be
able to retain much of their innocence as they grow up, and already
have clarity in their feelings about the purpose of life.
Married women in the Sri Chinmoy Centre are able to develop true
concern for, and oneness with their husbands. Their relationships
blossom into the closeness of brothers and sisters without
dependence on physical demands.
With Sri Chinmoy, a woman is able to cultivate all her natural
heart-felt yearning for pure love of God and the desire to offer her
life for the service of the divine in humanity.
Sophie Butler
(Auckland, NZ)
------------------------------------------------------------
#3242
From: Toshala and Wendy Elliott
Date: Wed Mar 24, 2004 2:43 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
I am so happy to have this opportunity to say how much I love being
in the Sri Chinmoy Centre.
My mother and I come from a close-knit and loving family, and had
led very sheltered lives. Up until the late 1980's, we were very
involved in family matters and had happy, full lives. All of this
was stripped away over a short time when most of the family members
close to us died from cancers, heart attacks and leukemia. Whilst
undergoing this personal holocaust, we came to the understanding
that God is all there is - everything else can be stripped away from
you, all of the trappings of life and everyone that you love,
everything can go. But always there is God. God became very real to
both of us over this time, and we were two very changed people. When
we came across the Sri Chinmoy Centre, it was just what God had been
preparing us for and to our joy and gratitude, Sri Chinmoy
accepted us into the Centre. Since then we have lived again - we
have known joy and love and the world has become radiant again.
Our lives have blossomed in the last 13 years since we joined this
beautiful path.
-I was a student when I joined the Centre. I completed my Ph.D in
science 10 years ago. I was not entirely happy doing this kind of
work, but I was good at it. Now I am successfully in business in the
food industry, with a beautiful Enterprise and a sense of
fulfillment and joy in what I am doing.
-I have seen my mother emerge from being a shy and reserved little
thing to becoming a happy, clever and self-confident woman.
So that is how being students of Sri Chinmoy has shaped our lives;
but the question we were asked is:
Is Sri Chinmoy Centre a safe place for women?
Our resounding answer is: Yes! It certainly is!
It needs to be said, though, that whilst there is a large measure of
protection afforded to us (for instance, a large prowler was once
coming for me and when I chanted a powerful mantra out loud, he
inexplicably fell over and I got away), such protection is secondary
to actually being a student of Sri Chinmoy. Our personal driving
reasons for joining the Centre had nothing to do with safety, and
may I be so bold to say that it tends to suggest that seekers are
meek, mouse-like and insipid, whereas I have noticed that most of
the women seekers I know are brave and self-assured.
We are very happy that we are in the Sri Chinmoy Centre, and the
highly tangible safety that we have been afforded is an added bonus.
Yours sincerely
Dr. Toshala Elliott, with Mrs. Wendy Elliott
(Auckland, NZ)
------------------------------------------------------------
#3257
From: sutibra
Date: Thu Mar 25, 2004 4:10 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
I am not a writer, poet, or intellectual. I am a mother who had
faith in a daily chant--a chant that asked God to lead me to a
higher and more fulfilling good, for the betterment of myself, my
family and all of humankind. I chanted this aphorism for many weeks,
and then came across a book of Sri Chinmoy's called 'Beyond Within'.
My prayers had been heard!
I had looked everywhere in my search for truth, and found all the
answers I needed here in this book--discovered in a shop amidst
probably hundreds and thousands of books. It just popped out at me.
I loved the title 'Beyond Within'. When I bought it, it was the end
of my search for answers. I would cry while reading it, grateful for
discovering such truth in such a simple way. I would use it to solve
my problems by just opening the book at a certain place. The answer
would always appear perfectly, simply and so beautifully written. I
knew and felt that Sri Chinmoy embodied the consciousness of
divinity I wanted to discover within myself. The realisation that
the whole world could also come to embody this divine consciousness
thrilled me.
I had no idea that Sri Chinmoy was alive. Somehow it never occurred
to me that I would ever be able to meet someone of such a high
calibre, let alone become his student. I was a housewife, a simple
person, married with children. The thought did not even occur to me.
After some time, I attended a free meditation workshop offered by
the Sri Chinmoy Centre, and to my delight I found out Sri Chinmoy
was really alive. I asked how I could meet this teacher who I felt I
already knew.
I joined the Sri Chinmoy Centre in New Zealand, and have since met
Sri Chinmoy in person many times. I have never been disappointed.
Safety, fear and mistrust have not been issues for me within Sri
Chinmoy Centre. The purity I feel from Sri Chinmoy and within the
Centre is real purity--I have found my teacher and I feel safe.
If you read his writings, you will find that Sri Chinmoy asks his
students to practice inner and outer disciplines, such as
meditation. "Meditation," says Sri Chinmoy, "is entering into our
soul and realising peace, light and bliss. Then through the physical
we offer these qualities to the world. When we meditate, we dive
into the vast sea of consciousness. The deeper we go, the more we
expand our own consciousness and the more abundantly the qualities
of light, peace and bliss grow inside us."
Sri Chinmoy talks about the paramount importance of purity. He says,
"Purity is the light of our soul expressing it's divinity through
the body, vital and mind. Purity is like a divine magnet--it pulls
all divine qualities into us."
"Sincerity," Sri Chinmoy says, "is our life's protector, and purity
is our life's perfector."
Sri Chinmoy also talks of "spiritual perfection," defining this as
"the constant capacity to know God and to reveal Him in one's every
movement."
Another reason I feel safe within the Centre is that Sri Chinmoy's
students are sincere seekers of truth. They endeavour to live these
teachings--to make them a reality in their own lives. They have come
to Sri Chinmoy with the sole purpose of discovering the divinity
within, or of becoming God-realised. They can appreciate the
divinity that lies in the consciousness of Sri Chinmoy, which he
expresses in the depth of his writings, the beauty of his paintings
and music, his manifestations of humanitarian aid, and his total
dedication to teaching meditation to thousands of people around the
world.
Because I trust and respect my own sincerity, I also appreciate
other seekers who are sincere in their search for God, and their
life of service to humankind here on earth. I trust and have faith
that through our practice of inner discipline under Sri Chinmoy's
guidance, we are being led to a more fulfiling life on our journey
of self-discovery and self-transcendence. Sri Chinmoy constantly
offers his compassion, purity and divine love--not just to his
students, but to all of humanity, all of creation. Through his help,
and with God's Grace, we will all eventually achieve oneness with
God.
TRIBUTE TO MY GURU
Thank you Guru, I have so much faith in you, in your dreams and
hopes for humanity, and in the pure, sincere and compassionate way
you are always here for us. I give gratitude for the divine and
beautiful consciousness you create wherever you go and in whatever
you do. I strive to become one with this consciousness, and can only
offer my gratitude to you for creating such a beautiful and divine
space for sincere seekers throughout the world to come together,
with their heart's sincerity and purity, in hope for a better world
and the fulfilment of God's vision here on earth.
Thank you Guru Sri Chinmoy
Sutibra
New Zealand
------------------------------------------------------------
#3258
From: kuhakini
Date: Thu Mar 25, 2004 4:27 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Is the Sri Chinmoy Centre a safe place women?
Definitely 100 times over! I could not imagine a safer place to be,
but that is not the reason I stay in the Centre. It is simply
because I love Sri Chinmoy and I do not want to be far from his
spiritual path.
In my teenage years, I attended a Catholic girls' high school which
I found to be a very nurturing, loving environment. I liked the fact
that it was all girls because it enabled me to grow and blossom, and
have more self-confidence than I think I would have if I had been at
a co-educational school.
The spiritual life with Sri Chinmoy is not unlike this. I feel
nurtured and able to grow as an individual without feeling
overshadowed. Sri Chinmoy has a unique and special way of dealing
with each and every individual to bring out the best in all of us.
He has spared nothing of himself in complete self-offering to help
us become and remain happy, and to grow into our highest potential.
I believe the Sri Chinmoy Centre is not only a safe place to be, but
perhaps the safest place in the entire world because of Sri
Chinmoy's all-pervading love and protection, which we all feel.
I too greatly agree with the comment of feeling 'empowered living a
spiritual life', because what can be more empowering than the fact
that we are growing into our true selves? That is to say, we are
discovering our souls and growing into their infinite freedom,
rather than dwelling in the realm of the mind which is often dry and
full of problems.
I too believe that some of the most precious and loving people that
the earth has seen are, and have been treated unjustly by the
ignorance of humanity. We only have to look at history to see how
many people have been mercilessly mistreated by the ignorance of the
age, and only afterwards did humanity realise these people to be
prophets, geniuses, saints and direct representatives of God. To
name only a few (and I am sure every field of human endeavour has
them): the impressionist painters, Van Gogh, Joan of Arc and Jesus
Christ. Christ's breathtaking and sacrificing life gives us this
message in its most devastating form. He was crucified literally by
the ignorance of this world. It is sad to know that such ignorance
still lives in the world today, in the minds and actions of those
who taunt and attack the most pure of men.
I only know that at least I am playing my part in the divine play,
and growing in the Supreme's divine Light into a happy and fulfilled
God-lover, in the lap of the Sri Chinmoy Centre.
Kuhakini
Christchurch
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#3262
From: Eta
Date: Thu Mar 25, 2004 10:34 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
I come from a small island called Rotuma, near Fiji. When I was very
young, it broke my heart to see my mother badly mistreated by my
father. Finding the Sri Chinmoy Centre has saved me by showing me my
inner self and helping me to find my inner strength. Sri Chinmoy
teaches us to rise above our previous negative experiences. He
supports us by not only pointing the way to a better place, but also
guiding us to that place.
Soon I will turn 60, but I only found Guru seven years ago, or
rather Guru found me. I had spent my whole life searching.
Guru has taught me to transcend myself, to live from the heart with
joy, to transcend the past and to replace fear with love. Now I feel
very safe and guided.
Deepest love and gratitude,
Eta
Christchurch, New Zealand
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#3263
From: alana_bluebird
Date: Thu Mar 25, 2004 3:56 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
I am a married woman with two sons. I come from a large Catholic
family where we were taught about a loving and caring God. We were
taught the importance of living the life of God's teachings in the
way we treated others and in the way we thought about others and
ourselves. We were taught about surrounding ourselves with
like-minded people; choosing carefully the friends we made; the
places we socialized; the values we wanted to surround us. We were
taught that our way might not be the only way, but it was what
suited our family best.
When I joined Sri Chinmoy Centre I was happy with my Catholic faith,
but through meditation I have been inspired and encouraged to
transcend my ideas about myself and my family, and I have gained
enormous confidence in teaching my sons about knowing, loving and
serving God. Our family as a unit has become very close, happy and
successful. The children have a sense of knowing and confidence that
is often remarked upon by family, friends and schoolteachers.
Sri Chinmoy's philosophy sits very well with me as a woman. It is
not at odds with my upbringing it feels like a natural progression
into finding my deeper spiritual self. It embodies the eternal
Truth, which I strongly believe in, and it embraces all that is good
in this world and inspires me to go beyond. I love and deeply
appreciate this golden opportunity to live an active, hands-on,
exciting, modern-day spiritual life.
Gratitude always to Sri Chinmoy for all that he is sharing with
humanity.
Yours sincerely
Alana Myers-Daly
Auckland, New Zealand
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#3267
From: Karnayati
Date: Thu Mar 25, 2004 12:35 pm
Subject: Re: Question for the women
To answer the original question: Yes, Sri Chinmoy Centre is a safe
place for women. It is also a safe place for men. For me, being a
member of Sri Chinmoy Centre is like coming to a beautiful safe
loving home with sisters and brothers who care all around. I love
the fact that it is an international family and that we come
together in joy and harmony. I love the way we help each other and
those around us. I love the oneness that I experience in the Centre.
I love the way we reach out to provide humanitarian services, to
provide lessons in meditation without charge. I love working in
restaurants and bookshops run by students of Sri Chinmoy where we
can provide excellent service to the public. We have such a
wonderful example in Sri Chinmoy of how to give freely and fully of
ourselves to humanity.
I have two sons, and I hope and pray that the world we live in can
follow Sri Chinmoy's example of recognising that men and women are
different, and also that each can transcend their own limitations
through their aspiration, determination, prayer and meditation. Sri
Chinmoy has been a great inspiration in my own life, and has led me
to do many things I would not have dreamt were possible. He has
taught me that ordinary people can do extraordinary things. I am
also learning to trust more and worry less. I truly feel younger and
healthier and happier than I was 13 years ago before I joined Sri
Chinmoy Centre.
I feel safe in the Centre because it is the closest place I have
found to God on this earth. I pray that the confidence I am gaining
through this security will help me fulfill my full potential so that
I can be all God would want me to be. To quote Sri Chinmoy:
The ever-mounting flame
Of my heart's aspiration-cry
Is the source of my life's
Ever-increasing joy and delight.
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#3272
From: Sumitra
Date: Thu Mar 25, 2004 1:20 pm
Subject: The Question for Women
I appreciate the chance you have given me to reflect on my life.
When I found the Centre over 25 years ago, I was already 50 years
old--well-conditioned by the secular society I grew up in. My life
as a student of Sri Chinmoy has been like a journey of growing
younger instead of older, a gradual shedding of layer upon layer of
restrictive social conditioning, and the freedom--the glorious
freedom--to grow toward the spiritual person I am meant to be. So
many opportunities to explore different parts of my being, develop
my strengths and recognise my weaknesses (ouch), whether in the
world of sports, music, writing, organising, teaching, cooking,
dishwashing(!)--and all from the standpoint of what is possible when
we live in the heart and not in the mind.
None of this amazing journey would have been possible without the
abiding encouragement and love of Sri Chinmoy himself, expressed
through his writings, talks, music, supreme Example... and above
all, his Presence.
My heartfelt Gratitude,
Sumitra
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#3273
From: jacqui_aussie
Date: Thu Mar 25, 2004 3:54 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
God, I think I love You.
"Daughter, what is the proof?"
God, this is the proof:
You know, God,
I do not live with ignorance
Anymore;
I do not play with doubt
Anymore;
I do not cry with fear
Anymore;
I do not eat with jealousy
Anymore;
I do not dance with despair
Anymore.
"Daughter, enough.
You love Me
And
I love you.
Be happy. Remain happy."
-Sri Chinmoy
Yes, the poem is what it is all about; that and faith.
>From the time I was a teenager, I always felt there was something
missing and unfulfilled in my life--in spite of having a loving and
happy childhood, marriage and family life.
Since becoming a student of Sri Chinmoy a few years ago, things have
changed. There is detachment from the desires of the material world.
I don't feel alone anymore, I have a sense of self, direction and
purpose. Inner peace, happiness, joy and wonderment are bubbling
out, like when I was a child. I am 62 but I do not feel old anymore.
I am healthier and I have this great sense of freedom and vitality.
Life is still full of challenges, but they no longer seem
insurmountable. Therefore it is easier to pick myself up, dust
myself off and still face life with enthusiasm when things go badly.
Jacqui
Melbourne, Australia
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#3276
From: anami2708
Date: Thu Mar 25, 2004 12:25 pm
Subject: Question for the women
All of you expressed yourself in an outstanding and unique way. It
would be worth making a book out of it.
For me, the question if I am feeling safe in the Sri Chinmoy Centres
never arose, because I totally felt like I was coming back home to
my real inner family when I became a student of Sri Chinmoy 16 years
ago.
I grew up in an tiny village in the Bavarian Alps, with skiing and
climbing in the high mountains which I knew very well - very often I
was sitting on the mountaintops watching the silent sunset. At these
precious moments I often cried out inwardly: "Where are you, who are
living (not just preaching) this kind of pure, spiritual, honest
life with the high ethical values I am looking for? Where are you O
brothers and sisters of this beautiful world, who really want to
leave this world better than you found it, who really want to grow
and mature in the inner life? Where are you....striving for the
impossible, to reach the highest of your capacities and
possibilities and consciously raise the human standard of life by
your living example?...where are you?"
For a long time there was no answer (I was about 15-16 years old).
Then in 1987 I met miraculously with Sri Chinmoy at a delightful,
heart-opening concert in Freiburg - and so my journey finally began.
It was like coming home. Meeting Sri Chinmoy and his students made
me feel really comfortable and at ease - at your real home you
always feel safe - not one thought was squandered about safety. It
is also said that you will recognize a real Master by his "fruits" -
by what he brings to the fore in his words and deeds, and of course
by the character of his students. Naturally we are all far from
being perfect - but there is an immense hunger for progress, and
loving respect for all beings on earth. And in the meantime, I know
quite a few human jewels of brothers and sisters on our path.
I am truly proud of each one of you - my brothers and sisters all
over the world - for you are taking the challenge day by day as the
real inner heroes of life, and I feel honoured and heartfully happy
to share this unique life-road with you. ...
With joyfully beaming gratitude
Anami
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#3290
From: Hladini
Date: Fri Mar 26, 2004 6:13 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
I would like to respond to the question about safety. Having had the
incredible privilege of being in the Sri Chinmoy Centre for three
decades, I can confirm that the Centre is indeed a safe place for
women. This path gives full respect and responsibility to both
genders. Good qualities such as gentleness, courtesy, strength and
purity are encouraged among all Centre members, so the women do not
have to suffer from the patronization and base macho behaviour so
prevalent among Western males. Nor do we have to play coy games of
flirtation and manipulation to gain position or prestige. Far from
being 'repressed', the women in our Centre feel very free to be
themselves, to steadily transcend their own limitations and to
develop their individual capacities.
Meditating and following the teachings of Sri Chinmoy has enabled me
to grow far beyond the tremendous fear, frustration, helplessness
and confusion that governed my early years, and to reach a joyful
understanding of life as a vast field for making personal progress
and for serving God and humanity.
Quite simply, being in the Sri Chinmoy Centre makes me increasingly
happy and poised. I cannot now imagine being confined to the
'normal' life of most other women, who follow the status quo and
look for satisfaction only in relationships, careers and material
possessions. I love my life of prayer and meditation, and I thank
God for the blessing of having an enlightened Master and a worldwide
family of aspiring brothers and sisters.
Hladini
Kingston, Canada
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#3291
From: Paramita
Date: Fri Mar 26, 2004 5:55 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
As a member of the Sri Chinmoy Centre for almost 30 years, I feel
and have always felt completely and totally safe. I am accepted and
respected as a whole person--including my intellectual self and my
emotional self, but most importantly my spiritual self.
Here we are a very large international family of spiritual brothers
and sisters. This is a family striving for the ideal in inter-
relationships based on respect for the very best, the highest in
each individual. The essential goodness, the genuine love of God and
the service to God in humanity is what is valued in each person,
whether they are male or female. Every person receives tremendous
support and encouragement in their own journey to becoming the best
possible citizen of this world that they can be.
There is no discrimination based on gender, race, religion or
nationality. Abuse of anyone--male or female--is out of the
question.
Paramita
Kingston, Canada
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#3297
From: devakigroulx
Date: Fri Mar 26, 2004 10:58 am
Subject: gratitude for so much inspiration
To all the posters worldwide--thanks so much for sharing your ideas,
poems, projects and writings of Sri Chinmoy.
Normally my readings are full of boring work-related
(stress-inducing) information. It's such a joy to read all your
inspiring ideas. I feel like I'm getting my 'reading' done online
with so many excerpts of Sri Chinmoy's writings being posted.
As I said before, all the womens' offerings have been a joy to read,
and I agree with someone who said it would make a great book!
I am going to encourage other members of my Centre to join the group
and hopefully post some of their own thoughts, feelings and
inspirations.
A note to our sisters and brothers in NZ and Australia: We admire
your oneness and dedication! You are so far away physically, but
spiritually, so connected and in tune with Sri Chinmoy and his hopes
for all of us to realize the Eternal Truths. Every time I see any of
you in N.Y. (having taken that long gruelling trip myself), I admire
you so much. You are always ready to serve, and always seem so
cheerful in spite of the jet lag!!.
Love and oneness,
Devaki
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#3300
From: Sugandha
Date: Fri Mar 26, 2004 3:59 pm
Subject: response to the question on women
When I first encountered Sri Chinmoy's writing, I found his words
both inspiring and comforting. Not only was his vision for the
individual seeker, but for the whole world. If these truths were
lived, then there was truly hope for beauty and justice, peace,
love, compassion and freedom for all.
Many years later, I find that my moments of true happiness and
clarity come during meditation. I wish that everyone were able to
avail him or herself of this.
On this path, every individual--man or woman--is encouraged and
inspired to reach his or her own goals, and in doing so contributes
to the joy and inspiration of all his or her fellow seekers. There
is a feeling of family, with the protection and support that goes
with it. It is also very interesting to meet people from so many
different countries that have so much in common.
All that being said, being in the Sri Chinmoy Centre is no escape.
It is a chance to discover the real, to face one's own weaknesses,
and to grow into a way of living which is both inwardly fulfilling
and outwardly creative. It is a tremendous blessing.
Sugandha,
Montreal, Canada
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#3310
From: nishtha_nyc
Date: Sat Mar 27, 2004 7:03 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
A few thoughts in response to your question about women's experience
in the Sri Chinmoy Centre:
I personally came to the Centre at the age of 20 years. Now 32 years
later, I can answer with the strongest affirmation that the Sri
Chinmoy Centre is a very, very safe place for women--and men! (My
sister also joined Sri Chinmoy's path 32 years ago, some months
after I did.)
I was trying to read between the lines, trying to understand what
you were referring to when you asked if women are safe in the
Centre. Were you referring to the rape, abuse and harassment of
women that you mentioned? These issues just have absolutely nothing
to do with life in the Centre--thank God!--so much so that I am
still trying to be sure that was part of your question to us female
Centre members. The Sri Chinmoy Centre is a spiritual place where
men and women come to pray and meditate. It is not a place for
social life or sexual relationships. The people who join the Centre
know that from the time they join, and they have happily chosen this
modest lifestyle.
Maybe there are other meanings to your question about being safe?
Might I say that women members of the Centre are not only safe, but
also happy. I do not think there is a single female student of Sri
Chinmoy who came to his spiritual path just to be "safe" as you are
suggesting. Those who came to Sri Chinmoy to study did so because
they feel a need to improve their lives and progress as individuals
towards their own highest potential. This aspiration is not a
gender-related issue; it is a common spiritual pursuit. This is a
path of self-discovery and self-transformation. The Sri Chinmoy
Centre provides a very positive atmosphere for individuals to evolve
into the very best they can become. The Centre is like a warm family
where people treat one another appreciatively and respectfully like
brothers and sisters. Women play leadership roles in the worldwide
Centres, as do men. Many of us have established our own private
businesses (my sister and I, for example, have operated a vegetarian
restaurant since 1974). We women participate in sports events, art
and music events and community events on an equal basis with the
male members of the Centre. The truth is that we do not particularly
need to celebrate International Women's Day. Why? Because it is
already an integral part of our daily Centre lives. Women are
encouraged and appreciated in the Sri Chinmoy Centre on a daily
basis. They must also bear responsibilities and face all the same
challenges of a busy, modern-day life that the male members do.
I wonder if there is some confusion about spirituality itself. The
spiritual life is not intended to be an escape from practical,
responsible life or from society. On the contrary, men and women
alike in the Sri Chinmoy Centre are encouraged to be active,
responsible adults.
I do believe that in some countries where Women's Day is a more
popular holiday, such as the former Soviet Union, Serbia and
Montenegro, it is observed in the Centres. Where I am located in
the U.S.A., Women's Day is not such a widely popular holiday.
Women are by nature--their highest nature--sweet, soft, tender and
self-giving, but that does not mean they have to be in a position of
being taken advantage of. Women also have fortitude, strength and
patience. The time has come for women to bravely and sincerely
accept the spiritual life--the life of prayer, meditation and
selfless service--so we can transform our weaknesses and strengthen
our positive qualities. I have never met anyone who encourages women
to do so more than Sri Chinmoy.
- Nishtha
Jamaica, New York
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#3311
From: srichinmoyinspiration
Date: Sat Mar 27, 2004 11:30 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Thank you to all the women who are sharing their feelings and
experiences. There seems to be quite a bit of interest in this
topic.
I realize now that some women couldn't even believe I was asking the
question about safety in the Centre. They could not imagine I was
asking about rape, abuse and harassment of women, since--judging by
their responses--these things simply do not occur in the Centre.
By way of apology, I can only say that sometimes there's a
disconnect between the pure life led by spiritual seekers, and the
way they are depicted outside their own communities. One of the
reasons I started this topic is that I was asking myself: "Who has
the right to define spiritual seekers? Do they get to define
themselves? Or do they get defined and labeled by others?"
I think sometimes there are others who try and usurp the right of
spiritual seekers to define themselves. I am glad that the women of
Sri Chinmoy Centre are speaking out with their own voices, claiming
the right to have their own lives and own stories speak for
themselves. In my opening question I wrote:
"Sometimes it seems that in the outer world, people have many
strange ideas. They think that because someone prays and meditates
and joins in the life of a spiritual community, that means they are
"abused." Also, it seems that if someone leaves a spiritual group
and later enters into therapy, there is tremendous pressure on them
to conform to negative stereotypes about "cults." In some cases,
they seem to make up ridiculous stories designed to please their
therapist. Maybe this is one reason there is so much confusion about
spiritual groups."
I would like to follow up on some issues raised by Sushmitam in
connection with her years of experience as a psychotherapist. She
implied that there is such a thing as "good therapy" and "bad
therapy." I believe this to be very true.
In therapy, patients are often concerned with creating a narrative
truth for past events--one they can live with. A narrative truth is
not a literal truth, it is a retelling of the story of one's life.
The patient and the therapist reach an agreement about how the story
should be told, and the emphasis is not always on what is literally
true, but on what will make the patient "feel better"--or in some
cases, what will satisfy the therapist's psychological theories or
ideological convictions.
Gifted therapists don't allow their patients to adopt a narrative
which is a mere stereotype, which drastically alters reality, or
which unfairly demonizes third parties. Unfortunately, many bad
therapists will encourage precisely that, particularly those with an
ideological bias (such as anti-cultism).
People who have the misfortune of hooking up with an anti-cult
therapist may be told that they adopted spiritual practice due to
psychological frailties, bad parenting, an unhappy love affair, or
"cult mind control." Yet, social scientists who have studied the
data have concluded that people who join religious movements tend to
do so in response to deeply felt spiritual needs--often after a
period in which they were dissatisfied with the quality of their
spiritual life. This is certainly borne out by the women's stories
in this thread.
Sushmitam, you were talking about how people following a spiritual
path eventually have to confront their personal issues, and how
sometimes that's the point at which they leave. Maybe they received
abundant light and love which touched them to the very core of their
being, but something in their nature wanted to cling to their old
life. So they leave. Then, what is their experience? I have been
studying this issue, and I would like to share some observations.
At first they may promise themselves that they will remain faithful
"in their hearts" to the gifts they received. But when they are away
from spiritual practice, gradually they may lose that sense of
connectedness. They may feel a bit lost in the secular world, and
also guilty about having abandoned their faith. In some cases, they
may turn to drugs and alcohol. Eventually, they may seek the help of
a therapist.
This is a pivotal point. Such a person does not have a "cult
problem," they have an adjustment problem. A really good therapist
would see this. But if they get a bad therapist, especially one
allied with the anti-cult movement, then they will be told they are
"victims of cult abuse."
The patient may argue, "No, no, I was never abused. In fact, I was
shown tremendous love and kindness. If anything, I feel really
guilty about having let down my teacher and my friends, and having
failed to achieve my personal goals." But the therapist may say:
"All 'cults' and 'cult leaders' are the same. They are all abusers.
You must have been abused, I know you were. I want you to read these
books about 'cult' abuse. Then I want you to think about all the
ways you were abused and write them down in a journal. Remember, I
can't help you until you admit you were abused. Then you have to get
angry at the 'cult leader.' Once you start showing signs of
'progress,' I can gradually reduce your medication. I can also
introduce you to a little group where people like you help each
other 'recover' from 'cult abuse' by sharing their 'testimonials'
with the public. The final test of whether you're really 'cured' is
if you're willing to 'rescue' other 'cult victims' by telling them
the 'new information' you've learned about the 'cult.'"
Exposure to hate material in a group setting, plus complete
isolation from the spiritual group, can produce a radical inversion
of views. This is much like what is done to prisoners of war. They
are shown writing samples which vilify a person or group, and
pressured to write "confessions" or "testimonials" which will bring
their own accounts into conformity. They are constantly urged to
"imagine" a person doing horrible things which that person has NEVER
done in real life. Such false accounts gradually become real to them
through vicarious experience. (Psychologists call this "imagination
inflation.") Gradually, the image of a beloved mentor is replaced
with the stereotype of a hated "cult leader."
In my opinion, this kind of "treatment" by anti-cult therapists is
itself a form of abuse, and often leads to cases of False Memory
Syndrome (FMS). In the 1995 Sydney Morning Herald series "Therapy In
Turmoil: The Memory Controversy," Richard Guilliatt writes:
"Dr Jerome Gelb, a Melbourne psychiatrist who has recently treated
nine women for satanic abuse, says he now believes the stories are
false beliefs."
"'I have had three patients who have openly stated that their
"memories" were induced by the therapists they were seeing,' said Dr
Gelb. 'They were pressured into accusing family members of incest,
pressured into saying they were satanically abused, and in one case
pressured into leaving home.'"
"Dr Gelb argues that 'a significant cadre of poorly trained,
overzealous or ideologically driven psychotherapists have pursued a
series of pseudo-scientific notions that have ultimately damaged the
patients who have come to them for help.' He says that three of his
patients have now acknowledged that their recovered 'memories' of
abuse were actually confabulations produced by suggestive therapy."
"Dr Gelb has since become one of the most outspoken critics of
recovered memory in Australia, arguing in the pages of Australiasian
Psychiatry that therapists have done untold damage by using highly
suggestive techniques to induce false beliefs in their patients."
Malcolm Stern of the British False Memory Society writes:
"FMS involves not just recovering supposed memories but making them
the central feature in one's life, the basis of a new identity. The
rewards can be substantial: attention and sympathy; status as a
survivor (very fashionable in some circles); the companionship of
fellow-sufferers; above all, the comfort of knowing that, whatever
one's past or present problems, somebody else was to blame."
"We have seen [sufferers] reject anyone who doubts their
allegations, rush to join support groups, pore over the self-help
literature--in short, turn themselves into full-blown, single-minded
victims[.] ... We, for our part, regard them as victims of
irresponsible therapy, often allied to a dubious ideology." [BFMS
Newsletter, Vol 7. No 1 August 1999]
Charlotte Vale Allen, a genuine abuse survivor and the author of
Daddy's Girl writes:
"A woman I've known for over thirty years who's always been
searching for her 'gift,' for the career move that will finally
bring her happiness has now got memories that fill her with purpose.
After falling out of touch for a decade, she telephoned to say, in
essence, 'Guess what? Me, too!' But in the very new tones of
tremendous self-importance. This woman who'd never been able to find
something to do in life that would bring her any satisfaction was
now positively brimming with it. With the help of her therapist,
she'd at last found her calling--as a victim! She had ludicrous,
unbelievable tales to tell of satanic abuse--in the heart of one of
Toronto's oldest, wealthiest areas. Right! ... What is going on?
It's as if some sort of collective lunacy has taken hold of
people--the patients and therapists, both lockstepped in a march
toward finding a past history of abuse at all costs. Victimhood as a
desirable status is anathema to me[.]" [From the website of
Charlotte Vale Allen]
I apologize for bringing in a number of ideas which may seem strange
to members of a spiritual organization which has no history of
abuse. I guess my reason for doing so is to try and explain the
disconnect between the reality of Sri Chinmoy Centre--which has an
unblemished reputation--and the type of hate material which is
sometimes used to discourage people from choosing spiritual
alternatives.
In closing, I would like to say that there is good therapy and bad
therapy--and then there is downright abusive therapy. When former
spiritual seekers go to a therapist with a simple adjustment
problem, and end up being subjected to a program of psychological
manipulation which leaves them believing in ridiculous tales of
abuse for which there is no objective evidence, that is downright
abusive therapy.
One might even call such therapy a form of "social engineering."
After all, personal information about the patient is being used to
advance the therapist's hidden agenda. In such cases, the therapist
seems less concerned with helping the patient become a happy, well-
adjusted person, and more concerned with turning them into an
anti-cult activist willing to spread hate material about their
former religion.
In fairness, I would guess that most therapists are compassionate
healers who do want to help their patients. However, a therapist's
world view can strongly influence his or her sense of what it truly
means to "help." A gifted therapist might recognize that spiritual
seekers will not be helped by a programme designed to turn them into
secular conformists. But a "hack" may try and convince spiritual
seekers to abandon their faith and lead an ultra-pragmatic life
rooted in career, family and creature comforts. Therapy is, after
all, a mentoring tradition. Patients are most likely to be
pronounced "cured" if they end up mirroring the therapist's world
view, and adopting a retelling of their life story approved by the
therapist. Where we see former spiritual seekers turned psychiatric
patients telling highly scripted accounts of how they were "abused
by the cult," and where there is absolutely no evidence of such
abuse--where the real world data in fact indicates quite the
opposite--then we are right to conclude that these stories are
coming from the therapist, not the patient.
I recently had a chance to review some correspondence on these
issues. I was struck by the fact that in the thirty-five year
history of Sri Chinmoy Centre, no one has ever filed any complaint
of sexual abuse, child abuse, or anything of the sort. I guess that
laudable record would come as no surprise to the women participating
in this discussion. What is surprising is that there are people who
make their living advertising to parents that for a few thousand
dollars, they will perform a "cult intervention" which will "rescue"
their child from "abuse by the cult." It seems clear to me that
false tales of abuse serve as a marketing tool to sell such
"services." I consider this practice highly unethical, if not
downright illegal.
I hope this makes clear my reason for having asked the question "Is
Sri Chinmoy Centre a safe place for women?" And because women have
such strong nurturing and protective instincts toward children, I
would also like to expand my original question to the women: Is the
Sri Chinmoy Centre a safe place for children?
------------------------------------------------------------
#3312
From: nilima_silver
Date: Sat Mar 27, 2004 7:56 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
In answering the question about how my experiences as a student of
Sri Chinmoy have shaped my life, I am thinking back to the sixties
when I stumbled on Yoga and meditation before they were as
mainstream as they are today. I was desperately looking for
something to help me concentrate on my studies and cope with tension
in my senior year in high school. Yoga not only helped with stress
management, but opened doors to so much more, including the concept
of becoming closer to God--something previously foreign to me in my
atheistic upbringing.
One recurring theme in Sri Chinmoy's writings is that the spiritual
life is extremely practical. Indeed, I feel so fortunate to have
discovered the practical tools of faith, meditation and prayer as a
teenager, and they have helped me ever since to get through each day
with a little more poise, energy and joy. Needless to say, I am
extremely grateful for Sri Chinmoy's inner and outer teachings,
which have guided me and inspired me for over three decades in
efforts to better myself and, in my own small way, to make the world
a better place. And I am also grateful to have had the support of my
spiritual brothers and sisters, who have always been there for me,
whether it be in addressing day to day concerns, or in times of
crisis, such as the recent death of my father or my own
hospitalization from pneumonia a few months ago.
Which brings me to the last question--is the Sri Chinmoy Centre a
safe place for women? First, I think that this modern form of
spirituality offers a healthy and safe balance between our spiritual
and secular lives, with all of us living in our own homes or
apartments, having different jobs and activities, and maintaining
our financial independence. And in terms of receiving encouragement
and security from what has become my extended family, and benefiting
from the guidance of a very wise and compassionate Spiritual
Teacher, I would answer yes, a definite yes, a resounding yes!
------------------------------------------------------------
#3313
From: nayak_ltp
Date: Sat Mar 27, 2004 10:05 am
Subject: Nishtha's reply to "Question For The Women"
Dear Nishtha,
This reply was very inspiring to me. The replies themselves--yours,
plus those of the many other women who have replied--show the
independence, confidence, enthusiasm, spiritual commitment and self-
giving nature of the women in the Sri Chinmoy Centre. In addition to
the substantial content of the replies, the tone of each reply is
the best answer in itself.
Yours,
Nayak
------------------------------------------------------------
#3320
From: tanima_ny
Date: Sat Mar 27, 2004 3:22 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
This is in response to the "Question for the Women," which caught my
eye and raised some issues on which I would like to share my views.
Perhaps it is best to first tell a little about myself. My name is
Tanima, and I have been a student of Sri Chinmoy for 36 years, since
February 1968, when I joined at the age of 20, in my last year of
college. Actually, my mom first joined Sri Chinmoy Centre and then
inspired me. She had heard about Sri Chinmoy from the publicist for
the Off-Broadway show she was performing in, and she joined in 1967.
I am fortunate to have been an integral member of Sri Chinmoy Centre
from the beginning, and have been deeply involved in the activities
of Sri Chinmoy and his students, mainly as a leader of singing
groups, teaching and performing his devotional songs. Since 1970, I
have lived in Jamaica, Queens, New York, which is the central
location of the Centre.
Now, to get to the question. The writer refers to the many abuses
women are subjected to in the outer world, and asks: "Is Sri Chinmoy
Centre a safe place for women?" The answer, of course, is an
unconditional "Yes."
Obviously, I can speak only from my own experience; however, that
experience has been long, extensive and comprehensive. It would be
impossible to be closely associated on an almost daily basis for 36
years with an organization and its leader, and not know the truest
nature of both on every level. I can unequivocally say that Sri
Chinmoy, his path and his disciples embody only the absolute highest
standards, not only of purity, but also of spirituality, morality
and integrity. I have never, ever once, in my thousands upon
thousands of interactions with either Sri Chinmoy or his male
disciples, personally been the recipient of, or witnessed, or even
heard of any abusively untoward, undivine or impure actions. (Let me
also say that even on a subtle plane, we women have a special inner
"antenna" when it comes to this. There is not a woman in the world
who wouldn't recognize a man's "vibe", look, innuendos or actions
that indicate his impure intentions.)
Sri Chinmoy is a spiritual Master of the highest principles, the
highest purity, and the deepest goodness, and his students reflect
this high standard in all that they do. The way both he and his male
students relate to the female students is always, under all
circumstances, on the purest level, following the ancient Eastern
spiritual traditions. To give a few examples: at all meditations and
functions, the women and men sit completely separately; women and
men do not ride together in a car, except perhaps for couples and
relatives; even when we perform spiritual plays, the women and men
rehearse in completely separate groups.
As far as the writer getting "the feeling that many women stick
close to Sri Chinmoy Centre because they feel protected there," for
myself--and I think for many of my longtime friends on the path--I
would not say that we stay in the Centre solely for this reason,
though the protection of our pure lifestyle is certainly an added
"plus." We stay because our lives have been transformed and continue
to be transformed for the better. We stay because Sri Chinmoy is
such a remarkable, elevated, and illumined spiritual Master who
teaches us how to bring forward and strengthen our very best
qualities, how to transcend our limitations and weaknesses, how to
aspire, pray and meditate, and become better citizens of the world.
The writer also speaks of people saying that women who choose the
spiritual life are "repressed." For myself, it is exactly the
opposite. Nothing could be more liberating than not to have to rely
on or answer to a male partner, or to be bound to the full-time,
almost lifelong responsibility of raising children. Don't
misunderstand me: many women are happy and fulfilled with such a
life. We need them in the world, and I do not look down upon them.
However, I could not be happier with the choice I have made--to lead
a dedicated spiritual life, a life which, thanks to my spiritual
Master, Sri Chinmoy, is fulfilled in unceasing self-transcendence.
I thank the author of the question, and thank all those who might
read this for the opportunity to share my views.
Tanima
------------------------------------------------------------
#3321
From: nemi_fredner
Date: Sat Mar 27, 2004 4:19 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
I am extremely fortunate to have been a student of Sri Chinmoy since
the age of 18. I am now 54. For 36 years I have been privileged to
receive Sri Chinmoy's illumined spiritual guidance and encouragement
in every aspect of my life.
As a woman on this path, I am able to cultivate my capacities and my
feminine qualities in a powerfully nurturing environment together
with my fellow students. I feel safe; I feel strong. In the Sri
Chinmoy Centre, I meditate, I sing, I write, I run, I organise
projects, I perform in plays, I travel and meet people from many
different cultures with remarkably similar aspirations. In the job I
have held in the so-called "outer world" for 27 years, I work hard
and interact cheerfully and harmoniously with my colleagues. Thanks
to Sri Chinmoy, the inner life and the outer life, for me, have
become seamless. There is no difference. The spiritual life is
everything, and everything in life is spiritual.
I know my goal, be it ever so far, and I know my way. Along the way,
opportunities reach out to me constantly, thanks to my spiritual
teacher. Every aspect of my life is tended to with utmost care and
concern. Sri Chinmoy has given me the most beautiful name--which
means sanctity, purity, sacredness--and he has given me the constant
encouragement to grow into these divine qualities. What more could I
ask from life? For all the blessings I have received, I am
profoundly grateful.
Nemi
------------------------------------------------------------
#3322
From: balarka_sa
Date: Sat Mar 27, 2004 11:46 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Dear Eta,
Reading your post brought to life a memory from a Joy weekend in
Wellington in November 1996 (not sure about the date). A few of us
had driven down from Auckland and quite a few people (including you)
had driven up from Christchurch and taken the ferry from Picton.
After the weekend was over, I distinctly remember how you went
around to every single person and thanked each one of us
individually. You were so incredibly grateful for the whole
experience. I remember thinking that it was as if you couldn't
really believe that what you had experienced was really true it
was as though the whole thing seemed like a dream and you fully
expected to wake up at any moment. It was a truly moving experience
to witness. Ever since then I have always had the utmost respect for
you the fact that you joined the Centre at the age of 53, and with
such enthusiasm and determination has always profoundly inspired me.
Thank you!
Balarka
------------------------------------------------------------
#3326
From: sundari_one
Date: Sat Mar 27, 2004 11:50 pm
Subject: Equality in the Sri Chinmoy Centres
I have been so inspired by every single one of the posts in answer
to the Question for the Women, including the last one from the
moderator. It was long, but I read every word! Thank you for your
eloquence.
I just wanted to mention another thing that I find interesting about
our Sri Chinmoy Centres and that is the lack of bias based on age.
We are a large family and many of us have known each other for
decades. Many other members are relatively recent additions to our
family. Yet each person is appreciated for his or her own good
qualities, regardless of age. Within our group we relate to each
other equally whether male or female, old or young. It makes no
difference. We seem to have an ageless feeling. We see each other as
just people, brothers and sisters, without the stereotypes of age
and gender that are so prevalent in the outer world.
Perhaps this is because many of us who are single don't have the
responsibilities of people in society to "grow up" and take on the
"adult" responsibilities of raising a family, etc. We still have a
childlike feeling of trust and faith in God and in our spiritual
father, Sri Chinmoy. It is such a precious gift to be able to keep
that childlike quality all our lives.
We are only as old as we feel!
In oneness,
--Sundari
------------------------------------------------------------
#3343
From: sunchia_nz
Date: Sun Mar 28, 2004 5:03 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Is the Sri Chinmoy Centre a safe place for women? Yes, since I
became a student of Sri Chinmoy this is the safest I have been in my
entire life. Here I find a spiritual freedom and a secure
environment to be who I truly am. The Sri Chinmoy Centre enables me
to be very much an individual, to strive for my inner life, and also
to be part of a wonderful, caring family.
The support and friendship shared with me is overwhelming, and as
the mother of a small child, I feel so much care and warmth. There
is a pureness here and simplicity that strengthens the soul, mind,
body and entire being. This is "living" safe. There are many
opportunities to embrace a healthy and balanced lifestyle.
Since being part of the Sri Chinmoy Centre, my life has changed
within and without, allowing me to let go of fear, to wake up, stand
tall and walk forward.
Sunchia Raphael
New Zealand
------------------------------------------------------------
#3344
From: stacey_auckland
Date: Sun Mar 28, 2004 5:43 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Without a doubt, being a student of Sri Chinmoy has positively
enhanced and enriched my life. With all the outer world problems
that we face, it is a relief to find a place where we are valued for
the beauty of our hearts. Race, religion and gender are, you could
say, 'left at the door'. Sri Chinmoy has created and inspired in his
Centres all around the world, a feeling of purity and a haven where
we as individuals can develop spiritually.
In my years in the Centre, I feel I have gained inner poise and
confidence that has assisted me in coping with the worldly problems
often faced in day-to-day life. I feel I am now seeing the world in
a new light, with more compassion, a feeling of oneness, a sense of
gratitude for what I have and what I am, and the passion to live
every day to its fullest. This process has not been one of adopting
somebody else's beliefs and attitudes, but one of self-discovery
through meditation, and being surrounded with positive people and a
positive environment in which to grow inwardly. This in turn has
flowed over into the attainment of a more harmonious and successful
outer life.
Most people I encounter are very positive about my choice of a
spiritual lifestyle. I find it reassuring that an increasing number
of people are gaining insight into the benefits of spirituality. It
seems that this understanding is becoming more mainstream, and that
people are realising that adding spirituality to the physical and
mental "diet" creates a life of purity, balance and harmony.
We as individual seekers may often fall short of the ideal as we
strive towards transforming and perfecting our nature. I personally
may not always be a perfect representative of the spiritual life,
but having spent time with Sri Chinmoy, I have never seen him fall
short in any area. He stands as a radiant example of pure and living
spirituality.
Sri Chinmoy came to the West 40 years ago, bringing with him a solid
foundation of 20 years of spiritual discipline in India. During his
youthful ashram years he lived a life of meditation and service,
enriched with sports and cultural activities.
Since that time, he has devoted himself to sharing his spiritual
experiences with Westerners. His life of complete dedication to
serving a higher cause must inevitably be valued by seekers far and
wide in the fullness of time. For those who do not personally know
Sri Chinmoy, his spiritual realisation and personal integrity are
crystal clear from his writings, which can be read at
http://www.srichinmoy.org/ .
Yes, the Sri Chinmoy Centre is a safe place for women and children.
Unfortunately the world around us is not always safe. I live in hope
that one day the purity and beauty in the hearts of all the truth-
seekers and God-lovers of the world, no matter which spiritual path
they choose to follow, will spread and create a pure and safe world
for all of us to live in--a world where humanity can freely express
pure love and compassion, and live in oneness and harmony with each
other.
Stacey Marsh
New Zealand
------------------------------------------------------------
#3345
From: sudhirahay
Date: Sun Mar 28, 2004 6:21 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
This question about safety is one that I have never asked myself in
all the years I have been a student of Sri Chinmoy!
My mother joined Sri Chinmoy Centre when I was four years old.
Meditation and having a spiritual teacher have been utterly normal
things to me for as long as I can remember. Growing up in Sri
Chinmoy Centre does not mean you do not know the world, or are
separated from the world. I went to school, had friends, etc. In
fact, I was lucky in that the school I went to was rooted in another
spiritual tradition--so they understood and taught meditation to
every student who was interested. They let me meditate in the way I
was used to.
Since Sri Chinmoy's path advocates, among other things, a celibate
lifestyle, I would say that the only difference between myself and
my friends was my lack of interest in partying.
Seeing my friends go through some heavy-duty teenage stuff
(sometimes extending into their adult lives), I have always been
grateful that I did not have to follow that route to "feel alive".
The path offers enough challenges to keep me more than adequately
occupied, whether it is something relatively simple, like physical
fitness or learning songs, or something harder, like trying to face
and transform one's own undivine qualities. Sri Chinmoy's path, with
its clear criteria for leading a pure life, offers students the
ultimate safe environment for the world's hardest task: the
transformation of our human failings into positive strengths.
Recently, Sri chinmoy made an off-the-cuff comment that goes
something like this (I paraphrase): "The time will come when men
will sincerely appreciate the divine qualities of women, and women
will sincerely appreciate the divine qualities of men. At that time,
both will be able to make the fastest progress."
------------------------------------------------------------
#3349
From: nayak_ltp
Date: Mon Mar 29, 2004 1:13 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Dear Moderator,
Your new question is another good one. "Is the Sri Chinmoy Centre a
safe place for children?" I hope that some of the members of our
Centre who grew up with Sri Chinmoy will answer this--as well as the
women who raised them.
I would also say that all of us who have been in the Centre have
pretty rapidly become children in spirit, even at age 64; and while
safety is always there, joy is a much more lively presence.
Yours,
Nayak
------------------------------------------------------------
#3376
From: sarada1007
Date: Tue Mar 30, 2004 6:44 am
Subject: The whole safety thing
I didn't respond to this question originally because I didn't really
feel that the issue of safety had much to do with my spiritual life
(I read the original post and just thought, 'huh?'). I actually
doubted it had much to do with anyone's spiritual life, although
subsequently the concept of safety has been interpreted in many
different ways. I can also see now that the reason I was not
interested in the question of safety is that it 'goes without
saying' that women (and also children and men) are completely safe
in the Sri Chinmoy Centres. It is such a non-issue that my brain
couldn't even really engage with the question.
Having said that, I cannot imagine that anybody would join a
spiritual group or stay within it primarily for that reason. There
are many other, much easier ways to stay safe in those terms and (if
you happen to be female) then, let's face it, getting married is
probably one of them! We all know that a lone female is less likely
to be hassled with a wedding ring on her finger, and so in some ways
being single makes you more vulnerable to the 'outside' world. The
real point here, however, is not to do with physical or even
emotional safety (which can easily be found elsewhere) but rather
the safety of the 'highest self'. Within the Sri Chinmoy Centres,
that part of us which seeks satisfaction in the highest and
absolutely most profound sense is provided with the ultimate safe
haven. This is surely one of the reasons why so many people (of both
sexes) choose to stay within it indefinitely.
------------------------------------------------------------
#3404
From: Kriyavati
Date: Wed Mar 31, 2004 11:28 am
Subject: gratitude to everyone
My heart and my soul just want to express my profound gratitude to
everyone for all the inspiration I am getting from reading all these
messages from all over the world. Every post has a new and different
inspiration-flavour. Thank you so much.
As a woman, I would like to say that being a student of Sri Chinmoy
brings more happiness into my life. It is a very safe environment
and every day brings new opportunities to become a better, stronger,
more confident and more independent person. This path has inspired
me to do things that keep me healthy through sports, arts and
specially through meditation and prayers. I find my life so
interesting with new goals, new challenges all the time, and very
often with solutions unpredicted and unexpected. (That makes it very
interesting!)
Sri Chinmoy is a real inspiration with his vivid examples of
transcendence. All my gratitude goes specially to him and to
everyone in our dearest familly who is trying to create a better
world to live in. I would add that it is a real privilege to be on
this path.
Love and gratitude to all,
Kriyavati, Montreal
------------------------------------------------------------
#3405
From: molingmonika
Date: Wed Mar 31, 2004 5:10 am
Subject: Re: Question for the women
Thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to express myself
on this important matter.
First of all, I would like to say that people (women and men) join
Sri Chinmoy's path because they feel an inner urge for spirituality
and the inner life. Many are not satisfied living the ordinary
material life because inside them are questions like "Who am I?",
"Where do I come from?", "What is the meaning of life?" or "Where
will I be after death?".
Since I was a child, I myself always liked to pray and speak to God.
I wondered why there is no school for the inner values in a world
where there are so many schools of different kinds. So finally
finding Sri Chinmoy's meditation school was like finding the school
I always wanted. Sri Chinmoy himself is the head of this school
because he has gone through all the lessons of the inner and outer
life, and so he knows how to teach others. I wish many more could
have the beautiful experience of his harmonious and loving
teachings. It is our own experience which is the real proof of the
God-consciousness Sri Chinmoy brings down.
Yes, it is true: in the centre we feel protected, for diverse
reasons both spiritual and practical. When we lead a spiritual life,
we pray to God and we meditate on God. We feel God's presence and
guidance, and we know He never abandons us. He protects us from
wrong forces. Leading a spiritual life, we dress in a modest way so
as not to cause wrong thoughts in others. Also, if women travel the
streets at night, Sri Chinmoy himself recommends that they travel in
a group of at least two or three (never alone). This is a
commonsense protection.
Sri Chinmoy's path offers an integral approach. With his method we
are working on all the five levels of ourselves: body, vital, mind,
heart and soul. We try to transform our limited nature into a more
fulfilling and liberating consciousness. Anything that disturbs us
we gradually tranform into its opposite positive quality. For
example, the lethargy of the body becomes action, the aggression of
the vital becomes dynamism, the doubt of the mind becomes faith, the
insecurity of the heart becomes certainty and the hidden soul
becomes our true experience.
So also, the lower vital forces (or sexual instincts) are not
"repressed," but rather transformed through meditation on the heart,
which brings us abundant purity. Through our love for God, we
transform our lower impulses into a higher energy we can use to
serve God in humanity. Of course, nothing is immediate. The
transformation of our nature takes time, so that is why we go to
school and have a teacher. We are all learning, and our goal is
constant progress.
Thank you very much.
Monika. Italy.
------------------------------------------------------------
#3415
From: anna_canberra
Date: Wed Mar 31, 2004 9:48 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Here is my response to your "Question For The Women".
International Women's Day fell close to a special day on our Centre
calendar, the anniversary of Sri Chinmoy's first marathon. Many
members of the Centre celebrated it by running a marathon on the
weekend of March 6/7. Especially with my 10th anniversary in the
Centre approaching, this gave me the opportunity to reflect on my
experience.
I joined the Sri Chinmoy Centre at 28 years of age in Sydney, not
with any particular problems in my outer life, but with a strong
sense that there must be more to life, and with an inner urge to
make more progress with meditation, which I had already begun to
practise.
The word "spirituality" was then a new word in my everyday
vocabulary; but as I continued to attend the sessions run by the
Centre, I embraced the spiritual life as it is lived by students of
Sri Chinmoy with the knowledge that there was no turning back for
me.
Why did I do this? I found that the Centre members had in common an
underlying sense of joy, peace, sincerity and purity. The group
meetings became the highlight of my week, a spiritual oasis in a
busy, modern, city life. Sri Chinmoy's teachings rang 100% true in
every atom of my being, and I found that all the questions I had
ever asked were being answered.
I must admit that when people started talking about running
marathons, I was of the belief that this was probably not for me. My
physical constitution has always been a little tempermental. But I
felt an inner urge to start running, so I gradually did. I would
never have imagined that not only would I go on to run marathons,
but also ultra- marathons. I was a member of the relay teams for the
Sri Chinmoy Oneness-Home Peace Run in three countries: Norway,
Australia, and the US.
While running to celebrate Sri Chinmoy's running career, the joy of
my own running memories--which is only one aspect of my life in the
Centre--revisited me. I was filled with gratitude for the tremendous
opportunities presented to me as a student of Sri Chinmoy. Anybody
who has been to a marathon can verify that women are badly
outnumbered on the field. Yet in the Centre, I have never felt like
a "minority", intimidated, or limited in what I can achieve. To the
contrary, I feel that limitations are to be challenged and
transcended.
So to say that the spiritual life is empowering is true. We live in
times where women have increased freedom to express themselves in
all facets of life, and I believe this relates to their spiritual
expression as well.
While it is true that I feel protected in the Centre, this is not
why I remain a member. It is the love, joy and peace that I feel
that keeps me close, and the protection comes part and parcel with
it.
In history, many virtuous people have been victims of ignorant and
undivine attitudes. Does this mean they should not be virtuous? Of
course not. If people misunderstand or criticise my spirituality,
then let them. It does not change who I am.
Returning to your question: I cannot comment on the cause of mental
sickness, but someone who has this pre-disposition would find solace
in spirituality because of the peace and joy that it brings, without
which destructive forces can surface in a more aggressive way.
So yes, Sri Chinmoy Centre is a safe place for women. As we devote
our lives to God, the Divine Grace protects and expands our lives.
------------------------------------------------------------
#3486
From: sushmitam_r
Date: Sat Apr 3, 2004 2:45 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Re: Qn For Women - therapy, Freud, false memory - reply to 3311
--Dear Moderator, thank you for your very detailed analysis of the
psychological factors at play in this whole issue of therapy and the
potential for false accusations towards spiritual groups. It is a
fascinating issue (to me as a psychologist anyway!) but also a
rather distasteful one to contemplate. Whenever I read in the papers
of this type of abuse supposedly occurring in a spiritual group, I
always keep an open mind about where the truth really lies. At any
rate, since you have expanded on some of the things I wrote in my
previous posting, I've decided to add a few comments.
I believe that the scenario you describe whereby a patient may come
to say that she has been abused by a spiritual group definitely
occurs. The process you describe is at the more gross end of
therapeutic irresponsibility, and readers may be shocked to realise
that this can happen. I have two main comments relating to this
issue. The first involves an elaboration of some of the more subtle
ways in which false accusations may arise. The second is an
explanation for how there can be such incredibly abusive therapy.
1.You elaborated on the psychological processes which may occur when
someone leaves a spiritual path - a path which they found positive,
but which challenged aspects of their nature which they chose not to
transform. I think in my original posting I emphasised the grief
involved in leaving, and you have quite rightly identified guilt as
another factor. You emphasised guilt in relation to the spiritual
teacher and friends on the path. I would also add that I think there
is enormous guilt in relation to the self in such cases. A person
who has found great love and light through a spiritual path, but
cannot bear to give up old ways, is at some level aware that they
are betraying their own highest self or soul. How could such a
person possibly bear the knowledge of this self-betrayal? One way is
to make the group or the Guru 'bad' in their mind. I think this
helps us to understand the process you describe (which might
otherwise seem an unlikely scenario) whereby a patient ends up
agreeing with what are basically lies put forward by the therapist.
The therapist's suggestion of abuse helps the patient to resolve the
internal conflict of leaving something which has been positive, so
she is willing to take these lies onboard.
Importantly though, in my opinion, false memories and accusations of
abuse can also arise directly from the patient, without therapist
suggestion. How could it be that a patient comes up with her own
lies - and believes them?? Surely just needing to find a way of
dealing with the inner conflict arising from leaving a spiritual
group would not be enough to produce such lies! To understand this
phenomenon, we can obtain a little help from an old friend of mine,
Sigmund Freud! (Yes I know Freud is out of date, and overemphasised
the role of the sexual impulse in everything, but some of his ideas
are still very relevant. Bear with me!)
Freud discovered, to his absolute amazement, that some of his female
patients were falling in love with him and expecting or believing
that he too would love them! What on earth was going on?? He
eventually came to the understanding that patients project onto
their therapist many unresolved desires and impulses, and that they
do this completely unconsciously. This process of projection (or
transference, as it is called in the therapy context) can be
observed in all sorts of relationships. It is accentuated in the
type of therapy Freud advocated, where the therapist does not give
much away about himself personally, so the patient, in the absence
of any clues to the contrary, projects onto the 'blank slate' of the
therapist all sorts of issues, which are then used by the therapist
as information about the patient. (A simplistic example: someone who
grew up with parents who were constantly angry with her, easily
expects anger, and so will come to believe her therapist is angry
with her even when he is not.)
Interestingly, this phenomenon is common in the spiritual life,
particularly when there is a Guru involved. A spiritual seeker,
hoping for transformation, will project on the Guru all sorts of
emotions, hopes and desires, some consciously and some
unconsciously. To use the example I gave above, a seeker who has
unresolved problems with anger, may feel that her Guru is angry with
her, even when he is not.
A Guru like Sri Chinmoy offers inner guidance to thousands of
seekers, and helps them in their meditation; but he cannot possibly
become personally involved in all the details of each person's life.
If a seeker projects her desires on the Guru, there may be little
opportunity to "talk it out." The seeker is responsible for
maintaining the right attitude. Hopefully, through meditation and
perhaps some reality checking with others, she will come to see how
she expects anger much of the time, and because of this she is blind
to the spiritual love that her Guru is inwardly expressing. I have
frequently observed this phenomenon at play amongst Sri Chinmoy's
students, and usually it is all part of the transformation process
and has a positive outcome.
Now if this process of projection by the seeker includes sexual or
aggressive impulses, as it did with Freud, and the seeker leaves
before these are transformed, the misperceiving of the Guru can lead
to accusations of abuse of various sorts. In this case, the person
actually sees and experiences her own impulses as being those of the
Guru. It then requires a much smaller slip in perception of reality
for such a person to believe that a Guru has behaved in an abusive
manner. Unfortunately, the line between sanity and madness is not as
clear as most people believe - as anyone working in the
psychological field will affirm!
2. Now to the issue of how on earth there can be such irresponsible
and abusive therapists! This is truly an appalling state of affairs,
and is largely due to the training or lack thereof in the therapy
profession. I'm not sure how therapy training and legislation works
in the USA, but the problem is very clear in Australia. For
starters, anyone at all, without one day of training, or any
psychological insight, can hang up a shingle outside an office and
describe themselves as "counsellor", "therapist" or
"psychotherapist". These titles have no legal requirements attached
to them!
Then there are psychiatrists. In Australia, their training is first
a medical degree, then postgraduate specialisation in psychiatry,
which is largely training on the use of psychiatric medication. They
get almost no training in the talking side of things. This is fine
if they stick to prescribing and adjusting medication, which many of
them do. However others dabble in counselling or therapy with no
extra training - as do ordinary doctors here.
Now to psychologists! I am one of these. I can confidently say that
in a basic psychology degree here in Australia, one can gain high
marks solely on the basis of investigating animal behaviour (e.g.,
pigeons). After this, one is let loose to practice on people - at
first under supervision, and then on one's own. This is another
recipe for therapeutic disaster!
Many people in the helping professions choose to get extra training
(thank God!), but it is not required by their professional body, and
is of varying quality. In my opinion, to be effective, any training
in this area MUST require the trainee to undergo therapy him or
herself. Otherwise, aspects of the therapist's own personality,
which are unrecognised, will be projected onto the patients. The
best therapists that I have come across have all had this type of
training. Certainly some therapists are more gifted than others, but
the worst case scenarios you describe occur due to a lack of proper
training.
As I said in my previous posting, I was very fortunate myself to
have a therapist who was full of integrity and understanding and was
very well trained. He freely admitted to me that he had no firsthand
experience in the area of spirituality, but he was very respectful
of my experience and had no agenda of his own in relation to the
lifestyle and beliefs I came to adopt.
Well! Never did I imagine that I would find myself posting on such a
psychologically convoluted topic on this site! The spiritual life is
always full of surprises!
With gratitude
Sushmitam
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#3575
From: Sara in Italy
Date: Wed Apr 7, 2004 2:24 pm
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Being a Sri Chinmoy student means, for me, such a beautiful
experience that cannot be described by words. If I only think about
it, my heart becomes full of pure joy. I feel I finally arrived to
my "safe part" in order to start my fruitful path in pure safety and
trust, together with many beautiful people.
I didn't even think such beautiful people could exist, and being in
constant contact with them brought so much joy and inspiration in my
life. I live in Italy and I started on Sri Chinmoy's path only three
years ago, but my life has totally changed for the better Already
after the first year I saw so many changes in myself. I feel I am
changing and constantly bettering myself.
There is nothing strange or "mysterious" in following a spiritual
path under the guidance of a Master. We are not extraterrestrials or
people who need psychiatric help. We are just ordinary people who
somehow received an "inner call" or an inspiration to look after
something inside ourselves, because the outer life alone could not
satisfy our needs. Or, simply, someone met some students of Sri
Chinmoy: they are optimistic, joyful and full of peace, sweetness,
balance, determination, eagerness, sincerity, purity and other
beautiful qualities that cannot often be observed in the majority of
people. I was one of those average people. Absolutely not better.
Nobody would even think that I could one day receive such joy in
practising the spiritual life.
Spiritual life is not the punishing life that everybody expects.
When we sincerely pray and meditate and we try to do what our heart
tells us, we look at life, people, trees and the world in a
different way. We experience true joy inside and the people around
feel it, because our eyes are beaming, smiling at the world and the
world feels something beautiful and gets inspiration, even if
unconsciously. I can see in my everyday life that the small
vibration of peace and happiness I offer touches the hearts of
others. I work in a shop and often speak with people who do not
practice any spiritual life. They could seem impolite and stressed
out--but every one of them can reveal his or her own best qualities
with a little care, politeness and happiness. I do not make any
effort, I am just happy at last, and people just feel it and smile.
I can get so much peace and joy on this path. I deeply feel Sri
Chinmoy's protection, guidance, help and presence.
Our soul can guide our life. We are used to hearing messages from
our mind, but we consciously make mistakes and have negative
experiences. Not so when following the dictates of our soul.
Everybody has a soul, but very rarely can people catch it's
messages. A spiritual Master, who has already discovered the power
of his own soul by completing his own journey, can help us feel what
is best to do in our lives according to our soul's needs. Behaving
in the proper way and also following our "good sense," we can
overcome many obstacles.
I feel very happy and safe in the Sri Chinmoy Centre. These are not
words coming from blind trust to someone or something, but from a
clear and sure inner feeling, and from personal experiences I have
had which gave answers to my inner doubts.
On this path we learn to listen to our heart and soul, which we can
begin to understand in small measure as intuition. Intuition is not
mental information, it is certainty of the truth. We get a flash of
intuition, and we discover it was really true. The heart knows this
truth in an instant because it identifies with the truth. But the
mind puts us through many trials and doubts, and at times can act
like an enemy if we give it too much power in the wrong way.
As for the moderator's idea that spiritual sickness leads to mental
sickness... I think that spirituality and mental illness go in
opposite directions. Real spirituality goes through the heart. By
meditating on the heart we get peace, understanding, love and a
feeling of oneness with the rest of the world. The mind separates
us, makes us feel ourselves as better than others, and makes us
behave as egoists, to get more power over others.
The wrong way to understand or conceive of a certain religion is to
fail to follow feelings of oneness, brotherhood and love for each
other. This way uses the mind for its power goals. This explains the
fears of some parents and relatives who do not know how different
Sri Chinmoy Centre is from what they imagine. Our path is based on
love, care, understanding and the transformation of many negative
qualities (egoism, aggressivity, etc.).
We follow the path of the heart because the joy of the heart is not
defeated by these negative qualities. Of course, this does not mean
that Sri Chinmoy's students do not use the mind. If the mind can be
guided by the spiritual heart, then it acts in the correct way. The
heart always knows what is right and how to get to it. We are all
equal before God, and all of us have this wonderful opportunity to
progress, because each of us has the spiritual heart, and the
beautiful soul within.
Sri Chinmoy's path has been and is for me a wonderful opportunity to
evolve and better myself, to listen to my inner voice. I faced and
overcame without particular efforts many experiences which three
years ago I would have considered as impossible for me. My
determination and willingness increased--and most important, I am
learning to listen to my inner voice.
I am so certain about that, I feel it so strongly, that I simply do
not care about what others think or say. I am sure that if they only
could feel what I am feeling, they would never doubt my new way of
life. I like so much Sri Chinmoy's path. I rightly feel I am the
most fortunate person on Earth.
Sara. (Italy)
------------------------------------------------------------
#3603
From: prachar_1
Date: Fri Apr 9, 2004 8:56 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
Dear Moderator,
You have tackled a complex and difficult subject, and shone a
searchlight of pure understanding into what is at best a dense
forest, and at worst a putrid quagmire that has engulfed the lives
of many. That you stride confidently where many fear to tread is a
testament to your courage and the powerful conviction that impels
you.
I am astonished that you are familiar with the writing of Richard
Guilliatt, an authority whose work was also cited in a court case in
Canberra, Australia--a case where the insidious nature of so-called
'recovered memory' was fully exposed, and the devastating
consequences of false tales of abuse on the lives of innocent people
was amply demonstrated.
I am grateful also that you have quoted from Sushmitam's incisive
posting on this subject. I found particular resonance in her
comments about the need to turn all one's good memories into bad in
order to deal with the grief of leaving a spiritual community:
"I remember an experience I had when I was quite new on the path a
year or two perhaps. I was overwhelmed by the love, the peace and
the experiences of God that I had gained on the path, but at the
same time was struggling with some of the lifestyle aspects of the
path. I realised at this time that my positive experiences far
outweighed my struggles and that I definitely did not want to leave
the path. However in dealing with this struggle, I came to the
realisation that if anything ever pulled me away from the path, the
only way I would be able to bear to leave, would be to destroy in my
mind all the positive experiences I had gained otherwise the grief
of leaving would be completely overwhelming. Everything good would
have to be made bad, everything pure made impure, in order to
justify to myself such an action."
Sushmitam's testimony is the fruit of deep and sincere inner
reflection. (Some truths cannot be counterfeited.) Interestingly and
eerily, her words bear a close resemblance to some spoken to me
twenty years ago by a former mentor on this path, one who was later
to enact, puppet-like, the truth of his own prescient words.
So to return to the original writer: Your contribution in this field
is truly invaluable. You are literally helping to save lives.
Prachar
------------------------------------------------------------
#3611
From: ckgaparajita
Date: Sat Apr 10, 2004 10:14 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
The moderator wrote:
"Yet, social scientists who have studied the data have concluded
that people who join religious movements tend to do so in response
to deeply felt spiritual needs--often after a period in which they
were dissatisfied with the quality of their spiritual life. This is
certainly borne out by the women's stories in this thread."
It is also borne out by my own experience. When I first became a
student of Sri Chinmoy, my parents -- as many do -- thought I had
fallen into a dangerous trap, that there must have been something
"wrong" with me that compelled me to join this "group."
So, figuring I was a poor 18-year-old who had lost his way, they
sent me to a well-known psychologist who specialized in teenage
problems. He was a very nice man. I showed him some of Guru's books,
which he read. I told him what our path was about (or at least what
I understood of it after a few months) and what our spiritual
practice was.
After a few visits, he had made his analysis and met with me and my
parents. I shall never, ever forget that meeting; it is forever
etched in my consciousness! It went something like this:
Psychologist: First of all, Mr. and Mrs. X, I want to start by
saying that your son is a perfectly normal, well-adjusted boy of 18.
I give him a completely clean bill of health.
Parents: We don't doubt that, Doctor, but what we want to know is
why he felt the need to join this group?
Psychologist: Instead of answering that question, why don't we
answer this question: why did you feel the need to send him to me,
just because he decided to join a spiritual group? All of us seek
the Truth in our own way. Some people seek the Truth more
vociferously than others. [I remember so vividly he used the word
"vociferously".] Your son happens to be one of those people. I see
absolutely no harm either in his search for the Truth or in the path
he has chosen to follow.
God bless that psychologist! He really saved me. More than that, he
proved that there are good psychologists out there who really
understand human nature from a broad point of view.
- Aparajita
------------------------------------------------------------
#3730
From: srichinmoyinspiration
Date: Thu Apr 22, 2004 2:18 am
Subject: Re: Question For The Women
I will soon post the digest of the discussion topic "Question For
The Women" from the Sri Chinmoy Inspiration Group, March/April 2004.
This will be Version 2 of the digest, containing all the messages
published so far (through April 21). The URL will be:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Sri_Chinmoy_Inspiration/message/3731
I was deeply moved by the outpouring of responses to the question.
The women are being very gracious in taking time out from their busy
schedules. I hope I will not be accused of keeping them from their
prayers, meditations, careers and families if I say that I have
further comments and questions.
I hope to follow up soon. For now, I would just like to express my
gratitude to all who are posting. You are providing a rich source of
information about Sri Chinmoy Centre which was hitherto unavailable.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I hope also that in speaking up honestly about their lives, none of
the women have experienced undue hardship. Where anti-cult groups
email the women links to pornographic material, I really feel this
is a crime, and deserves to be treated as a crime. Even if the
person doing it is mentally ill, still you would think he would show
some conscience. But perhaps for some people, that's what mental
illness is--a loss of conscience, and a loss of empathy for those
whom they once loved, and who once tried to help them overcome their
lifelong problems.
Sometimes a spiritual teacher has to be part psychologist, part
social worker--even music therapist! It is well known that those in
the helping professions run the greatest risk of being cyberstalked.
Over the years, Sri Chinmoy has done much outreach work with
troubled youth. He has helped many people turn their lives around;
but I think for some people it's still a daily battle to live a
decent life. Sometimes, even after twenty years or more of fighting
the good fight, a person relapses into solipsistic behavior, such as
problems with drugs and alcohol (or just plain brute selfishness).
Then they may lash out at someone they once loved--someone who
honestly tried to help them. They try to hang on to a former mentor
in a troubled way, by stalking him on the Internet. It seems that
anti-cult groups encourage this kind of felonious activity.
According to information found at:
http://www.cyber-stalking.net/
some of the methods used by cyberstalkers to harass their victims
include:
- Creating websites about the victim to attack or harass them
- Posting in a newsgroup or on an online discussion forum or
discussion board to attack the victim
- Accusing the victim of paedophilia to incite harassment of the
victim
Cyber-stalking.net is a resource you can use to learn more about
online safety. Where an online service turns a blind eye to
harassment and stalking behavior, as a last resort it may be
necessary to file a police report.
There is something noble in the sacrifices made by the women telling
their personal stories; for in doing so, they are joining in the
same outreach work which has earned Sri Chinmoy a reputation as a
saint among thousands of people who were crying for a better life,
but who did not feel they had the tools to change their lives until
they learned meditation under his silent gaze.
Those who have received inner awakening and have begun their
spiritual journey sometimes find that the world is ready to devour
them with its suspicion. In following the age-old spiritual counsel
to be pure of heart and childlike in spirit, they may find that they
are mocked and set upon, and that they must be as lambs among
wolves.
I applaud the women for their courage, and hope they will continue
to speak out on issues of concern. Their innocence and purity speaks
volumes about their character, and the character of their teacher.
When people read their stories, I think that a process of slow,
careful reflection will begin, and this will help lead many people
to a deeper understanding.
I believe that in leading a pure life, the women bring forth a
special inner beauty which is unparalleled, and which inspires
everyone whose hearts they touch. This beauty is on the inner plane,
and therefore is eternal and immortal. There is so much beauty on
Sri Chinmoy's path, and this beauty is born of purity and
innocence--qualities which the women have demonstrated in ample
measure, in addition to their strength and courage. I thank them
once again.
Assistant Moderator
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[end digest]